Hey guys. For a long time now I have been researching the ideas of dating with integrity, from a "heart-centered" place, learning about the ego, enlightenment, and the like. I was wondering what you guys have experienced with this kind of stuff when it comes to your actual experiences with girls. Sadly, most girls if not all girls to varying degrees when it comes down to it lack integrity, have big egos, have entitlement issues, attention issues, low self-esteem, do not accept themselves as they are (especially not accepting their appearance), do not think they deserve good things and whatever else. Finding girls who have true integrity, high self-esteem, self acceptance, true compassion, etc. seems unusual. Also too many girls seem to find it generally socially acceptable to treat guys as if they are lesser people who do not deserve real respect, especially when talking to new guys. I have been single for a while, so I do not know how much has changed but I imagine if anything, things have gotten worse. Not to paint girls in such a bad light. Obviously guys have their own issues too. Girls, when authentic, are obviously a joy to be around. At the same time, while getting worse, I would also say it is getting better at the same time in some ways. Girls being into things like meditation and self-improvement is probably more popular now than say 10 years ago.

Now this is a big grey area, can be rather subject and prone to philosophy. The facts seem to be though that if you meditate, contemplate, do affirmations, decide to have integrity about everything in your life, have real standards and have a generally healthy amount of high self esteem and self-acceptance that you be easily able to spot the opposite of all these things in people since you don't have them generally yourself. For guys who have been into this stuff I was wondering your real life situations with girls and if you find this stuff to really make much of a difference when all is said and done. For example, do you think that it is so rare to find a girl that tries to practice self acceptance that you just try to find the best you can and put up with what seems to be the low self-esteem that all or most girls seem to have? Do you believe in like attracts like or do you think there is so many variables as why we attract who we attract? Basically, I just want to know the experiences of the guys who are into this kind of stuff like me and how it all relates to today's typical kind of girls and what seems most true when all is said and done. I want to be prepared for what is typical these days because of the length of time I have been single. Thank you.

I believe you have hit the nail on the head, what i like about PUA material, is that it is a stepping stone for many men to realise their true potential, i don't mean just by how many chicks they can pick up. However the whole identifying what is an alpha male masculine nature, Making decisions and choices to better yourself, being dominant, not taking shit from anyone, not being needy, knowing what you want and going or it.

For one reason or another this has been denied to us from a young age, i say living in a convineant society is one reason, if you lived in the days before industrialisation, you didn't have the time to contemplate whether a girl liked you or not, neither would you take any shit from them if you did, you had bigger priorities and concerns to think about. Feminism is a big part of this as well, it presents everything as being equal, and men are told from a young age that they have oppressed women, this seeps through state education and the media, so this brainwashing on top of, the chivalry factor, which ironically enough is what gives such a bullshit theory like feminism so much leeway.
Leads to men putting women on a pedal stall, when they really shouldn't be. There are positive and negative gender stereotype reinforcements, unofruntaely men are now being denied their positive reinforcement, which is the inherent masculine energy which we really practically need to employ otherwise life will just run us over, however we constantly have the negative reinforcement, and women don't have to take any responsibility.

Truth is there isn't equality, men and women are largely different, not better or worse, just different, i prefer going for women from more conservative cultures, as they tend to be better looking, more affectionate feminime, of course this is a generalisation, but its what i have found myself.

PUA is great in a lot of ways, however you can memorise all the routines and "negs" as much as you want, but if you are not a confident person inside and lack an understanding of how attraction all really works, then its empty and you will slip up and go around making a fool of yourself without any headway.

It does make me sad to think that alot of decent guys are not taught this information from a young age due to political correctness, meaning they have to resort to obscure internet forums but oh well. I believe being a player comes at high costs, its important for people on the PUA journey, to ask themselves why they are engaging in this, whether its too seek validation from women or not. Truth is women's opinions are very flimsy, you can have 12 different female opinions on one guy, how can that be ! when its just one guy.
Moral of the story, is that if you base your life around what women will think of you, it will lead to disaster and dismay, think of the tale in which two men built houses, one built his on a sandy beach to impress and it got swept away, the other man built his on the rocks further away from the sea, but it stayed there without being destroyed.

Besides, if you live a life of genuine DHV rather than faking it, and are happy with your own self, then you will never have a problem attracting women, they can sense it in the end.

Hey SE, great post! There is a lot of layers of stuff to strip away. When you step into your authentic masculine self which has been there all along and have true genuine standards, this is what makes you the most attractive. Too many girls seem to be acting the strong and independent thing and as a result of so many things like you have said, it seems too many guys are more feminine and too many girls are more masculine. To get things in order, I think guys need to reinvent themselves. Conditioning is very strong indeed. Moving forward past the delusions from the past every day is a must. Us men have to stick to having real standards, like insisting that girls have integrity or we are moving on. This may be more realistic in the relationship qualification context, for everything casual my main qualification at this time is "is this girl and myself going to be better people when this is over, whether it's a one night stand or a month or whatever?" If a guy's standards in reality is no more than "hot, and I'll put up with her nonsense as long as I get sex" is not exactly evolving us to a better place. If a girl lacks social etiquette then we ought to stick up for ourselves with integrity, i.e. "your lack of social etiquette has nothing to do with me and do you respect men or not?"

