Hey man. Lot of stuff to read there so didn't go through it all but skimmed some of the later posts. One thing that has really helped me (seriously...) from a mindset perspective is acceptance and commitment based stuff. Sorted my head out quite a lot with that. Honestly man, I think it's cool, have a look at it. This Dr. Russ Harris guy is good.

http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-St ... 1590305841

I don't have any money, but thanks anyway.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Fuck... I've been in the house for 2 days straight.
It's Friday. I still haven't found a job. I'm still broke. I've been searching online.
Hayley sent me a link to some an add for a job on Craigslist... I asked if she was free since she was online and talking to me. She said she had to work and was trying to cram in things she wont be able to do when she starts school. I wanted to say "Oh... So you don't really care to hang out with me then..." or even "Hanging our with me is apparently not very high on that list of things to do.". I didn't say anything like that. I wanted to, but reasoned that it serves no purpose. If I call her out she doesn't want to hang out with me. If I don't call her out she doesn't want to hang out with me. Either way she doesn't want to hang out with me.

I reasoned that women cause a lot of problems in my life.
I'm not good with girls. Because of this I go out and try to get in "time" practicing talking to girls and I exhaust my resources and time. I spend money going to bars and buying drinks for myself, I end up getting upset and feeling alone in the bar and drinking and drinking. I go places like DEMF and feel alone and depressed the entire time and try to find some corner to hide in and listen to music at some point. Then I'll go and talk to girls again and fuck up over and over and I'll want to drink... I don't want to have a drinking problem. I don't want to drink all the time like that. I notice that I only really have a problem drinking when I strike out with girls...

I'll spend all my money. Money I should be spending on food or saving in the bank. I wont meet anyone. I'll go home alone.

I just want to forget.
I want to stop caring.
I want to shut out that part of my life. I want to not want or desire anyone anymore and just be happy being alone.

As hard as I try to stop caring I always end up caring anyway. I always want to have someone there with me. And no one ever really is. I try and try to get better at this shit and I fail and fail and fail. I just don't fucking get it.

I want to die.
This is why I smoke cigarettes and why it's so hard to quit. I never want to quit cause I know each cigarette shortens my life span. I don't enjoy my life and the sooner it's over the better. Right now I would hang myself with the noose I made... but I need to take care of the cat until my dad comes back...

I'm tired of everything. No job, no girls...

All I really look forward to is that some day I'll die.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Today: 1-19-2013
I woke up and watched the rest of Dexter season 5.
I didn't have any plans. It's Saturday. I checked OKCupid.
A stupid message from some stupid pretentious bitch who's full of herself is all I had in my inbox.

Yesterday I sent
"hey, what's going on?
what're you looking for?
Like what kinda guys "

She responded with
" i feel like you've messaged me like 4 times without me responding already "

I knew I had messaged her once before. But only once. I replied with
"I know that I haven't messaged you "like 4 times". Get over yourself you aren't that amazingly special.

I know I messaged you once before, according to OKCupid. However you're rather forgettable and don't seem to stand out enough for me to remember it. So maybe I have messaged you "like 4 times" as you say, then forgot who you were cause you're dull and don't stand out really, and moved on and talked to someone else and got on with my life. Cleared my inbox and then when I forgot who you were I sent you another message thinking . o O (Hmm.. who's this person? Seems rather dull, but you never know until you actually talk to a person. Oh, hey I sent a message forever ago... Maybe I erased it, what the hell.)

If you'd like to chat and get to know each other cool.
If you wanna act like you're hot shit, fuck off, I don't have time for pretentious bitches. "


Then she said
" thats pretty elaborate lil dawg u rude as hell and even if i was interested before i wouldnt be now "

So I responded with
" Again, you're full of yourself. Fuck off. I don't have time for pretentious bitches. "
And then I blocked her. She's a dumb bitch.


The online thing was starting to frustrate me. It was too late in the day to look for work, and too early for a party. Still seems a little early for a party, it's 11pm... not that I know where any are anyway. And I was broke. No money. But I've been in the house for 3 days without leaving so, fuck it.

