1. Forgive your parents – They did the best they could . . . or they didn’t. Either way, you’re a man now so it’s time to move on.
2. Never be afraid to be loud, be afraid to have no voice. Never be afraid of the thoughts of others, be afraid of not being true to who you are. Your own style makes you who you are; don't adopt someone's you’re not.
3. Change a diaper so that the baby is cleaner and you are no dirtier than when you started.
4. Does not hide, if you are having an affair or embarrassed to be seen in public that is hiding.
5. Use a soldering iron to fix a loose connection.
6. Comfort a child—If you want to judge the character of a man, observe how he treats a child. He may not have any himself—he may not even like kids—but if he can provide them comfort when they are scared or hurting then he can’t be all bad.
7. Cook one signature dish.
8. Calculate square footage—Width x length.
9. Innocently flirt with any woman at even twice your age—or years beneath without causing offense or being disrespectful, of course.
10. Write three coherent, connected, and grammatically correct paragraphs—If it’s really necessary, you should be able to repeat the process well enough to add three more. Unless you have a job that requires extensive writing, that’s probably all you’ll ever need to get by.
11. Navigate your way around an unfamiliar city without getting completely and utterly lost.
12. Differentiate between various types of finance and know which one is best for your situation.
13. Make and follow a budget so that you can get out of—and stay out of—debt.
14. Tell a spellbinding (though not necessarily true) story.
15. Survive in water for at least a few minutes without drowning– 71 percent of the earth’s surface is covered by water. You’re bound to fall into it sometime.
16. Know the four lifesaving steps—stop the bleeding, start the breathing, protect the wound, treat for shock.
17. Give a great TRUE compliment—Tip: Be specific, be sincere.
18. Tell a joke that is (a) clean, and (b) funny (c) sexual
19. Make a brief, informative speech in public without having an anxiety attack and/or using PowerPoint.
20. Never cower from the fight.
21. Know how to use the mass transit system in any city within 100 miles of his home.
22. Use reference materials to find out any information that you’ll ever need to know.
23. Recite the Ten Commandments from memory—If you remember them, it’s easier to follow them; if you follow them you’ll avoid about 90 percent of the self-inflicted damage that will screw up your life.
24. Carry on a conversation with someone who bores you to tears.
25. Recognize when you are boring someone to tears with your inane banter.
26. Always has an unshakable plan.
27. Perfectly cook scrambled eggs and make a decent cup of coffee.
28. Know how to operate a manual transmission
29. Tell the difference between sarcasm and wit.
30. Properly maintain your basic form of transportation, whether it is a car, bike, motorcycle.
31. Grow food—even if you never owned a vegetable garden, you need to understand the basic theory of how to grow food. When the zombie apocalypse happens, you’re going to be hungry.
32. Hunt or fish if necessary.
33. Keep clean living quarters.
34. Endure an insult with grace.
35. Wash a load of white clothes without turning everything pink.
36. Load, shoot, and clean a firearm.
37. Admit being wrong in a situation that will cost you dearly.
38. Physically protect your loved ones and be willing to risk life and limb if necessary to keep them safe.
39. How to Lead.
40. Cogently explain and defend your most fundamental beliefs, preferably without raising your voice.
41. Passion/compassion.
42. Take harsh criticism without being defensive.
43. Differentiate between love and lust, and which way it’s headed.
44. Recognize wisdom and know how to get it.
45. Help someone who is vomiting (without throwing up yourself).
46. Write a letter of recommendation.
47. Write a love letter.
48. Avoid the things that you know Ruin Your Life.
49. Accept responsibility for your actions.
50. Be able to add to this list

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

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