Long story short... A girl with a boyfriend (serious relationship apparently) tells me it would have never worked between us anyway because of her past... We went to the same school but never talked till after grad, actually we never even hung out so she doesn't really know me. Also, her past is basically her dating 4 different guys from our same class... And based on that she tells me it would never work between us...

It is a major uphill battle but I wanna try to get the girl... So should I take her seriously when she throws out her "past" as an excuse? Part of me thinks she is just saying that so I don't fuck up her current relationship but then again her boyfriend is a fcking loser, and i honestly think she is mainly with him because they have the same "origins/race"... she is a family girl so i know the same ethnicity thing is a + for her...

She says she wants to be friends and if this was a single girl id know it was game over but she isnt single + she doesnt really know me for real... Altho she is down to hangout if i pushed for it...

Haven't even tried the boyfriend destroyer technique or anything yet just stuck on deciding if i should go for it now and be aggressive or play it cool and be the "flirty friend" and play it slow + apply some BFD techniques...

Any tips??

It's a shit test. Just agree it wouldn't work out, and tell her you both can be awesome friends. Then pull out the boyfriend destroyer and some kino.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Cool... she knows I like her tho, how can I show/pretend I "moved on" ?

First, tell yourself what you need to do to make it seem like you're over it. Tell yourself you won't send her random texts anymore. That you will only text her when you have a really good reason. Tell yourself you won't flirt with her anymore. Etc.

Second, whenever she brings it up (make sure you don't bring it up), tell her you're over it and don't mind being friends.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

She would never text me first anyway, she expects everything to come to her. So if I do text her, it'll seem like I'm chasing her. This girl is weird but that is how she operates, even as "just friends" she would rather wait for me to come to her before she makes any effort to initiate. Haven't talked to her for over a month but she was on vacation for about 2-3 weeks.

Get this, during school she knew this guy for 4 years and since grad they haven't talked since. The other dude liked her too but she told him straight up "all we are gonna have is a friendship". KINDA what she is doing to me but she knew the guy, and doesn't even know me. Plus that guy was a chump/26 year old virgin who took life way too seriously lol... So I know for sure I'm in a better position because she said she likes a sense of humor and mentioned how im a funny/chilled guy

Point is, she won't reach out to me. So either I'm forced to re-initiate or keep freezing her out till she hits me up. The last time we did talk is when she said it would never work between us, so i dont know if she thinks i just straight up don't want to talk to her anymore or what but i am in a pretty tricky situation. I was thinking about texting her telling her "you were right, we wouldnt work out"... I don't mind playing the friend game for real so she could at least get to know me rather than be on auto-reject... Plus, she was way more comfortable when I flirted with her less probably because she felt/feels guilty otherwise...

I hate to burst your bubble man, but that nationality thing is bullshit. Trust me. I'm fully blooded Italian, and back in highschool, I could never score with any of the beautiful Italian broads that I sought after so strongly. Of course, it probably would've helped if my game wasn't shit, but I digress.

Get more girls into your life, and then, it'll look like you've moved on. On top of that, I would either just lay it all on the line and be honest with her, (We can't just be friends kinda deal) or I would've just froze her out and if she came crawling back and asked, "Why haven't you been talking to me?" I would've said, "because you said it wasn't going to work out between us. I like you, but Life is too short."

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"Take your last chance. It's not the end..."

She never gave me a legit reason why it wouldn't work between us aside from her past... When I did ask her why she would say that when she doesnt even know me, she said "I know me"... I'm assuming the nationality thing is big to her because literally everyone remotely close in her life is the same... she goes to these events strictly for her ethnicity and shit so i KNOW it is important but i know it isnt the only thing she is relying on... but hey she knew her relationship was "serious" after a month and a half, its been 6 months and its been her longest relationship... and trust me, i know the guys she dated before, they are better than the guy she is with now.. the guy is real clingy but for whatever reason she is with him still... but trust me she isnt INTO him like a normal girl in a relationship would be... she is a cold-hearted girl with basically no emotion or belief in "love"

And I am taking the 2nd approach at the moment, doesnt really look like she would reach out to me considering its been over a month... but ya i can just game other girls and try to move on till she reaches out to me if ever...

i really wanna get the girl or move on but im having a real hard time from moving on, i think about the girl everyday, every few hours... when im bored she is all i think about... im trying to keep myself busy but it only helps for so long... i cant even keep focus on a movie/tv show, that is how bad i got it... this shit is fucking with me mentally and never once in my life had a girl ever done that...

i do know the answer tho, GET MORE GIRLS... and trust me im still learning the pickup game but every girl i even "pickup" seem so fucking dull and boring... any girl that i actually want to get always got a boyfriend or some issue in the past that is holding them back...

Yea bro, it sounds this chick has brought out the one it is in you. I kno how that feels. The first and only girl I've ever really loved still happens to be on my mind at least a couple times a week. That's how love is man. When it's your first, it never truly leaves you. Anyway, you seem to have the right mindset on this one with sarging more often and meeting more girls. I wish you lots of luck bro. If there's ever any advice you think I can help you with or anything, just send me a PM.

