Alright so theres this dude I go to school with and we're sort've friends, but he's annoying so I don't hangout with him that much. Play on the same sports team though so I have to be around him. Anyway he fucking AMOG's me at every opportunity because he has low self esteem.

Basically what he does is whenever I'm talking to my friends or whoever and having a logical discussion he will say something completely illogical and ridiculous just to piss me off and get attention. I can't argue with him cause he just keeps saying ridiculous shit and trying to be funny.

Example:

Me: Yeah I went out the other day and hungout with some girls at the mall and it was pretty cool. Just chilled for awhile and(cutoff)
Him: Chilled? You must have been like, in a freezer or something.
(He says this in a way like he knows what he's saying is ridiculous, but he's basically just trying to get a rise out of me and be funny. My dumbass friends usually laugh too.)
Me: No not in a freezer dude, anyway I'm starting to like Cindy(cutoff)
Him: Then why'd you say you chilled?
Me: Just an expression
Him: No

Then the conversation usually goes into him saying random dumbass shit while I try to logic my way out of it, which I've realized never works. So I've been trying to figure out how to deal with someone like this. I know this guy has low self esteem which he's compensated for by getting ripped (and which he also lords over me for being able to beat me up; again because of the self esteem) and now since I'm naturally becoming our group leader he's trying to undermine me because he feels insecure. Any ideas how to deal with someone like this?

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"Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?"- Mia Wallace

Try to get him out of your social circle or control him, if he is challenging you in a social setting he will effectively kill your game.

Ive had this problem with thick arseholes who have only two brain cells to play with, you need to wise crack him with you own intelligence, examples: When he buts in say:
' Do you mind, men talking '
' What time did you say your carer was picking you up? '
If your out drinking and this knob head happens to butt again, reply with
' Wow I remember my first beer '
You get the jist of this. make you friends laugh at his expense. Be smarter than him. your worst mistake is to rise, then he has you.He'l soon get it, and leave you alone to deal with the job your out to do.

This is very good and one option you have.
The other option is you cant allow him to get any rise out of you at all. When you acknowledged him and said "No not in a freezer dude, anyway", this is a rise out of you. The other option is that you can just ignore anything and everything that comes out of his month. Never acknowledge him, just continue your conversation as though you were never interupted.

Me: Yeah I went out the other day and hungout with some girls at the mall and it was pretty cool. Just chilled for awhile and(cutoff)
Him: Chilled? You must have been like, in a freezer or something.
Me: Yeah we were in a freezer. Had to wrap up real warm. Anyway, like I was saying...
Him: What? Warm like a desert?
Me: Yeah we did get pretty toasty in the end, it was cool. So anyway, me and this girl...
Him: A girl was hanging around with you? What was she, a retard?
Me: She did have special needs actually, we were out raising money for people with learning disabilities. It felt pretty good actually to make a difference. So like I was saying...
Him: How did YOU make a difference? By sucking dicks?
Me: Well I like to stick to what works...So me and this girl...

Point being all this guy wants is your resistance cos in his mind that means he's got power over you. By agreeing with him and being friendly and charming about it, you deprive him of that.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Aprelude has some nice comebacks there.. If you are good with coming up with witty replies like that on the spot, go for it. If not, I would totally ignore him or give the group the look that says " this is the stupidest shit I ever heard". Once you start defending yourself with logic while he is trying to be funny, you lose. If you show that he got the best of you by getting angry or uncomfortable, you lose again. Just be indifferent about what he says, and continue your story like he is not there.. Eventually he will fuck off as his ways to get you down are not working.

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In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

Thanks for the ideas guys. Yeah I guess i just need to not give him any reaction whatsoever like you said. Maybe throw in a couple of Apreludes quips. Ill give an update on of it worked because I see him everyday at highschool.

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"Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?"- Mia Wallace

I think there is an inherent problem with being reactive, no matter how clever, compared to a proactive solution. I know the majority of the community preaches these AMOG destroyers, witty bon-mots, and clever rejoinders, but my experience has shown they are largely ineffective other then as an impromptu stop-gap measure for lack of better fore-site. I think you need a structural solution and not just more or better "gotcha" style comebacks.

I understand what you're saying and I wouldn't be around him if I had that option but he's pretty heavily embedded in my social circle. I'm relatively new to the group anyway and he has pretty much been friends with them forever so I really can't just kick him out.

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"Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?"- Mia Wallace

i have one friend trying to pickup every girl who are interested in me. he wants to prove he is better. girls think he is a close friend of mine so they generally respond to him. he is very persistent. even if he fails picking up my female friends, he would try again until he succeeds (which works). i can't cut him off my social circle. i won't pick up his female friends as a comeback because they are ugly. it is annoying when he copies my every move. he is also sneaky sometimes i don't even know he asked my female friends out.

I agree with detox75, not being around this dude is probably the best solution. As a second best, I suggest you laugh heartily (so not sarcastically) at his crappy jokes, and simply continue with the story after everyone is done laughing.

@Aprelude
This type of response very clearly shows that he gets on your nerves.

@ShotgunTheHotOne
Still doesn't allow you to finish the story.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.