If someone called me a fucking faggot, for one, like I mentioned earlier, I slug this guy and I'm going to *JAIL*, and losing my job. I'd instead prefer from reading this wide variety of advice I've gotten here, to use the "Okay" in a more mocking tone; you've heard it on TV. The guy says in a deep voice like he's talking to a retard "OHW-KAY...", and then I'd move on.

The only reservation was when you suggested this video was the end-all-be-all.

A guy tells me I'm a loser for being out by myself - I respond as we've discussed.

He then steps forward and pushes me back saying, "That's right you little bitch! Only lonely little pussies go out by themselves." . . . well in that case, the rules have changed and everything I've written so far goes out the window. It's time to slug that fucker in the nose, in front of witnesses who saw him assault me first.

You obviously don't go out much/do not know the dynamics of bars/night clubs and the night life in general. When you say the "OHW-KAY" you look like a fucking retard.

Believe me when I say this. I'm that guy who's cousins work at night clubs. I'm that guy that doesn't pay to get into night clubs. I'm that guy that can, not always, get into VIP for free.

This needs to be responded to.


Sorry bud, but I actually know the bar/club scene plenty-well. 3+ nights a week from mid '07 and counting. I've responded like that before in other, less severe circumstances, granted, and certainly didn't look like a retard. People looked around questioning the validity of whoever I was arguing with at the time.

You can dispense with the condescending remarks about my experience, etc. You seem to think those who say, "Say 'Okay' and walk off" are just as wrong as me.
Yeah, and so am I. I've walked past lines and had the velvet ropes unhooked for me, while a whole line of people waiting scoffs at me. The only issue is, you walk in and, if you're in a reaonably sized city, you still won't know a ton of people except the *real* regulars, thus leaving it open for a jackass out with his college buddies to be there that night and say some shit.

Right now it seems you've got some overwhelming feedback from fellow posters that this falling into their frame just doesn't fly. You're placing these assholes on a pedestal. Tyler in Blueprint uses the pedestal analogy the best, but that's exactly what you're doing here. You're buying into this social paradigm shit that was set up for you to buy. You said yourself, "That guy's higher status (why in the 'f' he would be, in your assessment is beyond me) so I better respond with something witty. I'll only get away with saying 'if you say so' and moving on if he's some homeless grungy guy'"

This is top 40's, pop-culture shit at it's best. You bit the bait, hook-line-and-sinker; but if it's working for you, somehow, awesome!

If a newbie or terrified little virgin were reading this, and bought your view, he'd be scared shitless to ever step into a venue alone b/c he'd never think he'd be clever enough to think of, on-the-fly, what it would take saying to deal with these assholes.

Sorry man, I just have to respectfully disagree. Assholes have gotten too much reaction out of me, (and not that sarcastic, off-the-mark stuff your friends gave you feedback on that you mentioned.)

On the way home, friends would observe, "Man, didn't you see what you let that asshole do to you? He was pushing your buttons and knew it."

I can't recall this ignore method when someone higher valued than you throws a jab at you in a movie of any such. Hmm.. I wonder why.
But supposedly you have been going out 3 nights a week since 07 so you must know...

That whole "bow to the consensus" thing has never won much respect from me, nor shown me anything worth writing home about.

You turned around my critique and stated that you *want* to see the reactions you'd use in Hollywood movies.

??!!!?! (taken aback)

I've been done with what the consensus thinks is cool and/or high value, or hell, even good for you, "McDonalds is healthy for you, etc. etc." for quite some time.

If you don't take value into account in this situation your argument is invalid.

Where you believe it or not, value will always be there.

I'm not sure as to what value you've been referring to. You started off in your original responses even by taking it for granted, (paraphrasing) "Someone higher value than you insults you, you don't just ignore him; that shows how weak/low value you are."

And he's high value why? I'm still puzzled by why this guy would be high value simply because he's got a crew of 8 college friends holding his hand.

I think I even opened in my original post, "And it takes a guy with a group of 8 of his college friends to say something like that."

And that's no straw man. My approach on life has never been to assume others are of higher value than myself, just on a whim, or at the drop of a hat.

You don't get the concept of value, and yet you claim to be a boss in the night life.

Get your pen and paper bro. Here's a explanation.

In the night life, what you think is value doesn't matter... unless if what you think agrees with what the majority thinks. In other words, perceived valued is what really matters. Imagine Jay Z in a disguise as an average joe at a night club. Bitches wouldn't flock to Jay Z. Why? Because his perceived value is an average Joe. He still might feel like Jay Z and feel like he's better than everyone at the club, but b/c his perceived value is an average Joe it would be idiotic for him to act like Jay Z.

In this situation, the OP was by himself and the person who threw the jab at him was with his buddies. Clearly the guy with his buddies has more value than the OP. If you do not understand this than you need to quit arguing and go learn the concept of value... and I will probably think you're very slow if you've been clubbing 3+ nights a week since 07 and not able to understand this.

You don't get the concept of value, and yet you claim to be a boss in the night life.

Get your pen and paper bro. Here's a explanation.