I went to the coffee place Hayley told me about. Along the way I ran into not a single girl I was interested in.
At the shop, which has yet to open, a girl was kissing some guy and sitting on his lap. Kinda made me feel a bit depressed that I suck so hardcore at finding anyone. Everyone else were dudes. Since I couldn't fill an app out then and there I decided to come back on monday.

I should'a just went home. I was broke.
But I wanted to find something and meet new people. So I walked out by midtown... about 4 miles of walking. I checked the Pike house [a frat house], nothing. I checked a house that sometimes has parties... nothing. I walked by a bar, it was packed, but I was broke. So I went to the fire pit on 4th street 3 more miles of walking. It was 8pm. There was a pine tree in the fire pit. Looked like someone planned on having a fire, but no one was around and I wasn't in the mood to wait.

Off to the trumble plex. They have shows but they aren't very good at posting that shit online. It's mostly word on the street if you wanna find out when. And the 3 people I knew who knew when the shows were moved away. But the shows are free to go to and I did meet a few girls there last year. And even went to a few after parties. I guess it was worth a shot.

4 more miles and I'm there. Nothing. It's 8:30 and the shows always start around 7. If one was going to happen it'd be happening.

I walk back to the bar by midtown, which is still packed. But I'm still broke. I convince myself not to call Hayley. I mean I'm in the neighborhood, but I wanna be done with her. She doesn't seem to care about hanging out and seems uninterested in me... So I'm walking home when a man in a wheel chair asks if I can wheel him over to Woodward. Of course I help him out. He thanks me and I keep walking.

Some heavy set older lady asks if I can help the homeless and that anything I can give will be appreciated. I tell her I have no money. I don't thinks he believed me... whatever I'm broke and hungry and don't have food at home. And when I was broke and hungry and homeless I didn't ask people for money. I donated plasma, collected cans, and worked at temp agencies [I know I know, detroit's pretty shitty with the temp agency thing, but can's are worth double out here].

All the bars are packed. Lots of hot chicks too. I'm still broke.
I make it a few blocks away from my house... a lot of walking. I'm sore. But I figure I'll check this one place I crashed a party at near halloween. Nope, nothing going on. Dead. So I come home.

I go on OKCupid. Empty inbox. I send some girl a message. Somewhere on her profile she was talking about her job and said "Some mornings I'm opening, others I'm closing, blah blah blah blah..." I said "So, you close the store in the morning sometimes?"

She looked at my profile and never responded.
I"m tired of that site. I never know what to say and I end up changing my profile every week or so. It's very demotivating and bad for the self esteem.

And now I'm going to watch Dexter and try to forget people exist.
Oh, I read some newletter about 11 ways to turn a girl on and realized it's 11 things I do anyway. Exception of randomly bringing up sex and talking about it. That seems too forced and really awkward to me. I mean I talk about sex, I just don't always try to force the topic. I've had better results letting it flow into conversation and horrible results when I try to bring it up.

I stopped and wondered why I still fuck shit up so much. It's such a patched network of skills I have. I need to evaluate where I'm screwing up. But I don't really know where I'm screwing up or what I'm doing right. I feel blind.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Dude I hate to tell you, but kicking yourself when your down is not helping anyone

You have great aspects about you, I can tell. You need to find something besides girls to get your life back in order. Infact, it may not be a stretch to forget about them all together for the time being. You have the skills with them, build your life up! Do everything you can, I know it may seem like theres no way up, but there probably is!

You have my support and vote bro Good luck

_________________
Live. Learn. Love.

thanks. It's not really that I'm kicking myself while I'm down, I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. The girl from OKCupid I wrote off as some stupid bitch I had no interest in the moment I saw her message and she ended up being a target location for me to focus my frustrations and anger on without feeling bad about it.

Everything else... It's just a jumbled mess. Playing the piano, looking for work, girls... I just need something to clear my head, but I don't know how really. Anyway I gotta run out the door and check out a job.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Monday 1-21-2013
Woke up, took a shower, got dressed. The chicken was gone... I ate all of it. I hadn't smoked a cig in three days. I think the night before I might've mentioned to my sister why I never quit. I don't remember which night that was but I kinda regret it all.