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"Take your last chance. It's not the end..."

Thanks bro, I really appreciate that...

But I don't think I'm in love with her... I don't really know her, I'm more in love with the idea of her... But I've had "feelings" for her for a LONG time...

She isn't my first crush... I've had 3 crushes in my life and this girl is the 3rd and by far the biggest... I've had a crush on another girl, but once I got to know her I don't really like her like that. But she is a good friend now and I'm cool with that... So even if I turn this girl to just a friend and it makes me realize how she isn't "special" it'll probably help a lot more...But ya, I really need to meet a girl I actually like. My standards are really high...

The only reason why you are so into this girl is because of comfort. You know her and she knows you. She already knows that you like her. Your logic is telling you: 1. I don't have to approach her as I would need to approach a stranger. 2. Since she knows that I already like her, I am ahead of the game. (Not true)

You're going to internally fight ^this reality due to your fears of approaching new girls and actually TRYING to gain girlfriends. But whether it's this girl or any stranger, the fact of the matter is if you want a girlfriend, you're going to have to take the steps:

First off, you do not let it be known verbally or though leeching around a girl everywhere she goes so that she must assume that "you like her". The first is technically wrong. The latter is no different than a stalker.

2. Open, open, open. I am betting that you have not done this much. What you justify as 'high standards' is really nothing but a justification for not hitting on a whole bunch of chicks. Take the steps to learn openers, figure out what make them work. . . then get going.

3. Accept this girl's gesture to be her friend. Your answer, "Cool, I'm down with that." Then you follow the steps you'd need to take to make any random girl your girlfriend. Do this with her and do this with all the other girls that you've opened. GO OUT. Set up fun events and do what you can to meet up one on one. For new girls, this should be easier. For this particular girl, you might have to transition into it as she will have to stand up to what she said regardless of how she really feels. If she tells you, "But I have a boyfriend, blah, blah, blah. . . " Your answer, "Cool, I'm down with that." - then offer events that involve more than just 2 people. Play the whole 'friend' thing out. Always flirt, always funnel all the events and interactions towards one on one time.

4. You will find that once you do ^these things that this girl that you are focused on now won't mean much, but in case she does . . . and you've gotten her one on one, you continue on as if all the words spoken don't mean much and treat her like your girlfriend.

*Freeze-out in this instance doesn't apply. If you mean 'ignoring her' so she might strike some interest in you: "Ignoring" somebody all on its own does nothing. What the hell do you think she will miss? Some wussy guy who alludes to that he likes her, never asks her out, and pokes around for information? Sound like a desirable guy to you? What you can do for now is go with the flow and accept her friendship as if it's all roses. This is an effective ignore. Befriending her while you are hitting on a whole bunch of chicks is an effective ignore. Flirting with her and turning her on but forcing her to abide with some silly made-up fantasy about things 'not working between you two' is an effective ignore. Get living.

Great advice from Kasabi. ^^^
I would act on it, man. You really have NOTHING to lose. This is one of those zero risk, high gain situations. I know it's easier said than done but you get the point. Now go get'em!!!

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"Take your last chance. It's not the end..."

Loved your advice man, it truly helped. And I agree with so much of it.

But I did ask this girl out already, she flaked twice. Her excuses were legit (once time it was work and the other I gave her a day notice) but it put me in the frame of chasing so I backed off for a while. She said she rather have me as a friend and I was trying to be one but she never made any effort to keep the "friendship" alive so when I stopped texting her it kinda died. Yea, I can easily re-connect and keep the flow going but she never puts the effort back. I don't know if it is because I am flirting with her and letting her know I'm into her but I definitely gotta change my approach. I'm thinking of easing off the flirting and just become a regular chump friend till she starts putting effort in and then I kick it back up a notch and start flirting when we do hang. What do you think?
You are right, it really is only a plus considering my position. I just hate being the one putting ALL the effort into it.

Get over this girl. At best, she's indifferent to you. At worst, she wants you out of her life but is too lazy to tell you off. It doesn't mean you can't bang her . . . she just seems like an energy sucker.

There's a lot going on here but let's get going with the basic steps outlined earlier.

Probably the former, I don't think she wants me out of her life because when we do text each other she invests a lot of time. We use to text each other late into the night for hours and she always responds to my texts. The only problem is she won't initiate, she has a boyfriend so it is understandable. I mean I'm not exactly acting like a "friend" because I keep flirting with her. Plus she did mention that she thinks it would be "weird" between us... *Also, there is a good chance she is just being nice...

I know for sure she is down to hang, just as friends tho. So my game has to be tight and I have to approach it the right way. Maybe after a few hang outs she would actually put some effort in by initiating every now and then but who knows...

Anyway, like I said I do love your advice and I will definitely use it. I'm gonna back off for a bit and try to get some more girls into my life and see how it goes. If I don't hear from this one for a bit I'll re-connect and push for a hangout.

And if you have any more advice I'd appreciate it, you said there is a lot going on here? Whenever you have the time it'll be great to hear it. Thanks again bro.

Haha I talked to this girl the other day and brought up the "it won't work between us thing" and ever since she been acting different... Seems a little 'upset' lol...