Hey guys, if you guys have read my previous post, you would know that I am having problem with this ONE girl for quite sometimes now.

I like this girl who is clearly not my cup of tea. Physically, she is not attractive at all, wide jaw, small boobs. etc you name it... she is just not very attractive physically. The only thing i can think of is that she has thin legs and nice lips. but thats it.

Personality wise, she is also not the kind of girl i am looking for. The list is very long, so lets just say we have different life-style. And I am looking for a girl who enjoy sex as much as I do, so we would both enjoy it. But this girl doesn't really care about sex, she enjoys it while she can have sex, otherwise she doesn't really care.

I admit that this girl is the ONLY girl I meet after I broke up with my ex. I admit I don't have a lot of choices,and this girl is the one that I had guts to approach because she wasn't that attractive physically. While there are some other prettier girls around who showed IOI and I could have approached them instead. But I decided to go with this one since she is not that attractive physically.

Basically what I'm doing right now is stuffing myself with food that I know I don't like to eat, but just for the sake of eating, I am settling.... while I can choose to drive down the road to get something that I really want....

Question is why do I want her so much, when I know she is not the kind/type I am looking for?

1. Low self-esteem from breaking up
2. Proximity to her
3. Ability to get her (Safe bet)
4. You miss regular sex, not want sex with this girl in particular.
5. See number 1

Problem is you are conditioned to think you are deserving of someone your own level of attractiveness, this is a limiting belief. (Something that you know isn't true but you believe it - How many times have you seen a hot girl walk past with some slob or chav on her arm and thought "how the hell did he get her?").

You say this girl isn't that attractive yet you are attracted to her, your eating problem is most likely the result of you trying to balance this invisible scale of her level of attractiveness against your own which you perceive to be higher, by junk eating/not eating things you like you are slowly justifying in your mind she is of worthy value for you to go for/that you like things you don't usually like.

Solution:
1. Realise this is what you are doing.
2. Realise there is NO level of physical attractiveness necessary to get "hot girls". (Read up on limiting beliefs).
3. Stop the junk eating and turn your negative actions into positive ones - go to the gym to up your inner confidence and subconsious level of girl you think you can attract.
4. Imagine you got with this girl, would oyu be any happier apart from the regular sex returning, no probably not, you would just feel bad for devaluing yourself.
5. Don't take this too personally - hopefully my tough love no bullshit approach will help you.
6. Finally - look at gamblers stealth seduction on youtube- this has been by far the most influential thing i have learnt in my game so far.

Hope this helps,

Jake

Thanks for reply, Hope I can get over this and move on soon..... oh and btw, I apologize for my poor english lol. I don't have an eating problem. I am just trying to use eating as an example to show what i mean by wanting something that I know Im not interested in having lol

He understood the eating analogy.

Nonetheless, stop thinking with your brain and do what feels right. If you're attracted to her, I don't see what the problem is.

If you had feelings for a man and were attracted to him, but are straight and you are a male, would you try to get rid of that feelings because you tell yourself you're jot supposed to like guys? Extreme example, and your situation is no where near as extreme, so embrace it.

_________________
A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.

18 Body Language Mistakes I Bet You're Making

But the thing is, she rejected me and say "lets just be friends" after we go out for almost 4 months. I feel very bad right now because I got rejected by someone who is clearly not my cup of tea.... But I shouldn't be feeling sad at all, cuz she is not who I want....

Women pick up on social cues much more than men do in general (without training of course - read "Joe Navarro - What every body is saying" to get a leg up). She could probably tell you were not fully committed to her, and to be fair to you, this is a good thing.

Go get what you want - don't accept less than you think you deserve, otherwise you will end up feeling like this all the time. Make the most of your day everyday.

Here's a quote that quite profoundly illustrates my point: Stop worrying about what was and go for what you actually want.

"Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course?
Each of us has such a bank. It's name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off is lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to a good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against "tomorrow."
You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success."