Internalising good inner game and removing toxic beliefs



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 5:43 pm 
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Inner game is the essential foundation to PUA but some of us really struggle to develop it in a healthy manner. We read all the blogs and posts ever written on the whole interwebs, we go out all the time and yet for some reason we find ourselves still stuck with some deeply embedded and toxic sub-conscious beliefs.

Some of them we are aware of some we are oblivious too. If questioned about them we know all the right answers, what we should think, but deep down we still have the wrong beliefs. This is partly because we do not actually consciously challenge and take on these new beliefs. When we read about them in online posts and blogs we scan through and agree with them, they make sense, but we never actually internalise them.

To do this you have to actually ask yourself what you believe. You have to put it down on paper.
I've set out a series of inner game questions and exercises below. The purpose of which is to help internalise any inner game reading you do on this site, to help it lock in rather than drifting straight through your head. It will be of use to newbs and any guys frustrated with their inner game development. Initially I put it together for myself but thought I'd share as there's a chance it may be of use to others on here.

As you read more and experience more in the field your thoughts will solidify and probably change but it is important to have you current ideas set out clearly. By setting out the new correct beliefs and actually challenging your brain to verbalise the inner game in clear black and white you can actually begin the process of internalising those beliefs. THIS IS NOT A REPLACEMENT FOR REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE. The point is to help form a good foundation of inner game that you can then go out in the field and get reference experience for.

I’ve seen these exercises before in PUA books and never bothered to do them. “Nah man, I can do that later, I want to read on” or “Naa that’s so basic, I know that I don’t need to go to the effort of writing it down”. I skipped the exercises like this which meant I never got the benefit from them and the material that followed. Doing the exercises IS RIGHT ACTION. Take right action or you are nothing. If you are too fucking lazy to grab a pen and paper or open up a word document, if you can’t be bothered, then don’t read on. And I’m serious; do not read past no.1 until you have written an answer. Do not read past no.2 unless you have written an answer. Becoming a competent man means taking right action at the smallest levels.Try to write as detailed and well thought out answers for each question or exercise.

They don’t have to be done in one go but work your way through them. If anyone has any other good questions or exercises please add them in. I’m still building my inner game and learning so if anyone thinks anything should be changed feel free to mention that as well. I’m all ears!

1. You have to be in to PUA for the correct reason. Validation is fucking bullshit, rid yourself of it. Do not do this to impress your mates or your ex or even yourself. “Oh I’ve managed to pull this girl. That means there’s nothing wrong with me! All those others were wrong, I no longer need to feel insecure! Everyone look at me!” Fucking toxic bullshit. Write down an in depth explanation of why you want to be good at pick up and how it will benefit your life. You need to do this so it is clear in your head.

2. Some guys feel that there’s something wrong with walking over to an attractive girl and randomly talking to her. Do you think there is anything wrong with you approaching random girls and chatting them up?

3. A lot of guys are afraid of escalating or being sexually forward when talking to an attractive girl. Is there anything wrong with escalating on random girls that you are interacting with? Is it ok to make your interactions sexually charged?

4. Some men think that girls only want relationships and don’t really like sex. Is it ok to want to sleep with random girls? Is there anything wrong with actually sleeping with them? Do girls like sex? Do girls want to be fucked? How dirty minded do you think most women are?

5. Do you think you are entitled to the hottest girls, the 10’s, or should you have to settle for 7’s or 8’s?

6. Pretty much every guy let’s other people’s perceptions(or their own perception of other people’s perceptions) have way too much effect on the way they live their lives. Most are afraid about what other people will think if they try and hit on random girls or when a girl rejects them. They’re afraid their friends or even strangers will think they are creepy or a loser. Does it matter what your friends, family or random people at the bar or in the street think about you chatting up a girl? Does it matter what they think if she rejects you? Do it really matter in any way or form what they think about anything you do?

7. Rejection can really knock guy’s emotional state. Does it matter if a girl is not interested in you, rejects you or blows you out of a set?

8. Write down 10 character personal traits and values (e.g I’m a happy person, not negative minded) that you believe you should live your life by and 10 general concepts that you value (free speech, democracy etc). Live your life by these concepts and values. In reterospect you can always look back at them and re-assess your values but in the moment never stray from them.

