I'm writing this LR for a few friends in mind who asked me about the lay.

I hadn't been out gaming in some time. I was very rusty deep into my head and the negative zone. I approach two girls with a low investment opener. They opened well but my awkward vibe, and intense nervousness made them reject me. hat can you do? It was beyond my control so I focused heavily on the things I could control, made mental notes of what I needed to improve in real time not for the next set, but the next few second. My process had begun and the biggest comforting thought came flashing in my mind. “Its just a matter of time.” The two girls began in on me. “I hate the brand t-shirt you're wearing!” she moaned. I said not what I thought would make them want to talk to me but what would take me in the right direction in my course of actions. I didn't seek to impress them and I was just realistic about my jacket. “I like Hollister brand its comfortable and well made.” I replied. She said “Yeah your a dork!” in a mean tone. “Maybe” I said in a tone that was very impartial. My goal here is to make tooling me as boring as possible for her. I'm neither going to excite her by passing her raising above her shit in an impressive fashion or make her feel superior by failing them. I'm simply going to make her feel bored, and dumb for even trying. Its like when a cat swats at a string and you drop the string the cat loosing interest in attacking it. Most girls feel dumb and reactive when they exert a lot of emotion on you and you react very little and remain impartial. “It's not you, its just I used to work for Hollister so I hate them now.” She explained herself cause she felt stupid for reacting so much more than I did. This was the time when anyone in my situation would have felt a slight glimpse of victory and likely felt the need to leave on a high note. I know they now expected to see me leave too. But like I said I'm concentrating on doing the right process. Even though I know they don't like me. I stayed in for 5 more grueling, lame minutes. They were meagerly polite and I expanded my comfort zone to be able to handle more discomfort.

A friend points out a gorgeous blond skinny girl who's looking around and I open her. She opens well and is coming into my space whispering into my ear. She is out looking to be aroused for sure. She tries to ignore my awkwardness but its too much and she ditches me. I follow her outside and stay in as long as I can. Later this staying in behavior will be important to be sharpened. More important than state, being cool, pretty much anything else. I spend most of my time sharpening this tool and it sharpens others by the nature of it. Eventually we move to Elbo room. Metta includes me in a set. “Hi where are you from?” She tells me about being from Florida. “Haven't you ever wanted to live anywhere else?” She suddenly just turns away from me and runs. “I feel confused… never in 3 years have I seen a girl just do that it was so unexplained. Metta is there and his girl really likes him. I know I may be blowing him out by coming in. But tit for tat. He just stole a girl from me a couple minutes ago like a state vulture. He sees that I'm weak and hes strong. But just like he can use his strength against me I can use my weakness against him. Tit for tat honestly you just cant avoid stepping on toes when you are as close friends as me and Metta so we practice extreme sympathy and forgiveness. I must find out if I am still in or if she hates me. Metta instantly says aloud in front of the 2 girls. “We were just talking about how awkward you are you should leave right now.” I turn to the girl and say “Is that why you ran away?” She becomes defensive “I didn't run! I walked! And I told you I don't want to talk to you anymore!” then she again ran away. The sister apologizes for her and tries to mend things cause she likes Metta so much. It doesn't end up ruining anything for Metta. When you have good game like Metta B.S. Like this is fine. Apparently later he tells me she apologized and said she had an abusive boyfriend recently and just doesn't want to be talked down upon. I think she mistook my awkwardness and extreme nervousness mixing with getting cooler and less try hard as me being a dick when I was just trying to find out about her. I cant instantly change my biology I just move on knowing its just a matter of time. Continuing to put the tools in place that I know equate to success. Try less then they do, stay in, push my comfort, Focus on relaxing, I am enough, don't impress. By now my friends are picking up on my streak, its laughable. I remember one was telling a story about a creepy guy and as a point of reference someone asked in a serious way. “Was he as creepy as Tobias?” No was the response given. I had become the example of what is creepy. They identify creepiness with me. Something that can put a new guy in turmoil for his whole life. But I don't identify with being creepy. I am not my behavior. I am the awareness behind it. My awareness is slowly bringing me to a centered place set by set.

