The fear of rejection is an innate human instinct. In caveman days, if you were rejected by a female, your life could literally end because you would not be able to produce young to start a clan of your own. Knowing that we shouldn't care is a modern train of thought, because we consciously know that there are literally thousands of other women in the nearest city.
As for doublespeak and cognitive dissonance, it's mentioned in this article, specifically what Molly Ringwald says:
http://pulsotic.blogspot.com/2011/01/pr ... sited.html
It's about the character Duckie from the 1980's movie
Pretty in Pink. Duckie is the "lovable loser" with a serious case of one-itis for Molly Ringwald's character (Andie). Andie rejects Duckie, and instead goes for someone else from a different background than her own (which is the plot of the movie). How does Molly Ringwald, the actor, explain the actions of Andie? Well, because the character of Andie is a good person who can do no wrong, she claims Duckie must have been gay. We know he isn't, because of his infatuation with Andie. But his rejection must be explained somehow.