Hello,

So, about me, a 24 y.o. Indonesian of Chinese descent living in Germany since 3 months ago. Got quite a grasp of the local language so language problem is sorted out. 161 cm tall (5'5"). First sex with a pros at 22. Never had girlfriends before, but have made out with a fairly cute housewife desperate for sex due to her husband's temporary erection dysfunction. Used to suffer from multiple oneitises.

Used to browse many of those sexual advice out there but none worked since they don't cover the core aspect of approaches, let alone personal experiences. Have been here since a week and I find the site pretty much eye-opening.

That's all about it, I guess. Off to the journal.


Ricky

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Trying to sarge in the library of the uni. Looking around, it was packed with ladies busy with their work, headset in their ears and so on. I was there for an hour, with packs of lessons to learn from. There you go:

I took a book in the law section, pretending to read it beside a HB5 on the same table. I was asking if the chair was free and she pointed to the table beside it, which was completely free so I pretended to read the book and ejected after 2 minutes so as not to look creepy.

Then to the other section, I was screening through the books as I encountered a girl of south Indian origin whom I had sighted 2 nights before; kind of a deja vu as it was at the same place. I nodded at her to which she returned, then said this when I stood behind her, "We saw each other many times, didn't we?" to which she like nodded rather cautiously. Not a good sign. Out.

I headed to the philosophy section, where there's a HB 7 solo on her table doing her homework. I noticed she checked me out three times, but I didn't look back at her so as to look cool. But as I went through her table to look at her, she put her eyesight away and I assumed she had lost interest in me. Oh well.

On my way to Russian history section, I noticed a HB 7.5 who worked there and was about to go down through the lift with a big book tray. She checked out at me twice, but too bad the chance wasn't there as she had to go down. Alright then.

Then I got back to the main section, to the economy section where I had spotted a HB8 checking me out before on a table, and it turned out she was still there, and next to her was free this time around! So I pretended to pick up a book, went to the table and asked if it was free, and it was! So I sat, read the book for like 5 minutes, did other stuffs, and as I saw her, she turned out to be busy with headset in the ears. Then I asked her if she studied economics, which she said no, and I just said "Okay" as I had no idea where to get the talk flowing, and she plugged in the headset again.

But soon thereafter I spotted the library employee I had noticed earlier across the section and decided to give it a shot. So I got there browsing the books and as she passed by I was asking if the books she had to put into the shelves were new and she said yeah. Then I asked her if it was hard work, to which she said, "I work here" (she appeared to have heard me wrong, but well, German is my third language and probably she mistook that for my accent). I answered smilingly saying, "I know" and she left to return to the tray.

Then after 3 minutes we met again in another tray, this time as she passed through, I managed to get this convo:
R: Lots of book to sort out?
HB: 7 boxes today, but it's not the same every day.
R: Ah ok. You study here or what?
HB: Yeah I do, teacher college in Biology and English.
R: Ah alright.
HB: And you?
R: I do language course.
HB: Ah, how long have you been here?
R: Like 3 months. I'm still new here. Wanna check out how the library looks like as I don't go here pretty often.
But then came the thought to my mind that she's at work and she had shown me some signal by biting her bottom lip, so I'd better get her no quickly.
R: So listen, can I get your number or something so we can meet?
HB: (with an awkward smile) What for?
R: Well in case you're interested only....
HB: What about Facebook? You have that?
R: Yeah.
HB: So there you go..... so we'll write each other later ok?
R: Alright, see you around....

Then got home excited, only to find out that she handed me a fake account. Got sour by that, but not mad. At least I've got the morale of the story today, pretty much:
-don't go to a place exclusively to sarge (with some exceptions), better sarge-as-you-go, otherwise you will waste your time and probably reputation as you probably will look creepy.
-smile immediately when you spot a smile, if you're braver then flavour it with a wink.
-don't approach a babe at work unless the situation is favourable, she's probably in a hurry.
-introduce yourself!
-don't get into a girl in headset, she's in her own universe.

