She didnt message me all day, but i didnt message her all day either.

She told me that her phone was dead and that she has been thinking about me all day. She said "please dont be mad, please".

I havent repliet yet, what you think

Im trying to find the balance. She is messaging me a lot right now. Saying i look sexy, and I look good. I am nervous if i back off too much she will see that she is trying and i am not reciprocating. I am trying to find the balance.

Anything I should say and should not say.

I am reading her messages and taking a bit to answer. She is going out tonight as well.


Every part of me wants to say, hey baby, hope you have fun tonight and i love you and wish iw as there.

But i know if i say that breezy would shove his fist up my ass. What do you think

LMAO! I'm not into that sort of thing- at least with a guy, with a girl...hmmmm.
*FACE PALM* AGAIN!!

DO NOT tell her that!!

Just be polite and concerned in your communication with her, not lovey-dovey. Let her WONDER why you have STOPPED showing affection, until she asks you why OR starts become more clingy, then you will KNOW she is genuine and REALLY cares for you/loves you ("likes you for the moment"). Just say stuff like "I hope you're doing ok" then BACK THE FUCK OFF for a day or two ignoring her- YES DO IT. Just don't give her more attention than she gives you. You should aim for around her- 70% attention, you- 30% attention. I'm dead serious. If she asks "why you are keeping in contact less", just tell her "you are busy" (make up an excuse for being busy). If she busts your balls or gets mad, HANG UP on her and break off ALL contact until SHE contacts YOU again.

yo, so we just SPAM.

And she was acting distant again so i was like okay you know what, im fed up, here im going to give you time to yourself and ive got some thinking to do.

and she was like no please dont distance yourself, please, if you do that i would like cry.

and she was like, you wont distant right?
i know you deserve to be told everyday how great you are and special.

I told her what she was before, and how like she put me in a tough situation and any other guy would message her every single day being clingy and i was lucky (thanks to you guys) i had control and gave you your time to figure it all out. and she still does she says. She kept saying dont be distant and i said, im right here... i always was, it was you who backed off.

so im thinkign right now, how should i play it, should i be there for her to make it go back to the right rythm or do i back off now.

I want her craving it, and wanting me.

And her telling me she wants me in the future and needs me like before.

What do you think?

She is going out tonight with friends and said she will message me later before bed

IGNORE HER!! You also did the right thing here- for once. Good Job!!! She is trying to manipulate you again- DO NOT LET IT HAPPEN!!
Just make HER BEG for YOUR forgiveness before you show her any affection. After she does (you know she wants you), then you can switch affection/communication back to 50/50. But if she distances herself again, YOU DO THE SAME!! until SHE gets the fucking MESSAGE. God, this is why I don't do relationships...

Hey,

How did she try and manipulate me?

also i just found out she told her friend that "she saw me mad for the first time", I dont know if thats a good thing or not, but what the fuck.

Feel like to my face its good then to her friends it s like...

- Think twice dude. If you are not ready to commit yourself in a serious relationship, don’t push it. Ask her also if she’s ready too. Because that would be a risk and it will make more difficult for both of you. Make sure for it, so that when time comes, no one blaming each other because of having a wrong decision.

okay, and tonight when she messages me everything that she is about to, do i reply, or just read it and ignore?

also is that good that she is telling her friends she saw me angry?

She is sending me message and i am sending her messages, when she tells me i love you i back off, i am too nevous i might back off too much, and I am too nervous i am sending her too much. Just finding it hard to find the balance, and do I not message her the next few days?

She is telling me she loves me now and sending me snapchats when she is out and it sounds really good.

You know... now that she is doing this... its like she is doing it because i had to point it out to her, not that because she wants to.

I know its like, ahh dude choose your battles, but im trying to understand, do you think she really does love me and did all along, and right now she is doing it cuz i said i would leave.

I mean the way I act now, do i not give her affection at all because i want to feel like i have the best gf like before.

You've already lost her dude.
You are way too needy and even if she dismisses it now, it will build up.
There is nothing you can do and I will bet anyone here that despite any actions you may take, this relationship is doomed. You ARE needy, which is the worst thing a bf could be and your relationship will slowly become a burden for her.

Okay, that last post by neo kind of scared me.

I backed off from her, she told me she loves me and that i am so right for her and she was thinking about me all night. I didnt reply saying anything along those lines. Just that i hope she had a good night and is doing well.

The thing is, i dont feel natural right now, that i can message her whenever i want and do whatever i want and have no consequences, right now i feel like i need to back off still, right?

Do you guys think i have lost her, honestly.


I am scared that she will get fed up, i dont know if this is really her, or the her trying to prove herself and just say it cuz she wants to.

What do you think?

Jesus, you are thinking about this waaaaaaaaaaay too much!

Just back off, quit with the mushy shit and get some hobbies.

Do you have a benchmark on her?

What is a benchmark?

Benchmark is a series of feelings you get from her from the 1st date all the way up to HIGH INTEREST including hugging, kissing and fucking. The highest you could achieve should be in a scale of 100% like you could do no wrong and that sex can be anything you want and like. You're the boss and she's there to make you a man. These series of feelings are what I call the benchmark. These feelings happen to tie into your gut feeling too! Gut feeling is fairly accurate.

From there, you are supposed to push her to the NEXT level and usually that's reserved towards LTR where the feelings become more spiritual than physical. It's a different feeling and the scale much more different that what a usual PUA can. Think of it like Usain Bolt. He's a PUA. He's fast and agile and can score lots of women. But that's his level as a sprinter in a running sport. But then, there's a marathoner who does runs faster in longer distances. He can last a lot longer. That's a guy in a LTR. A sprinter has a different speed benchmark to qualify than a marathon runner can.

So what is your benchmark on this girl. What's your really HONEST (no ego) feeling of her now? Is it the same feeling like you were dating her on her 5th to 10th date, before you sealed the deal with her as GF? Or is it closer to the 1st date. If it's closer to your 5th date feeling of her, then perhaps you have a chance. If it is less, then walk away. I use this benchmark because it's easy for me to assess truthfully how she's into me. Some people call it interest level in her -- much the same. But benchmark is more accurate because you have experienced this feeling on the way up and then down.

Just like a sprinter or a marathon runner trying to qualify for the Olympic trials representing their countries, they too have to meet specific benchmarks. If you don't meet the benchmarks, you are making a fool out of yourself trying again and again in vein for nothing.

Hope this helps.

I don't know whether she really loves you or not. She is manipulating you by saying 'I love you' all the time, just so you will respond to her...continue to ignore her. Keep communication 70/30 as I said. I am not repeating myself all over again. You simply aren't getting the message and you are NOT taking my advice, so I'm not giving you anymore. If you REALLY want to be with this girl. You NEED to close the distance between each other- either she moves closer to you or you move closer to her. There is NO other solution. Being needy whilst in a long-distance relationship is attraction suicide.