Oneitis wants to be Friends with Benefits



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PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 12:14 am 
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What I believe is that she's ok with hooking up with me if it ever gets to the point again the way it did not long ago. But this won't be a sober booty call situation.
Wrong. She doesn't want to schedule sex, but that doesn't mean she only wants it if she's drunk. Get her alone near a bed and go for it. How? You are friends, so invite her over to do something friendly: watch a movie, listen to some music (how did people get casual sex before home cinema/music systems?), admire your awesome Smurf figurine collection, etc. Don't keep this friend-thing going on too long or she'll lose interest; stop playing it soft and start plowing it hard.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 12:31 am 
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What I believe is that she's ok with hooking up with me if it ever gets to the point again the way it did not long ago. But this won't be a sober booty call situation.
Wrong. She doesn't want to schedule sex, but that doesn't mean she only wants it if she's drunk. Get her alone near a bed and go for it. How? You are friends, so invite her over to do something friendly: watch a movie, listen to some music (how did people get casual sex before home cinema/music systems?), admire your awesome Smurf figurine collection, etc. Don't keep this friend-thing going on too long or she'll lose interest; stop playing it soft and start plowing it hard.
So we texted a bit today and I just sent one saying "I'm going to be at x bar with friends I'd you want to come by" she hasn't answered back and it's been almost an hour. I assume she's working out. I want to ask her to hang out more but I don't want to be needy.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:22 pm 
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I'm far from being an expert, but seeing how much emotions and effort you invest here, I strongly recommend, abandon the FWB thing for your own good. In the short run it may give you pleasure, but in the long run you are likely to end up hurt.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 5:37 pm 
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Here's what happened last night. I was at the bar with friends and she showed up later. She knew I was there. When she arrived she ran up on me from behind and gave me a big hug. She seemed really excited. She felt my stomach and complimented my abs. So we hung out I bought a round for all of them. I was doing mild kino. Not much game at all with her. I bounced around the bar. I would go socialize with a bunch of people and come back. At the end of the night her friends were outside waiting for her. She was walking the length of the bar and I walked toward her head on, grabbed her and kissed her. Without saying anything. At first she seemed a little nervous but after a second she got comfortable seeing as her friends weren't around. She doesn't want her bro to find out about us. We walked out holding hands and I left her at her friends car. She texted me after asking me to go to the diner. Which I did for a bit. Then I left due to boredom. She texted me at almost 4 am about an hour and a half after I left asking why I left but I was asleep.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:10 am 
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good progress man. was that the first time you kissed?

I'm going through a similar situation so i'll be watching this thread!


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 2:55 pm 
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That was not the first time we kissed. It's the first time since she said back in December that she didn't want to be more than friends. And it's the first time since she said she wanted to be fwb.

Here's more progress. I asked her to come over and watch a movie at my place and she agreed and came over. I have to admit I was pretty AFC here with how long it took me to escalate kino. We had to leave by 11 because our friends wanted to hang out. After the movie we were talking and I maneuvered myself into a good cuddle position. We started making out and I got her down to her birthday suit. She was really into it but we simply had no time. Her friend was waiting outside. She wants to have sex I know she didn't stop because she didn't want to. I took too long to go for it. I was really into our conversation. I will have to wait til next time to hang out with her. I surely will seal the deal. I'm confident that she is into it. I don't believe she could have these relations with me without having some sort of feelings boil up.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 9:31 pm 
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I also think you're on the right way, so good job man. One last piece of advice: I understand you might want a relationship with this girl, but don't rush into it, let things evolve naturally. Keep your head on your shoulders, and just enjoy the sex as well as the other time spent together.