On the positive note, I just care less about getting rejected. Better than being a sexual loser forever. Looking forward to feedbacks from more experienced sargers though.


R

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Was on the street to look for costume idea for carnaval days next year, and as I was spotting this solo HB7 walking behind me and as it turned out she wanted to ride the same bus home, I came across the people from my uni and had to abandon my chase. Damn. On the positive note, I notice that women actually noticed me more than I had thought they did, including the HB7, probably due to improvement of my inner game after reading the forum intensively for a week since I had discovered it.

Plus it seems like coffee or stimulant might be indispensable to keep me awake. I used to be a no-coffee-drinker except in some occasions, but it seems like I have a good reason to change it....

Anyway, baby steps first: desensitisation with women, my target is like 5 for the next few days. No matter if I can score the number.

Reading the past experiences and tips from the experienced members here can be enormously encouraging!


R.

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Yet something new to learn today: so as to keep my eye contact unwavering, I've developed a technique to just stare at my target and enjoy her beauty, and let the excitement of getting stared back run into my system. Applied that today at a HB7 who was on the way to class. She looked at me twice, and as we're close to each other, I just managed to smile at her instead of saying hello, but she just stared at me, not sure out of good or creepy feeling. But I guess it's a progress, it's just a girl anyway and I didn't do anything nasty on her, not a good feeling about not getting reciprocated but why cares? Never imagined doing this a few weeks ago. It seems like I need to work on my "laser eyes" though.


R.

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

After I had finished writing my last post, I went out shopping and on my way to the bus stop I came across a HB6.5 passing by, first looking briefly at me and then looked away. I said hi but she didn't say anything back so I moved on.

Then at the bus stop I got into a HB7 waiting for the same bus. I asked her whether the bus would come soon and she looked at her cellphone and she said in 2 minutes. "Okay" I said, and there's a pause of like 15 seconds before I proceeded with talking about the climate this year around and some personal little questions. Would like to talk more about that, but the bus already came so we had to board in and my sitting place wasn't opportune enough to be able to talk to her so I passed. Then I exited at my destination, waved at her (she sat by the window), but it looked like she nodded and smiled like cautiously. Okay then....

There's a hot blonde girl working at the supermarket I was shopping at, but I stayed true with my own conviction (out of experience, see #2) about not gaming someone at active work, so I skipped her.

At the station next to the supermarket I noticed that the next bus would come in 25 minutes, so I decided to instead wait at the central station which had seats, which would be reachable in 5 minutes on foot, so I went there, put my shopping bag as I noticed a girl with a big suitcase, which I thought could make up a good opener, so I went to her and since there was the bus schedule behind her, I could pretend that I was actually looking for it instead of coming there to game her. Was waiting there for 3 minutes, looking at the suitcase 3 times, hesitating a bit, but then I told myself the holy credo "You wanna talk to her or wanna be a sexual loser forever?" and I suddenly convinced myself that I had to talk to her (a Middle Eastern looking HB7), I wouldn't get her number after all so why cared? So....
R: That's a big suitcase, where did you come from?
HB: Oh, I just went back from my parents' home in Bonn.
R: You study here?
HB: Yeah, English and philosophy.
General questions followed, it turned out she's a Germany-raised Arab Turk, then we're talking about the climate development in Germany of late, as I noticed her putting her hands with gloves inside the jacket pocket, and...
R: Why do you put your hands in your pocket as you're wearing gloves?
HB: I'm sensitive to cold.
R: That's ironic, isn't it? I mean I've been for the first time in winter in my life yet I just put on my gloves and you put your hands in your jacket.
HB: Well, I just can't stand it. It's like that.
A short pause. And...
R: Are you gonna go partying today?
HB: Haha well I just arrived and I had to learn for my exam.
R: Today?? During the festival days?
HB: Well there are sometimes more important stuffs to do.
R: Ah okay... and what would you do otherwise?
HB: Depending on the mood.
R: Rather at home or outside?
HB: It's not fixed...
Then came the bus. I came in first, asked if she needed some help with carrying her suitcase, which she refused politely. And then we were waiting at the middle of the bus, standing next to each other, as she excused herself, saying she would move to the rear of the bus, which I thought was strange but I allowed her anyway, and it turned out there's a friend of hers there, so game over.

