Okay, we started casually dating over a year ago but I was going through a bad break up. I was seeing other women so I wasnt always available to her and would sometimes ignore her. Three months go by and I pulled a ljbf on her. She called a few weeks later when she was seeing someone but immediately dumped him to be with me so we started dating. 3 months go by and I dumped her. She called me again 3 weeks later to be my fb while she went on dates with other dudes, I was fine with this and she always waits a month before sex so this is all it wouldve been. This girl is very successful, smart, attractive, and independent with very high self confidence.

After a couple weeks of being an fb I started acting really needy saying I wanted to be with her etc... she kept saying she can't trust me with her feelings and she needs someone who wants long term. I was needy for a few more weeks knowing that I was pushing her away but of course I ignored my instinct when I was out drinking. We stopped talking and just recently she started texting me but I was juggling three women and she was dating a few guys after just getting out of a three month relationship with another guy. I ignored her first text and when she texted me again two weeks later I told her we should catch up over drinks. We hooked up and have been together everyday since last Wednesday. On sunday we decided to start a real relationship where I'm actually emotionally invested (which I truly am) but she still doesn't know if she can trust me yet. We are moving very fast and there's talk of moving in together and I want this but I need to know what you guys think. My friends are all afc.

Should I smother her and show her that I truly do care this time or should I stay busy without her so she misses me. I'm afraid that might reinforce her belief of me not being emotionally stable. Sorry so long but I want you to have all the details.

Btw, we are in our early thirties and we both want the same things in life. This girl is marriage material and that's what I'll be shooting for. I just don't want to screw it up again. She has always come back to me and never to anyone else. She got divorced 1.5 years ago and has no problem meeting guys as I have no problem meeting women. We are both super not jealous of each others past and we can both go out separately and still be perfectly fine with each other.

Also, big props to the community. I've been a forum stalker for a while and this site as well as others has helped me out tremendously over the past 10 years. I've hade much success with 9s and true 10s and I'm probably a 5/6 thin build. Once again thanks and I wouldnt have made it this far without you all.

I would definitely say slow down on the moving in thing. A lot of the fun of dating is getting to know each other, although you guys have been around each other for awhile you've always been juggling women so there's a lot she still doesn't know about you(and vice versa), which keeps the relationship fresh. Moving in to quick is bound to destroy that and you'll end up in the same routine which is also a relationship killer. By all costs DO NOT SMOTHER HER, it lowers your value to her drastically. You should stay busy which lets her know you have things going on besides her but for the important things you need to be there, this shows that your invested emotionally. Whatever you do don't be needy, take things slow there's no need to rush and good luck.

Thanks for the response. The moving in thing was just talked about. We wouldn't do that for a few months or so. I have been expressive about my feelings and at rirst she was very receptive but now I feel like her logic is kicking in. We have sex at least 3 times a day and we make out a lot but she seems like she's becoming distant. I backed off yesterday and met up with a chick friend for drinks and she texted to ask me to come over after so I did. I tried not to be too affectionate and just kissed her on the forehead when she saw me and this made her freak out a little. She asked if I was losing interest again and I of course said no, you know I'm in this. I think tonight I'll do the same as she has plans with her girlfriends anyway. These girlfriends do not know about me yet and she won't tell them because of me breaking her heart in the past. These friends of hers will tell her she's making a mistake. On sunday she told me she's sort of in love with me and asked me to be her bf but she hasn't brought this up since. I think I need to back off a little to make her miss me. Yesterday she asked me to go with her to her mothers day lunch with her and her mom and she's coming with me to my brothers on sat to meet my family. Am I crazy? Should I treat her like a girl that I'm just banging and sort of into? I think I should.

I think she's really invested in you, but she is afraid she's going to get hurt so she freaks out when she realizes she's being to affectionate. But she wants you to meet her mom so that's a really good sign. Keep doing what your doing because its working and its obvious she's going to eventually(my guess is sooner than later) get to the point about making it official but let her reach that on her own. Overall though your doing fine, your in control which is where you want to be in the relationship.

See that's the thing though, she's physically affectionate but not emotionally. I'd like to think that I have the upper hand in the relationship but I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her. If I tell her how I feel she freezes up and if I'm distant she freaks out. This girl was never super open with her feelings but when I'd ask her in the past she would say she's crazy about me. I haven't asked her lately and I'm avoiding it but I don't think it will be the same answer. Maybe she still has feelings for her ex or something and she's comparing me to him? What can I do to get her out of that if that's the case? It just doesn't feel right at this point. I've been disconnecting a bit and waiting for her to call/text first and it has sort of been working but its not easy. She just called while I was out to dinner and didn't leave a message so I called her when I left and didn't get an answer. I didn't leave a message either but I feel like I should send a text or something but I'm trying to stay strong. We hung out last night and it seemed okay. We had sex twice last night and twice this morning but it still seems as if she's missing from this relationship or whatever it is.

First of all you need to stop living so relentlessly in your head. Your feelings are being controlled by conjecture and "What-ifs?" Not by facts. Don't let your emotional mind run away with you.

Do not come on too strong with telling her how you feel etc. Let her come to you! At all costs! This is the biggest thing I have learned through a succession of failed short term relationships. No matter how much you want to open up and tell her you love her and recreate a scene from a Hollywood movie, perhaps in the rain, DO NOT. It never goes the way it goes in your head, trust me. In fact, it usually goes in the opposite direction.

