The best way of dealing with this sort of thing, in my opinion, is to do two things. First, humour the person and second, ask questions to turn it back on them. Then leave when you can see that the questions have just taken the wind out of his sails a little bit. You know when you're with a little kid and they ask you a 'cute' question like, "do you know why the grass is green?" You say something like "no, why is the grass green?" And they give you a 'cute' response. How are you acting when you say "no, why is the grass green?" You're humoring the child. Letting them tell their story/joke, you know it's not real and is more than likely going to be ridiculous, but they're a young kid, it doesn't matter if they tell you a stupid and untrue story, you just play along anyway.

So let's try and rephrase the original conversation that was posted;

"You're awkward as fuck man."

*Little condescending laugh as though you're humoring him; think the little kid story above - that sort of laugh*
"Oh really, why's that then?" [I think the initial response seemed a bit too defensive, rather than condescending]

"Who are you here with, man?"

"myself" - You know when you deliberately "set someone up for a joke" and you know what their answer is going to be, you sort of answer their question with a slight roll of the eyes, a little bit of a grin, because you know what the terrible punch line is going to be, but let them tell it anyway? Well that's the vibe you're giving off when you say this. You're expecting an abusive "joke" but you're sort of amused enough to see what the punch line is, even though you know it's going to be terrible. No defensiveness, no justification, just a one word answer and a slightly condescending smirk that is humoring them slightly.

"People don't go to bars by themselves, dude!"

"Don't they? Why's that?"

They probably won't come up with a valid answer here, as there isn't one really. They'll probably just revert to the same sort of thing they said in your conversation here:
"I would never go into a bar or club by myself, just because it's happy hour. You just don't do that."

*Here, you're still in the 'humoring' frame of mind, still slightly condescending, but also showing a little bit of fake-interest*
"Ha, really, why don't you do that?"

They'll start squirming for an answer "er, well, it's just a bit weird. Haven't you got any friends to come with?" etc. etc.

Whatever they say to this, you just keep the same sort of condescending vibe. "Yeah I've got friends, do I need to go everywhere with them?" Most important of all, act like you're AMUSED by the whole interaction. You're amused by their efforts to make you look bad. You're humoring them - you know it's a terrible effort to make you look bad, but you're almost interested to see how they're going to do it, so you play along with them anyway.

Again, here they'll just start repeating themselves and essentially saying "you just don't do that" because they haven't got any valid reasons as to why you shouldn't just do it. At this point, when you start to go round in circles, is where you take your leave. They were expecting you to act weak, give loads of excuses, try and worm your way to looking cool. You haven't done that. You've remained in your same frame of mind, slightly amused by the whole interaction. That has ruined their joke. Just say something like "well, as nice as this has been, I'm going to go socialise. See ya later." Don't say anything nasty, don't try and score points. Just smile in that same humoring way and then walk off with that line. They'll probably say something like "weirdo" behind your back and have a snigger in their group, but everyone who has seen the interaction has seen that the lad who told the initial joke has had his joke basically tramped all over by you. You took the joke, made fun of it, then walked off and left them laughing at their own ruined joke whilst you went off and socialised with other people with a better sense of humour.

When people try to put you down in this sort of situation, it's because they find embarrassment funny. They also like to provoke a response and get people wound up. Then they can laugh in your face and either get you kicked out for getting aggressive, or just laugh at you and embarrass you. By keeping this sort of amused frame and acting like you're humoring a little kid, allowing them to tell their story, it basically just makes the whole joke/abuse fall flat on its face. That instantly makes the person trying to tell the "joke"/abuse look stupid, and make you look calm, in control and above such nonsense.

I would sum up this debate by saying a man should command respect first, and be liked second as an unnecessary luxury.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

This also makes me think about 60YOC's stuff on handling social tension. By saying nothing in response to this, you put the spotlight on what HE has said, just leave it ringing in the air for him to get insecure about and everyone else to ponder whether he's actually being a dick.

This might be termed the Clint Eastwood approach. When everyone else is talking and you're not, you kind of look superior by default, assuming your body language is congruent with your silence.

