I'm a 28 year old female... Hes 29. Been in a couple long term relationships that didnt
End up working out .. For the past year I've known this guy at work that I've come to adore..
We're both pretty careful about work policies and wed never do anything to ruin our career... Now
He's applied to get a new job which I'm pretty sure he's gonna get...
We've had a love hate relationship to a point where people think we should go out.. We've grown close to
Each other where we know what bugs the other, when to stay away, were considerate of each other.. We
Tease each other, etc.. Anyway, I've been upset recently because I m gonna lose him soon and I found
Out he may be traveling 50% of the time with his new job... I over heard him tell someone that "it's not like
He has anything holding him back so I'm okay with the traveling .." It hurt to hear that...
I need to tell him how I feel somehow... I've tried moving on several times but I feel
So close to him that I can't.. We have not much in common, yet I feel like something else draws us together .. And
It's not even that I wanna sleep with him.. I'm just content with him in the same room as me
Not saying a word .... Everytime I see him I just wanna hold him and just make sure he's happy...
In the end all I want is for him to be happy... I've never been friends with someone this long before I've dated them... He respects me a lot too... Idk why I feel this way.. And idk why I'm afraid of feeling this way..
What should I do? Every day I feel like my feelings are stronger... What if they never go away? I'm afraid this
Might be the real thing... I didn't even want children until I met him... But if I pull him out of the picture, I don't want
Children with another man... I feel silly for being afraid but I can't help it..

Thanks.
-Abby"

This community is great...thanks for all the help and advice, some advice I use, and some advice I do not use, but it is all great. I got this general love question yesterday, I'm going to wait and leave this question on forum for two days before I respond, and I will use an answer from one of you guy's...thanks again.

Unfortuantely that person did a poor job of articulating what type of relationship they actually have. Is it romantic? Or is it just a work crush? I assume they are just friends at work who flirt. It's actually pretty typical, the whole thing was about her expressing her feelings, and much less about what she ultimately wants from the guy, and even less about what they've actually done together. Whereas a guy would first say all the things they've done together (sexually and otherwise), then state what he wants to accomplish, then maybe make a few parting words about his feelings (if any at all).

That's why pua doesn't really translate well as female relationship advice. Because there's little emphasis on feelings. When it comes to how we feel, typically we just say "man up and go get what you want". But I don't think that advice would do a woman much good. This woman's whole frame is that of a romance movie. You know, the guy who doesn't realize that the woman who's secretly liked him has worked right beside him all along. Then she comes running down the terminal to stop him before he gets on the plane and leaves forever. And they hug and kiss and spin around and everyone cheers and applauds. The only problem is that guy's don't think this way, so that will never happen.

My only advice, as harsh as it sounds, is that she will lose the guy unless she knows how to properly seduce a man. Yes, she'll regret losing him and "FEEL" bad if he moves on, because she clearly likes him. This would be the part where I then tell her to man up and go get what you want... so to speak.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Your 100% right, I did not think about how we as men would say "Man Up" but we can't do that for chicks...I'm thinking like you are, she didn't even state if she slept with him, but I assume they did because she said she is attached...typical of a dick whipped chick.

I pretty much agree with what Puaninja wrote. I will expand on a few things.

This person won't be sad about this forever. It will sting at first if he leaves and she may miss him a week, or a month, but that wears off. Women move on easier than men. Be happy for him he's advancing his career.

Another thing I would think is that if she adores him, he should have picked up on it and if he has romantic feelings for her he should of made his move. It's my experience that for 2 people who work together, it's pretty easy to hook up if both sides show the other some degree of interest. When you see each other 8 hours per day, make a living beside each other, it's natural to grow close. I'm close to people I work with who are obese, ugly, weird, obnoxious, dumb, etc and they know more secrets about me than my best friends and what's funny is these are people I wouldn't hang with in public. I never liked the idea of the woman making the first move b/c usually guys get trapped in to a situation they know they could have and should have done better but most men's mindsets are to settle for something to avoid loneliness instead of working and putting in time and effort to get something better.

It also seems like the female has more interest in him, than he does in her. Maybe he's too timid to show it or maybe b/c he doesn't believe in getting honey where he gets money. I was in a situation like that with 2 roommates I had a couple years ago. I own a home and use roommates to pay my mortgage. I had 2 hottie hooters waitresses here and didn't want to make a move on either b/c If things turned awkward and they bailed, I'd be having to get 2 more roommates at once which is a lot of trouble and liked having them around anyway. So the situation could be similar in that, he thinks of her as a friend, nothing more, but he never has let his mind expand to think of it as more b/c he didn't think it was in his best business interest.





I suppose that if he does leave, she should be sure she has his number and maintain contact that way. Maybe a simple, "do you want to meet up" after he leaves would be a start.

Im guessing hes keeping it professional.

lol, she never stated if they slept together or not, I surmise they did because she is attached; however, she could just be a clingy, needy chick, I emailed her the question, she has not responded as of yet.

I could agree with that...but if he slept with her aint nothing professional about that; you know what I mean?

who knows. maybe(hopefully) she already moved on. What does "sleep together"mean? did they have full blow raw sex for babies? condom sex? did they make out in underwear? or sleep by each other in clothes after a bunch of beer and jokes?

a decent % of people are clingy from each gender