The most important aspect of learning how to effectively interact with women is to actually do it and get rejected. Rejection and failure allow us to realize that "We suck" and as men who want more out of life, we want to not suck anymore. It lets us know that we fucked up somewhere and if we want a different result next time, we must fix the place that we fucked up. This is how you develop and expand as a person. It's like boxing... You don't just get to the level of a professional boxer because you read a book about boxing and took a boxing class. You get good because someone better than you hits you in the face and you don't want it to happen again. If you don't like getting hit... stay the fuck out of the ring.

People will always reject you. It's part of life. It is IMPOSSIBLE to make everyone like you. Can you make it EASIER for people to like you? Yes. Absolutely. That is what we do. And if someone does reject you and does not like you... Fuck it! Expect life to punch you in the face. And when it does, say "You hit like a bitch!" and stand up and swing back. You can always find that little bit more fight in you to stand back up, keep going and keep swinging. It's a matter of will power. How much can you take? How many shots to the head can you take before you go down? That's going to determine how good you can get at this. The answer is dependent on YOU. Nobody will make you get good at pick-up. You have to do it for yourself. Be completely self-reliant. If you want something in life, get out and do it yourself. Don't wait for someone to hand everything to you. That's part of being a man.

You must experience rejection in life, otherwise, you are not living. You are avoiding rejection because you would rather be "comfortable". You are alive and that is all that your genetics cares about. You are settling for as little in life as possible (being merely a breathing human being) because you want the comfort of never having to feel rejection. This is why most people in life have such low standards for themselves... They would rather have the comfort. Expose your mind to new experiences and challenges. If you don't experience challenge in life, you will lack depth. Enjoy getting fucked over. Always put yourself in bad situations. Embrace the challenge of something that isn't easy. It will add depth to you as a person. Throw yourself into the bullshit. Be an action taker and a risk taker. Adapt as the situation arises instead of making excuses as to what "could" go wrong.

When you experience rejection, you can then reflect on these experiences and use them as references as what you did correctly and where you went wrong. New experiences stimulate your mind and take your brain out of auto pilot. If you don't expose your mind to new experiences and take yourself out of your "comfort zone," your brain will experience atrophie. Your brain is a muscle. If you don't use it, it deteriorates.

Think back to any time in your life where "shit got rough" and you didn't know exactly what the outcome was going to be... You're still alive, right? You have learned from experiencing this trauma and now have developed a reference on how to act in a similar situation should it happen again to attain the desired outcome. You have trained the muscle in your brain to now act a certain way in a particular situation. You can use the references you have developed to know how to act in a given social situation when you are interacting with women.

Always be pushing yourself into new, difficult situations and step out of your comfort zone and allow yourself and your mind to expand. How does this relate to picking up women? Every interaction you put yourself into is a new experience however, a similar one to something you have had before. Train yourself to start seeing patterns in the interactions you have. Once you can determine the commonalities in something, it makes it much easier to over come the differences. There are always variables. This is an art form, not a science. Know the commonalities, act upon the differences as they happen. Force yourself to experience different things in set. Randomly blurt out "I like turtles" and completely through yourself and the girl off guard. Again, you have no idea what the outcome is going to be in any interaction nor should the outcome matter. Just keep pushing as far as you can until you either get the girl or you get rejected. Either way, you've got another experience to reflect upon.

You get good at this, as well as anything in life, by dealing with the bullshit that it throws at you as it comes. If you don't practice and you don't get rejected and don't get the experience doing it, you will always suck. This will all be theory and never become reality to you. There is no magic pill or special drink that will all of the sudden make all of this "pick-up and seduction theory" make sense. There is no switch that will one day flip on and it will all make sense. You must experience it. You must fail. You must reflect. You must practice some more. You see, you never actually get rejected... You just learn and you grow as a person.