In the night life, what you think is value doesn't matter... unless if what you think agrees with what the majority thinks. In other words, perceived valued is what really matters. Imagine Jay Z in a disguise as an average joe at a night club. Bitches wouldn't flock to Jay Z. Why? Because his perceived value is an average Joe. He still might feel like Jay Z and feel like he's better than everyone at the club, but b/c his perceived value is an average Joe it would be idiotic for him to act like Jay Z.

In this situation, the OP was by himself and the person who threw the jab at him was with his buddies. Clearly the guy with his buddies has more value than the OP. If you do not understand this than you need to quit arguing and go learn the concept of value... and I will probably think you're very slow if you've been clubbing 3+ nights a week since 07 and not able to understand this.

Hey guys,

So there's this place around the corner from where I live that brews its own beer and has AMAZING $1.50 drafts on Wed. nights, like 4-9pm. I love going there on Wednesdays because the place gets PACKED but whether you'll see heavy loads of girls are hit / miss some nights.

I wanted to go with a buddy from work, but he txted me as I got to the door that he got caught up w/ a family thing and couldn't make it. I figured I'd go in and grab a beer or two anyway just because; plus, "Hey, I walked all the way over here, why not?"

I go in and lo-and-behold, my former roommate is there, with a crew of 8 of his college friends. We shoot the shit for a while; talk about jobs, what he thinks of the area since he moved here, etc. I meet his friends that I haven't met.

Later in the night one of the guys just blurts out of the blue "You're awkward as fuck man."

I asked, "Why? What're you talking about?"

Then one of the other guys chimed in, "Who are you here with, man?"

I said, "Well, I know David because we were roommates for a year; I've just been shooting the shit with him and enjoying the happy hour."

He said, "No, I mean, 'Who'd you come with?'"

I said, "Uhhh, nobody....the place is close to where I live and I like coming here on Wednesdays. Is there a problem with that?"

He said, "People don't go to bars by themselves, dude!" His friends were all looking around at each other and at me and looking down, shaking their heads too.

He continued, "I would *NEVER* go into a bar or club by myself, just because it's happy hour. You just don't do that."

There was then this tangent subject we talked about where he said something about, if most people want to drink and don't have anyone who wants to come out, they just drink it at home. I said, "Actually, they say people who drink at home by themselves....that's a problem." (people have given me shit for it in the past).
- but at that point I was too pissed off to stick around, so I closed out my tab and hit the road.

What the fuck gives, guys??!!

I thought it was supposed to be okay to go out by yourself. I thought, worst-case scenario, I won't have enough girls to approach and'll look wierd for being by myself; but NEVER in a MILLION years, expected to actually have someone essentially tell me, "How dare you go into a bar by yourself, man?"

I wanted to crack that fucking guy in the face!

- and it takes a guy out with a group of 8 of his college friends to say that. Shows who really has the balls here.

What do you guys think? Should I have stuck around? Should this change my perspective on going out by myself?

I've learned that this chunk of Arlington County (just across the river from DC) is mainly huge groups of kids, frats, etc. who went to UVA, VA Tech, or well-to-do colleges along the northeast, where nobody is over 22-23. Kids come to the area with huge crews of friends, after they've all gotten jobs in DC. They all hit the nightlife scene out and about in Arlington, because, well, that's where the chic bars and expensive drinks are, not to mention the hot girls.

But the DC area started showing up on all of these lists over the past few years of "Best Places for Young, Single College Educated Guys to Move!" - mainly because of it's single women ratio. It was a 7 year trek for me to get qualified enough where I'd have a job up here that'd let me live how I want.

I think the secret got out, and the dudes just started pouring in.

It's common to walk into a place and see nothing but tables of no fewer than 5-6 people, mostly dude-heavy. If girls are out; they're with no fewer than 4 girlfriends; or a bunch of dudes; they all went to school together somewhere. They call this the "orange-line corridor" (follows the metro).

Is this a "When in Rome" kind of thing? I mean, if it looks that awkward to be out by yourself (although it should be perfectly acceptable no matter what) if the status quo is that you turn up with no less than 5 friends, stay home, or go out anyway and look awkward?

Can there be such a thing as an "area that's just not conducive to meeting new women"?

Oh and by the way, you're not being noticed as a super-cool, ballsey guy for being out by himself, by girls who are around and see you.

Just wanted to run this by the community. I'd appreciate any feedback, good bad, or indifferent.

Rob

"I wanted to crack that fucking guy in the face!

- and it takes a guy out with a group of 8 of his college friends to say that. Shows who really has the balls here."

@Poetic

You can't compare skills with this guy. The OP clearly said he went out by himself and got called awkward. If you knew anything about the night life you would know that he probably was being awkward. He didn't approach anyone. He was looking around the bar. Etc. The only reason I brought up my cousins is so that you could VALUE MY INPUT, genius. Not so I could DHV on a fucking pick up forum and move to A3 with the community. SMH. In sales you do the same thing.

I'm done beating a dead horse. I have to bounce.

In conclusion, don't take shit bro. Stand up for yourself when somebody is trying to put you down. Reach down your pants and grab those 2 balls. YOU ARE A MAN.... now act like one.