I have come to realize that I don't have a fear of rejection. It just doesn't really bother me. Whenever I feel that hesitation when it comes to an approach it is because of my fear of it being an awkward situation. After the opener, I'm afraid that I won't really know what to say next to keep the conversation going. This is a major roadblock for me so any personal stories or advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Smiley

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I have a similar problem I think. I am always happy to go up and talk to people male and female if i know what I am going to say unfortunately with girls at least my fallback tends to be very AFC e.g. complement her etc.

I really could use some tips of how to transition the conversation away from mundane stuff e.g. work etc into C&F and banter. Once I get going with that I am ok its just the shifts between opening and then getting C&F and then closing.

I realize i am just tagging on to your post here but hopefully we can both get some answers.

Raven

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Are we a reflection of our lives or are our lives a reflection of us.

Thanks for the advice, it's worth a try!

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Smiley

Want to follow each other on Twitter and keep each other updated on progress in the game of pickup? http://twitter.com/_Smiley_X_ just send me a direct message telling me your PUA name. Let's help each other out!

Yeah...I like what Tony King is talking about. Can't be bashful in this game.

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Life Truly is short.....ha.... i guess that's why I've been doing what I've been doing. RIP Cisco Kid.

i always had a problem with awkward silences you gotta try and talk seem in control but not needy and pestering, usually i start with my opener then give it a little back up story then for example if were in a club ask something like how long you been here or come here much just something to get her to talk and ask the same thing back then try and get them somewhere to sit and just chat ask her questions about what she does etc

The old saying is "Silence is golden". Silence builds awkwardness, which builds tension, sexual tension, which is good. If you hold your frame and you are comfortable with being silent, the pressure is on the girl to continue the interaction and I also use it as a moment to cut the BS and move in for the K-Close or increase the kino.

I love silences. Combine it with eye contact and it's a lethal part of your game.

I made some interesting observation about this phenomenon and learned 2 ways to handle it:

1. I speak the the first thing that comes into my mind. This really works for me. I just take the lead and keep talking. I don't care in that moment what she may wants to hear or may wants to talk about. I do my talk. I lead. It works.

2. I try to move them: "Hey, let's go there." "Let's move a bit!" "Let's take a look at..."

Awkward silence is

a) A lack of male leading
b) A lack of shared values and interest

You cant beat b) - if this is the reason, she is not your type of girl. You simple don't match. Forget it, leave her and save precious lifetime. But you can beat a) - you have to take the lead, mentally (talk) or physical (move)!

Cool posting! But you need to be very confident with that. I doubt that beginners can put that kind of confidence on the table. Advanced stuff, for sure!

I don't think it's that advanced. Hunter's advice is good stuff. Think of a silence.

Option 1) You're stood there shifting your eyes away, with an awkward chuckle at the last joke you just told, and desperately trying to think of the next thing to say. The girl is doing likewise, or looking around for an escape route.

Option 2) You look into her eyes as if trying to figure out what she wants, with a little knowing smirk on your face which, after a couple of seconds, leads into a small laugh, as though you find her eye contact and smile back to be quite cute and funny. (I often deliberately create silences after she's said something just to get this going.)

You can follow option 2 up with whatever you want. She's melting already!

However, my direct advice to anyone who has issues with awkward silences is to be random. Girls like random conversations anyway, far more than mundane ones about work and hobbies etc. etc. The only thing you need to worry about with your randomness is the vibe of the conversation. If you've been jokey and playing around, you can be random about pretty much anything. If you've been a bit more sexual tension type conversation though you don't want to come up with something goofy-random as it will kill the SPAM. But don't fret too much, randomness isn't easy for some people but generally it's the delivery rather than the content of what's said anyway.

Awesome advice. I'll have to work on building up the kind of confidence, though.
Yeah taking the lead is hard for me. I worry too much about trying to talk about her interests instead of mine because I'm afraid of her getting bored me I guess.

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Smiley

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I can do random, but again I always just get so worried that she's gonna think it's weird instead of fun or that she just won't be interested. In which case I guess I shouldn't be worried about it anyway, I should just say fuck it and move on...but that's my problem. I think I'm seeing a trend as I write these replies. I care too much about what she thinks lol

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Smiley

Want to follow each other on Twitter and keep each other updated on progress in the game of pickup? http://twitter.com/_Smiley_X_ just send me a direct message telling me your PUA name. Let's help each other out!

Awkward silences might be good at a certain point once you already know each other a little because it creates some tension. However just after opening in the first minutes of meeting her, they are awkward and they can screw up everything.

In order to avoid them, what has helped me is to have a couple of questions (around 6) that you can always ask.
Example:

What do you think about this place?
Do you come here often?
have you seen or done anything crazy here?
what else would you recommend me to do somewhere around here?
...

Usually I try to give everybody 3 chances, meaning that you ask 3 questions, if the conversation does not start naturally after that, because they reply with 1 word answers... you say something like: "it was nice to meet you" and leave.

Too many questions imo. Why not try having a conversation instead, mostly statements and occasional questions. I drop bait to make her curious enough to ask me questions, so she becomes emotionally invested in me.

I like both of your answers. I can try to find a happy medium between them, or even try them both separate on separate occasions and see what works best for me. I guess my next step is just to get out there and put myself in the situation, that's the only I'll know for sure.

Thanks guys!

_________________
Smiley

Want to follow each other on Twitter and keep each other updated on progress in the game of pickup? http://twitter.com/_Smiley_X_ just send me a direct message telling me your PUA name. Let's help each other out!

I did not read what other guys were saying so I can repeat myself.

I had this problem as well. Silent moments were awkward for me and I thought I needed to say something to get out of them. But thats just AFC. You don't have to be talking all the time. You can k-close the girl without a word and both of you will be comfortable with that. As long as you are projecting the frame that everything is cool everything will be cool.

Now I often create them myself. Why? Because you can transform it to sexual tension.

Whenever I get bored of chatting I stare at girls face seductively and say nothing. Usually girls stop talking and this moment creates a lot of sexual tension. Here you can do some kino or break the tension by continuing your convo.

Such silences are very pleasant as it creates good emotions in you and the girl.

Its all about how you perceive the situation.