There are two trains of thought when it comes to PUA training and your position is the most dominant one in this forum as promoted by moderators like Pumpington and forum posters like Ryan 'Sasha' Oceros and The Jackal.

The other train of thought is to aim small, get used to small successes, and build from there. However, this is the minority position taken by a few forum posters.

Professionally, as part of my marketing and sales job role, I've done both-- the cold calls approach and the hot leads approach.

In the cold call approach, what I do is go to a subdivision housing project and knock on all doors to get a sale. By my 50th door, I was sweating like a pig and my shoes felt so hot from the searing pavement. I got rejection after rejection. At the end of the day (and still no sale) I really felt down and out and wondered: "Does this fucking thing even work?" But of course, since the cold call approach was company wisdom that the sales trainers promoted aggressively, I just went ahead plowed door after door.

In the hot leads approach, I got a certain say on how to get things done. I prepared brochures and pamphlets, mailed this to a hundred potential clients and when we got a hot lead (a positive response), we prepared the van with full presentation equipment and what have you and hit the road towards the client. But before presenting to the the hot lead we presented first to 3-5 other prospects via cold calls to get some practice before the finale. I didn't sweat like a pig in this approach and was very laid back and confident during presentations both for the practice sets and the final hot lead presentation.

I got my first sale via the hot leads approach and the following sales I've got, we leveraged on the massive social proof we got from positive testimonials and good feedback.

In pick up, I've done both.

Why?

I know the value of the cold calls approach. The cold calls approach will teach you what doesn't work and kick your butt to be more attentive to the body language people make that signal the sale or the f-close. You get sharper; rejection after rejection. The only downside is that you get used to rejection too much, you just go through the motions of approaching like a zombie.

Of course, the more efficient one is the hot leads approach. However, it is difficult to succeed in the hot leads approach if you haven't learned to be sharp enough to read people's body language and calibrate and escalate accordingly to the situation at hand. In simple terms, you don't have the killer instinct if you haven't paid your dues and done the cold call approach.

In the hot leads approach, you are training yourself to get used to success step by step. People have a tendency to sabotage themselves when they are used to failure after failure; hence, there's a mission critical need to train yourself too to get used to success.

My point? After your 100th cold call approach, level up and try something more efficient.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Hey man, I like this post a lot, since I definitely relate to the cold call approach. Rejection is a thing that just happens in my life now. But I'm interested in hearing about what you found to be more efficient? What would be the equivalent to a hot lead approach in your eyes that you didn't get through a cold call approach? I might just be misunderstanding here, just want to know what you mean with a hot lead approach in terms of pickup? I'm guessing using things like social proof, social circle game and such stuff once you are sharp with reading girls and know what to do.

All that mass approach and rejection does not work, the only good thing about it is that will help you like hellhound say identify apporach invites, and focus on warm approaches. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do, for example in sausage fest, garbage time,. You need to cold approach. What is efficient is being able to identify or force approach invites from women. In sells the same stuff, get leads that meet your target market, instead of calling from a phone book. Sexaddict911 and poetic very good at promoting warm approaches, there are others like sleazy, iluminatus etc... You need to do both then focus on warm or learn how to force warm approaches. Massive approaches and rejection is not the way to learn or get good at pick up. If you want to learn and get deep into the subject read this whole post:

the-numbers-game-myth-misunderstanding-vt143838.html

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Funny how much sales relates to pick up isn't it?