We were texting and I was rather upset. She doesn't understand certain things about me that I'd think only she would understand. Like I don't give a fuck what people think about me... not in the sense most people seem to. She was talking about being nice and doing nice things and said that it's something I should be proud of since I'm usually nice to people and it's harder to be nice to people than it is to be mean.

I told her no. No it isn't. Not for me. Being nice and kind to others is natural and habitual for me. It's not something I think about and it's certainly not forced. It's who I am. I see a homeless man and I want to help him out. I'm driving my car and there's someone walking on the side of the road I'll give them a ride. What's difficult for me is to be mean to others. I don't want to be mean to anyone, but at some point in time while growing up I realized no one ever stood up for me. I was maybe 12 or 13 and noticed that all my life not once had anyone looked out for me or stood up for me. No one was ever going to stand up for me.

When her and my older brother picked on me no one was there to tell them to stop. When my cousins picked on me and made fun of me and laughed at me, no one was there to tell them to be nicer. When my mom cussed me out and told me I was a piece of shit, no one was there.

I never really learned what's acceptable and what's too far when it comes to standing up for yourself. My younger brother's analogy was that what I do is the equivalent of someone punching me in the face and my reaction is burning their house down. A bit of an exaggeration but it still gets the point across. You have the right to react and retaliate when you're punched in the face. I see it as sending a message that says "Hey, don't do this. It's not in your best interest." I might just go a bit too far sometimes, but I never know what is and isn't too far when standing up for yourself.

Nor when something should just be ignored and let go. I never figured that out.

Me and her are still talking and I mention that I don't want to be nice anymore. I try very hard not to be. I tell her a story about how I was at some party and there was this girl who was really drunk and trying to make out with me. She wasn't very attractive and she was a little chubby. I moved my lips out of the way when she tried to kiss me and I backed off and asked if she was alright. She said something incoherent. I told her I was getting her a glass of water and that she needed to sober up. We sat on the couch and I asked where her friends were as and she mumbled something. I could make out she was telling me one of them was wearing a blue dress and had black hair. I get the drunk girls name and have her sit on the couch and find her friend in the blue dress with black hair. He friend had been worried looking for her.

Later the party is ending and I'm walking home and the drunk girl starts following me. I stop and walk towards her and lead her to her friend. Her friend says thanks and I go home. I was just me being me. I was being nice to people. I didn't care for anything in return. I didn't want to have sex with either of the two girls. I was simply doing what I do naturally.

A week later I'm at a party and I'm talking to some really hot chick. We're talking about video games and we're laughing and telling jokes. We're both sober and she kisses me and we make up for a little bit and go back to chatting. Some random girl comes over to this hot chick I'm talking to and whispers something in her ear. The hot chick looks at me in disgust and backs away a little bit. Now as I'm talking to her she gives me one word answers in a very sharp dismissive tone. Not the cheery flirty musical voice from before. I ask "what did that girl tell you?" She says "She told me what you did last week. It disgusts me, don't even think about that with me." I say "Last week I went to a party, helped some drunk chick find her friend, and went home. If you're wasted and can't find your friends I'll make sure I don't help you out, okay." She says "That's not what I heard. I heard you got drunk, and tried to take advantage of that girl over there while she was drunk" She points to the fat chick from last week "and you kept getting her more drinks. Then you told her you'd walk her home when her friend was giving her a ride."

I just lost it. I couldn't think straight anymore. I was being nice not cause I wanted anything in return. I'm never nice for that reason. I wasn't even into that bitch. I walked over to her and started yelling and screaming in her face about how much of a stupid fucking selfish cunt of a whore she is and how she was trying to make out with me and I wasn't into her fat ass. She's crying as I'm screaming at her and one of her friends tries to step in and tell me I need to calm down and that she doesn't deserve me yelling at her. I look at the friend and calmly say "You weren't there, you don't know what happened. This is between me and her, it's none of your business." and I go back to screaming at this girl for being such a horrible person.