9. Write down 10 personal boundaries of behaviour that you will never accept from yourself e.g I will never be spiteful, I will never fuck a fat chick (lol joking). Never let yourself cross these boundaries, force yourself to live by them. Like your values you can look back at them and re-assess them but in the moment, when you have to make a choice about and action, you must enforce those boundaries.

10. Write down 10 boundaries that you will not allow other people to cross when interacting with you e.g I will not acknowledge people who are negative around me. Never let people cross these boundaries. Either call them out on it or simply cut them out of the interaction, ignore them. If your friends can not deal with these values and boundaries then should seriously be looking at re-assessing who you friends are.

11. (credit Chief for this one) Sit down and physically write (or type) out a list of qualities that you look for in a woman. If you're too inexperienced to have any idea of what you want in a woman besides "hot," then just make an arbitrary list of personality traits that you THINK would be nice for now.

As an example, here is my list:
* Open-minded
* Adventurous
* Respectful of others
* Caring
* Unselfish
* Compassionate
* Passionate about something
* Feminine
* A little weird in some way
* Openly bisexual
* Likes music and dancing
* Self-aware
* Doesn't hold grudges
* Allows herself to live in the moment
* Not a communist



The next time you're talking to a woman, screen her for these qualities. Ask her questions that you think will give her an opportunity to demonstrate these qualities to you. For example, if "kind" is on you list, do not ask direct questions like "Are you kind?" Instead, lead the conversation so that she might tell you about a time when she did something kind. This may even give you an opportunity to tell a story from your life, etc. Your list pretty much takes care of the conversation on its own as it keeps generating things to talk about.

As an example, here is something I might say:
(in reference to the "open-minded" and "adventurous" points on my list)
Chief: When's the last time you came here?
Girl: Oh, this is my first time!
Chief: Nice. Do you often go to new places or did your friends have to drag you out here kicking and screaming?
Girl: Haha I actually love going to new places.
Chief: I like you. You're not afraid of new experiences.
Girl: Hell no, I love new experiences!
Chief: Have you ever been to (exciting place)?
...You get the idea.

Bear in mind that you don't have to prepare a script ahead of time. Just know what you're looking for in a woman and trust yourself to generate the appropriate fluff talk when the time comes. If you freeze up while you're actually talking to her, just relax and tell her that you're a little shy and not really used to doing this sort of thing. She'll appreciate the honesty and may even help move the conversation forward if you don't run away with your tail tucked between your legs. If she doesn't, then simply taking a breath and relaxing may help you get over mental blocks. Remember: If you're genuinely curious about her then you'll never run out of stuff to talk about.

As you learn more about women, yourself, and what you want, modify your list accordingly
(This point does come under outer game but I think that having a clear idea of what you like in a girl helps you be genuine and authentic which is good for inner game)

12. Imagine you find this perfect girl, one that has all those attributes. How would it benefit your life having her as a sexual partner and friend?

13. post638761.html#p638761 Exercise to help you deal with sub-conscious fears and anxieties. Example given is for approach anxiety but this technique can be applied to other areas of game or life

14. simple-exercise-to-help-you-exit-your-c ... 35051.html Exercise to help get you out of your comfort zone

15. post731662.html?hilit=%20360#p731662 Exercise for dealing with limiting beliefs


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 7:54 pm 
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Great post.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:44 pm 
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THE TEN-DAY POSITIVITY CHALLENGE (Stormy)

This is a Tony Robbins thing that I learned about from Jlaix. I did one earlier this year. It took me thirty-two days to complete.

Here's what you do: for ten days straight, you are not allowed to entertain any negative thought for more than two minutes. You can't be angry, you can't be scared, you can't be sad. Deal with the negative emotions however you can: reframe them, ignore them and focus on the Now, deal with the real-world situation that's causing the bad emotion, whatever. But if you stay in that negative headspace for more than two minutes, you fail the challenge and have to start over from day one.

This challenge has several purposes: it will help you to realize how often bad thoughts crop up in your mind and how pointless they are, and it will train you to deal with them as they arise. It will eventually shift your "default" mental state to a more positive one than you started with, simply by you getting used to positivity. And I think you know what this will do for the vibe that you bring to your interactions.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to allow yourself to be happy. Can you do it?

Fuck yeah, you can.


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