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I'm far from being an expert, but seeing how much emotions and effort you invest here, I strongly recommend, abandon the FWB thing for your own good. In the short run it may give you pleasure, but in the long run you are likely to end up hurt.
No risk, no gain.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 10:03 pm 
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I'm not going to bring up emotions with her. I will simply just live in the now and enjoy her company. I just hope she builds feelings for me.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 8:00 pm 
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Quickie update. She's still very social. We hooked up at my place after watching the movie. Texts me every day. She sends me pics and snap chat stuff. Nothing sexual really. I bought tix for a hockey game so she and I are going the day before her bday.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:50 pm 
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I was in Atlantic city with her this weekend and she and I went to the hot tub by ourselves. We just talked a lot and she asked me something interesting. Idk if it was a shit test. She asked if I thought that I was different. It was kinda random. She meant if I felt I was different from most people. I said yes. And she said she thought the same but we really didn't elaborate on the subject much. I don't know what that means or if its a good thing. Am I putting too much thought into that? We hung out the whole night and separated from the group. We gambled together and had exciting moments and shared a kiss later on that night. Nothing more.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 4:38 pm 
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We go out to bars together and she sees me flirting around. I made out with her friend in front of her.
NICE JOB! I think this is so key as to why youre getting a chance again. I know one guy who married his one itis. It literally took him years to make her his girlfriend. He kept seeing other women the whole time he was after her. Lots of women LOL
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She drives my car back (two seat convertible stick shift). She asked to drive it because she's into cars like that.
MIata?

I think it was Savoy who said if you want her to be your girlfriend fuck her ASAP. Think about how many times you've heard women say "I don't want casual sex because I get attached" Want this girl to remember you FOREVER? Be her first. I think whats holding you back is you. Your oneitis is causing you to place her on a pedestal and you're afraid to take her virginity until its the perfect time. It sounds like she is ready for the experience and if you don't man up someone else is going to.

You had her alone in a hot tub in Atlantic City and didn't close??? C'mon Bro!!! You already told the forum how youre putting your heart on the line with this girl. You are worthy of being her first. Stop holding yourself back and giver her what she wants.

We all want to see your next post saying mission accomplished! (and that things are moving along good towards you making her your girl)


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:32 pm 
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That was a great post above. Tomorrow night is the big night. We are going out to the devils hockey game. I paid for the tix. Her birthday is Wednesday so I did this under the guise of being a birthday gift. I going to go for the close. I will have her meet at my place and ill drive us from there. You get the idea. I know I've messed up by not closing quicker. I just have to stop giving a shit and go for it.

I couldn't close her in the hot tub because it was in a hotel public pool area. Loads of people.

On a side note we were at a bar this weekend and I flirted with a girl right in front of her. The other girl is someone I know and she was talking really close to my face. I could of k closed her there but I didn't want to do that in front of her.

Wish me luck tomorrow guys. I hope to give a good update on Wednesday morning.

P.S. I drive a 2005 Honda S2000. I did have a miata on my shopping list but the s2k won out. Lol.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 12:34 pm 
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Here's the report. We went to the game. It went well for the most part. Good conversation. Exciting game moments. We then went to a bar after where it was more one on one talking. I just enjoy her company. I didn't kino or escalate much. It was my fault idk what was into me. We got back to my place where her car was parked. It was late and she wanted to go home. I asked her to come in and she said she's just gonna go home. So we had a kiss good night.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 6:42 pm 
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Sorry Eerie I was imagining you in a private hotel room hot tub and not closing lol. If she is really a virgin it's good that you're also not pushing too much to get her into bed. Im swimming over my head at this point and have no more advice for you. You could screw it up by pushing things to far with other women in front of her or maybe that would make her realize she might lose out on a great guy. Maybe she is hoping you'll get past her resistance and be the one. Maybe you already waited to long and things are cooling down. Hopefully it was a sizzling hot kiss. We are all pulling for you, but one thing I would do is keep other women in the mix at this point.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 9:03 pm 
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Thanks for your support. I'm really hurting over this girl. We make out here and there. This past saturday I pulled her away from the group and made out with her. She has hung out with me twice at my place. We went to the hockey game. We are friends with benefits really.

I texted her today and I asked how she felt about me. She said nothing changed and asked me if that was ok. I said yeah. I asked if she likes coming over and hanging out. She said yeah and asked if I mind if she comes over. I simply said I enjoy hanging out with her. It ended at that.

I'm hurt that I still havent gotten feelings out of her. I'm going to try and stay plutonic and sure I'll continue hanging out with her and making out if it happens. However, I need to get out there and find girls to take my mind off of her. Right now it's hard to imagine finding someone else to care about as much, but I have to try. I'm going to flirt with other girls in front of her if the opportunity arises. Maybe that will make her feel something. I need to get out and sarge. I'm going to have to set a date for myself to just go to the mall and start approaching women. I have to get her off my mind. The anxiety is killing me.

If it were up to me, I'd be a sociopath. I hate feeling for girls.

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