Drunken fat slut later tries to get a bunch of guys I'm friends with to kick my ass. Some guy comes up to me and tells me how this fat piece of shit wants me to get beaten up. I run into her and ask her what the fuck is wrong with her. I say I helped her out finding her fucking friends when she was too drunk to remember her own fucking name and never asked for shit in return and now she's spreading rumors about me and trying to get me beaten to a pulp. I ask if it's cause she's to fat and disgusting to get laid and she's just making shit up cause she's a selfish fucking cunt that wants people to think someone wanted her that way. Then I flicked my cigarette in her face and spit on her and told her she'd better leave me out of her fucking bullshit lies or else I'll think of something a lot worse than flicking cigarettes and spitting in her face.

I left the party before I did anything worse. That sorta shit pisses me the fuck off.


I'm telling my sister this story. I'm saying I don't want to be nice anymore if people are going to repay my kindness by trying to get me jumped and spreading malicious rumors about me. That's when I realized my sister doesn't really know me that well.

She says "Well you have to stop worrying about what other people think about you. It doesn't matter what they think."
She doesn't fucking get it. I tell her "I don't care what they think. I care about the outcome. I care that because this fat piece of shit told her stupid lies I didn't hook up with the hot chick. Granted the hot chick is a dumb bitch too for buying into that bullshit to easy, but my night would've been a lot better if I was fucking the hot chick instead of cussing out a fat lying sack of shit out and trying to make sure I wasn't getting jumped by a bunch of strangers. It's not what they think about me that I care about. It's what they do to me."

I tell her how when I grew up I learned not to care what people think. I always had Ben and mom telling me I was a piece of shit, then we'd hang out with our cousin's who'd tell me I was an incompetent retard who couldn't do anything right, and the running joke in the family was that I was some dumbass loser. Not a single one of them ever stood up for me. I didn't value their fucking opinions. I don't speak to any of them today. I never had support or valued words of inspiration growing up. Not even close friends. We moved every time I made any.

She doesn't seem to get it. Internally it's not some big deal to me when people don't like me. It's a big fucking deal when people don't like me and prevent me from getting a job, finding a girlfriend, or going to some party and having fun. It's a big deal when people don't like me and want to kick my ass and I have to watch my back and send "messages" that say "It's not a good idea to fuck with this guy." That's what the big deal is.

But her and Ben. Well Our dad kicked us out of that condo when I was 19 cause of his stupid whore girlfriend. He left and moved to California. When I was homeless he didn't care. I never told him but my mom and sister sure as shit did and he didn't seem to give a fuck. He acted like I was some lazy piece of shit and that's why I was in that situation.

Eventually he felt bad for being a douchebag. He still doesn't seem to grasp how big of a set back it was. He's viewing it like he took $2,000 from us 5 years ago which sets us back $2,000. Cause he's a stupid piece of shit. He's thinking he took away our condo and now if he just buys us beer and gives us $100 for christmas and takes us out to dinner and buys us new clothes it makes up for that. He doesn't fucking get that it really doesn't. It doesn't replace the 5 years of no progress I had in my life. Or how I was about to set up a CD account and save money but ended up having all these extra expenses because i was thrown on the streets. So instead of having $50,000 or so in the back I have -$20 in the bank. But when he comes back and visits Ben and Celia are trying to win his affection.

They're showing him stuff they've done hoping daddy will be proud. They want him to like them. It's a little sickening that they speak different when he's around. Everything they say they're trying to impress him. The shit I say. I don't hide that I have resentment. I don't make a big deal about it, but it can be heard in my voice. I know he knows that I don't approve of being kicked out of my home I put so much money into.

Maybe this is what's up with Celia. She thinks I care about what people think they way she does. I don't. It's nice to know someone thinks well of you, but it's not something I need. I don't have to have that.



Anyway, monday.
I filled out bout 13 applications. I didn't talk to any girls along the way. I've been avoiding that. I wanted to call Hayley, I didn't. I just watched Dexter instead.

Tuesday.
I didn't fill out any apps. I had two places to call in the afternoon. I called them. No interviews set up... I watched Dexter all day. And I meditated for ten minutes. I tried to think of nothing. I light a candle and sat there focusing on the candle. My mind kept drifting to Hayley. I'd blank it out and it would drift to different times I had sex with different girls. I'd blank it out and it kept going back to either sex or to being with a girl I liked. I spent 10 minutes trying to clear my mind and think of nothing.

