Yeah bro, don't say that crap. It's time to man up and distance yourself everytime she gets short with you. You see how once you told her you loved reading her messages and how you missed her, she went cold on you? Maintain your mother fucking frame. Even when she starts to whine and hiss, don't send her lovey dubby crap.

PS: I love how she panicked the moment you ignored her. Lawl. Keep it up to regain control.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

ignore her. she will try to use you as an emotional tampon until she finds someone else. she gets cute and lovey-dovey and then the second you respond she gets cold. its classic. resist this at all costs.

Okay, fuck. Are you sure not sending that is a good idea? By sending that I tried to get her to see that I am moved on from the past and me and her are okay, and I am understandable of her situation.

I just sent her a message, very brief about my day and hope she slept well.. so she doesnt think i cut contact completely.

I dont want to play games, I want her and I to be like we were before.

How come before it worked so well and now it isnt. This is literally killing me and consuming me

Her last message was "I love you". I want her to keep saying it and get her back to that. Do i not say it back? If i dont reply to that, it looks like i dont want it or need it and she will be like ... whatever

My friend, I know you don't want to play games and you want to be honest, because you feel like you know this girl...but you don't.

You have to play the game -- you don't want to play games, you want to be honest and pour your heart out like they do in the movies, but reality doesnt work like that. Every relationship at this stage is about a balance of power. Every time you send her a message about how you're thinking about her, or love her, or want the best for her, is just an affirmation in her mind that she can get you back whenever she wants. I know what you're going through, I know it sucks. But you don't know what shes thinking or doing beyond what she texts or says to you. Think about it. Actions speak louder than words.

Hey, thanks man. I know you are right. Thats what kills me, I dont know what she is doing. She is new to this all, I am her first boyfriend, first everything... So i dont think she knows how to play the game, or that she is playing any game in fact. I dont want to have power and I dont want her to have power, I want it to be equal.

We use to tell each other how much we love each other all the time, how much I mean to her and everything. Now its nothing. We were the best part of each others days, and now I have to "ignore her", "back off", "tell her you will call and then dont".

Can you explain again one more time how this is right, and have any examples how this works (remember this is long distance).

Also, her last message was to me "i love you", she sent that in an audio note. She use to say a lot more than that, but Ill take it. I dont say it back? How do i get her to be crazy about me again?

Urgh. Guys this is a perfect example of why severe Oneitis and being needy makes it impossible to have a healthy relationship. You can give him perfectly actionable advice and he will just disregard it and keep being his needy self.

No man. I will and have been following your advice! I havent messaged and I havent said I love you, I backed off, I havent mentioned anything and I m making her message me instead of me messaging her. I just want to know whats the final point, like when does it work. When do i go back to normal?

Shes not consciously "playing a game", but shes keeping you on a string until she can find someone else. Did she love you intensely once? Yes. Did she constantly want to fuck you? Yes. Did you guys have something "special"? No. This shit happens all the time, I've seen it in my own experience, with my friends, and on this forum.

You remember those times she was intensely in love with you and you want that back, which is a normal feeling. Unfortunately, attraction for women works in different ways than it does for men. For whatever reason its not there anymore, probably because she sees you as replaceable and reliable insurance in case she doesn't find something better. But since this girl is probably pretty attractive since you are worried about her, she probably has a bunch of other guys hitting on her, one of which she might be interested in. At this stage of your relationship, if she wants you two to be together she will make it known. A simple "I love you" doesnt count.

So basically. There is nothing I can do?

Even If i message her less, and all that jazz. Anything I can do is hopeless

She IS playing the game, ALL girls are NATURALS at relationship game. But it is a subconcious process for them.

There is no final point, even when it DOES work, if you "go back to normal" she will just see how needy you are again and eventually dump you. You have to be alpha, ALL THE TIME. Alpha's do not ask their girlfriend whats wrong, they don't ask their girlfriend "why wont you tell me those things you used to blabla".

It may or may not work. Either way, what is for certain is that pushing more will ensure you get buried six feet under much faster than any other alternative. Just continue doing what we're telling you to do to regain control. I know that you say you want a 50/50 relationship power-wise; that is understandable. However, right now she's the one with the majority of the power. You need to at the very minimum regain your slice of the pie. I also know you don't want to play games. Welcome to reality... To have any hope of returning to a healthy relationship, games MUST be played. May the best player win.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

You got caught in the "Quick Love Trap". Guy and girl have amazing time. Girl feels mushy and love feelings quick and through her actions and words, guy realizes this. Guy's feelings are increased and he gets caught up in the fantasy of being together forever only after 3 months. Girl sits one day and comes to reality. Thinks, it's only been 3 months...forever is a looooong time. Girl looks at guy who acts like he's ready for the long haul because he's been sucked into her emotions and feels smothered and pressured. Guy, confused and already attached gets needy and loses girl.

DONT EVER, LET A WOMAN PULL YOU INTO HER EMOTIONS.

You have one itis. It's gonna be tough to step back from that and be with her. You lost the second you yourself didnt realize her telling you she wanted to be with you forever was too much. Someone said it was a shit test, and I KINDA agree; your positive reaction signaled 3 months in you would be ready for a lifelong commitment.

You can freeze her out and act aloof but it's already over. Sorry....learn from it. Next time don't get caught up in things too fast and be realistic.

This is a very valuable thread. These responses are spot on, and this happens to way too many guys so listen to what they are saying. I hate to be disrespectful but you can totally sense the needyness and desperation in your posts. You are panicking and that is exactly what you shouldnt do. She senses that as well and that is not a good thing. You must take the above advice if you want to salvage anything. Good luck man...

Woke up to 0 messages from her this morning. My friend heard her say to her friends in school "and on SPAM he said". It sounds like its over. I dont want it to be.

I feel this thing in my stomach and my head, constantly draining me down. I have so much work and I cant even focus on it. I feel terrible.

I am skyping her later today.

Any tips