I have a concern about dating women and my health. I guess this could apply to anyone with a lifelong disease such as diabetes. I am a type 1 diabetic in my mid 20s and have had the disease for 15 years. I have been dating a HB9 for about a year now, and she gets hit on all the time by AFCs. We have a relationship now. She is a few years younger.

I feel very stable in this relationship and follow the general guidelines of PUA. My concern is this, however: Diabetes has many (sometimes inevitable) complications, and one day (even though I take care of myself) I might have nerve damage or something that might put me in a position where I need to be taken care of, have numbness in the feet, need a wheelchair, ect. Right now I work out and maintain alot of muscle mass, and I am a decent looking guy.

But what happens if my relationship grows with her (or someone else for that matter) and one day I have certain disabilities? Even if I maintain the right attitude, am able to have sex (Viagra works for diabetics even with nerve problems lol) is it inevitable I'll get cheated on? Or will a good woman generally stick by you in the thick and thin of things?

Keep in mind she has had family members who have been through diabetes problems, so she might be used to this sort of thing. I'm just sort of concerned because of the whole male ego

*The post may be all over the place at times but its because I came to a few conclusions WHILE writing about your situation. Thinking about it gave me some perspective on life, and I thank you for that sir.

This is something that most of us have never faced so I’m not sure how much value my post has but here goes.

It looks like you got a good head on your shoulders and are aware of the various things happening around you. You seem to grasp reality and what might be inevitable.

There are only so many things you can control in life, which I know you are aware of, and women are at the bottom of that list. Well…people in general.

So communication becomes the bridge between reality and false hope. What is it that YOU expect in a relationship, considering your condition? Have you tempered your expectations of an ideal relationship in lieu of your condition and some of the baggage that comes with it? The reality is, you will never be able to have a “normal” relationship by “normal” standards. But what the fuck is normal anyways right?

While I say this knowing only a few friends with conditions preventing them from a “normal” life, I know every situation is different and contains different moving parts.

The common thread in all the interaction I’ve had with these friends is that they vigorously focus on the positive, coupled with seamless communication.

Feelings venture off, sex may start to tire, you may start fighting and arguing…but that’s no different from a relationship between healthy, great looking people. We can all get hit by a car regardless of whether we are in a wheelchair, or run a 10 second 100m dash. What I’m saying is, the capability to be cheated on is universal.

Like any relationship, it takes effort to keep things leveled, rational and sexually passionate. You just have to be a little more creative about it. But that’s a good thing, right?

You have an ailment, but that also makes you extremely unique and probably more down to earth than most guys who have had a lot of d-bag cultivation time. In the meantime, you’ve probably crafted out a lifestyle for yourself that requires effort, time and thought. That makes you far more mature than most people out there. That is a deciding factor for women…women that are good enough for you. Because you aren’t settling for dumbasses.

So, amidst my convoluted bantering, I think communication will put everything into realistic perspective. How does she feel about it? Do you know where she stands on all of this or are you just making the assumption that she’ll move on to “normal” people? I’ll say it again: she has the capability of cheating on you. Everybody has the capability of cheating on anybody. Married men are capable of cheating on their supermodel wives with busted interns with a decent rack. Its never an exact science, and it rarely makes sense.

So let’s embrace the fucked up, and target it before it hits us in the mouth. I say “us” because that’s not specific to anybody, its specific to everybody. Communicate, understand whats going on, and adjust accordingly. Anybody who thinks they can float through life and relationships will take a much harder fall when shit hits the fan.

We all still need to put in the effort to keep things fresh, to keep her happy, to keep yourself happy.

Riri thank you for the awesome response. I definitely know what you mean by people cheat on people because they want to and the reason can be anything on anyone. I think my only concern would be a loss of a gender role and maybe her seeing the grass is greener despite me being high status, that there are normal good looking fellas chasing her. Of course she knows there are ladies like that for me now, but say that changes? If we are still creatively intimate and (forgive me) in a healthy loving relationship should much change if I deal with the problems in a positive manner?
I don't see why not.

But will she get the same value out of a "healthy" dude that she does with you? I would guess no. And unfortunately, based on human nature, there are many instances when they may need some time off of you just to see what else is out there, and that is the same for EVERYBODY.

When she finds that you provide something deeper and healthier than your run-of-the-mill d-bag, she will understand what makes you a great person (assuming you aren't a d-bag!). And again, all of your concerns, while they seem rooted in your condition, are more black and white than you think. In the end, are they happy with you (tending to your condition and all), or are they not? If they aren't, its something you can't control except by being an amazing boyfriend that provides more value than the next guy. Do you have to work a bit harder? Of course. Does that build more character than floating through life on your looks and athletic ability? Absolutely. You bring something different to the table.

Use it to weed out shallow, idiotic people in your life. Control what you can, the rest is up for grabs and you can't blame anything for it, you'll run yourself into the ground...and that ain't PUA or alpha male or any of the things that men strive to be.

So ultimately, to answer your question, NO you should not be concerned. Fuck anybody who will use your condition as a reason to move on/venture off/be a dick. You don't have time to deal with people like that.