Writing to get oppinions and advice. Me and my ex-wife were married for 5 years, split and divorced since november 2011. We split because of arguing all the time. We loved each other alot and always had great sex. Hell we signed divorced papers and got a hotel room together on the same night. We continued to hookup from at least once a week for a long time. We are both seeing someone else, have been for bout 6months now. Once we started seeing someone else, I stopped initiating the contact but I have a hard time telling her 'NO' or even ignoring her phone call. So when she calls and wants to talk, i talk. When she calls and wants me to come over i go to her place. When she is sick and wants someone to take care of her i have gone and taken care of her. The two month or so, she last month or so she has continued everything with the talking, taking care of her when see wants me to, held her at night when she wants me to, we have taken showers together, and kiss but have not had sex in little over a month and a half. Her reasoning "she would feel bad bout it because of her dating someone else". Me being a man is thinking, "sex is bad cause you are in a relationship but everything else is ok, makes no sense". We have even talked some bout the people each are seeing. She has said couple time the guy she is seeing is bout perfect. My response to her when she has said that is "he cant be to perfect if you are still talking to me every week". Well last week I told her if she cant be with me physically just as much as she is emotionally anymore there is no point in us talking anymore. Her response was "do you realize how mean that sounds". My response was "i'm sorry I dont like feeling like the best friend. So unless it is just me and you, then we dont need to see or talk to each other anymore". I know this is right thing to do, but damn I am weak when she calls needing me.......

Sounds like a typical hot and cold, on again off again, type of relationship. Only you complicated it further by branding it with the marriage label. It sounds like she wants the best of both worlds, and she probably getting a bit of a power trip over her ability to manipulate men. The fact that she said the other guy is virtually perfect is either her trying to make you jealous or she is feeding her own ego by pretending that she can get "perfect" guys. Honestly, why would you be with a perfect man and run around on him taking showers with your ex?

Women are emotional and men are physical. She is content with keeping you as an emotional partner whereas you want the physical stuff too. Worse, she's getting the physical stuff from Mr. Perfect, and turning you into a little bitch boy who feeds her chicken fucking noodle soup when she is sick, and making you her emotional tampon. Then when you leave she lets Mr. Perfect hammer it home without a rubber.

You need to tell her how it's gonna' be and not let her continue to manipulate the situation the way she is.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

That was a great response. The bluntness is what I was looking for and what I needed to hear.