Quote:
Hi guys,
35 year old guy in Canada here, just left a long relationship (15y).
I met my wife at the university and settled with her. I only had a handful of other girlfriends or dates before her. As the years went by, I gained a lot of self confidence, noticed that I did get female attention. I know we all think we're Gods Gift to Women but I am cute, have a great body and a clean guy. I can easily connect in a normal social setting with women, but never can take it beyond 'the friend zone'.
So here I am, at age 35 and single again, with no clue how to get laid.
I discovered the book "The Game' and tried to practice a little but something really strange happened. I just can't approach strange women!! It is impossible for me!!!
Yesterday, I was out in a big shopping mall and I just couldn't force myself to talk. I have never felt this invisible force until now, it was like a giant hand held me back, gluing me to my seat. I was over-rationalizing it and went home without having talked to a single woman, not even grandma.
That's when I realized I need help.
My main issue is that I just know women will see it's fake, that I'm hitting on them...
I know you will say, just get over it. Don't care about what they think and just do it. But that's just the point. I can't... please help this AFC loser ...
Syx is right, "approach anxiety" will never go away, but it will become a lot less strong over time. Eventually you will be able to use it to give you energy when you talk to a woman.
The Game is a good book, but it is lacking in detail. For further information, you should buy a good online program, like the
Mystery Method, David DeAngelo's
Double Your Dating, or attend a
Real Social Dynamics bootcamp. Find a pickup style/method that you like and fits your character, then work on it diligently over time. Commit to doing work every day, not just on weekends, and you will start to see tremendous improvements over the coming months and years. Yes, it is a long-term proposition... there really aren't any "magic tricks", because success in seduction/pickup/dating is primarily an attitude thing, together with the development of personal skills that women can detect in you... you can't fool a woman for long, because unless you are REAL about who you are she will see through you fast.
The solution to the "fakeness" issue... YES, it will seem fake at first, because you ARE faking it. But as you practice long enough, it will become a part of you, and all the fakeness will disappear, because you will be becoming a master. So, start today and treat this like learning a martial art... you don't get your black belt in a month, it takes years of work, but once you get it your life changes dramatically for the better.
This community is a great place to learn and discuss techniques, mindset and experiences. Visit frequently, post frequently, ask a lot of questions and then tell us about your successes/failure.
Cheers,
~50
CHAT
