Entry 7

Last night went out to sarge. Weird thing was that sometimes you stumble upon a night when there are no people out. Yesterday (and a day last week) was kind of something like that. Still i managed to find a set. I met a girl i had sarged last year (i never called her though because of afc mindset i had going on) and well, i still went into that. She had a friend with her (guy) but i didn't need to outamog him as he was not a competition because, well, the way he was. A cool guy but nothing special and they didn't seem to have anything going on between them so i arranged a date with the girl later on next week. We just hanged around in a bar the three of us and had a great time.

Second set was in another bar. A three-set, not a mixed one and i knew one girl so i dove right in. Sometime two guys intercepted and started to talk to a girl i knew and i had the two others all for myself. I had them interested and one was ok but when she rose up she was tall, and i mean really tall and well i could've got the number or pushed on further but it did not seem that it would go on somewhere as for the height differences. Still got some field exp. and confidence and that's how you build up any skillset.

Entry 8

New entry because it is a new day.

Today i had a date with a one-itis i had. She is really cool and fun but she lives now in a different city and it would be tricky to sarge thoroughly so i just thought i'd have a great time. We met in a clothes shop, she had a friend with her who left later on. I think that a clothes shop is an awesome place to start a day 2. It is so much fun and you can build great rapport there, especially while trying on hideous stuff, and i mean something really ugly. You don't even have to buy anything, just the shear presence is enough. There was a sales going on (2=3) and we had a great banter going on over that. After the friend left, we went to a cafe for some coffee.

There we just talked and i improved my triangular gaze and eye contact. I also found out that just a casual conversation with a lot of laughter is a great way to bond (who knew, ah?). A lot of hand and face expressions as well. Gives me confidence to set up day 2s from now on, this has been a major sticking point for me, for some reason i never called my nc's, now i can take this confidence as it is so easy to have a great time with someone you've already built some rapport and got to know, weather it is a night before or you've known the person for longer. Going to see this girl next weekend as well.


So, to round up, got a date set up for near future and improved my day two game. Need to read more on day/night game and well, a great place to start is other journals. Also need to set up some kind of goals, it should be easier to achieve something with a clear result or goal ahead, something to complete and then move on.

Quick update

Not much chance to update in late week or so but going out to sarge tonight so new report should come up tomorrowish.

Enrty 9

Saturday went out again. It was a party at a bar i roll to a lot. Lot's of people. I also found out one major weird thing (don't know weather to call it a sticking point yet) i'll tell about in just a bit.

First set

The first bar was kind of full but not so much for the target sakes so i went to another (no wingman) and opened a three set. I hit it off really easily and was on a course. The problem hit me right then right into my face. I can't stand people who are not challenging or at least hitting it off with me intellectually or mentally or whatever you like to call it. I mean, if the girl doesn't hit off a click or a vibe from the conversation i get bored real quick. It's an empty communication. The three girls were what you would call "woo-girls" or girls that are loud but empty, lot's of appearance but no depth. So i left the set.

Of course one thing to look at is a lot of closes, because they grow ones confidence and game but i would've felt really hollow afterwards. Maybe i'm thinking with the wrong body part but i definitely don't feel like sleeping with someone that doesn't convey this kind of vibe you need in order to get absolutely comfortable.

Any thoughts on this one, kind of a bummer?

Second set

Wasn't much better. Back in the original bar i went to i found myself with a girl who was pretty much all over me. We were sitting right next to the bar counter so no one saw under the table (the plank on the conter). This one was a lot slutty (really sorry for the word) cause when i got back from getting up for a sec later she was all over the next guy. But actually when i look back now i have no regrets over this one as well.


No more sets to review this time.

So, anyone, what do you think about all this vibe thing i explained?

I guess it would've been fairly easy to take it to the next level had i established strong ST in either of the sets (considering those girls approach) but i didn't want to.

