A huge mistake guys make when trying to become attractive is that they try to act through a certain self-image that fits into what in their mind equates as “attractive” in a girl’s eyes.

This means that a guy who has been told that women like “nice guys” would force himself to fit into the category of nice-guy in order to manage the impression on her that he is indeed a nice guy (again this is trying to manipulate the girl by hiding your true personality and filtering it to get good reactions).

Same goes for guys acting like douchebags when they don’t truly feel like it, it’s pathetic and these guys never get results.
This mistake is THE key in understanding social-dynamics and learning how to become an attractive person.

If you remember an article I wrote previously about the topic of “value” (LINK) you probably remember how I’ve said the only thing that matters to people is what has THE MOST VALUE at that moment in time!

99% of guys think that acting through a certain self-image conveys value to the girl and shows her you are a cool dude, so these guys will basically confine their behavior and stifle themselves in order to appear as-though they are someone else who’s supposedly more attractive than what they currently have to offer.

For example many guys have the limiting belief that being in a bad mood means they are not good enough for a girl, heck, most guys think that EVEN THEIR BEST-SELF IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO GET THE GIRL!
What these guys failed to realize is this:
AUTHENTICITY AND REALNESS HAVE MORE VALUE THAN A GOOD MOOD
Actually BEING Yourself is much more valuable in a girl’s eyes than being “cool” or “James-Bondi’sh”!
Why?
Because NOBODY DOES THAT!

Think for a moment how many people you actually know, who, when they are sad, would actually act fully congruently with being sad instead of faking bullshit fucking happiness?

How many people do you know who you can trust to truly always tell you what they think without having an agenda?
IT’S THAT FUCKING RARE.

That’s why, when a girl meets a guy who, regardless of his mood, will act 100% as himself and not have an agenda, that women would cling to that guy like moth’s to the fire.

I have had so many times where I felt depressed or sad and went up to girls acting exactly as I feel (slouching, not maintaining eye-contact, talking quietly) and had them invite me over and give me a ton of attention, only for me to later feel happy and then end-up with the same girl I’ve talked to when I felt bad earlier!

That’s because people fucking LOVE authenticity, it’s so rare nowadays it’s insane, everyone has an agenda, nobody can act real and when people see that they don’t want to let go of it since it has so much value!

Another amazing perk to being completely authentic and not needing an outcome is that it grants you relaxation, this is the only way to truly enjoy socializing, trust me if you ever want to get girls you must learn to relax when you are with her or else she will immediately sense you are nervous because you think you are not worthy of her, this is an extreme turn-off for all women, don’t be that guy (in other words don’t be like everyone)
OK so how DO I stay authentic?

You must do it for yourself!

Make the decision to fully be yourself without wanting any outcome from people, without holding to any self-image you might have in your head, it’s hard at first but trust me, once you master this your life will change so profoundly I can’t even begin to describe..!

_________________
If you SERIOUSLY want to start getting good FAST, check out: (it's free)
http://www.wakeupfeelfresh.com

I love this post. You nailed it.

I found a lot of fault in this post. The title itself screams to me, "How to Be Attractive? Don't Discover Game and Remain AFC."
In theory that sounds grand, but you are really telling me a complete AFC/shy/social awkward version of x man is more likely to be taken than a suave/confident/charming version of x man? 9/10 times the girl will choose the suave version of the man, and the 1 will choose the shy out of somewhat pity and a soft spot for the wee puppy.

It has been proven time and time again that good vibes are contagious. Precious few people want to hang around a sad sack in a social environment, as it will sap their own energy and upbeat thoughts. Girls are no different. Do you think they would rather hang with a mopey emotional wreck who will only drain their energy and zest, or hang with the forever-positive fellow with a loose attitude on life who will make them laugh and boost their current state?
It has been established and widely accepted that being mysterious and keeping women somewhat unaware to your intentions and doings fans their intrigue. Men who are too open emotionally and pour their heart out are likely to fall into the trap of being too available, and hastily friendzoned.
Interesting way of approaching, but the actions you just listen are all considered beta/undesirable by the PUA world and unattractive to women. Relatively indisputable. Women love strong males, and that just screams weak.
There is nothing wrong with holding an image of the man you wish to be in your head. It is a goal atop the mountain, and in truth if I hadn't envisioned my optimal self a year ago, I wouldn't be the man I am today. It gave me a model to shoot for, and what aspects to attain. There is a reason the PUA world exists, because men who 'be themselves' are getting stomped by women and having zero success. Fact is 'themselves' just weren't cutting it, and they needed to learn about women, attraction triggers, and become alpha males who would be respected.