I used to sell cars. My closing ratio was usually at around 40-50% each month. (Customers talked to vs. customers who purchased vehicles.) Now, these were all "warm leads." They came into a dealership... They wanted to buy a car. It was just a matter of whether or not I was going to be the guy that sold it to them. But even with the warm leads, I would still only capitalize on maybe 50% of my foot traffic. Which means I had 50% of people that I didn't do something right with. They rejected me as a salesman. When purchasing a car, a customer can buy the car from anywhere. All dealerships have pretty much the same cars with the same prices, they all use the same banks for financing, it was just a matter of how good the salesman was at getting inside the customers head to get them to make the decision as to why they should buy from them. (all guys have dicks... why should it be yours?) Each time I didn't sell a car to someone, (meaning I got rejected) I would always look back at the interaction, look over the specifics of the deal, and try to figure out why they didn't buy from me. (I wanted to know where I fucked up and then next time, I would make sure I didn't make the same mistake. What could I have done differently?) I would call them the next day only to find out that they bought a car from down the street. They ran into someone who was a better salesman than me. That's frustrating. And even when a deal did go well and I did sell a car, I would look back at the interaction and think of how I could have made more money. What did I say right and wrong that would allow me to capitalize more off of that one customer? Could I have asked for more money and risked them running out the door?

When I first started, I would make 100-150 bucks a car. Right before I quit and started my company, I was averaging 450-500 a car. I learned from my experiences. I learned from my successes but I learned alot more from my failures. Same thing applies to pick up. Just because you got a girls phone number, why didn't you pull her that night? If you pulled a girl the same night, why didn't you pull her friend too? You see where I'm getting at...? You can always push yourself for a little more.

My original post isn't referring to cold approach pick up vs. warm approach. Even if a girl is giving you approach invitations, it doesn't mean that you will be able to just walk over to her and fuck her brains out right then and there. Granted, I did get the occasional "lay down" where someone would come in and say "I WANT THAT ONE!" and buy it. Same thing happens with girls on occasion. Most times, however, you still have to build some comfort and establish the logistics. I remember my sales manager telling me that "Selling cars is exactly like picking up a girl at a bar... You've gotta them to like you before you can fuck them." Just like pick-up, there are several things that have to happen with a customers mind and they make a decision to buy from you. The same with women, they have to have certain things happen in their brain before they fuck you. If you fuck up somewhere and don't fuck the girl, you got rejected.

So what I was really referring to was the fact that just because you make a mistake and you didn't "win," you will always have that experience (success or rejection) to reflect back upon. But if all you ever have is small successes and never want anything more, you will never get the girls that you want. If I would get down on myself anytime I lost a deal or was just satisfied with the "mini deals" I would get, I would never have been successful in the car business. However, since I took the time to reflect back on each deal and learn from my mistakes, I was able to gradually become more and more successful. The same thing happens with women or really anything in life. It's all about how hard and far you are willing to push yourself and risk losing and being rejected. But either way, win or lose, you have gained new knowledge for next time.

Not every customer is going to buy from you. Not every girl is going to fuck you. But figure out why they didn't and THAT is how you learn.

For the body language, focus your time and efforts on:

• 1. Girls that eye fuck you back.
  
  2. Girls who keep on looking at your crotch area.
  
  3. Girls who qualify themselves to you non-verbally. (Girls who roll their hips. Girls who turn their backs on you and then jut out their asses and then face you again. Girls who tuck in their stomachs and jut out their boobies. Girls who press their boobs on your elbow. Girls who get close and then bump you with their ass, and so on.)
  
  4. Girls who do nice things for you and other people when you're around.

But as Majikal observes, these are not guarantees that you can f-close the girl at once. You'll need to go through the push-pull phase of the f-close. It's like a Tango dance; close the distance and kino the girl (or the girl does the closing the distance and kino) and then pull back. Repeat and rinse until the girl is so horny she can no longer take it.

Some girls will require a longer push-pull phase while some will have a faster push-pull phase.

For general strategies, there can be a lot. You can pimp up your cock area though so the girl will keep on looking at your crotch.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

The best way to get good at this is through 5 things:

Learning to start conversations with girls.

Learning to Keep them going.

Learning to close/escalate.

Learning the right material. Note: If they make it sound more complicated than having an interaction where you show interest and lead then don't listen.

Having general life done up well; career, friends, health, grooming, fashion, passions etc.

Rejection is meaningless so therefore its nothing to consider.

