I was wondering this, it seems to me that being too alpha in some cases can put a girl off, i was hearing that there is this one girl that apparently liked me a lot, but never said anything because she thought i was a player.

I was wondering in situations like this, is it okay to be persistent or come across as a bit beta. ?

I'll ask you a question... WHY?

Are you over negging? Are you over aggressive for your personality type? Are you continuously firing out attraction material and never building any comfort hoping that she will just fall for you?

You want to be a high value male but you also want her to feel as if your target is a high value female. By continuously acting like a "self indulged prick" you are going to come off as someone who is trying to hard. Someone who ACTS like an alphamale versus someone who actually DEVELOPS into the alphamale is going to be noticed at some point or another. Congruence brother. Don't act like a dick unless you truly deserve to be acting like a dick.

An excellent motto.

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To be honest man i don't think its that, i do have a high DHV status, trust me i am not some egotistical kid on some trip. I am having a problem with measuring my approaches and comfort building, i find myself even applying too much comfort and missing out on the intent, or i show too much intent and not enough comfort, is it a question of calibration ?

Dude, this should already be known by now: if a girl thinks you're a player, that is a good fucking thing!

It's when she thinks that you're NOT a player is a bad thing!

Don't shy away from that vibe!

She's attracted to you because she thinks you're a player.

As for dominance and Alpha, check out this in-field video of me from the other day. I chatted up and # closed a Halle Berry look-alike.

Pay attention to my dominant, bad ass tone and how I'm pure Alpha and cocky.

With time, experience and failure in the field, you'll learn how to calibrate properly of when to tone down the Alpha and when to ramp it up.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=El-mmuZizuk[/youtube]

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https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

I would say it is calibration then. Remember, you want to be a high value guy except you don't want your value to be TOO high. Otherwise she will think you really are too good for her. She wants to feel good about herself too... It would kind of be equivalent to you standing next to someone like Michael Jordan on a basketball court... its fucking intimidating. Stop with the DHV stories once you have attraction established between you and her and really just make sure you don't DLV. She already sees you as a high value guy. You don't need to keep pumping it into her head, otherwise you will sound cocky and full of yourself. After she realizes that you are a high value guy, start qualifying her and allow her to bring her value up to yours. Women want to feel the RELATIONSHIP before they feel your dick. Let her feel that you are equal beings and the seduction will be natural.

Ok, the goalposts seem to be moving slightly here with every other sentence I read SE! But the way I understand it; you liked a girl (otherwise why would you care/why would you want to be persistent etc.?), you tried it on with her (which is why you think it might be a calibration issue), she sort of liked you but didn't want anything to happen as she thought you were a player. That correct? I'm not really sure what the alpha issue is here, this isn't coming across 'too alpha' it's about a girl seeing you chatting up loads of other girls and not wanting to be the next notch on your bedpost.

So my answers would be:

Girls don't like to feel like just another notch on your bedpost. Are you at school or something? How did she know you were a player? If she has seen you either actually pull a number of girls, then she'll probably just think you're moving on to her now to add her to your list of conquests. If she's seen you try to chat up a number of girls but fail, then she'll probably not want the rest of the social group to see her as having lower standards than the other girls. If she actually wanted a relationship because you were friends or something and she had deeper feelings, then she might simply not have wanted to date someone who she thought she might have to worry about cheating etc.

So in this instance, really, you're always fighting an uphill battle. That's why you've got to be selective, and you've got to also try and keep it in separate social groups. Ideally random girls you meet are the best. Going through your own social group or a couple of groups that are quite close and may have one or two members in each can always lead to problems. The only real way to get over this is to make her feel real comfortable. Show her that you're not just wanting her to cross her off on your shagged list. Show her that you're a trustworthy guy and you're not going to let it seep out that she slept with you or whatever. This is where it could be calibration, in that even if the girl knows you are a player, you have to make her feel more comfortable.

Now the second post of yours seems to be asking a completely different question. Do you mean you think it may be a calibration issue with this one girl, or do you mean you are having possible calibration issues with a number of/most girls? If it's this one girl, then see above.

If, however, you are having calibration issues with all girls then I'm not sure what the original question was in the first place, seems to be very jumbled up! What do you do to 'show intent'? Personally, if it's club game I go all out on 'showing intent' by being quite sexual straight away. If it's normal every day life though, I push the sexual stuff right back. I tend to find I do better with building comfort first and then bringing in the slight sexual teasing/playfullness bit by bit as we go along.