It felt like 30 seconds.
After I was done I was thinking of Hayley. I wanted to call her. I didn't bother with it. She doesn't care about me anymore. She doesn't try to hang out and doesn't answer when I call anyway. So what's the fucking point. I want to stop thinking about her but I don't know how.

I watched more Dexter and got to the final episode... So, I started over at Season one. When I watch it I don't think about Hayley.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

It's been over a month since the last time I had sex...
Dec 17th was the last time I've had sex. It's January 25th [okay, technically it's the 26th... but whatever].

Adele went back to Florida and never hung out with me. At some point she stopped talking to me and then said she's just not interested in me. Fail... I took her off my friends list.

Hayley very seldom speaks to me. I'm trying to forget about her. Sure I had sex with her on the 16th and 17th. But I've only seen her in person once since then. The one time I saw her we kinda just chatted, some friends of hers came over, she did some lines of coke, I went to sleep and woke up the next morning and got high with her room mates and then left.

The two girls from the bar who added me on facebook... one claims to always be busy. I never ask her if she wants to hang out I just chat with her at times. The other defriended me on facebook. I don't know why. She also ignores me.

OKCupid... nothing going on there.

A girl I met about a month ago in the bar doesn't return my calls anymore.


I don't know where I'm fucking this shit up. So I'll be more in depth starting tomorrow... if I leave the house that is. And the follow up after I meet someone.


Recently I haven't even talked to anyone other than plenty of fish and occasionally Hayley, whom I'm sure has had sex since we last had sex. She can have sex pretty much whenever she wants, there's a swarm of guys always talking to her. And she's an alcoholic and always out partying. Plus she had sex with me so soon. I'm pretty sure she's fucking other people.


I really need to figure this the fuck out, cause I'm getting suicidally depressed about it again. And really unmotivated to do anything in life.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Hey dude,

I am reading all of your posts and first of all I think you are an awesome dude.
With your caracter you are going to be fine. But first things first. Fuck the OKcupid. Online dating is useless.

The number one priority is finding a job and get some money in your pocket. I see you are trying to get a job allready. But with everything, you can try harder so try harder. Try everything to get a job. Ask your friends. the local paper boy, anyone. The job will take off your mind a bit of thinking to much and get you some money so thats a win win.

Beside your number priority: getting a job ; you will have time to work on yourself. IMO stop with smoking and drinking. Fuck that shit. Its not helping you. A drink once in a while is OK but you dont have money for it I guess and its only something you use to escape. Are there any other ways to make money? And make a list what you like to improve. For example: want to improve your inner self, there a lots of books online for free PDF. Go read that shizzle man! It will make you stronger. Want to improve your knowlidge about something specific, body and health etc. Make schedules what you can do to improve and follow the schedules. And dont get me wrong ofcourse you can chill sometimes. Escapism and stuff. Everybody needs and does that. But balance that shit.

You have to think about yourself. If someone is disrespecting you, like Hayley who isnt trying so hard for you you shouldnt keep trying hard for her, cut the bullshit off. Dont contact her anymore. You dont have to be mean, just be honoust with her and the situation and to yourself.

After reading your journal I really belive your a cool dude. Things will be better man. Im sure. And if they are getting better you will appreciate it even more. Trust me man, just go for it. Fid the spirit. Thinking positive, fucking force to laugh about everything and smile. Positive attracts positive.

Im just blurring things down IMO. I hope it will help you;)


Cheers VincentVega

Online dating is what I use when, like today, it's freezing outside and I have no money. Generally I just briefly look at a profile and if the girls cute I sent a copy and pasted messages that says...
"Cute pictures
How's your day coming along?
-Nick"

It wont do much harm, not wast much of my time to do this.


Jobs... they make me think about shit more. Like my last job at Home Depot. Sean, one of my co-workers, would always ask me about my girlfriend. I didn't have one. He'd point out every girl that walked in the store and say "There goes a girl for you." or mention girls I worked with and say they're my type. At some point when I went to Cleveland to visit friends and family I was hanging out with Amy and I took a picture of us together and next time I was at work and Sean asked about my girlfriend I lied and said it was her so he's leave me the fuck alone so I could just do my job and go home and not think about girls.

