i'm a pretty postive and optimistic person. when i dropped my cell phone and cracked the touch-screen front, i decided i'd do my best to turn it around and use that as a topic of conversation, as when people see the broken glass, they tend to ask what happened.

because of this, i figured i might as well come up with a good story and work to use it as an opener. within the past two months, it has become my favorite opener and it actually makes me loathe to get a replacement phone.

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me: hey, how's your day going?

girl: pretty good, how about yours?

me: ahh, it's been ok, but look at what i did to my phone!

girl: omg, what happened?

me: so earlier today during my morning run (letting her know i work out), i saw this lady walking her dogs on the sidewalk. one of her dogs got away from her and started running down the street. i naturally started to chase after the dog to help, and ended up running all over the place (DHV). after a few minutes of chasing, the dog was nearing a really busy intersection, so i dove and grabbed the leash in a last-minute attempt before something serious happened. when i landed, i hit the asphalt really hard...

...and then about an hour later, i dropped my phone and cracked the screen.
---

at which point it usually takes the girl a few seconds to process what i just said, and then they laugh.


easy in from there, and super easy to use when waiting in line at a cafe, etc.

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from the 808 state with aloha!

At first I was going to criticize this opener, but after the "an hour later I dropped my phone"
- that's pretty clever.

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I don't f*ck fatties

$$$$$$$

If you workout, it shouldnt be something you have to point out to people. Unless you go for cardio..

Good opener though, I knew a buddy who could fix his screen for $20 but wanted the convo piece

another good way to open this one would be "hey can I borrow your cell phone real quick?" ... then when she asks why, go into the opener. otherwise, this is good shit. I'm gonna try this one. Now, I just gotta break my phone lol

Yep, time to break my phone. haha

Then when she doesn't get it, and doesn't realize the subtle humor of saying it happened an hour later, you are put in the awkward situation of having to explain why what you said was funny, otherwise she just continues to stand there staring at you blankly.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

If you happen to run into girls that are so dim-witted, better eject anyway. That might just be me, but women that are downright dumb are incredibly unattractive, regardless of their looks.

True, it's not an attractive quality. But a lot of girls say and do things that guys don't like at all. Doesn't mean you can't still sleep with them a few times before moving on to the next one.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

I'm a bit sceptical...
I don't think that if you show you phone to a girl, she's going to say "omg what happened???". In my experience, she's more likely to say some bitchy thing such as "Uuuuuuhm.... Okaaaay. Do you want me to help you?".
But you could fix this by already asking if you could use her phone. However, the rest looks interesting

This is a nice version of a classic joke. For all the guys about to break their phones: it doesn't have to be your phone, it could be any object that was broken or lost. Also, the story you tell doesn't really matter as long as it is interesting and holds the promise that what you are talking about will actually occur. The punchline is always along the same lines: the outrageous story is a red herring, it had nothing to do with the actual reason you broke or misplaced the object.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

good stuff. just gotta hope the girl cares enough to ask how your day is going.