End of the story today.

Lessons to learn:
-Say hello only if there's a reciprocal eyesight.
-Start talking immediately, don't overanalyse.

In any case, I need to work on my inner issue. I have to relook on the thread on how to improve my world view and stuff, so that I would feel more confident and eventually 'shine' more. Anyway I'm not sure whether the approach with the girl #3 has involved enough negs, that'll need the inputs from the experienced PUAs here, but until then, I'll look at the existing posts.

My personal expectation is to get laid from my own hunt within 3 months. We'll see....


R.

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

As I suspected, there was something wrong with my inner perspective. I was scrambling through the forum and found an article about thinking like an alpha male will actually shift you exactly into that view, and this also applies to life in general. Now that was enlightening. Now I'm looking forward to applying this right away and will see if this thought is going to stick forever in my head and the most important, if it'll work after all but I recall that it worked 6.5 years ago when I was at the university but for some reason I abandoned that view and sank into abyss which is where I'm in now.

Anyway, I agree that sleeping 7-8 hours a day can improve your mood and may boost your confidence and hence your aura or something. Do not under- and oversleep as it actually could mess your mood up. I've done it for 2 days in a row now and I noticed some improvement in that area even before I came across the article that I wrote in the first paragraph. Coffee might provide some mental stimulation, as my smart SPAM pointed out, but temporarily as it actually would tire you in the end, even more than without drinking coffee at all.

We'll see...


R.

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

There wasn't much happening today up until the evening. However I found it very helpful in my new personality skin as a pseudo-alpha, which seemed to have triggered at least two ladies starring at me today. I ignored the first one whereas I only smiled at the second one, to which she smiled back. Would like to say hello, but she was with a friend. In any case, this new world view has encouraged me to say hello to each of alone lady I encountered, and it seemed like they're actually receptive to that.

However, there'll be a 2 month semester break at the uni, which would mean the chance to meet new people would sink.

Lessons to learn: Be more flirty, say hello and with a wink as well. I was a bit too polite there.

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

So now I guess I'm immune to AA, since I realise rejection is absolutely nothing; I won't die, I won't get sick, nothing. Went today to library to talk to like 3 girls, went even to get the third one laughing, but I didn't get her number since my goal was desensitising myself. The first one was particularly friendly, went even as far as showing the books I should check out. The second one was sitting in the corner, and I was merely commenting about the advantage of sitting in the corner, to which she just laughed. I encountered the third one as I was getting past her and I asked about the area where we were at. I'm not at the mood by now to put up the details but I was very proud of myself today; I talked to the most stranger ladies in a day in my life. Looking forward to upping the number....

Next step: approaching with kino.

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Not much to write here. Went partying on V-day night with an alpha male that I had met from a uni social event earlier. I stayed overnight at his flat since it was 5 AM already that no bus was no longer in operation, and there I found out that during this event, two ladies gave him their number without him even asking! Damn, I then asked how he could become such an alpha male and after quite a while of explanation I found out at some point of his life when he was still a shy guy, he found out through his favourite artist to just not give a sh!t to what people say and suddenly it gave him all the confidence that apparently sucked in these girls. Not giving sh!t to people's saying. I apply this in my head and it appears that this has wiped out the main cause of my insecure feeling.

The day after I tried to sarge a HB7 on a sat-night at a bus stop. We managed to sit next to each other and talked about herself in a quite relaxed SPAM but too bad I didn't proceed to kino her (there was an acquiantance of her boarding in at the next station anyway, bitch shield risk) nor did I ask for her number. But what made me relieved was that ladies turn to be more open than I thought they were, which is quite enlightening.