I didn't work. Now everyone kept asking me about her, where'd I meet her? What's she like? It was impossible to go a day without someone reminding me that I'm alone. I was still glad to have a job though. Cause hey, MONEY! I like money.


smoking: Honestly I smoke Cigarettes cause my life sucks and I'm not happy. I haven't been happy since I was about 9 or 10 despite trying to force myself to be happy since then. I don't enjoy life. Cigarette shorten my life. Essentially it's a very slow form or suicide. I've quit from time to time, which isn't so difficult if you actually want to quit. I've gone a year and a half without smoking... then I got depressed again. I started smoking again, as a slow form of suicide. I don't enjoy life, nor do I know how to enjoy life.

Dinking: It's just something that's fun to do. Not really an escape. It's been over a month since I've drank anything... well almost. Which isn't a big deal to me. Same with getting high, just something fun. So, in the event where I'm annoyed with something going on and I walk off and go get drunk or high it's, to me, the same as if I was annoyed and walked off to play Soul Calibur, or work out. I'm just leaving an annoying situation to do something I enjoy doing.


Hayley. I really want to stop talking to her. Each day I tell myself I wont text her and I wont talk to her on facebook. Most days I don't. I really like this girl and understand that she doesn't seem to give two shits about me. I try to do things to get her off of my mind. Most of the time it's really difficult to stop thinking about her. I haven't found anyone else either, which makes it even more difficult to stop thinking about her. Sometime I end up trying to talk to her... and I end up wishing I didn't.


As far as a list of shit to work out, Right now I need to unscramble my self and figure out exactly what I need to work on. So next time I go out and talk to girls I'll record it in this blog and evaluate where I fucked up and where I succeeded.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Today... Saturday.
Checked the mail... no tax info from home depot yet... fuck.
Fuckin' direct deposit... No pay stubs so I can't hold onto my last pay stub and use that on the 1st. I gotta wait for the w2's.

Somewhere during this day I sent a message to Hayley saying that I like her and all that but it seems like she doesn't want to hang out with me and/or is avoiding me. So I'm tired of it and I'm trying to move on.

She seemed annoyed and said I was being rude and I don't know what she has on her plate.

I texted back saying that no, I don't know what's going on with her. I know that she never has time for me and doesn't try to talk to me or get in touch with me and that I can't get her off of my mind. I said I wished the best for her but it seems like she just doesn't have any room in her life for me, for whatever reason, and I need to move on cause it's making me depressed.

She didn't reply back. I erased all of the texts and erased her number out of my phone.
I didn't bother taking her off my friends list on facebook, but I've been meaning to unsubscribe to her updates. I'm tired of wanting to be with someone who rarely even talks to me. I want to forget she exists since I can't seem to stop liking her.


I started working on building a resume and then fell asleep. I need to finish that resume' thing. I found a listing of jobs on Craigslist for Downtown Detroit. I applied to a few of 'em. On my e-mail I keep getting sent info on jobs that require masters dagrees and other crazy qualifications that I don't have. It's a little irritating.


It's been a few days since I last left the house. I might be forced out of the house on Monday if they want to spray for bed bugs. And for at least 4 hours. It's cold outside, I don't wanna leave the house unless I'm going to a job interview or getting money.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Sunday...
Haven't heard from Hayley... big shocker there.

Yesterday i got bored and started talking to people on my fake facebook.

Need a fake facebook? Wanna let a girl know she's not your only option even if she is? Feel like getting a little insight on the perspective of a woman on facebook? Follow these easy steps and precautions for a fake facebook and you'll be on your way.

Step 1. Browse around on Myspace [or a similar site] for profiles of attractive girls not from your area. Tip: Try looking in a country, preferably one that doesn't speak the same language as your country. The further away the better. Also try setting the search parameters to Thin and athletic girls. And If you've got a preference you can even search for specific hair colors too.

step 2. Once you've found an attractive girl who's page is open to the public than download all of her pictures. You want a girl who's got an active page that she's still using. If she's got a facebook that's a plus as well.... more on this later.

Step 3. Create a new facebook account. Upload a few pictures, but not all of them. You're saving the others so you can post them randomly like a real person does with their photos. Set up a fake job and such if you really care to.