Call it a self-image if you will, but fact is being a confident man who has a presence and way about him, is much more attractive than being a bumbling AFC who will be shafted in favour of the other man possessing attractive features.

The article's contention to me is, don't improve yourself, learn how to speak to women, present yourself, and develop sound body language, who needs game?

Being yourself around women is absolutely key, but be your best self, which will require consistent development and discovery. Your sheltered self, vs James Bond? There is nothing wrong with improving yourself.

The AFC version will have more chances to get girl because is more congruent with who he is, he won't run out of things to say, he won't stay on his head trying to come up for the perfect line, etc.
Sad true is that most of girls are f#$ up emotionally and have also low self esteem so for them even if they do not want... they will find it easier to connect with an emotional wreck than with someone with a great attitude all the time...
Guys who stayed friendzone is because they hide their feelings and intentions because they do not want to offend the girl and get rejected.


The reason PUA world exist is that we guys are super scared of being rejected and some business man have taken advantage of that fear and promised us a solution to rejection... They are selling us false promises and solutions that they know we are not going to be able to achieve.

Being successful with women is a numbers game if you are congruent with yourself... The only way you can mess up your chances in this numbers game with women is by not being congruent with yourself... Hiding your sexual desires as the shy guy does or pretending to be super suave and already successful with women will destroy your chances completely...

Being yourself with women is a key... but being your best self does not be an "alpha guy" version of you or a James Bond or whatever this PUAs, novels, Media, etc have put to you in your head... Your best self is the one that follows your dreams and desires... And if your desire is to be a super nice and loyal husband, perfect father, who wants to lead an ordinary boring life... that is perfect there will be women who will fall for that...
If you want to become a ladies man, spend your life in the best clubs surrounded by super models, that is also great there are some other women who will fall for that...
If you do not know what your dreams are because your vision is clouded by horniness and your need to be accepted and loved by a woman... then your best self at the moment is the one of the person who is looking to find his purpose of life by loving a woman... So be that man, that is your best self at the moment... be congruent with that and for sure there will be some other women that want to be with you for that...

Of course, all of our perceptions of attractiveness are going to differ. I'm here because I want to get better at talking to people. The techniques we all talk about are just that...to learn the confidence to guide conversations and emotions. I love getting a girl to fall for me by being myself. But when I'm in the dumps, I'm not striving to get myself out. I'm not challenging myself. Most of us are here to be the better us, to be able to power through the down times and get out...that is what women find attractive

Love your comment Worldrunner, couldn't have put it in better words.
SilverTonguedFox don't get me wrong, I'm 100% self-improvement, but you have to accept yourself as you are too (this is a huge paradox, I'm basically saying you can get laid and be attractive just by being yourself, you can OPTIMIZE this by improving yourself daily, but remember, you are ALREADY ATTRACTIVE BY DEFAULT!)

_________________
If you SERIOUSLY want to start getting good FAST, check out: (it's free)
http://www.wakeupfeelfresh.com

This is actually in my opinion one of my least-quality articles, thanks for the feedback!

_________________
If you SERIOUSLY want to start getting good FAST, check out: (it's free)
http://www.wakeupfeelfresh.com

Hi there; while I think the overall sentiment of your advice is valid in advising against false personas, I can't quite reconcile the act of initiating contact with "not wanting any outcome" from the counterparty.

If I didn't want any outcome I would not be trying to get to know the person. Implicitly I at least want to learn enough about that person in order to make a decision on whether it would be worthwhile to integrate said person into my life in some capacity.

So at a minimum, the desired outcome is an opportunity of mutual exchange. This can be problematic because in my experience a lot of people simply show complete disinterest based on their first impression of me. So I can either leave right then and there or show some persistence but risk having a one-sided conversation.

Now as an isolated case it is easy to dismiss unresponsiveness/dismissal, because it is true that I am not attached to the outcome of each independent interaction. But on a macro-level if I am going out with the intention of meeting people then it's disingenuous to pretend that I don't prefer certain outcomes over others.