In any case, I definitely need to work on my inner issue while at the same time familiarising myself with the game and I'm aware I have a long, long way to go given my current unemployment (which probably took a toll on my confidence), my terribly inexperience relative to my current age, quite lack of social contact and apparently the degree of friendliness of the locals (I've repeatedly heard that the locals aren't as open as people from other areas of Germany). Rome isn't built in one day, but I have to lay the bricks and at least I know now where I should lay them.

At the same time, I'm wondering if my apparent lack of sexual appetite actually takes a toll on my gaming. It's not like I don't like ladies. I just don't feel as passionate when seeing lady as I used to be until a few years ago; the M4A1 doesn't even stand up upon seeing a hot lady even though my eyes will focus on that. Could it be that the stress triggered by prolonged (2 years) period of unemployment has pounded on my sexual tension? Hopefully not. I have to find the answer for that, either from you guys or from myself.

R.

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Went shopping with sarging-as-you-go mentality in my head, this time with a pretty improved inner state of mind, I'd say. As I went home, I noticed this HB 6,5 waiting alone with two shopping bags. Was there for around 3 minutes without looking as psycho by walking eventually beside her while thinking of a good opener, until I settled for.....:
R: Going up?
HB #1: Yeah.
R: To (my stop) or what?
HB #1: No, to the uni.
R: You live there?
HB #1: Yeah.
R: (Looking at her shopping bag) Finished from shopping?
HB #1: Yeah.
Then stopped asking till the bus came, as I said, "Here comes our saviour", to which she laughed a bit.

Then I sat away from her, since it had gone awkward anyway; no use to continue it, I'd just risk lowering my value to her. As I sat myself, I found a blonde HB 7,5 sitting right beside me texting. I paused for like a minute till I decided to go for a plunge:
R: Going up?
HB #2: Yeah.
R: Where to?
HB #2: Uni.
R: What are you doing there?
HB #2: Sport.
R: Sport? I thought the semester had ended.
HB #2: Well, the lectures are all over, yes.
R: What do you study?
HB #2: Psychology.
R: Psychology....
This was the moment I felt like shit and stopped talking, since she was actually talking (if that's considered a talk after all!) to me in a rather cold tone and by the time she gave me her last reply, she continued texting rather than pausing and talking to me, implying as if I was boring and/or she didn't want my presence. So after 2 minutes, I grabbed my own phone and started replying the incoming texts that I ignored as I was pushing myself to talk to her. I think I could see her actually trying to check me out as I did it, but I didn't care even if she did because I thought it could probably be only my instinct-fed wishful thought. As I reached my stop, I stood up, turned and picked up my shopping bag, and decided to not to say bye to this one. In my AFC days (well, since I joined this forum I've become an RAFC so to say....) I would usually say bye, act nice and so on no matter how pissed I felt in my heart despite getting treated like a doormat, expecting her to reciprocate, if not trying to ask further. Not this time! So I turned back and noticed she was looking at me like twice, which compelled my eyes to look at hers, and that's where she said bye with a big smile. You won't find it in Germany, or at least in my city. I thought like, "Eh? So you've treated me like a statue along the way and now you say bye to me?" Out of politeness, with a forced smile (but in no way sincere) I said bye too and moved on.

Lessons to learn:
-Should've had a more lively opener.
-Should've asked more open-ended questions instead of those ending yes or no.
-Should learn how to talk more lively. I'm a damn lame guy!

Improvement:
-Braver to talk to ladies.
-More willing to express own emotions without seeking ladies' implicit approval.

What I noticed was, the approached ladies seemed to be pleasantly surprised that I took courage to talk to them. Well, there should be reasons why they put out those cosmetics and nice clothes to them, shouldn't there? And from this point, I don't mind anymore about targeting a certain numbers of women to approach, if I see an opportune situation to move in, I'll act on that and that's all about it. Go on and reject me!