Step 4. Add friends. This should be easy if it's a hot chick. You can use other dummy facebooks attached to this one to make the friendships look more authentic [personally i find it's a wast of time, most people don't go that far in depth trying to find out if you're fake]. If you must use a 2nd or 3rd fake facebook you should make sure you look at the origin of your pics and see what friends that person has and use those. That way some will overlap and they'll be in pictures together and all that shit.

Step 5. After you've added a sufficient amount of friends you can add yourself without it looking suspicious. If you planed on adding yourself in the first place that is.


Uses
Ciel a girl born in Loriant, France who grew up in Lorain, OH enjoys playing X-men children of the Atom, X-men vs Streetfighter, Marvel super heros, MSH vs SF, Marvel vs Capcom, MvC2, MvC3 and Sonic the hedgehog games as well as a lot of other video games. She's also fairly slutty and drops hints about that in her status updates. She's a little insecure about it but values honesty. She's going to school for Chemical Engineering. And she was born on July 7th 1987 [7/7/87].

A lot of these facts are intentional hints that she's not a real person.

Ciel quickly amassed a large amount of friends on facebook. She has facebook bingo [friend request, messages, and updates] every time she logs in and gets it sometimes while logged in. She adds Darshawn as a friend, but never added me.

He's talking to her and agree's with everything she says pretty much. Idea's I personally have that he disagree's with while talking to me he'll agree with while talking to her. After a few days talking to this girl She gets Darshawn to agree to buy condoms and show up to a park at 11:30. A park that's down the street from where I lived.

Prior to this, Darshawn had attacked me and I let it slide. He was bragging about this shit to people and I tried to fight him and he started saying fighting is stupid and backed down. He wouldn't fight me. I told him he should meet me at the park at 11:30. He said no.

A week later Ciel tells him to meet her at the park at the same time [another hint that she isn't real]. I was going to wait there and kick his ass when he showed up. But my sister talked me out of it. I confessed to him that Ciel was actually me. He claimed to have known all along [thought everyone said otherwise. That he was overly excited about this girl and he actually bought the condoms blah blah blah]. I responded "Of course you knew with all the hints I dropped. Ciel means Sky, and he name is Ciel Skyy. Sky is often refered to as the heavens and her birthdays is 7.7.87, Ciel is the name of the scientist in megaman zero MY favorite game [that you know because you say I talk about that game too much], All the games she likes are games you like to a tee [kinda obvious]. You'd have to be an idiot if you didn't notice at least some of that and think this is a fake facebook. Her major is my major, she talks about and supports idea's that I support and talk about."


So, there's one use of a fake facebook.


Another use that my friend Charles does.
You're talking to a girl who's got a boyfriend. You use your fake facebook to talk to the boyfriend and have him meet you somewhere for sex. You're waiting somewhere in that location and you take pictures of him at said location. You show his girlfriend the pictures and the messages from your fake facebook and let her know you'll never cheat on her.

Then you fuck the girl.


Another use.
Colleen Prat... Well I fucked this up this time... but it was working.
I fucked Colleen but then she stopped talking to me. I had two fake myspaces I'd made a few months before I ever met colleen [mostly for the next usage of a fake profile]. I'd randomly leave comments on my page with my fake profiles, but not that much, then I met Colleen, fucked her, and she stopped talking to me.

But I posted something one day about how much I liked INFP's and she asked if I said that cause she's an INFP? I had no idea she was so I responded honestly that I didn't have a clue. But now I knew she was looking at my page still. So I started using my fake profiles and having them flirt with me.

One of them was crazy and aggressive and cussed out Colleen and told her to stay away from me. The other would just flirt with me and ask when we were going to hang out again. Colleen started talking to me more, but eventually discovered they were fake. Cause their only friend was me.

I'd set up the links on their page so if you clicked on the link to see their friends it would send you back to their page or some random site or a broken link. I didn't factor in that Colleen was smart enough to copy their profile code number thingy and go to the url of anyone's friends and swap the numbers. But she apparently was smart enough to do that and she discovered that with both girls I was the only friend they had.

So I learned that with fake profiles you gotta give them friends to make it look more authentic.


