I had a pretty severe case of oneitis, all trough high school i was trying to get closer to a girl just to end up in a friendzone. The problem escalated when we booth choose the same college. For over 6 years(4 years of high school and 2 years of college) i was stuck there. Then i dropped out of college and experienced a severe case of closing in, i basically had no contact with people outside my schooling so when that was taken from me i just kind of shut myself off completely. It took almost a year and some very heavy insisting from my parents(mother especially) for me to seek psychiatric help. So i went to group therapy and started working on myself. It was at the group therapy that they finally convinced me that my love is not some kind of a defect that will make others sick if i showed it to them(i genuinely believed that). So i started going out and trying to hit on girls(without much success, my opening was mostly successful but then i would just freeze out and not have a clue what to do next.) And then i discovered MM and pickup community and realized what a pathetic AFC i was. Anyway back to the topic, that girl i was talking about, it is rely strange. I felt somehow drawn to her but i could not actually see myself getting sexual with her. But now that i was out of the web and could look at things clearly i see that i was not rely drawn to her because of her looks. While she had a pretty face she was at best HB7, she was small, was always white due to being anemic, like she will pass out any time and generally had not that feminine vibe. I was actually actively pursued by a HB9 in the 4-th grade(and i taught she was not rely attracted, silly me). So what drawn me to this girl so much. I just realized, i have a cousin i loved like a sister(my father had a falling out with her mother,his sister some time ago so we are not seeing each other so much anymore). And now that i look i see that that girl bears a striking resemblance to my cousin, it was not rely sexual attraction between us, rather a misplaced sibling love because she resembled my cousin so much, that is why i could not see things getting sexual between us. DO any of you have this kind of experience?

PS:hope this was not TL DR.

Keep on working- you made serious steps but self improvement is something that never stops. Soon you'll see things clear out for you. Keep someone close to advise you- find a good teacher or a mentor. Insert (real)spirituality in your life, look for answers on important and fundamental questions. And use your MM material to score couple of girls(or even one, if she's special enough to stick with her). This will help you see the true dimensions of things.

I wish the best.

Thanks man, i have been trying to do just that, i asked about it here on the forums, i joined on the forum back home too(it needs Admin approval which i am yet to get) and even applied to the PUA seminar, just to meet ppl to sarge with. For me lack of wingman is a huge handicap, i know some ppl advocate sarging alone but it has not worked out very well for me(that may change as i develop my inner game a bit), simply going out alone means that i just have to hit on the girls to have any kind of good time, and although this can seem even beneficial that means that my inner game is very very weak, and it shows. Simply being out with someone, and knowing that we are going to have a good time no matter what reduces my fear of rejection significantly. Sure we may not score tonight(greens must pass trough this phase no, there is even a specific term for it in the community) but we are going to have fun. When i go out alone i just feel pathetic(that is the feeling i just cant get rid of) and a single flush out is enough to totally break my game.

OK, then look for a wing. I guess it won't be hard to find one or two(.....assuming you're writing from some major city, no?)




But a wing is not a mentor, it's a friend/PUPartner. I mean write down ten disciplines you'd like to follow, choose one or two of them and look for a person who's teachings go deeper than the discipline itself. To make it more clear, I'm a painter in my profession and also I am a Martial Artist(among other things). Both disciplines(and especially Martial Arts) have led me to people who's teachings were far deeper than the mainstream superficial stuff you see on TV and read on magazines. Concentrate yourself, find a meaning. That's what I'm saying and of course the PUA seminar is good if you feel you need it but you get what I really mean. Managing to score a woman is one thing, but offering her a wonderful person for her to sit next to and enjoy is another. Cultivate both, I guarantee you won't lose.

Yeah man, when i first decided to begin actually going out my strategy was to approach a girl and say "hey beauty can i buy you a drink?" and i rely taught it would work and that i was a genius lol. Thank heavens i did not actually used it cause i would be flushed out from the set before i knew what hit me(even worse if she was to refuse i was intending to call her on being insecure or something, i forgot all about that part later). Thankfully my first opener was in fact canned PUA routine (the one with a pen and a block of paper that you use to make a stick sketch of a girl) although i did not know it back then, it was just some local guy copycatting, so i was not flushed out as badly as i could have been(rather nicely told to leave). First thing that actually worked for me was"hey do i look fat in this shirt" which, considering that i had over 300 lbs at the time kinda made sense. Of course my complete lack of kino, not building rapport and actually buying girl a drink kinda messed up the whole thing, but i did get to dance with her which is more than i ever did before.