Friendzone after multiple sexual encounters?



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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:23 pm 
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Hey guys, I am in the predicament. I dont like reading long story' on here so I will shorten it out.

Met a girl through friends, She became interested in me obviously. I was not even trying to pick her up. She starts giving the signs that she is interested. We talk through the next couple weeks and i throw down A massive amount of comfort. At this point I explain I already know whats going to happen, That i am a mastermind and social engineer. This turns her on, The idea that I am controlling her. She starts to get semi-clingy. I take her to bed. Things keep going well after, She keeps hitting me with compliments and wants to be around me everyday. I am sure to stay busy and confident and not allow her to see me everyday. This continues for a few months. Sex here and there, Compliments abound. She kept acting clingy like crazy, but she kept covering it up really well.

Then it hit, I tarted really liking her. So long story short, I got oneitis over her and chased hard! I chased hard for a couple months, Her clinginess made me comfortable enough to bring mine out, Bad idea! So eventually we took a break because I was to easy. About a month. We stayed friends because I do enjoy this girl regardless, But it's still tearing me up inside.

It's been about 3-4 month since we took the break. We have been happy good friends since then. I have not gotten clingy or overinvested. Alas though, She is acting like a roller coaster. for 2 weeks she will make plans with me and setup dates herself, Text me first and everything. Then randomly he will go cold again, Then warm, Then cold. I feel like she may be stringing me along because she still enjoys the attention I give her.

So i was thinking about freezing her out. I am always worried the girl will dissapear when I detach and stay away. Typically it seems to work with her.

Question is I guess. With the massive first impression I left (She even said multiple times that it was fate that we met), Amazing sex on multiple occasions, And being amazing friends still. Is it possible to get her back? If so where do I go from here. I am essentially in a neutral zone with her at the moment.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:38 pm 
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Anything is possible man. Don't stress it much though as this game is a game with an element of randomness. Live, learn, and increase your odds.

Also, every girl is different and knowing the best answer or course of action is based on the girl as an individual.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 2:08 am 
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For sure, That makes sense completely. Im a huge bruce lee fan, So using what works and leaving the rest behind is in my nature. Learning from mistakes and such. This is my learning grounds.

So i wonder, Do you have any advice as to where to move from here with her?

Short summary would be the last 4 months we have been typically good friends. Going to restaurants or movies weekly to bi-weekly depending on the schedules. It has been causing me some undue stress, But I do enjoy the just friend company of her as well. I recognize though that I am idealizing her, But cannot seem to help it whether I recognize it or not. So good friends, She is generally comfortable with me again. As friends anyway.

So from that standpoint with a hypothetical "Average Girl". Which direction do I go with the PUA stuff. I do not Kino her very much, Physically, At all. So I wonder if that may be a good route. Or if there is some specific game's we shoud use for getting girlfriends back? Like maybe icing her out? Just wondering what you might suggest?

Thanks for posting BTW, I appreciate it :)


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:18 pm 
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you stopped being a challenge so she lost the attractiveness she had for you. remember that a girls attraction for you is fleeting. its not like once youve attracted her shes just gonna be into you forever. it comes and goes. girls are fickle. the good news about that is that you can get it back. the bad news about that is that it means you can never ever take it for granted. even for a second.

heres the problem as i see it: youre not in the drivers seat of this relationship. youve let her set the terms and the rules and have just blindly accepted them, probably using some logic to justify it to yourself like 'having her in my life as just a friend is better than not having her in my life at all'. this is unacceptable. take back your power in the relationship. immediately.

heres how you do it. first, decide exactly what you want out of the relationship. second, dont accept something other that that. its really simple. in this particular case, itd probably work best for you if you just tell her what you want.

once you make the decision to do so, its imperative that you not go back on your principles. that means you have to be prepared to ultimately lose the girl. if you do lose her, its certainly not the worst thing in the world. first of all, she may come back on your terms after she realizes she misses you. in the event that she doesnt accept the terms and you do lose her forever, its fine. itll ultimately save you a bunch of heartache and grief. then at least you can move on with your life and start interacting with girls that actually want you to fuck them.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:04 pm 
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She was into you in the beginning, loved your energy, your charm, and what you stood for...

Then, you started to like her and got 'oneitus'. Now you're in friend zone.

The logical explanation is that your oneitus caused her to lose attraction.

...No, fuck that.

It was your perceived problem with oneitus that actually caused the problem man. It was your fear, that you weren't in control and that there is an inherent problem with liking one girl too much. Like any girl, she will pick up on this hesitation in you, this fear and insecurity, and then stop feeling it with you.

Are we to believe that you can't be a goddamn man and really be into a chick and express it? That there is this constant competition happening underneath every interaction and its all about power and control? Only if thats the game you want to play. And that will lead you to never truly being vulnerable with a woman. And when I say vulnerable, I don't mean a pussy or clingy. But a guy that is confident enough to show his cards, his intentions, put his balls on the table and not be afraid that a woman can destroy him.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:53 pm 
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Quote:
you stopped being a challenge so she lost the attractiveness she had for you. remember that a girls attraction for you is fleeting. its not like once youve attracted her shes just gonna be into you forever. it comes and goes. girls are fickle. the good news about that is that you can get it back. the bad news about that is that it means you can never ever take it for granted. even for a second.

heres the problem as i see it: youre not in the drivers seat of this relationship. youve let her set the terms and the rules and have just blindly accepted them, probably using some logic to justify it to yourself like 'having her in my life as just a friend is better than not having her in my life at all'. this is unacceptable. take back your power in the relationship. immediately.

heres how you do it. first, decide exactly what you want out of the relationship. second, dont accept something other that that. its really simple. in this particular case, itd probably work best for you if you just tell her what you want.

once you make the decision to do so, its imperative that you not go back on your principles. that means you have to be prepared to ultimately lose the girl. if you do lose her, its certainly not the worst thing in the world. first of all, she may come back on your terms after she realizes she misses you. in the event that she doesnt accept the terms and you do lose her forever, its fine. itll ultimately save you a bunch of heartache and grief. then at least you can move on with your life and start interacting with girls that actually want you to fuck them.

I agree with this.


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