Another use.
Spying and recon.
The two profiles Colleen found out about were originally made as a joke. They kinda just collected dust, then I suspected someone was talking shit about me behind my back. These days I just ignore shady friends like that and move on. Then I sent a message to the friends with the fake profiles. And somewhere in the conversation I brought myself up. I heard some people trash talk me while others still defended me and stood up for me. There were more trash talkers. And the trash talkers were nice when I was around.

Ciel, after the Darshawn scenario was used for the same shit.


The best usage [in my opinion]
To gain perspective for what it's like for a girl.
You'll notice if you have a really hot chick that people just randomly agree with you. You can consistently say dumber and dumber shit and guys will still agree with you or praise you and say how awesome you are.

Other guys will pretend to be uninterested and make a big deal about letting you know they aren't interested and that you have to prove to them how awesome you are. They'll get bent out of shape over the tiniest of things.

With Ciel I've found only 2 guys who will actually talk to me the way people normally talk to me and wont try to make the conversation about relationships or ask about hanging out or compliment her every 5 seconds. when I do log onto my fake facebook those are the two people I like talking to the most, cause they aren't fucking irritating and annoying.


So, when I talk to girls I try to talk the way they talk. Without such a strong focus on complimenting a girl every 5 seconds and when we can hang out next and so on. I just talk about whatever.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Well, I looked outside and it's wet.
It's above 32 degrees out, gotta be around the 40's.
And so today I'll venture outside... maybe I should check the weather... but I never care to bother.

There's a beer place I need to fill out an app for. Some brewery.

While killing time waiting for my phone to charge I was fucking around on my fake facebook.
I also was talking to my friend Harold. He said he saw Hayley making out with some random guy last night at the bar... I was pretty angered by that.
Why?
Cause she lied to me. I hate it when people lie about stupid things that don't matter. I don't care if she's not interested. I don't fucking care if she's avoiding me. I don't care if she's making out with some other dude. This happens all the time. Girls usually aren't that into me and they move on and find someone who's not me. This is how my life works.

I'm annoyed that she keeps lying.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

#10...
Deb.
I met her when she was 13 and I was about 21 or 22.
I'd hang out with this girl and she turned 14 before I left on my epic quest for cedar point. After that I went to Detroit and lots of time passed and I hadn't spoken to her in over two years.

I was 24 and she was 16 and I remembered her. She stood out. I found her on myspace and asked if she wanted to hang out. She questioned why I wanted to. I said I liked her. She questioned that.

I got fucking frustrated as all hell. very frustrated. I broke down into complete blunt honesty mode and told her how I felt, why I liked her, everything. I said what I liked about her and why I liked it in my frustration and then I left the library and went home.

Next time I logged onto myspace she was trying to hang out with me. We hung out. I knew it was going to rain that day and I found the smallest umbrella I could. We went deep into the woods and drank 40's together and talked and talked about everything and anything. As I expected it started to rain and I pulled out my tiny ass umbrella and she cuddled close to stay dry. We kissed.

We went back to my house and she noticed a much larger umbrella. Not only did I have a larger umbrella but I had more than one and I knew it was going to rain that day. Deb is smart. She asked why I took the smaller umbrella, I said "so you'd cuddle up close to me when it rained." She laughed and said it was sweet and kissed me again.

Eventually we had sex.

Lessons: Brutal honesty after you've known a girl seems to work. At least it does for me. And strategic planning helps as well, know the road ahead and plan accordingly.


Hayley... Well I thought of deb and just told Hayley how I felt. How I'm upset she never talks to me. How I don't care if she's screwing other guys. How I miss her. What I like about her, etc..

She started talking to me again. I showed her a funny video from youtube on her facebook, she laughed at is and told me a funny story and we laughed and joked back and forth. It was nice.


Yesterday as I was walking up to WSU my older brother called me and asked me how to find places to hang out with people.
Ben is good with girls, but he sucks ass at finding hangout spots. He tells me I'm really good at it. I think about it and realize that I systematically find places to hang out with groups when I'm really motivated.

I may have to write out a guide for that somewhere on this site.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

texted Hayley about a party I'm going to.
She responded telling me about a party she's going to and invited me.
hmm....

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12