This is what i think about sarging: if i do it, i do it as a man. No closing just for the sake of it. I want to close so i can have a great time and look back and say "damn, this was right". I want to close with an investment, and not just from my part. So if i don't click instantly (or after some time from opening), i need to move on. I think it was one of Gamblers' videos (or Styles' or A.Lyons'; forgive me if i'm mistaken), but there was pointed out that if you don't feel like the set is going on anywhere you intend to take it in about 5 minutes, move on. I did this time and i have no regrets. Closes will come eventually. And when they do, they come so i can reflect positively.

Any thoughts?

Entry 10

Went out twice over the last weekend, two nights in a row. This time i was thinking with a "no tomorrow" mentality, meaning i don't care weather i mess up or not, i NEED to start investing and opening sets. No hesitation. Which i did.

Moreover, I just realized that i always seem to go to two bars to sarge: one is a lounge type (let's name it A) and the second is more of a bar and more crowded, much smaller (B). Other times are more spontaneous, i usually end up in those places and start opening sets, but not every night.

First night

The no hesitation part didn't quite work out as strongly as i wanted it to but i still managed to open all the sets i intended. In one of the bars i went to (the lounge type A) out of the sets i opened i stuck with one where were two girls and mainly because we were sitting in the corner and i could block out everything/-one else around. Turned out they were minors. I still applied lots of kino and triangle gaze. Talked a lot and i ended up with one of their numbers. Later on she added me on FB. Still don't know weather to call her because 1) she's a minor and 2) it's holidays now and well, the date should have to wait a bit. Maybe i'm just searching for excuses.

I need to convert the NC's to FC's. That's the biggest task i need to take.

Second night

Was not so successful (in the B type bar), i opened some sets and stuck with one mixed, turned out they were friends of my friends and for some reason i couldn't invest so much into conversation and kind of let it trail off. Need to practice how to get people hooked and be more intuitive.


I do want to go out at least once before the new year's. I also wrote down goals for the next year and how to improve myself but this i will post later.

Enrty 11

Happy new year everyone!

Last night i went out. Firstly i went to a house party, it was fun and i had no problem with engaging in a conversation with total strangers (most of the people i did not know). They were all older than me and at some point before the midnight we went to the city centre to watch fireworks and drink.

Well new year hit and i went to a bar (the lounge type) to catch up with another set of friends. We drank and had fun and at some point one girl pulled me over (the one whose number i got a week or so ago) and she called me to her place where there was a party. So i went with plenty of people.

Again, mostly them were total strangers, and most of them were younger than me as well. Though, some of them attended the same school i did and i had no trouble with building a lot of alpha frame and DHVing.

I set myself a goal to close that girl who invited me and who i NCd. For pretty much the whole night we were grinding but i didn't go for the KC because there were like a million people inside the room and i didn't want to like that. At some point i just took her to one of the rooms and closed the door but people kept intercepting and then a bunch of them came in, started talking and dragged one drunk dude to sleep in that room. By that time all the rooms had some drunk people sleeping and as it was well past 6 a.m. the FC was out of the question. I was pretty much loaded myself and tired as hell so i just said to the girl that we should meet again some time and left.

I was really tired and drunk and so i went home. Even if i had stayed, the close would not have been possible because of all the people, so i didn't mind. I don't know if i want to go on a date with that girl though, for some reason she just doesn't feel right. That's why i need to escalate faster and go for the close instantly, after i wait i always find some problems presenting themselves (weather with the girls looks, personality or character traits). I see a lot of faults, at least with her i did (plus she is a minor).

At this time though i have the exam session with the uni so i won't be having much chance to go out an sagre. Maybe just once of twice in January. Also, my financial status is almost depleted so i really need to find a job.

Things i learned:
- yes it was new year's eve, but nevertheless don't get overly drunk. I hadn't been this loaded in a long, long time
- push for closure faster (i didn't have much opportunity this time but maybe i should've KCd regardless of the people around). Although i'm not very comfortable with the whole room ogling
- don't ditch your friends unless you can close. If not, stay in the bar/place/wherever you are, interact and open more sets. This time i thought i could close, but in reality not

A sight set

So, i'm almost done with the semester and i only have one more work to complete which i'll do this weekend. Then i'm free for the time being. As i've not seen much of outside for the better part of the month i now think it would be a perfect time to set some goals before i go out tomorrow.