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

PRELUDE

Got two approaches today:

One asked me to go for a coffee, she was a German girl who was once in Indonesia and speaks Indonesian, whom I met via Facebook by coincidence, let's call her HB-German Girl in Indonesia (HB-GGI). 22 y.o., I've once gone for a coffee with her and she invited me to her friends at a bar, but nothing happened as I was still new in the PUA training anyway. She's HB 6.5, looks pretty cute though, but since I've got to know her friends and one of them has also happened to have been also in Indonesia, I don't think I wanna get serious with her since it can cut all my ties with the rest of the group, to which she's quite close.

The other is a Lithuanian lady (HB-LL) who was actually in the same German class with me. Didn't have the chance to game her since she looked like not being open to talks with others. By chance, I met her when I was in a bookstore, and after a short talk she invited me for a coffee! And there she told me everything personal about herself, including her broken engagement, even though I didn't ask much about it. Probably because her bitch shield was off. I didn't have the chance to kino her on this occasion, but strangely, many times she came forward to ask me little questions, then I got sucked into long talks and eventually as I asked/suggested to her that we meet up, she always came up with excuses, to which I many times also got pissed off, assuming she simply didn't have the interest in me, so I would ignore her for days, and that's when she would come up to me with another petty question. Oh, she's HB 7.

The invitations and the follow up
HB-GGI once flaked me. Now she said she's in a better mood and asked if we could go around for a coffee. I said yeah probably this or next week, since I was busy (well I am busy, but I'll fake it even though I'm not :p, DHV ). Then she said okay and asked how I was doing, I replied, "Well good but I got a bit hectic here. Will tell you later ". Let's see if playing mystery will bring some success now.

HB-LL asked me how much I paid for my flat and I assumed she wouldn't ask that for a purpose on her side; she had raised unimportant questions in the past, to which I always replied in a length and by the time I asked her for a date, too late. Right. Not this time, armed with the knowledge got from reading the forum and especially the seemingly bitter experiences of the veterans here (thanks to AFC Daniel and Heartnet especially), I vow to use devices only to date-close when it comes to my prey. This time I said, "(my current cost), why did you ask?". Eventually, whatever the answer comes up, I'll say, "Let's go discuss about that in.....)". And that's where I'm going to try to sit next to her and apply my kino. But if this one fails too, I don't know what else I should do.

Past observations
Looking at my past, I realised that I had had more vibe back then; I knew where I was going in my life and in my head there was always my favourite music playing in my head even though I didn't think about it, and it gave me a stream good feeling, I think that's what gave me the vibe. It was so strong that I noticed many ladies actually got nervous in my presence, but since I was nervous too, all the attraction went out of the window. But that was until I was done sending my applications, afterwards I descended into doing nothing and that's where the vibe slipped away. This time I know how to maintain the eye contact, but the aura is no longer there. :S Badly need to revive it by finding works and so on.

Personal goals
Today I just attended my first ever Swedish class on a middle level, since I had learned the language by myself through self-teaching book when I was still in Indonesia. People seemed to get impressed by the fact I had spoken Swedish to nobody before. Now I have some goal to achieve: reaching upper level of Swedish language to be able to find some work in Sweden/Norway/Denmark (if you understand one of the languages, it shouldn't be very difficult to understand one another in these countries), since the outlook of getting a job for an Indonesian having graduated abroad seems to be shitty here in Germany.

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Development

HB-LL seemed to be not serious about dating. As I asked her about why she had asked the last question, she simply said she was just interested in it and nothing else. A flashback from our past meet-up reminded me that she works for a property firm, which probably explained everything. Heheh, nice, using sex as a weapon eh? Fuck. I'm screwed on this one, so I won't follow up unless she explicitly asks for a meet-up, which I think isn't likely to happen.

HB-GGI said she was busy with exam as I tried to set a date for our meet-up. I didn't tell much about my news so as to keep it for the direct face-to-face meet-up. Not much expectation here but I guess she's positive about me since she actually liked my Facebook posts.

