Need advice on being "motivated" in a conversation.



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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2013 10:25 pm 
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I have always considered myself good at conversing when I really want to. Regardless of gender, looks, and the likes. My problem is that most of the time, I find people so boring after an approach. It's almost as though I can't focus because my boredom tells me, "all right, this isn't interesting. Let's move on." I start making less eye contact, my replies become short and un interesting, and I become almost zoned and bored in general. I know I have the ability to converse really well when I am genuinely motivated to exchange words. So, you can probably imagine how this can hurt my ability to converse. My question is, what is a good way for me to practice finding the motivation in me to genuinely take interest in a conversation and maintain that focus? 8) thanks guys.


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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2013 10:27 pm 
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I have always considered myself good at conversing when I really want to. Regardless of gender, looks, and the likes. My problem is that most of the time, I find people so boring after an approach. It's almost as though I can't focus because my boredom tells me, "all right, this isn't interesting. Let's move on." I start making less eye contact, my replies become short and un interesting, and I become almost zoned and bored in general. I know I have the ability to converse really well when I am genuinely motivated to exchange words. So, you can probably imagine how this can hurt my ability to converse. My question is, what is a good way for me to practice finding the motivation in me to genuinely take interest in a conversation and maintain that focus? 8) thanks guys.
Caffeine.
I'm not joking.


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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2013 10:37 pm 
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Caffiene works only to an extent. Sometimes though I usually find myself as a boring conversationalist only because I'm lacking confidence at the moment. Try role models, people who even are in movies that seem outta proportion. I use (and don't comment)

Jack Sparrow (For a tad of sarcasm and practicing hand gestures)
Tony Stark (Smart-Ass, party person)

Get things to hype up your mood.

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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2013 10:40 pm 
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Caffiene works only to an extent. Sometimes though I usually find myself as a boring conversationalist only because I'm lacking confidence at the moment. Try role models, people who even are in movies that seem outta proportion. I use (and don't comment)

Jack Sparrow (For a tad of sarcasm and practicing hand gestures)
Tony Stark (Smart-Ass, party person)

Get things to hype up your mood.

I actually like that idea a lot. Not only does it make things fun for yourself, I like the idea of being in control of myself to the extent where I can change my persona completely whenever I want. Great advice.


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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2013 10:48 pm 
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Think of making action, rather than the reaction so to speak or end result.

LIt's all about making action.


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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2013 11:02 pm 
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Glad I could help man

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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2013 11:51 pm 
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One strategy that works well for me when I'm not talkative, is a warmup with friends/girls I'm not interested in. When I show up to parties I tend to be on my phone and disinterested in conversations. A few hours later I inadvertently turn in to an obnoxious AMOG that won't shut up. You just need to warm up and give yourself time to become comfortable.


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PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 10:10 pm 
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If you find people boring ... that means you are boring :p. You must learn to self amuse first. Find any way to force the fun within you ... then the person will start to have fun to.

It's pretty lame of you to have external factors to dictate if you are having fun or not. Draw that shit from within ... find ways to let loose ... people love to see others let loose. When spectators see someone let loose they recieve permission to let loose.

If you want to learn how to self amuse ... lower your standards of what is fun to you. Stop being so self conscious of others if you are having fun or not ... YOU decide to have fun. You are in control of your emotions not your environment :p. Why would you let others dictate if you are having fun or not? lol so weak :p ... just kidding ^_^

The master of self amusment :p!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 9kOMn5kwII


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