What i look to achieve this year

1)I absolutely loathe all this numbers stuff. HB this, quotas, whatnot.
Just set a sight, the most important: Start closing.
As simple as that. This is the biggest challenge i am setting myself for this year. Full closing.
2)Find a job. I need financial background and right now i ain't getting any. So this is goal number two.
3)Invest into myself. Be it training, studying, sarging. Find a motivation pattern and start Doing.
4)Write, dance, read. I got rid of all the distracting stuff on my computer last month like games and stuff. Can't believe how much time it gives me to do all the things i never took time to do.
At this time:
Write
Dance
Read
Those would be the activities outside the social life outside.

Just realized something. If you look for time you will never find it. You will always say i don't have it. One has to make time. How? At the expense of something. Exchange. Throw out something that is not needed, not of utmost importance for your growth and you will have time. Lots of it.

Problem areas

Like i said, haven't been doing much of sarging this month, but what comes to mind right away:

Escalating
AMOG
Sexual tension

Take a leap of faith and just go with the flow. This will develop a routine and get me wholly comfortable.

So, all in all, i felt like i needed to outlay some of my thoughts. Planned a date with a girl after the exams session was over so i guess now would be the time to bring it up again.

Keep on rockin'

Entry 12

Apart from the fact that i'm pretty much broke in the sense of going out cash i went out last night.

Went on a round for all the bars with my buddy at the start of last night. Not many sets to open anywhere. At some point we stuck in a regular spot and went over to a friend of mine (one-itis) and opened a set of three girls there. I don't recall much from there on only the fact that at 3 to 5 in the morning we danced.

The thing i discovered is that dance game is easy. It really is. It's all about escalation (a world of thanks in that matter to Chiefs material). Everything is about the man. You lead and as it is dancing you do what you want, it's all cool. If you radiate confidence it will work. And if she pushes back a bit you take one step back and from there two steps forward (cliche but it is true nonetheless). So what i did was pretty much hand on the back - hand on lower back - hand more lower - and from there on worked my hands all over her body.

I did mess up though and it was the stupidest thing because it really looked like a sure close. The problem with me was kiss-close. The lesson in here is to go for the KC at the earliest possible moment. If not, then all kinds of things might happen, as in my case, she drifted off sometime and all the sexual tension was lost. I needed to rebuild it again. I did kiss her though at some point and later we went on to a club (me and three girls; the one i have a crush on, the one i sarged and their friend).

The club was pretty empty. But the most disturbing part was that the girl i was sarging was the worst person to dance with. No matter how close i got and how much ST i created she always pushed me away and danced herself to the other corner of the room. Now i know i should be in control on the dance floor but this girl was impossible. Even her friends were like "what is this". So i didn't close because all the ST was gone and this dance floor nonsense was a major turnoff.

After all i left rueing my night and kind of not as well. I did get really comfortable with dancing (though as i am a dancer myself it's never been much of a problem). Escalation works and i should've made out with the girl when we were first dancing. Think that the fact that the crush was in the same room kind of ruined my confidence. Maybe i'm just looking for excuses again.

Things i've learned

- dancing is not a problem
- escalation is the key
- i am an alpha and i need to act like it
- confidence is everything

Problem areas

- kiss close. just man up and get over with it. the earlier, the better. if she resists build more ST
- alpha frame. still learning how to grow more confidence (amogs on the dance floor, weren't many yesterday but that's a lesson for the next time i guess) but the "do the things you're good at and you'll get more confidence" certainly works. at least with dancing
- escalate faster

Entry 13

It's been a long time coming and i apologize for it. Man up and admit. No posts in a month is not good.

