in a new city working with a friend, went to a restaurant for diner and created some really good rapport with a super hot waitress. She came up to me and said what are you doing tonight, said not sure I don't know the town what do you suggest. She said take my number and we can meet up i'm going out, I took it and texted her on the spot "Hey, its Kevin" left and 10 minutes later she wrote "Hey!!!!", that's it so far as far as texts

I can't go out tonight, working at 5am, just finished a 30hr drive and my buddy said put her off until next week and get her to bring a friend. This girl was really hot, we definitely had a chemistry right away that doesn't happen that often in life, my friend said she was checking me out hard when I walked to the bathroom, she came up to me, i'm giving off really good energy these days, etc... I don't want to fuck this up.

Should I.

a. text her back and say i'm not going out tonight? If so what do I say
b. ignore her and in a few days say (or tomorrow) and say something came up couldn't go out but i'd like to get together
c. go back to where she works on Weds/Thurs and spark up a chat again like nothing happened and line something more concrete?

Thanks for the advice

Show confidence and be direct text or better yet call if its a good time and have a bit of a convo then say something came up last weekend but I'll call you (example) wed or thurs and we'll go out say sun night. Be confident direct but leave her guessing a bit. Good luck hope that helps

WHAM and here we go with the strategies and overcomplications! You are trying to get the girl here, instead of just GETTING the girl, if you know what I mean.

Be HONEST. Be SINCERE. You wanna meet up with her? Tell her. It's really that fucking simple.

"Hey, can't make it tonight. But I'm going to X tomorrow night. Join me." - girls do this all the time, and this is how you notice it's not a flake. They suggest another date/time to meet up.

All these strategies in your head are there because you are afraid of losing the girl. Instead just do what YOU WANT TO DO, and DO IT FULLY WITHOUT APOLOGY. There. That's it. That's the secret. What do you want to do? Meet her? Then do so, push for that. If she does come out, then she does, if she doesn't, then she doesn't. Whatever, it doesn't matter. All you can control are your own actions.

Hope this helps.

I fell asleep and she never texted, i'm going to text her today and say didn't make it out last night but lets meet up Sunday, moving into my new place. Going forward i'm just going to act on what I want to act on, be open and direct and if she (or any other chick for that matter) likes it, they like it, if they don't, who cares really. I like the PUA stuff, it makes a lot of sense to me especially for openers and creating that first connection, but when I change the way I am and overthink its doomed before it starts. Open and direct is who I am and what people like, why change that.

You got it mate. Good luck!

I didn't see your post in time to help you with the first problem, but your proposed solution of "what next" seems fine.

I would just add a few recommendations.

You don't immediately have to get into texting about meeting/setting up a date. This is a big problem most guys have (i.e. getting too impatient). Whether it's talking sex or wanting to meet up, most guys blow it with showing too much desperation in their texts - so don't rush things.

There is no rush if you had real chemistry. She won't forget about you - especially if you aren't too anxious. Just text about normal things at first and then get a little flirty. Once you have her back in the mindset of when she first met you, THEN try to setup a date.

If you want more info on good texting tips, examples, and case-studies, you can check out this - http://optimacy.org/category/secrets/ch ... teractions

As for the prior night when you couldn't meet her out, here is a suggestion that has worked well. Tell her "Hey...I got to work tonight, but if you get bored, text me. Maybe I'll take a break to flirt with you "

You know that most people go out and get bored and start looking at their phones at some point. Now, you've implanted a suggestion that YOU are the person she should text when this happens. There's also a few other powerful techniques being used, but I won't go too much into details.

I know it's too late for your specific scenario, but I thought I would share it in case it happens in the future or to anyone else reading this thread.

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Just texted her, said "Hey, didn't make it out last night, moving into my new place Monday then i'll be in touch. Have a great weekend!!"

talked about the move with her a bit last night, new place is in a prime spot by where everyone goes out here apparently.

She wrote back 2 mins later "Thanks, you have a great weekend too!! talk soon "

Hey Optimacy, I really like this text and i'm going to use it tonight on a girl in another city who I chat with over text. We are flirting a lot over text, long story but I want this girl too (I want em all lol) she's my 1a just not an option for the time being due to living in different cities, but there is talk of a weekend together soon. I know shes going to be out tonight in her city with friends, she told me what she was up to this weekend and I told her i'm working.

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As for the prior night when you couldn't meet her out, here is a suggestion that has worked well. Tell her "Hey...I got to work tonight, but if you get bored, text me. Maybe I'll take a break to flirt with you
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Can you explain this a bit more, you say there is more you won't go into, but could you maybe go into it a bit?

My version later tonight will be "Hey... hope your having fun while i'm working away, but if you get bored, text me. Maybe i'll take a break to flirt with you "

STAY AWAY from ever using the word "Hope" in your texts. It's one of the cardinal rules we preach in our articles.

It's a word used too much by virtually EVERYONE (i.e. hope you're having a great day...hope you're doing well...hope you have fun). In a vacuum, there is nothing wrong with the word, but it's used too often and places you in the same pool with everyone else who says it.

Instead, if you have a funny personality, you could say something like "Have fun going out...I'll be busy trying to earn enough money to by you a fancy dinner at Sonic"

If you are more romantic or serious type, then make it interesting and mysterious.

I can't re-write everything in our articles, but one of the key words we teach guys to use in texts is "flirt".

This is a great word that doesn't put you in the pervy zone like so many guys who try to talk about sex in texts. However, it does create a sexual vibe that is often necessary in texts because you don't have eye contact/body language available.

It's also great component to keep in mind with online dating emails too. One of our clients is on Match.com and was getting a lot of no-shows for dates. We helped him change his correspondence when scheduling dates to include a sentence with the word "flirt", and it worked wonders.

It helped get the girl excited about meeting the guy versus looking at it as a business meeting. When you accomplish that, a girl won't flake!

_________________
Sex is like air...It isn't important unless you aren't getting any.

http://optimacy.org

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Nice catch, I will never use the word HOPE again in a text! or anywhere else for that matter

Have a fun weekend Optimacy, i'll be busy working so I can fly you to Vegas to spend a weekend with me, if you are bored send me a pm, I would make some time to FLIRT with you

Nice line...but I haven't taught you everything yet

My boss is actually going to Vegas next week with one of our other coaches for 4th of July weekend/UFC fight. It's not my taste, but the stories they come back with are unbelievable.

Come to think about it, that's a good idea for a new thread on here or maybe a new article to write. Thanks for triggering it.

If you live in Vegas, you should meet him for a drink. I think he is staying at the Cosmopolitan or one of those city center hotels. He's got some sweet spots there for meeting people and the people watching is supposedly second to none.

_________________
Sex is like air...It isn't important unless you aren't getting any.

http://optimacy.org

To follow on G+ http://plus.google.com/1010399509168205 ... erid=gplp0

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