Hi Guys, i've been out of the game for two and a half years in a long term relationship but recently it went wrong and it went complicated...

about the last 4 months or so ive wanted greatly to pop the question and its been weighing on my head so much cause i didnt believe she would say yes, or that i could be that lucky it actually drove us apart and a few weeks ago we had a big arguement to which i said (cause im stupid) maybe we should take a break, i regretted it almost straight away feeling foolish and sending her soppy text messages all that AFC stuff big mistake i no better....

anyway it came down to me saying i would like to talk properly im free thursday or sunday, she told me maybe next week cause im really busy and that was that...so come thursday night im getting all my mates out to have a good night she txt me "im free if you still want to talk" i said "sorry im busy now bad timing rain check would be nice to talk let me know when your next free" ...that next morning i called her

we laughed and joked on the phone really well, and i said im free saturday evening we can meet then and she said yea ok ill txt you...

so come saturday around 3 ish i get the txt "im free" i called her up and arranged to go for a meal in this restaurant we both love and found together, on the way there i basically said sorry for how i acted and im glad we are still friends but i still have feelings for you...we had a nice meal we laughed joked talked serious when it was needed and also flirted she was putting icecream on my nose catching me off guard its was amazing....on the way back i told her "do u really want to no why ive been so off and distant even if it makes things worse and u never wanna see me again" she said "yes" so I GAVE HER THE RING.... told her its been over my head for months and im so sorry for acting so off, we both cried and the closing statement was this i said "i need some time to sort myself out and get my life back on track and i would really like to give it another go, but didnt care what she did with the ring if she wanted to get rid of it or sell it that was up to her i didnt mind i just couldnt take it back" she said and i quote "im gunna keep the ring cause i dont want the last two years to be a waste, but i need time and really dont know what the future holds" - to which i cried held her hand and said "take this ring as a promise that u will see the old me again" .......we held hands for about 10 minates both giggle and tearful and happy, and then i had to let go to change gear lol

we got home said our goodbyes and that was that, but since then, we have been around each other alot and if its just us or her and MY mates we are amazing we laugh we joke flirt play fight my friend said to me the other day " if u hadnt told me u where apart i wouldnt know" BUT and here it goes, if she is with her mates she is cold, blunt txts, doesnt make eye contact will just say hello and keep walking, all her friends have told her that keeping the ring and getting it "fitted" (cause i got the wrong size lol) would be a silly idea, they keep telling her its just a reminder and it will just make things horrible...

i spoke to her last night before a party at mine, and said i wanna give it like 6 weeks we will get the ring fitted cause theres no point having a ring that doesnt fit, then after that we will give it another shot on like a trail in secret if she wants and see how things go and see if we want each other back....she said shes knows what im getting at and agrees that its an idea (she never said good or bad) she just said "i think ill need a little longer to get my head around things" she also told me her friends think keeping the ring is a bad idea and silly and we shouldnt get it fitted to which i said well "you and i no what it means and neither of us want the last two years to be a waste its a big part of our lives if nothing else i want it to be a happy reminder of good times" and she just agreed with me, she stayed at the party, we laughed joked play fighted and rolled around on the floor when she was trying to read messages on my phone and i wouldnt let her, cause she knew they where from another girl and i wanted to keep her thinking.....and then when i made a joke to my mate saying u can shag her she single, she shouted back "do u want me to give u another chance" and i said "jokes love uuuu" in a really over the top take piss voice and she just went "mmmmhhhmmmm" and i laughed that was it and the party continued tbh, there wasnt many other close things or cheeky remarks that i noted but that one really, other than she came up with a drinking game for me and a friend playing darts and she kept topping my drink up with vodka and giggling when i missed a shot and had to drink or when i point out " i no what your doing lol " oh and when her parents rang she lied about where she was because they think its silly we still hang out if she doesnt love me anymore.....

she has recently turned 18 im two years older, and in my view it seems like she just wants to be 18, single and crazy for a bit, but still has feelings, however she did also say she is happy at the moment and she said without sounding nasty im happy single im not upset or anything :/ ...

need some advice the truth is i really want her back and am willing to take my time, she knows we have like 3 weeks left to get the ring fitted so she knows if she wants to there is a time limit on it, so dont no what she will decide about that:/

anyone got some ideas or advice, if it was just her and me i think we would be back together already but with her friends and family involved it makes things complicated :/

_________________
Never take a chance, in missing a chance....
Passed Mysterys 5 for 5 infield mPUA challenge, now looking into other games e.g. day, txt, online etc...
P.I.M.P.
Personality, Initiate, Maturity, Passion...