I went out to the bar with a bunch of friends this past Saturday. Only one girl, whom i like. The problem was the escalation part, my wing who i invited along (as this is the group of my closest friends i introduced my wing to them last year) was pushing me all the time to go for it but i did not push well enough. That for that. I decided to follow other endeavours.

First set

One of the things that has given me a lot and has broken much ice is the line. Not a sentence, the line. Queue. Who knew, right? This was the same bar/lounge i go all the time. So i was waiting in the line and suddenly two girls started talking to me (the best thing about lines is the "Are you in the line?" question. Comes up every single time. Every). I promised to find them after my turn but they were nowhere to be seen.

Did see them a bit later though and immidiately went over. One of the girls was tall, way taller than me. The other was pretty. My type, if i even have one. Pretty does it usually for me. I'm not entirely sure how i managed to achieve it but i just stole that girl away. "Lets go somewhere not so loud to talk". Took her by the hand to the corner and went close to her. That's what i like about corners. I pulled in, both hands around her and on the wall and my face like two centimeters from hers. Boom, sexual tension.

We talked a bit, she liked my tattoo (on my arm in the inner part of the elbow), i took it from there. She told the "I have a BF". What i do remember from the shit tests (sorry for the word) is that it is compulsory to walk right through them. Like fire. "I do too". Made her laugh. She repeated the "IHaBF" to which i kissed her. She didn't object. Then she pulled away and talked about the relationship she had going with the guy. Apparently she was convincing, later i found out that she really did have a BF. At the time i didn't care because it is the one line that has rattled my game numerous times before. So i just interrupted and kissed her again. We made out. Then she pulled out again and explained a bit. After going over to her friend they left.

I felt like this had given me a big boost in self-confidence. Even if i didn't manage to full-close, i hadn't even KC'd in a while so i definitely felt well.

Second set

This is the one encounter that managed to tell me one thing: stop wasting time and get to it. The longer you wait, the bigger the chance of a mess-up is.

I opened a set later after spending some time with my friends and absorbing the emotions of the quickest KC i have ever had. This new set i managed to mess up (won't use curse words). I managed to strike a connection with another pretty girl. The problem is, i did not escalate. It had connection but not at all sexual. For that i paid the price. I spent entirely too much time with her. Turned out she was a friend of a friend (guy). And she wanted to go to his place. It was like 4-5 a.m. then so i told her it really wasn't much of a choice. She called the guy, texted, some more and then she decided to go over there. It was the same direction as my home so we went together.

The problem i had was a connectual one. I did not create much ST so she wasn't interested in coming over to my place. She went to my friends to "sleep" and i went home alone. There are a number of reasons i do not think i'll pursue this one even though i did number close: creating ST from this point is very difficult; she went over to my friends which put a dent in for me; new sets seem more appealing.


Thoughts

I haven't read the journal in quite some time and i see the problem areas i've outlayed for myself. Escalation, sexual tension and kiss close: i think i've never managed them better than in the first set this time. Nowhere near close enough for mastering the art but it has definitely shown me what i've been missing and given a lot of motivation. I need to close more. It's fun, it's improvement and most of all, it's good for me.

So, one of the sets went well and the other was almost a total disaster. Far from the worst possible scenario, but in the matter of time management, appalling. What was the quote, "if it doesn't seem in the first 5-10 minutes that this is going anywhere you want it to, get out". No hopeful maybes, those are not for alphas.

All in all this time i got much needed motivation and a burning desire to go out. Again and again.

In all honesty, this isn't much to go on with.

Quick update

Something i've discovered: Some time ago i made notice to improve my posture. Actually i've made a lot to accomplish that (at first it was a concious decision and about pushing myself towards something i wasn't use to). I try to straighten my back a lot (as i'm a short guy) and i've found that i wear clothes (especially suits/jackets) better. Soon i hope it will be subconciously and i won't have to worry about it anymore.

I've also decided to go jogging again. As soon as the ice melts (it's a constant on-off slipper outside, the worst weather to jog). Plus, i have not danced in training for about a month, so come next week, that is definitely something i will pick up.

