Hey guys,

I have had a recurring problem throughout my life and have now decided that it needs to be solved. That problem is not when I am with a girl but when i am not.

To make it clear, I mean that when I am dating or seeing a girl, it usually starts off really well. When they are in my presence we have fun flirt, kiss, joke around. The girl who il be talking about is one that I'm currently seeing (3rd date). After our first date she was loving me, I even got a text saying, "I don't want to scare you but I actually really like you".

Now I'm living at home and so is she, so while we were on our second date we decided to book a cheap hotel so we can have some alone time together.

I booked it and we were suppose to go today, turns out that she twists her ankle this morning.. So we had to cancel but I still had to pay for it. I was cool about it and she said she will book one for next week for us.

Unfortunately I have major trust issues when it comes to this type of thing and I hate it when people owe me. It feels like I will never get it back and some past experiences have shown me this.

This led me to start texting more than normal and caring about what I was saying more than normal. Now she is taking longer to reply etc. so basically the power has shifted towards her slightly.

Now I don't know what will happen, maybe she will do as she promised etc. but I have a bad feeling it won't. Also, even though this was a recent example, this kind of thing has happened over and over again.

I'm cool in beginning
She likes me
I make effort
She disappoints
I start feeling needy
She becomes distant.

And all of this is because I don't know how to control myself when I am not physically with a girl. All the things I have when I'm with a girl such as composure goes out the window when I'm texting her and something is bothering me. (This is mainly because of feeling like I'm owed for putting in effort etc.)

I really want to learn how to deal with these situations better and stop SPAM my power when I'm not physically with a girl.

Please help!

Dude, this is just like a smoker resisting the urge to pick up a cigarette. Unless you want to go and pay to see a professional there is not much that can be told to you except to resist the temptation to text a girl when you are feeling emotional.

Who is controlling your fingers when you are texting? You

Who is going to help you stop? You


Now that you understand where you are going wrong you tighten up a bit and practice a little resistance. This is a lot easier than you are making it out to be in head. Either you quit it now, or after enough rejection you final build up a wall strong enough to make you snap out of it.

Peace & Love

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Thank you, that was some good advice. My last question is how can i train myself to resist? do you have any experience of this? It is so hard at the time and yet seems so easy when im not in that situation. I start imagining bad scenarios and start questioning my decisions as for when its too soon to respond etc. and just end up in my head.

I've had some experience with this back in my high school days and the thing that really helps me is talking to multiple girls. When I'm texting many girls I don't really notice if one doesn't respond and I really don't care since I have many more options. Overall though OP you have to care less because your screwing yourself over. I know by your post that your throwing everything on this one girl, why not have more options? It can only help.