What causes in girls the very common victim pattern where they avoid responsibility and blame everyone and everything outside themselves for whatever happens they don't like? I think it has something to do with the common entitled issue so many girls seem to have, i.e., "I have been so spoiled and so many guys want me that I deserve only the best," plus the whole slut thing and general low self esteem, i.e. "if I take responsibility then that means I am a bad person so I would rather delude myself by pretending it's someone else's fault." Think about how many times any relationships you may have been in and where the girl played the victim and tried to act like it was all your fault. They need to realize they are not bad people if they take responsibility but having compassion for the human condition. Once we see that we are all the same, just in different degrees, it's easy to accept what you do as long as your intentions are good.

Really, it all comes down to holding girls to a higher standard. If more guys won't put up with their nonsense, then what will they have left? They will realize they need to change themselves from the inside. I believe we attract who we fundamentally are on the inside. If we have high self esteem for example, why would we want to be with a girl with low self esteem? Maybe we will put up with such if it's just a casual situation and we and the girls come out as better people in the end but that's not going to work out very long in a longer term relationship. I think it all comes down to being the change you want to see in the world. Do unto others as you would them do to you. I'be been involved in the community for years and too much seems to be about notches and striving to get as many 10's as possible. Do these tens really have a 10 personality though? I would guess perhaps many do not. Sure, the visual stimulation of the physical beauty of a 10 is awesome but at the end of the hook up, if your personality is not matching the outside, what do you really have? Casual hook ups are great, but to me it's meant for finding out who you connect with and growing as a person. If a guy's only intention is sleeping with as many girls as possible they he finds hot on the outside, this is a split to me what being a true masculine man is all about. It's about loving woman and helping our species evolve to a more positive place right? The irony is, can you think of anything more attractive to a girl? If you have reached your highest potential as a man then you don't really worry about that much because your intentions are in the right place.

Thank you, yes i understand a lot where you are coming from.
If we look back through evolution, women have always been valued for their reproductive capabilities, which outweigh men's. In the days in which settlements were sparse and life expectancy was shorter, if there was to be a giant disaster that wiped out the village males, it wouldn't be as serious as if it had wiped out the females, as males are reproductively expendable, and disposable (il get back to disposability later on). On top of this women are physically weaker, leaving men to take on the back breaking labour which was essential before technology rapidly developed in the last hundred years or so. Men have always been disposable and their status depends on what they do, rather than women who take the receptive end of the deal, which is to have kids and raise them, which was a challenging and full time occupation back in the day, when child birth was commonly fatal as was infant mortality, meaning that 6 kids would have to be raised to ensure a few would survive into adult years and look after the parents, as there was no social provisions such as pensions or welfare.

The point being that men and women both had their places and sides to the bargain, women were valued for their reproductive capabilities, so if they slept around this would lead to her being disowned by society and its institutions. As harsh as it may seem, it makes sense, developing countries and societies needed to ensure production, and to ensure production, backs to be broken has to be mass produced, findings show that polygamous societies tend to fail and breed distrust, even in these African villages were the children are raised by the village, you will find men are more prone to look after their sister's children, than their spouse's as they can garuntee that it will be their blood so to speak.

Men on the other hand are expected to hold their end of the bargain as being disposable, a man is what he makes himself, if he wants a woman and family, he is expected to work and create a name and status for himself, as what else does he have going for himself to full back on ? Men being physically stronger and reproductively useless has lead them to take on the burdens, such as being sent to war for the draft, working in coal mines for 18 hours and all that lark. He is expected to put his interests last in favour for the children and women. You have to ask yourself why men are not marrying anymore, if a man is valued by society for what he does, why would he want to become a Ray Barone, or Homer Simpson, or work for a wife and family, which could leave him anytime on the grounds of being simply unhappy ?

Technological advancements in the 19th/20th century, saw women being allowed to work in the service industry, and do jobs which used to be just for men. Men still inclined towards chivalry allowed feminist movements and thinking to gain more a foothold, where as in reality, men were also stereotyped in terms of gender by society and had their roles which they had to stay in. Truth is, chivalry shouldn't exist in today's society, yet it still does in one form or another, most women aren't happy, they aren't truly happy with men which are needy and more feminime than they are, yet they don't realise the reason why, as they aren't coming from a rational angle. On the other hand men are brainwashed from a young age by feminist teachers and the othrodox opinion to be "nice" and "gentlemanly". Meaning that small minority of alphas are winning and getting everything that they want, because there is no competition, a lot of these alphas are now coming from different countries and cultures, in which haven't been infected with all this bullshit political correctness. bottom line is Males, especially western males which are receiving the most batterings from these entitled interest groups (Black men are also starting to get this feminization indoctrination) made things happen, planes, space travel, political/economic systems, medical discoveries, art, music, and yes a lot of bad things to, but the point is that things were being done.

Now don't get me wrong, the masculine and feminine are almost like two different energies and concepts, both have positives and negatives, there are a lot of blessings that can come from that female energy, but the point is, masculinity is a genuine thing which has a lot of great potential, and having that flow through you, especially in today's sheep led society can make you into a god.

People have to realise though, that although maternal love is probably the highest unconditional emotion and feeling that can take place, the process of reproduction and mate selection before this is very harsh and uncompromising, if you are not an alpha male who has his shit secure, and going on his own journey and path, then chances are you will have difficulty.