Today i'm going to training, play ball and later go to town.

I'm going on a party tonight. It falls under the social circle though, so there are not many people to sarge. Just interact and get comfortable with friends of other friends. Maybe later on (past midnight) i will go out to a bar but that is not a definite plan. For now, i'll get my alpha mood on and just flow.

Keep posting, your journey is likely to help others, besides yourself. So good work!

I might suggest you spend more time celebrating (even if just in private) each tiny success you have. Self confidence comes from trusting that you can handle yourself in any given situation, and so it's important to constantly reinforce every little success you get. Allow yourself those celebrations because you deserve to feel good.

Each little victory you FEEL becomes a brick upon your wall of self esteem and beliefs... they don't build themselves. And I don't just mean each victory in the world of women... I mean EVERY victory.

You got that job you wanted? Victory! Give yourself a private pat on the back.
You finally approach that girl you were super nervous to talk too? Celebrate!
You stuck to your diet last night despite everyone else eating pizza? You're strong and should recognize that!
You did that one extra set at the gym? Amazing!
You made your bed in the morning? Praise Be To You!

Self confidence is like a muscle that requires exercise, stress, then rest and nutrition in order to grow and strengthen. So give yourself permission to self congratulate and celebrate. And find ways to do this privately because the last thing you want is to seek approval from others when you should be seeking it only from within yourself. Feel good when you deserve it... which is always at all times.

Obviously it's a good thing to recognize your weaknesses but there's far more advantage to focusing on your strengths and building upon them!

If your strengths are dancing, for example, then doesn't it make more sense to meet women in a place where they are trying to learn to dance? Or where they would see you as someone they might admire and appreciate instead of a natural place like an average bar where you blend in as an average guy? I"m not sure I know where someone might meet others who like to dance, or who are just starting to learn, but that's because I don't know anything about dancing...

I'm just trying to point out that you have PLENTY of strengths and you should definitely use them.

When I was single and doing way more dating I always felt awkward in bars and clubs and so I tried different venues in order to FEEL more comfortable and relaxed... For example, I would often go to a lounge way early in order to eat dinner at the "wood" while making friends with the bartender and waitresses when they were MOST bored and available for conversation. This way, if I met a friend or two after dinner when the place got more busy, I had already established comfort with the staff and had a good vibe flowing with the hot waitresses... this good mood would often bleed into any sets I opened later in the evening.

I also recognized that I was a comfortable computer nerd and so I found much more dating success with online flirting and dating, which lead to more in-person dating experiences that I needed to expand my day game.

What's my point? I'm rambling....

Keep up the great work and focus more on what you LOVE about yourself because it's those aspects of your personality that will shine most when women first meet you... and might help you to choose venues with women who share your personality and vibe.... sorta speak?

Here's a video that's meant to help people find their passion within the career they want... but it applies to all aspects of life.. it's about finding our strengths and building upon them:
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GGB_d8FZig
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nfkc-yj4yq4


~ Robby

Thanks a world for replying. You've pointed out many vital things i've failed to recognize myself. I also think that feeling good about oneself is an important step in becoming an alpha. I don't feel good about myself very often. But celebrating every victory however small or big is definitely an excellent idea. Everything starts with self-esteem and self-confidence.

Bars are usually where i go when i'm out with friends. I'm not much of a club person because there are probably one or two decent ones in town that play normal music as in funk. Others are a mix of pop porno bludgeoning which makes my ears bleed. Having that kind of surrounding kills my game before i even get a chance to start. In bars i've got my few successes as well and it is the easiest place to approach. Which helps overcoming my conversation starting problems. Going early on to lounges is actually a good idea. Having friends as bartenders or waiters is an invaluable asset.

I'm definitely going to watch the videos you've posted as well. I need to find self confidence. Thank you.

Entry 14

Changes

Last night was a party and it was a total disaster from my point of view. The party was really cool with nice people and i had a great time. But i was an indecisive fool and as for that i have decided to change various aspects of my life.