Mate did you propose her ? Or it's just a ring ? Not that it matters anyway.

I think the problem here (this is not a problem it's just how it is) is that your were probably her first serious boyfriend and now she thinks she's missing out on stuff and wants to try new things etc.

You should do the same. I'm not even gonna bash that you acted totally beta etc. because everyone goes through this.

Since I understand that you have social circle together it's gonna be tough not to see her. But this is what you HAVE to do. It's not an option. I can tell you also that you probably WON'T listen to anyone here.

But anyway an advice. Tell her that you need time (don't say how much) and go no contact. But don't do this to get her back or anything. Do it because you need a clear head. If you do it with the purpose of getting her back, you will fail. And start seeing other girls. Hope this helps a bit.

i didnt propose i told her i was planning on but like to late now lol, and told her i wanted her to keep the ring and take it as a promise she will see the old me again cause she told me she feel out of love with the guy i turned into:/

and yea think i was her first serious relationship and im almost sure she still has feelings u get to no someone like that if your with me,

she just isnt missing me enough to come back cause im still around and social when i see her, so guess i need to blank her completely and see if she misses me enough to come back if she doesnt question answered i guess,

its still wierd with the ring though :/ u can tell she doesnt wanna give it back it means something to her and she is ignoring her mates advince which is rare so it means something serious...

so im sure she will contact me when its time to get it resized and fitted and when that happens how should i act we are just mates and its just a normal fun day out getting a bit of jeweler fixed or should i game her on this day :/

_________________
Never take a chance, in missing a chance....
Passed Mysterys 5 for 5 infield mPUA challenge, now looking into other games e.g. day, txt, online etc...
P.I.M.P.
Personality, Initiate, Maturity, Passion...

The problem is that you think about how you should act. You should act how you feel. But that won't help you here. But if you try to act in some way else then how you feel than you won't be congruent. If you are a professional actor then you can do this, but if not than it will drain your energy and you will snap at one point which will make the whole things 10 times worse.

You need to distance yourself from her, but genuinely. Try to do other stuff which makes you not think about her. The best thing to do is to get a new girl.

About the ring stuff, it's not a big deal here you can do whatever you want with this. The ring won't make her come back anyway.

Possibly THE two most unattractive things a guy can do in front of a girl and you did BOTH!!

1) Being indecisive - If you're going to ask a girl to marry you, you don't do it just after you've asked for a break. You're sending mixed messages to her and she's confused as fuck. I don't blame her. If you want to propose to a girl, you do it when you're on an emotional high, everything is going great, you're getting on great and MOST IMPORTANTLY you have the balls to ask her to marry you, not "Oh, I was thinking of asking her, but then chickened out". Either do it and ask her like a man, or don't mention it at all.

2) Crying - Girls do NOT react well to a guy crying, unless he is like 12 years old. Dude if you're thinking of asking this chick to marry you, she's thinking "oh shit will I spend the rest of my life with this emotionally weak guy who doesn't know if he wasn't to break up with me or marry me"

I've been there, I cried in front of my wife when my marriage ended and it pushed her further away. Then I grew a pair of balls and started seeing other women. Now she wants to get back with me! True story.

that's not strictly true. at the end of my relationship with my fiance - when she was moving her stuff out of our apartment - i finally broke down and cried in front of her. it was something she'd been waiting to see for years she said as she thought i was emotionally retarded...

But... she still broke up with you, right?

No offence btw.

none taken.

it was me who broke up with her. the tears were guilt.

One isolated occasion of crying is fine. But to do it in the circumstances described by the OP, it's definitely not a good idea.

crying is the worst worst worst if its not over a death, you can not recover from it.