Cold or needy?



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 Post subject: Cold or needy?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 8:33 pm 
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Basically, made out with this girl from work in the club a few times, went on a date, kissed afterwards, planned to go cinema at some point.

I ask her if shes free wednesday, no response.

A woman at work she speaks with tells me "so I heard you two are going to the cinema on wednesday!"

Ok, a little odd, but shes shit at texting fullstop.

She gets ill, I send her a text like "get better soon! x" no reply.

And now nothing.

The odd thing is, we hardly speak at work, cos im trying to keep it on the down-low, and whenever we're in a group she hardly talks when i'm there but will continue to yap when im not.

Any ideas on how to proceed?


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 Post subject: Re: Cold or needy?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 6:28 pm 
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Quote:
Basically, made out with this girl from work in the club a few times, went on a date, kissed afterwards, planned to go cinema at some point.

I ask her if shes free wednesday, no response.

A woman at work she speaks with tells me "so I heard you two are going to the cinema on wednesday!"

Ok, a little odd, but shes shit at texting fullstop.

She gets ill, I send her a text like "get better soon! x" no reply.

And now nothing.

The odd thing is, we hardly speak at work, cos im trying to keep it on the down-low, and whenever we're in a group she hardly talks when i'm there but will continue to yap when im not.

Any ideas on how to proceed?
be careful since it is work - your work might not like this if people find out for example. Anyways, if she is trying to freeze you out, which it seems like it, do it first. I think you are showing too much affection for just a few dates. Like this kisses and shit, and dating when you aren't bf/gf is ehh. I wouldn't of pushed for the movie at the cinema but rather have her come by to watch a movie and dinner (cheaper on your end anyways). Talk to her at work, you are making it weird - you dont have to be flirty, just have her enjoy your presence. So, I wouldn't text her anymore - act like nothings a big deal, but talk to her about just random shit, make her laugh. If she responds well, good - give it a few days without texting and just be in person talking to her.

If not, I say freeze her out - don't be rude to her, talk to her still and stuff and be a good person/co-worker, just drop all of the flirtatious, 'sexy' and cute stuff.

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 Post subject: Re: Cold or needy?
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 7:18 pm 
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Just to say - I never intiated any kiss, it was always her, and I always pull away first so it doesn't seem needy.

She told a few people she really likes me and stuff, though maybe that has no bearing on the situation, it makes it fucking confusing - so you reckon just cool it, just be my loud friendly self and see where it goes from there?

Plus the not talking at work thing, I do talk to her in bits, but she's too shy to reply back as everyone on our team saw us making out.


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 Post subject: Re: Cold or needy?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 5:54 pm 
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Newest update:

The girl told one of the women at work that shes not sure if shes 'ready for this' due to the fact that shes only looking for fun and isnt ready for a relationship and her last work bit on the side (i remember her saying) ended very badly.

Right - I dont want a relationship, I just want to bone her.

How do I redeem this? Please, any help would be awesome, thanks!


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 Post subject: Re: Cold or needy?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 8:12 pm 
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I would pretend i never heard anything about she not wanna have a relationship and instead go to her and tell her i would not be interested in a relationship at this point.

That puts the pressure off and she knows you are not going to be a clingy wannabe boyfriend who cant'leave her alone.


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 Post subject: Re: Cold or needy?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 8:15 pm 
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I would pretend i never heard anything about she not wanna have a relationship and instead go to her and tell her i would not be interested in a relationship at this point.

That puts the pressure off and she knows you are not going to be a clingy wannabe boyfriend who cant'leave her alone.
I'll agree with this 100%.

Quit being so fucking clingy.


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 Post subject: Re: Cold or needy?
PostPosted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 9:52 am 
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Got to agree with ya both there, I was thinking the same thing to get this thing moving haha, but yeah, next bit should be chill, but saying that i've got another question -

Why do you guys reckon that whenever she is around me in a group of people she goes so quiet and cant speak, but when shes alone with me she can, and when im 'away' from the group she starts yapping again? Is that just sexual tension or something?


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 Post subject: Re: Cold or needy?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 27, 2013 12:43 am 
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Check this out man:

Things def got weird (excuse my short hand, I'm on my phone). If things moved too quickly for her, she's def going to freeze you out. I think guys might have moved quick, and it's possible that's she's unsure what she wants to do. (However you can speculate this all you want).

Here's what my 2 cents are: I always try to avoid going to things that are typically "date-like" events, for example: movies, out for dinner at a restaurant, etc-- anything that you'll pretty much see in any chick flick. I know it's totally counter intuitive. The idea is to try and keep the stress and pressure down. Believe me, there is a lot of potential pressure on a woman when you're going on something as I overtly "date-like". I'm sure your intent is to keep it low pressure by taking her someplace public so she doesn't think you're trying to get in her pants, but there's a lot more pressure that goes on for a girl then you think when it comes to that stuff (ie do people think we are together? What happens if someone calls me his girlfriend?!" Lol)

Invite her to watch a movie at your place (in broad daylight), go play LAZER tag, bowling, fun out of the ordinary stuff and she'll respond more positively then she is now. I've even gone as far as offering a "pre-date", telling her it's not a date, it's a casual hang out in comfortable clothes, to see if we "get along" enough for ME to want to go on a date with her (notice that it's putting her in a position where I'm potentially rejecting her).

But give a day or so to cool down, don't seem eger. She'll reject you harder.

And sorry for the scattered message, can't say all I want because I'm typing on my phone. Lol


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