Cannot forget about ex girlfriend



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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:20 am 
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the story goes like this, 6 years ago when I was just out of high school I met the most perfect girl, we immediately clicked and it was great, once college rolled around we were kind of far away. I ended things which goes down as one of the biggest mistakes of my life. the reason why she wont even talk to me is as we were dating her good friend was always with us, after we broke up her friend lived locally and I invited her to hang out, this did not sit well with me ex obviously, stupid and immature I know, anyways fast forward to present day and I am 25, she should be about 23 this year. I have reached out every once a year asking for coffee, or reiterating that its been a long time and things have changed, I just cant seem to break her, and to add insult to injury the girl that I am currently seeing is becoming serious and in the back of my head I still will never get her out of my head. I don't know what to do. any suggestions, p.s I have dated plenty of girls and I know the whole don't put her on the pedestal but honestly it was true love just college immaturity


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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:27 am 
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the story goes like this, 6 years ago when I was just out of high school I met the most perfect girl, we immediately clicked and it was great, once college rolled around we were kind of far away. I ended things which goes down as one of the biggest mistakes of my life. the reason why she wont even talk to me is as we were dating her good friend was always with us, after we broke up her friend lived locally and I invited her to hang out, this did not sit well with me ex obviously, stupid and immature I know, anyways fast forward to present day and I am 25, she should be about 23 this year. I have reached out every once a year asking for coffee, or reiterating that its been a long time and things have changed, I just cant seem to break her, and to add insult to injury the girl that I am currently seeing is becoming serious and in the back of my head I still will never get her out of my head. I don't know what to do. any suggestions, p.s I have dated plenty of girls and I know the whole don't put her on the pedestal but honestly it was true love just college immaturity
I don't want to be mean but the true love stuff is bullshit. You are only thinking of the good things with this chick but you need to really analyze the bad things. There was a reason that you broke up with her beside distance. I was in your situation a couple years ago and I went back and really thought about the bad things that happened between us and it really helped me to move on. NO GIRL IS PERFECT


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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:37 am 
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well it was more or less the freedom of dorming at college and living on my own.


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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 1:56 am 
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Hindsight is always 20-20. Take off your rose-tinted glasses and you will see everything happens for a reason. If you're not into your current girlfriend, don't mislead her and give her false hope.

It's better to be single than settle for someone you're not into.


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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 2:17 am 
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Honestly you never really forget about those "perfect" girls from your past, and it's pointless to try. Until technology advances to the point where you can selectively erase memories, you just have to take comfort in the fact that over time you'll gradually think of her less frequently and the memories will be less painful.

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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 2:22 am 
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that sounds right, thanks everyone.


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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 9:07 am 
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You need to let go my friend, this is what moving on is all about. If you live with regret, you are living in the past, holding onto it as a part of your identity - its a false identity though an identity nonetheless. Accept that things are over between you and her, AND that at the time you made a decision you felt was right - beating yourself over it now is keeping you from moving on as you are reflecting on that decision with a hindsight bias. Rather than convincing yourself that she's "the one that got away", why not look bad onto the relationship with fond memories and appreciate all you've learned through the process of it as in the end there are no mistakes if you look for the lesson in each experience. Let go, not for her, not for the sake of what you had, but for your own peace of mind and your own sanity.


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