Hey man it is jumbled up, because i am having trouble identifying the issue myself, but i think you have helped me.
Showing DHV is good enough, but you have to qualify them as well, keep it going both ways. I studied the "mystery method" book, and there was very little in that regarding calibration, it's mostly about DHVing and being dominant which is fair enough, but i assume you have to acknowledge them and their value at some point.


As for this girl, she is very shy, told my female pua friend, that she will make a move on me but she thinks i am girl teaser. I go to university but its a small one, so everyone knows each other in one way or another.

Truth is its only in the recent years i have gotten over confident issues, so i tend to be very dismissive on girls, which can sometimes work as a pre emptive buyers remorse curse.

Ok, perhaps I should have asked questions before giving a response. Help me out with these;

1) is your problem with one girl or with all/most?
2) When you say you 'show DHV', what sort of stuff do you mean by that? How do you personally 'show DHV'?

I'm especially interested in the second question, as I think you may be getting a bit too focussed on specific definitions. but I'll see what you say first before writing a longer response!

I kind of think you're looking at it from the wrong perspective.

There are such things as universally attractive masculine behaviours which you want to try and ADPOT and build into your character, sure. And intelligent ways of doing that.

But ACTING in a particular way - i.e. trying to be "alpha", is going to telegraph incongruence which is a big turn off, not to mention is an excellent way of saying "please hit me now" to the wrong kind of guy...

You have to approach it in the right way and realise that mindset changes take time.

The typical PUA route is liable to end in tears on a number of levels.

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1) i had it with one girl that i know of, she apparently said that she wanted to make a move on me but stayed away for a while because she thought i was a player. I get the same vibe off some other women as well.

2) In these cases of DHV it was just confidence, i hosted a few parties so was the one organising it, and i organise things around the university, generally speaking i have a lot going on in life.


To be honest i am grateful for the advice, but a lot of my problem comes down to inner game, its hard in our culture today, to not put women on the pedal stall and constantly chasing pussy like a dog chases its tail. I haven't been able to calibrate in situations which i think is the real problem in these cases, this lack of calibration is due to not being indifferent to the situations presented.
I do think in some cases i have thrown off genuine DHV as i do live a DHV lifestyle, and this may intimidate some shy girls. Im not sure what to do about that.

Ok that helps clear it up in my mind more than anything.

Well, firstly, if you are succeeding with other women and one or two don't want to go near you because they think you're a player, don't sweat it too much. Some girls will have hang ups (whether that's that they think you're a player or something completely different), you can try and get around them but if you're having plenty of success with others then often it's not worth bothering.

If you want to though, you are correct that it is calibration. However, I'm not sure it's to do with not being indifferent about situations presented. I think it's more to do with just generally adapting to the girl.

Let's say you're with a girl who is clearly interested in you straight off and is also a "high value" type of girl. You can probably be really sexual straight off. However, if the girl is really shy and thinks you're too cool for her or that she thinks you're a player, then you can't be as sexual straight off the bat. You're going to have to make her realise that you are actually just a normal guy, or that you are actually interested in her and not just in shagging her.

To put it very basically, think in terms of comfort building and sexual flirtation. If the girl is a shy type then you're going to have to ramp up the comfort a lot before you start with the sexual flirtation. If she's a complete slut then you probably don't need any comfort at all; just whack up the sexual flirtation and she's going to be all over you. In order to build the comfort, there are plenty of good threads but my personal approach is just to be yourself. Be open, be warm, be talkative. That generally makes people comfortable and then you can whack up the sexual stuff.

Thanks for the advice, that helps a lot ! il take note

Don't mean to bash you bro... But that was nothing special. You practically begged the girl for her phone number. And as I tell most people.... ITS JUST A FUCKING PHONE NUMBER. Don't know what exactly it is you were trying to show him in that video but all it sounded like was you saying "put your number in my phone" Vitalyzed TV does that shit and its a joke. Getting a girls phone number doesn't mean shit besides she has someone else that she isn't attracted to calling/texting her phone now. If she was actually attracted to you, she would have given you her number with out you having to harass the shit out of her for it....