In fact rejection is the incorrect terminology.

Focus on success and fun never rejection. I'd rather analyse one success than one failure. Sure notice what happens in your rejections but don't read into them too much because AT BEST all you''l have to look at is what went wrong.

PU is mainly to do with belief, so focusing on your successes will reinforce your belief you are attractive and get bitches.

Stay away from the weird side of PU.

If you are "content" with small success, you will never seek bigger successes. Because you are already content. And unless you are willing to risk rejection when you want and accept the fact that you suck and you did something wrong vs thinking "I'm the shit, they all just suck" when you DO get rejected, you will keep getting less than you could actually be getting if you would instead just improve yourself.

Should you harp on rejections? No. But you should always learn from them. I'm saying don't see rejection as a negative thing.

Small successes are the building blocks to the big one.

You have to condition yourself to success especially if you have known failure a lot. When the pupils of the eyes of a woman dilates while she's eye fucking you back, that's a small success that will lead to penis in the vagina. Of course, if you're still a noob, you'll have to learn how to isolate her next so you can bounce her to your place.

If you're not having fun in the interaction while always thinking about how to get your penis in her vagina, your body language will convey impatience, neediness, frustrations when she pushes and pulls, and all of the unattractive traits that will mess up your f-close.

Being laid back cannot be faked. You have to ingrain this in yourself.

If you enjoy the moment and look at the small things where you're succeeding at towards the f-close, then you'll always convey a confident, fun vibe instead of thinking about: "Am I keeping my feet apart parallel to my shoulder?," "Am I inflecting the tone of my voice mirroring her high pitch? Damn. I should keep my voice low," and all that shit.

That's how it should be done. Succeed and have fun. Failure is only good for the first part to get your butt kicked and learn the basics of body language fast.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Very true. However, if you just look at the "success" of say... getting a girls number for example. And that is the most success you see. And you are content with it. You never get anything after that. Just a shit ton of "Jessica"s in your phone...

Unless you look back at it and see where you went wrong, you will continue just pulling numbers and getting nothing afterwards.

Yep. I agree. That's why we're teaching noobs how to make girls horny.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Understanding is an unfathomable task.

I never said be content. But getting rejected doesn't get you good at this. Its just a fact of cold approach.

What makes you good is the successes and experiences. Don't even think about rejection.

But then again you would make it more difficult or seem harder because you do boot-camps and you're own 'method' which makes you bias.

I have nothing to gain from my help. Just go out, speak to girls and fucking go for it.

In short: Getting rejected lots doesn't make you good but its what will inevitably happen.

EDIT: A $1000 for this advice hahahaha! you make chatting up girls seem hard and boring. Its not even rejection.

Rejection/Reject, according to Google, means to "Dismiss as inadequate, inappropriate, or not to one's taste.
". But humans and human interaction is far too complex to say it was 'rejection', just 'not now', the amount of girls I've spoken to who 'rejected' me, only to end up speaking or even fucking a different night in the same club.

Its always on.

The best way to get good at this? Speak to girls and go for it. You'll figure out the rest without giving your money to this guy.

I feel like many people just read the title and not your post, because I've read like 3 posts telling you why to stop caring about rejection, lol.

Thanks for this post, it's so true. Now it's just time for me to apply it.

_________________
My Journal (from AFC to MPUA, still a work in progress)

DIY learning usually takes a longer time and much money if you factor in the opportunity costs and the like. Meanwhile, a battle-tested, experienced mentor can point out some things to you face-to-face in seconds that you have never realized in DIY for months or years.

I can discern that Majikal has some field skills that we can't really see very well online. You can't know everything or do-it-yourself everything.

But if you have extra cash tucked under your bed, I would recommend spending it first on the Chief. Some PUA field mentors though like Steve Jabba are not that good in explaining concepts clearly like Majikal does. So if you still have something left, it would be fun to visit Majikal or learn seduction dance from Skills360.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html