Right I have gotten myself in a pickle - I seem to have really bad oneitis for a girl who I was going out with recently. Quick back story - we dated for a short period, we clicked, I mean really clicked, I hadn't felt like that with a girl in years. Then before it really got started it finished because she didn't like my past - she found out from my own big stupid mouth that I cheated on an old girlfriend - and that was that.

So I started gaming other girls, been out on about 3 dates, K closed all of them, could have F closed two of them but just didn't feel like it (sex for me has never just been a throwaway thing and I have to actually click with the girl in some way). I have been out with my friends a lot, keeping my hobbies up to date and meditating - basically doing all I can to keep busy. I also deleted this girls number and text history from my phone. Last thing she said to me was 'give me a call sometime and if you ever want to go walking in the hills you know where I am'. Which was shit because it leaves that slight .... possibility in my mind.

Why is this bad, because a) I am literally waking up each day and she is the first thing on my mind and b) because I know how to get in touch with her if I really wanted to. I can actually feel my no contact enforcement cracking (just under two weeks now), I know I am near her place of residence on thursday for a meeting and I am so bloody close to getting in touch with her to see if she wants to meet for a quick drink it is untrue.

Bar punching myself in the face or drinking a lot of booze to render myself literally unable to get in touch with her, can anyone else suggest anything to help out cos I'm going nuts with this.

Bro just see her that's not oneitis! She obviously likes you

Before I say any of this, I want to stress that I am in no way a guru on pickup or anyone to model yourself after.

Having said that, I have a history of one of the worst cases of oneitis to ever plague mankind.

Long story short, I was a sobbing, seven year wasting, omegamale in the extreme.

You must realize, after a certain point, romance becomes creepy. It's no longer writing love letters and tossing pebbles at her window. It becomes writing sad songs and scaling a tree in the middle of the night to literally knock on her window because she won't respond to the pebbles. I'm not saying you are at this point yet, but if you step back and look at the situation, you'll see that the best you can hope for is mutual respect and loyalty and a marriage with kids and a white picket fence and memoires that tell the story of your whirlwind romance.

Forgive me for being so cynical, but it sounds like this woman has hold of your manhood and maybe played her own game with your mind.

As the saying goes, GFTOW. Ask yourself this question: With something like 7 billion people on the planet and roughly half of them being women, that's like 3.5 billion females on the planet, assume half of them are children (leaving 1.75 billion adult women), assume half are married (leaving 875 million adult single women) and then finally assume that half of those are not attractive or have bad personalities...

Is this woman so unique and special that nearly 500 million attractive, single women with excellent personalities can't compete?

The odds are against her, and I don't want to seem rude (so forgive me if it seems such) she is probably not even a 9.5 lookswise or personalitywise.

I got over oneitis with my seven year relationship with my high school sweetheart. Trust me, there is a point somewhere along the timeline that the woman of your dreams will become your every waking nightmare. Call it the seven year bitch or whatever, but they change. Everyone changes. Sounds like she pidgeonholed you as a cheater because you were honest about your past. I'm not a big fan of the word should, but I digress...She shouldn't be so concerned with what happened before and should focus on having a blast in the present. The present, the gift, the pre-sent gift that you have to enjoy. Take a look around you right now. Is she with you in the present? Let her go before you build her a shrine and a doll made of hair. It's better this way. She may work her way back into your life later organically, but if you continue to obsess you might disappoint yourself with just how ironically creepy romance can become.

That's my $0.02

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That's my $0.02

-Bluesy

Hey man, you should never feel ashamed, or feel that wanting to only give sex to a girl that you genuinely click with is a bad thing, cuz it really isn't. I was the same...

I had terrible oneitis. Hell, I still do now. I remember first seeing her, what, 5/6 years ago now. She rode a horrible two stroke scooter and lived in the worst part of town. But she was genuine, honest, beautiful. I remember her pink hair highlights like it was yesterday. She even texts me randomly today, out of the blue.

But I wish it was more than good friends. Oh so much.