Next night we go to star light room. I open a set and again I strike out harshly. They are friendly girls who are betrayed by their kindness and end up wishing I would leave them the fuck alone. I stay in past my point of comfort and sharpen the tool a bit. I am ignored for about 5 minutes and then leave. But I don't leave out of boredom or discomfort. I leave because strategically its time to move on. I leave from a calm centered perspective and a position of strength and integrity. I know I have sharpened my tool and any more would be wasting other opportunities. I do this again… same thing. Then I cant find any sets so I just chill. I don't feel the need to get in another set because I know with time a set will come to me. Its just a matter of time my brain tells me. That time may be a minute, a day, a week, a month, a year but its just a matter of time. We are about to leave and I see a girl by herself. She is a very attractive white girl. I assume shes by herself cause shes choding uncomfortably looking out the window. My senses become alert. I can guess why she is here. To meet me. I walk up to her so close I don't have to lean in to whisper into her ear. “Have you discovered the meaning of life yet?” She laughs and asks me if I know it. In bed later she tells me she really liked this because I was not instantly trying to get something out of her. I can tell just from her smiling that she likes me. So I skip attraction and just overlap it onto comfort once every 5-10 minutes I say or do one thing that is arousing. But I begin into comfort and finalize the conversation by turning us from two strangers in a bar into two people who actually know who the other is. I ask her name and give mine. 2 minutes later I will say “Ashley”, do you remember my name.” To confirm that she remembers my name and to let her know I know her name. This builds comfort and officially finalizes that we know each other. I find out simple things about her that lead to intimate details being discovered only her best friend or family likely know about her. I know she is an only child who feels doesn't feel she fit into the category of a spoiled only child cause she was demanded at a young age to work for everything etc, etc. I sift threw her words for tiny details, and I screen her for flaws and show her slight acknowledgements for things I like. I keep her wondering if I want her or not. A friend comes in apparently to blow me out because I guess they wanted to leave the venue to another. He says something like “Hey this is my boyfriend you are taking him from me!!!! OMG but its okay you can fuck him tonight!!” I just ignore him and she looks at me to assess how she should respond. I try to sub communicate that he should just be ignored and waited out to leave. She complies and he leaves. “What did he say?” she asked. “I responded” I dunno I think he said he is gay, probably drunk.” Then Metta comes in to blow me out because they want to leave. He comes in strong with intense eye contact and when he shakes her hand he holds it for a long time. Hes trying to use his stronger state but it isn't working cause I have build investment and investment isn't transferable. He leaves and she tells me “I find that rude, I think its rude to even acknowledge another guy when I'm talking to you so I tried to ignore him.” I said “You did the right thing, thats very respectful of you.” Encouraging her good behavior. Metta comes back and tells me they really want to leave. “I guess you have to go ill give you my number” she says. This is were many guys would just take the number and go. But because I have been practicing keeping the set going as long as possible my tool is sharp. “mmmm eh… ( I make the number sound worthless like I wont even take it which makes her wonder how much I like her) How about you come with us instead.” She thinks for a minute and says “ I want to come but your friends are weird I don't think they like me.” I said “Well you can stay if you want or come its up to you. ( I say this because 1. I want it to be her choice to create a latter of decisions she can look back on leading up to liking me, and 2. I always want to perceived as caring less than she cares.) My friends are actually really cool. They are just fucking around. You will like them because you are cool, and they are cool.” This made sense so she decided to come. She started talking to my friends and they were being cooler now that they got their way of leaving. The ride to Elbo room was chill. We all just hung out making her comfortable. Fingerman trolled her a bit but in a very endearing way that made him seem interesting and fun. She bought him a drink and bought me a coke. She smoked 10 feet away from me cause she knew I didn't like smoke we continued to find out about each other. We enjoyed the night together. Owner of the bar talked to her I didn't fear it and I embraced it. She put her leg on my leg. I leaned in and said “I have an important secret (Pause…) I think you're really attractive.” We went out side and I picked her up and spun her around in a circle. I told her “Do you like to hug.” She said yes. I said “I find it weird we are having the best conversation out of anyone in a bar tonight in the whole city maybe the world (narrating our convo, and framing our convo as better than anyone else is capable of) and have not even hugged” She agrees and I open my arms and don't move forward. She comes to me and wraps herself around me. (allowing her to invest in me) I hold her close and its very sexual. Now an important note here is… I'm no cooler than any other set. Not special, not more in state, I'm not some baller pimp. I'm doing these things because I sharpened the skills and am able to now apply them DESPITE my fag biochemistry making me nervous and awkward. Now that I am making baller moves because my skills are sharp. She doesn't see my nervous awkwardness as creepy, she sees it as cute, She keeps just telling me how cute I am like she had been holding back saying it for the last 5 minutes. The nervousness just shows how much I like her. My sharpened skills display I care enough to take action despite how I feel. I want to make this happen. I look at her face and focus on how pretty she is. I listen to her words and I fall for her cleverness. Many things she says just wins me over. She impresses me and I decide her gaming me has been successful. I decide I am going to sleep with her. Tonight the whole world is the two of us. I say “Your staying at a hotel near union square? I have never seen the inside of one there.” She thinks for a second. “Is that your big move?” I pause for suspense and say “Yes” we both laugh. And she doesn't say no which is a yes. I grab her hand and say “Lets go on a walk.” “where to she asks?” right then a cab pulls up on the curb and I say “To this taxi cab.” I take one step and open the door she gets in and puts her legs over mine. We go to her place and she pays for the taxi ride in full. We go to eat at a diner. We go to Walgreen's and I buy chocolate for us that she recommended I try it, chili flavored chocolate and sea salt chocolate. (always take womens recommendations seriously it makes them feel you appreciate their opinions and it gives them an opportunity to feel useful by offering you value.) We go into the elevator and there is another couple. Ashely tells me she isn't sure if she will be able to remember her hotel room number so we may have to try two or three doors. The guy in the elevator looks at me and says “Good luck.” She turns to him and says “He doesn't need luck, he has swagger.” If it wast obvious the lay was guaranteed before it is now. into her room and I say “Do you like to cuddle.” She says “Yes I plan on it.” “Good I like to cuddle more than any one in the world” She slips into just wearing a wife beater and some kind of panties/shorts . I am pleasantly surprised. Many women look 5 times worse naked. She looks 5 times better. Her boobs are huge, maybe double D's and perky. A rare combo for naturally large boobs. Her waist is small and defined. Her ass is great and her legs are muscular and thin. She is what a woman should look like without the dolled up enhancing designed clothing to prop up this and push that out. She is over all a very good looking 27 year old, red headed, thin Scandinavian girl with large breasts. She isn't without imperfections but overall great. We cuddle chatting. She asks me “When is the last time you did this have sex with a girl in bed and cuddle?” I don't have the balls to tell her the truth that it was barely a few hours before I had met her that night whenI was in bed inside another woman although I consider it. Its just a high risk thing to say with no reward. It would be dumb to point out. So I say “Its been years.” She laughs and says “Yeah right.” She also points out that she thinks I knew I was able to sleep with her and knew we would be in bed naked before we even began talking. She also believes I can do this to any woman I want. Pretty far from the truth… but I let her believe what she wants. She covers up her nipples with her hands and says shes embarrassed. I express no concern take off my own shirt and don't look at her breasts. She likes touching my chest. The whole time I spend with a woman I look at nothing but her eyes and face. To the point were sometimes I have to take a step back and realize I have been talking to a 10, or a fat girl for the last 10 minutes. She looks at me and recognizes I'm not interested at gawking at her boobs and her body looses tension, her shoulders drop, her hands follow. A minute more of talking and she gets on her knees in front of me and lifts off her wife beater. I look at her and smile deeply staring into her eyes. Pausing to let her know I am in control and when I do look at her large beautiful breasts it will be because I choose to not because my instinct and lust command it. I slowly move my eyes down her neck to her breasts. My hands follow my eyes and I push her back onto the bed and press her body into it with mine. Her lips are soft and I tell her she is a good kisser to reward her kissing. Her neck taste like candy and I tell her. She tells me she uses a lotion with sugar. We stay in constant communication and I think this is important. Because it just makes sex funner for me to feel grounded and connected. I cant remember what she says but something like “Can I do something for you?” And I Say “Yes.” She laughs and says “Of course you say yes what are u going to say to that.” Her sense of humor pleases me greatly. This playful sweetness is actually the highlight of the night which makes everything else that much sweeter. She begins to suck my dick. She does it well. “I have nothing to teach you in this department.” I say. She asks me to turn off the lights and I say “I will but I would rather just look at you here naked all night long.” She says “Please it would make me happy.” “Sure I'll do it as soon as I'm done running my eyes over your body.” She poses for me sexually and I take her in. Then get up when I'm ready and turn off the lights. We both grab condoms and its funny. I also like her a bit more for being smart to use protection. Many women don't even care if u fuck them raw dawg. Want to know if a girl is a nasty slut? Thats the only real consideration. Every girl will fuck a guy at a bar… if you don't think your grandma got fucked in a bathroom of some bar in the year of 1945 or some shit your delusional. But the girl your seeing now she should have at least had the sense to use a condom with some one night stand. I get on top and pound her. Her pussy feels good. My dick is hard I'm horny as shit. I grab her face, she sucks my fingers, I savaging make out with her. We are soaked wet in sexuality. The red tint of her hair is barely visible in the light streaming out the window. Her moans quicken and deepen. I rotate my dick in her. She gets on top and after 15 min of this shes done. I fuck her for what seems like an hour and then she says I have too much stamina. I really just like her. So I want to extensively fuck the shit out of her. This may be a mistake cause its so hard to know. Some girls you can fuck all night. Some are 5-15 minutes. She was a 15 minuter and this made her feel we are sexually not compatible for future fucks. Anyways I tell her she should finish me with a blow job and she does. Only it takes me like 30 more minutes to cum cause I was holding back the whole time we had sex it was like I was starting fresh. But she does a good job like a good girl. She wants to give up a few times but I coax her by telling her I'm almost there. She has to much self respect for herself as a woman to let me go unsatisfied and she does what many woman probably couldn't accomplish in that situation. She gave real effort which turned me on to know and she made me cum so hard I believe I shot the back of her throat and made her gag and choke with the huge streams of my cum shot into her throat. We cuddled a bit I spend the night and leave the next day. Not sure if I'll see her again. Would be nice cause I respect her and like her personality. But well see it was just a one night stand after all.

I text-ed her the next morning and she responded. Today however I said “Another great weekend hate that its over. Hope you enjoyed your vacation from responsibility and all is well clever girl.”

she so far did not respond back. I'll message her 3 more times before giving up.