So I met a girl via SPAM and did a pretty decent job presenting my best self...

Been talking to her on and off for a year, now she wants to fly me out across the country to her state. However, she thinks Im some cool guy and has a nice job.


She doesn't know that:
- I live with my parents
- I cant drive (in NYC its not too uncommon for people not to have a car or license.)

Its like she has this skewed view of me and I havent been entirely honest.

She's really independent and joked "its not like you live with your parents or anything right haha?" I paused.... and before I could answer she remembered something else she wanted to say.


It's like wow this girl is amazing, personality and lookswise. She's offering to fly me. But its like I had my chance to tell her and the moment slipped.

Whats the best way of mentioning those two things to her?

Good for you man. You must of ran some good game on her.

Dude I honestly don't think any of those things are a big deal. I mean if she asks tell her the truth (depending on what the truth is). If your in college or in between jobs thats easy to explain. THe economy isn't doing well right now. I also depends how old you are cause the older you are the less and less social acceptable it is to live with your parent. You could be living with your parents, not as a dependent, just because thats how you like to live because your are close to your parents or can't afford rent in NYC (really high) and like to live in the city. It depends on what the real truth is. You never have to tell the whole truth. You can tell a variation of the truth and still be truthful or not lie.

As for not driving, I wouldn't worry about it. That common in the city. I sure that you can take a cab if she can't drive you.

If you've already lied to her about certain thing then I'd just say do your best to stay out of those area's of conversation. My best advice to you is be more secure with yourself. It seem like your looking for flaws in yourself tat she won't like.

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This is why honesty is important man. You see the problem lying gets you into? You put on a false facade of being this cool pimp guy and then suddenly bam, she realizes you're not actually.

Anyway whatever. Let's get to it shall we?

Your best bet here is to just treat it indifferently. Be honest about you living with your parent when she arrives. You can continue to lie and say no I'm just moving back for a short time to sort out some family stuff.

Or you can get yourself a room for the time she's staying here and say I'm visiting my family here, I just need my private space as well.

Whatever man there are ways around this.

That you can't drive doesn't even matter. Unless you said you can drive and lied again in which case that was stupid.

The biggest thing here is to act indifferent to it, completely normal. It's only as awkward as you make it out to be. If she likes you enough she'll forgive it if she doesn't really like you living with your parents. And if she doesn't then well, she can go live somewhere else and you can game other girls and get another one who doesn't mind you living with your parents. If it's not a problem for you it likely won't be for her. If she gives you shit about it just say "OK" indifferently and continue doing whatever you're doing. Don't let it affect you.

Peace out.

Thing is Im not young! Im 27. She's young and I guess looked up to me as some super cool self-established dude.


Thanks for all the advice. I was thinking about maybe telling a (DHV filled) story that involves getting back home to be there for my family. Not sure. Just something to bring it up.

When the subject is brought up I thought I might say: Well my parents are awesome and Im thankful for having them there. NYC is a hard city to crack and the rent ridiculously high.



I also feel like maybe I dont need to mention both things in the same convo either.

Im telling her no no, but she keeps persisting. Its been getting to my mind like crazy.

Is there any reason you actually need to tell her you live with your parents? Why not just say you live with roommates? It's not a total lie.

But in the meantime you have to get a job and move out... if you can't trust yourself to do that before she wants to come to your place, then yeah the best thing to do would be just tell the truth

As for the driving thing I don't see what the big deal is about that, it's pretty common knowledge that people in NYC don't drive. I would just tell her if the subject comes up.

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Update:

She's cool with it all. Everything was set. But her car isn't working and now she has to get a new one. She said something like it could take 3 months. So I cant visit her in 4 months.


4 months is a long time to keep the attraction going. I dont know how this will work out. She's really gorgeous to me and I really do want to meet her. Any ideas or suggestions? How do you keep the flirting going for 4 months?

I know the odds are against me so I shouldnt take it personally, but it would be so great to meet her in person.

New Update:


I talked to her today, and she said its too expensive to fly me over with her current position....

She said she can pay to fly herself over to me, but something felt off with that. Idk she never mentioned that before and I joked around saying no because I was shocked.

Thing is, I'd be willing to split the costs to fly over there. But I forgot to mention that!

Dunno if I should Freeze Out because she has to buy a new car and do all that stuff, etc