I am not "stuck in the friendzone" because I have never told her how much I really like her. That might be because if we remain friends then I am more likely to see her/ spend time with her, and maybe this thought is destroying my judgement. Seriously, I have GFTOW'd ten times over, but still she is there in my mind. So I understand your frustration and your pain, but that text you got from her dude- Get that communication back!!! It might seem like she might be leading you on in your mind, but everyone else within the community, it's not that. She must like you enough to say that. Learn from my inadequacy. Trust me, contact her. Even if it means slipping into the AFC ways (ONLY A LITTLE BIT!) then it really could work out well for you man!

Go for it- Don't make my mistake. You said that you were going out with her 'recently'... try friendzoning YOUSELF from a girl for 6 years! It's near suicide! Please do let us all know how you get on

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If You Want To Pick Up A Girl,

Keep Your Back Straight And Lift With Your Knees.

You need to be gaming other girls, I mean a lot of other girls. While your doing this hit the gym build up your body which in return will build up your confidence.

i think you shouldnt go by her house for a QUICK drink that seems really desperate from you. cool on the part that you havnt got in touch with her. but the truth is she left a mesage sayin here i am if you want to get in contact with me so sadly the ball is in your court. i would get in touch with her but i would wait from 1 and a half month to 2. and then call her saying to do whatever you want to do. i emphasis 2 months because itll help you overcoming your oneitis for this girl. maybe after the 2 months you forget a bit bout her and youll be like more chillax and say ill call this girl to see what she up too. if she blows you off after 2 months itll be much easier to forget her already. and if she continues to see you better. theres nothing wrong with going a bit after her as long as you dont have the desperate frame of mind you have right now. so give her some time, whatever time it takes for you to be more relaxed, if not itll show and she will blow in your face

Whoa, I was NOT thinking of going to her house for a quick drink. I was simply in the area around where she lives for a meeting on thursday and was going to drop her a text saying I am in the area late tonight and did she fancy a quick drink before I headed home? It's been two weeks since last contact and I am not convinced I can last any longer than this - I can feel myself cracking under my own pressure.

i understand bro, but never go for a quick something, its just too i wanna see you quick! you know what i mean. i strongly suggetst to give her more than a month, hang in there bro.

Don't crack, thats your challenge, even if you do crack, you will be sorry later! Atleast thats the case if she is a manipulative one. Let us know what you will do. Btw i've been ignoring one for 3 weeks now, also feel like cracking, but I keep reminding myself the reason i'm doing this and reading posts here, is like telling myself, don't crack, and its working.

I don't think she is manipulative, she actually strikes me as incredibly honest. I just guess there are some things about her past which she has trouble with in other men. I just wish I could make her see that my past is my past, that's what really bothers me.

Go for it dude! Love awaits. People forgot that this is the reason, why we read this stuff. In the end, we want to find one, we click together with. Dont worry about your past, when you get the chance, you can tell your honest opinion and she will accept you, when the time is perfect(this kind of stuff doesnt matter, if you dont screw up the seduction). Play it safe and win.

Good luck.

Yeah man! you should go for her and let her know how you feel about her. Tell her that you couldn't go back to the past and change what had happened. Be honest with her, and let her know that you're not the same person since you met her. Ask her for a second chance to show her what a great man you are. Girls like emotional shits and honesty. Try to see it from her perspective and then you will understand more about her. Good Luck man!!!

I don't know if enough details were given, but sure, contact her and take her out on your terms... Don't know if the "quick drink" is the best idea, but if there's nothing else, it's worth a try. Don't mention anything that happened in the past, and please, please, don't "tell her how you feel" ... I feel like that is a terrible idea. When you're hanging out with her, if you decide to, try to get a good read on her and figure out what she wants from you (hopefully your dick)... Obviously what I mean is pay attention to her body language, and if she's flirting with you or not, etc. If she is, escalate, if you feel like you're hanging out with her an you're getting the "we're hanging out as friends" vibe, then the hell with this bitch! Her loss! At least you'll have comfort knowing that you tried, and that's all you can do.