Sarging pause?

It seems to me that this hunting has got overwhelming for the moment, with me not progressing in my other areas of life. Thanks to this forum, I've got a pretty solid knowledge about the art of pick-up, but at the same time there's a big gap in my inner game. I need to get on a solid footing of my life, which I hope will give me a radiance like I used to have when I was still a student. Till then, I don't think I'll post anything petty here, you know, about trying to talk to girl, all that.

Was it vibe?

I was lying in my bed as I recalled my past. That was a day when I was on my first day in Germany, when I felt damn good about myself, when I didn't pay a single shit to ladies, when my future looked damn bright, when I felt so good that I looked at ladies right in their eyes. I was so bright back then, that I recalled at least 5 ladies saying hello to me even as they were walking with their partner. You don't expect this in Germany, hell no. That's not to mention tens of ladies who got terribly nervous for my presence, which I still couldn't explain why. That's despite my terrible German, despite my unfavourable height, despite my poor knowledge about ladies, despite my terrible body language, despite my tendency to look away from their eyesight. I thought that's because the ladies in Germany were friendlier, even though they're not. This vibe just lasted one day though, as all those vibes somehow went out of the window given my unclear direction in my Germany stay back then.

I definitely need to revive that feeling, for good. Sarging without a solid inner game will just become a piece of shit, I reckon.

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Ok, I'm not totally off the sarging scene.

Was out from shopping when I came across a HB 7 as we're walking to the same bus stop. Didn't think to sarge her at first out of my own commitment, I was thinking just to strike a friendly talk by asking if our bus still took a while to come, then I asked her to walk together to the next bus station where the buses come more frequently and she came along. Small talk along the way and this one was pretty interested in me and was pretty open about herself, which I took as IOI. It turned out she had a BF already. I started to focus on eye contacting her only in the middle of the talk, a bit too late even though I eye-fucked her. No chance to kino her since I walked to the right hand side of her and my shopping bag was carried on my left hand. I was also a bit hesitant when I finally asked for her number as we had to split our way (using "hey why don't you give me your number...." instead of "can I have your number so that......"). And it turned out I couldn't find her Facebook, oh well. :/

Noticed improvement:
-Lack of hesitation at opening
-More flowing talk
-Better vibe (a bit, not much)
-More assertive
-Eye-fuck applied

Lessons to learn:
-Try to number close not at the end of the talk
-Eye contact should be done from the very beginning
-Time to introduce some negs, it was lively but a bit too agreeable, too little tension

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

I was in the city to buy some stuffs when I heard some Swedish from some girls. They then walked into a clothing store and I followed them. It took 3 minutes while I was pretending to look at the stuffs. Finally as I got close enough I managed to talk to one of them while the other two were in the changing room. Standard chit-chat in Swedish and it turned out they're on visit there. It seemed like she was awed that an Asian guy in Germany could speak their language . Since she only asked a question ("How did you learn Swedish?") and I had to buy some stuffs (and the other two were still inside), I wished them a nice stay in Germany and moved on. I should've kept the talk flowing. :/

On my way back, I noticed my vibe is getting improving. I spotted two ladies starring at me, one of them was even walking along with her apparently boyfriend or something. But I didn't pay much shit to them even though they're cute, so I moved on....

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Having read in details the experiences, stickies, and supposed-to-be-sticky threads on this forum and some similar sources out there, I assume that these are the crucial aspects necessary for one to go sarge and get successful:
-Solid inner game
-A good direction in life to add into vibe
-Multiple trial and errors for desensitisation
-Strong and appropriate body and voice projection to imply dominance
-DHV
-Negs, so as to make the ladies not feel dominant over men and to introduce some tension into the talks
-Kino
-Lack of the suggestion of neediness/oneinitis
-Assertiveness
-At least some dance skill
-Eye contact, and constant "eye fuck"
-Smile

The bolded parts are what I'm still missing. There's a party tonight, looking forward to applying these.

_________________
Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.