A bit about the party

As i said, it was a nice party. I did not make a scene or directly anything i should be ashamed of in front of other people. But i did something i am ashamed of myself. More of that a bit later.

My one-itis said that she is single. Which gives me a window of opportunity. I must take action. I will take action. I like to think that we are friends (good ones i guess) but now i must break free of this.

What i did in the party: i got utterly wasted. Both physically and mentally. I haven't had a morning (actually i woke up in 4 o'clock) this bad in ages. It was probably one of the worst mornings of my life. But the bigger issue was the mental aspect. In a bar i got into a verbal fight with my brother, who is pretty much the most important person in my life. We did patch things up this afternoon however, so good on that part.

I got so messed up mentally that a police patrol car had to pull over and ask if everything was alright. I talked with the policemen for a bit and then went back to the bar, found my stuff and came home. Can't even remember the walking part.

The action part now

As a result i've decided to change a lot of things. I'll present them as a list, in no particular order in the matter of importance:

1) No more drinking. I have finally taken action on it. I have seen that it messes me up really bad so i'm going to undertake a sober period. In little difference from taking a glass of champagne or wine on my mothers birthday, i'm not going to drink alcohol for at least a month. Then i will see if i need it or not. At the moment i'm on a path of alcoholism and i do not want to go down it.

Pros: It will benefit me tremendously in the matter of game. Secondly, it will help me with my finances. Thirdly it will do a world of good physically, as in not poisoning my organism so much and also training and getting fit.

If i will drink anything after the month, it will be whiskey because it is more expensive than beer and i can't drink so much of it. I hope it will put a limit on myself, but at the moment, no alcohol.

2) Take up playing guitar. I dreamed tonight that my guitar got broken into multiple little pieces. Maybe that's a sign. And why on earth did i buy the instrument if i'm not playing it. So i will start again.

3) Hit every training session from now on. In addition to dancing i also play floorball every friday. And, come spring, the actual spring not the slippery ice spring as is now, i will start jogging again. At least twice a week as in other days i have dancing. Moreover, build strength. I don't have enough money to join a gym but different pushups and situps i can do at home. One day of the weekend i will leave for resting and revitalizing.

4) Bobair pointed out that i should start feeling good about myself. I will look upon the aspects he described and try to apply them to my life. Everything begins with self-confidence, which i am in desperate lack of.

5) Start writing. I need to write at least one to two hours every day. Sit down and bleed out words. That is the thing i most want to do in my life and so i need to change the current program i have. Every day. And keep a journal/calendar for discipline.

Overview

I believe these steps will help me become a better person. Also becoming an alpha. And with sarging. And interacting with people generally. I will post updates on these aspects of my life as well, not only about sarging. Then i'll have all thoughts here and can modify my life according to it.

Quick update

I thought i'd lay out my goals for this coming week to my journal here. That way i'll have no excuses and have to pull myself together. If not, everyone sees my failure.

So, this week:

- hit every training session (3)
- work out three times (3)
- write at least one hour per day (7)
- go out to sarge this weekend (1 or 2 times)
- open at least 3 sets of strangers/girls, either in the bar/library/anywhere (3)
- post another field report. this way it won't get buried somewhere in the back pages again (1)

There. I've never done anything like this, so i'll see what impact it will have.

Quick update

About the goals this past week:

Didn't get to complete all goals set. Hit all three training sessions though. Other things i did not manage to do every time. But, this is a long term plan not for just one week. I want to be able to complete all these things i've set myself and it's not going to happen over night or a week or a few. It's going to take time and i have to be patient and purposeful. With a plan i do believe i can improve not in just sarging but in life as general.


I've also decided to change some of my eating habits. No burgers and fast food (f.e. after a night out). Healthy food is also an important step to get fit and in a great shape.

I'm a bit upset because this weekend i was a little ill so i could not go out to sarge but these sort of things happen, nothing you can do. On other topics, haven't drank alco in a week and i don't miss it. Another three weeks to go to see any notions about that as well. Keep you posted.