Personally, I'd like to think in that situation I'd say nothing and just look awkward and embarassed (for him).

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Excuse the multiple posts but I had to say I love this - this is all you need to do. Another guy offered you an opinion you didn't like and you rejected it because you had convictions of your own! This is all you need to do in the bar next time! Forget asking the guys on here for clever advice, you just need to know your own mind!

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Everyone will say to not be bothered, but truth is we do get bothered in a situation like this. There is however a different approach to handle these things.

One I usually pop is the my "friend's coming in later he had to take care off someone, if you catch my drift ". And yes I do get asked this question A LOT. Do I care? I do, but I handle it discretely. I simply tell them I lost my friends, my friend's are on their way, my friend had to go home early or I just talk around the question completely. I sometimes do tell the truth, but it depends on the kind of person asking, douchy fratboys get the cocky answers.

Example: I went to the casino and for dinner with my parents early evening and when they had to go I stayed in the bar for a little while until my friend showed up. I ended up sitting next to 2 gorgeous girls and it didn't take long to get into a great conversation and the usual flirting until 3 guys showed up. One of them was a girl's boyfriend. They were already looking like what the fuck is this guy doing here, but I kept my cool and introduced myself. Of course they had to ask what I'm doing here and who I'm with...my answer? O I know *insert girl's name here* way back from highschool or something standard like that, but I said it with a jokingly voice only the girls understood, and my friends are wandering around the casino. The girls already knew I was by myself, but somehow they liked to play along. When I left I ended up having a killer evening that night.

Moral of the story? You can steer these encounters any way you like as long as you believe it's possible. And if people are plain old rude, just bid them farewell and enjoy your evening anyway. Most people tell me they think it's pretty awesome that I'm alone simply because I don't care that much or at least let me be bothered by it.

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Optimistic?

^this. bigtime.

If you get faced with another loser like this, just put the focus on him. Ask why he thinks it's awkward. Better yet, you can use it as a conversation piece with women. Walk up to a woman and explain how your friend bailed as you were entering the bar, and ask if it's awkward as fuck. He's definitely the loser in this scenario. You went there to meet women, he went there with 7 bros and definitely left with 0 phone numbers.

Because police records, bro. I have a clean record, and none of my fights have been "unsanctioned", and I want to keep it that way. Getting yourself in to a barfight you instigated will get you 1. a night in jail 2. an arrest record. 3. heavy court fees. and 4. possible convictions.
Those are all things that can seriously affect your job prospects if you ever plan to work a middle/upper class job. No one wants a convict in their fortune 500 company, And for what? To show some idiot in a bar who's boss?
If you fight with the wrong guy, he could pull out a gun and shoot you. Or his gang could do it for him.
Don't go around instigating fights because you have less control over the situation than you think.
I will only fight outside the ring if I know that I won't be getting handcuffed and slapped with charges for it.
Bouncers are fat, weak, and ugly. I see them in my gym/boxing clubs all the time. They're pathetic, and the only things that makes them intimidating is being 1. large (you can't tell just how fat they are under the suit) 2. bald. 3. the status of a bouncer. I would love to tear apart a pig headed bouncer in a ring, but somehow they never seem up for a good sanctioned fight when they don't have 5 other pig headed fatties in the bar nearby.

Non reactive is the best route to take when dealing with a douchebag at a bar. Wave him off and keep doing your thing. If he keeps hovering around and trying to give you shit and you keep ignoring him, he looks like a jackass looking for validation in the situation.

Not in to my club (if I were to have one that is). On any given night, there are thousands of silicone enhanced UV baked miniskirts walking around town. Having my club frequented by a doctor that made a cure and made millions, and others like him, is going to make my club much, much more successful, and draw those miniskirts by the droves, because successful, rich men attract the mini skirts, and other successful men, as well as spend lots of money. The only advantage the mini skirt has over a doctor is that its not immediately obvious what the doctor's value is, but once its established, he's going to bring a lot more value to your club than the skirts and the poli-sci frat douchebags that will come with them.