You're over-analysing everything about this relationship and it's making you feel insecure. You fucked twice last night and twice in the morning, where exactly is the problem? You seem to have an unspecified feeling or suspicion that she isn't emotionally invested. You do not have concrete evidence of her not wanting to be with you.

Don't even bother fretting about her punctuality with answering calls or texting. Women are always leaving it in a handbag, or just forgetful, my ex used to type out a message to me and forget to hit "send" and it'd just sit there. There are so many explanations for why she hasn't texted or answered and if its because she doesn't want to know you anymore, you will already be aware of that before you called.

But maybe you could try just talking to her about it, be open and honest, sounds like a bit of a power struggle going on.

EDIT: Talking about it does not mean declaring your undying love for her or mentioning the L-bomb whatsoever.

You guys are probably right. Its all in my head. She just texted me to come meet up with her and her girlfriends who she wasn't going to say anything to. She said she told them we were talking again and that they were happy about it. I've met these girls before and I fugured it whould take some work to win them over but apparently that's not the case. There were times when we hung out and these girls practically begged me not to hurt their friends heart again. It's weird because I never knew she was that into me because of the same things that are going on now. I texted back that I was out to dinner and my ringer was off and that I'm going to bed soon because I'm tired. She said to sleep at her house and she left a key for me under the mat. I'm now texting from her bed about to pass out to be woken up to her tits in my face. What the fuck am I complaining about?! I think the lack of response on my part, if not helping, is at least making me feel more in control. Thanks for the reinforcement.

- You can’t blame her dude. She wants to have a serious commitment, and she just want to make sure that she didn’t chose a wrong guy to trust. If you really love her, show her that you are serious about her and let her feel that she have nothing to worry about because you are there for her.

Update just in case anyone else has a similar issue... I think she was worried that her friends would disapprove of us and it was really bothering her. She told me how she pulled all of her friends aside last night and told them about us. All of them seemed to take it really well and they were "team us". after I picked her up from downtown last night she seemed so much more invested. I think me backing off definitelt helped too. I was still showing that I was in it but I slowed down with the needy feelings and tried being more confident that she is in fact into me. This had a very positive effect as she started saying the things i wanted to hear. The way she was last night was like night and day compared to the last three days.

My advice to anyone having similar issues- don't be needy and stop asking her if she's having second thoughts. she needs some space but she also needs to know that you are in it. I knew I shouldn't have asked about second thoughts but when you're in your own head too much things just come out without processing them.

All of your advice is golden! I used most of it and so far it's working great. Thanks everyone.

Glad to hear everything is going good keep us updated

Okay so everything has been going well for the past three weeks but she has this guy that she hangs out with once a week. She dated this guy about a year ago and I sort of stole her from him at that time. That was the second time we dated about 8 months ago. She tells me they are just friends and supposedly tells me everything they do together. When she asks me if I'm okay with it I say that's fine, I'm glad you guys are still good friends. It's starting to bother me but I think it may be just me overthinking. She invites him out with us but it seems like she doesn't touch me when he's around. I asked if he knows about us but she said they don't talk about their relationships. Is this a red flag? Btw her sister cheats on her husband constantly but my girl thinks its disgusting. She says she's only cheated on one bf when she was 18.

Lately it seems she doesn't want sex as much as before. When we made out in the past she was almost instantly sopping wet and ready to f. Now I have to push for it. She actually wears a shirt to bed so I don't get turned on. We still have sex daily but I want it to be less of a hassle. Is she losing interest in me? Is she banging this other guy? Did she have much better sex after we last dated a few months ago? Is it because she just started birth control a two weeks ago? She says she loves my d and how it feels but she never comes during sex. I know she has squirted during sex recently for the first time but it wasn't with me. Wish I didn't know that.

She wants me to move in with her and tells all her friends about me, she invites me everywhere except when she's one on one with a girlfriend or guyfriend but she always invites me over after, we sleep together everynight. She told me that she told the guy she was seeing that she's in a serious relationship and he said he was happy for her. I said that was really nice of him. She asked if I would have a problem if she remained friends with him but I responded with would you be okay if I stayed friends with one of the girls I was seeing? She said no and asked me to never cheat on her.

She tells me she loves me and wants to get married and shit but I'm not in if she's not turned on by me... unless I can fix that.

I know that typical advise is to play it cool, be confident, ect. However, in some instances, depending on the girl, being too cool and aloof in a LTR can make her think you don't care as much about her as she'd like you to.

If this guy is bugging you and you're seeing some separation in her actions, take action. Tell her in a confident, polite way that you notice she wears a shirt to bed instead of snuggling her nice titties against you and that you want that back. Tell her you feel a little bit bothered by the time she spends with the ex and that you want to be cool with it, but feel like you're not as cool with it as you'd like to be.

If you can do this without all out becoming AFC, it can illustrate to her that you are possessive of her, but that you're strong enough to control those jealous feelings. Knowing you're possessive of her and that she belongs to you can make some women feel more like they belong, safe, etc. And if she feels that way, the rewards are pretty good.

If you can pull this off, and she reacts well, then you have a keeper. If she reacts poorly, then it could be a sign that she is pulling away, and maybe is farther gone than she is letting on.