| I've noticed that often applying the uninvested/distant strategy to girls you haven't f-closed yet doesn't always work. I've noticed this in multiple cases, but the most recent one happened last night for me. I met a girl last week (HB7), lots of IOIs at daygame, did day 2/date last night, k closed early in the night, went to coffee shop, talked for ~3 hours total. I made a mistake in that once at coffee we sat on opposite sides of the table, and the physical contact de-escalated, even though the conversation was going very well. By the end of it I was taking her home to "show her my (niche hobby gear)", and she flaked with a "I have to wake up for class early tomorrow, I should head for the bus stop to go home". As we started walking to the stop, I offered to drive her home (AFCish), and she was indecisive when I asked what she preferred, so I turned us around and went home. On the way to my place (~10 mins) I started escalating rapidly with heavy touching, making out, etc. When we got to my place I offered her a tour of my house again (I rent a room in a weird ass house), and this time she accepted. Once we got to my room she agreed to sex without any hesitation or LMR. Afterward she asked to meet up again and thanked me for a good night, and I drove her home.
Here's where I went against PUA regulations:
1. Not once did I neg this girl (including first meeting). If I have, it was subconscious and I didn't notice. I generally kept my comments about her sparse and mildly complimentary (no pedestal or ass kissing, but I was nice to her).
2. Needyness/AFC by trying to change her mind to get her back to my place once she decided to take the bus back.
3. Bought her tea before we had sex.
4. Offered to/drove her home.
At the same time, I'm completely de-invested. She's moving away in a month and I'm seeing another girl on Thursday. I wasn't outcome dependent at all. I read her as interested and just assumed it in my interactions, so I generally maintained very high confidence through the interaction.
However I feel like if I followed a lot of the mainstream PUA rules to the dot I wouldn't have f-closed. Showing a total lack of persistence can be a beta trait too, imo. The truth is, women you haven't slept with/that aren't super attached to you, will not knock down your door to sleep with you if you show no persistence. I've never had sex with a girl without her explicit consent and being sober, but I think backing off right away in other interactions shows weakness/insecurity "oh you don't want to go back to my place? wait you're right you should do what you want". I almost always get some kind of resistance in the beginning (girl I k-closed before goes for hug instead of kiss on day 2, I kiss her anyways, or another girl pulls slightly away when i start putting my arm around her for about 5 mins, before she starts doing it herself, etc). I stay respectful and if I see they are very clearly not comfortable then I stop (though this almost never happens, since I don't escalate unless I see interest, and when I don't see any I just cut my losses and de-escalsate the interaction to friendzone and disengage politely). However in the end, once they stop resisting things like the kisses, or arm around waist, they start doing it themselves even more enthusiastically than I started.
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CHAT
