Hey all.

As I said I would in this thread:

ending-a-15-month-relationship-vt162473.html

I broke up with my girlfriend today. It was, as expected, absolutely brutal. She had no idea it was coming and was/is so in to me.

As much as I care for her, and want her to feel sad for as little as possible, I know that her happiness is no longer in my hands and I am not responsible for the support system of friends and relatives she has. I can only hope they are good to her.

With that said, I need your advice. It's clear to me that I have not heard the last from her; I left hers an hour or so ago and already I have messages and missed calls from her.

How do I deal with this over the coming days/weeks? Obviously I don't want to hurt her any more, and I understand that texts and calls are to be expected, but to be honest I do not want this to go on forever, which I fear it might. She is clingy and needy.

Any advice would be so helpful, thanks.

Take a deep breath. If you actually do care for the person you just let go, this is the hardest part. It's the hardest part because you know she is hurting, and likely part of the dynamic of your relationship was helping the other person when they are hurting.

That being said, you thought the decision through. Hopefully you delivered the message clearly. Most people will advise simply doing your best to distract yourself from the phone calls and text messages. Now that you broke up with her and notified her of your intentions face to face, if you do slip up and answer her, you can do it via text or email. That gives you a good chance to proofread what you write and make sure that you don't insinuate the wrong thing, or misspeak in any way about your feelings.

If you do slip up, and I have slipped in the past during this part, I told the girl if she loved me or cared for me as much as she says she does, that she will understand that I want her to let me go. It should take a few days and she should show signs of improvement. There will still be lapses, like when she goes someplace you used to frequent, or certain days of the year come along. But it will get better.

Stay strong brother.