| Hey dude welcome. I just read this great post on ego which might be good to revisit. I also stumble out of the blocks but straighten up when I get going... check this out sorry I know its long! Credit to Jabba.
Ego
Fuck all that freeze out nonsense, you don’t need it.
Ego Ever been out and thought to yourself – man I cannot even be bothered TRYING.
Ever been offended by a night where you are not getting your quota of validation i.e IOI’s from girls, or being approached?
Ever been rejected and thought – man I have fucked girls sooo much hotter than you, what right do YOU have to reject ME?
Ever feel that in any given interaction, or in any group, you have the highest value?
Ever pretended to be humble when in actual fact you are anything but (and I KNOW of some guys that even POST on here pretending this, at least I am honest!)
Ever felt long periods (weeks) of complete, total lack of sexual desire? You will see a hot girl, know she is a hot girl, but there is no stirring in your loins?
Ever had micro hesitations creep into your responses and game that werenet there before? Hesitations on escalation, approach, etc etc?
THEN YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM AN INFLATED EGO!! The inflated ego is one of the last barriers to PUA superstardom to those PUA’s who have “got it” (or “had it” at some point in their PUA careers!!)
The inflated ego worms itself insidiously into your day to day life and left unchecked can wreak havoc on your life generally, and more specifically, on your ability to pick up girls. Yessir, the ego is certainly the no1 cause difficulties for PUA’s with 2+ years experience and more than 100+ f closes under their belt.
So how do you work with this problem? Errrrr…..Not too much written on the subject but…
Surround yourself with excellent literature!
Try not to take it too seriously!
Work with it…Don’t fight it. Accept it as it is and don’t get frustrated when you go out night after night and just don’t FEEL it anymore.
Accept that it is your body’s response to a set of stimuli that has arisen naturally over time, and that you have the resources to deal with it.
Don’t compare yourself to others, your “previous” self
Expect nothing from the girls...Clear your mind and “reset” each time you go out.
Never ever invest or listen too much to other people’s positive rap about you.
NEVER EVER LOOK FOR HERO WORSHIP, if you get it, tell them to shut the fuck up!
Look for the best in other people
DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH WHEN YOU GO OUT!!
At the same time though, it’s good to do things that make you FEEL good. For eg, buying a new wardrobe, some new funky items of clothing and re-inventing yourself. Dealing with other ppls reaction to you / crabs in jam jars Last night I pulled a 9. Genuine, bona fide 9..Fucking stunningly beautiful.
I also got blown out quite a few times with lesser quality girls. And I started to see some parrales with their behaviour to other times in my life when I have faced negativity. Here it is, quite simply!
We live in a fucked up world, with a lot of fucked up people. Most people follow what everyone else does.
I hate to say it but lots of people try and drag you down. In work, and I have noticed this too now, in pickup. In particular, women will SEE that you have everything going for you, ridiculously so, and they will DELIBERATELY blow you out as they know they don't measure up!! I have thought about this a lot, and it's sad but true. I cannot explain away their nehavour , otherwise. On the same night that I can pull very very hot girls, I will get blown out by less hot, less secure girls. Blown out in an unnecessarily harsh way too.
My kind of character and my worth as a man is suited to very high quality girls. I just can't deal with LSE, trashy, crap girls who cannot handle an extremely confident, direct, charismatic guy.. And there are a lot about, despite how they might look. So they feel this value deficiency when they interact with me, and they blow me out as harshly as they can..E.g Last night, was chatting very nicely to a girl, not even coming onto her, was checking her watch and she gave me a "sling your hook" thumbs gesture..I was honestly shocked, it was so over the top..I actually laughed in her face and said "are you fucking serious? What is WRONG with you??" Then I shook my head and walked off...
People cannot take it when they meet someone who is high and excellent (or has the potential to be).... They have to drag you down.>They think : fucker, I’ll bring him down a peg or two. I think of them as crabs in a jar. They see a crab making his way out, and think noooooooo, we can't have that! So they grab onto his back legs and try to yank him back in with all the rest of the loser crabs.
My reaction nowadays is different to how it used to be. I used to let it affect me. I used to analyse myself, and doubt myself. Nowadays, the more of this kind of reaction I get, the more I know I am doing SOMETHING right, and the more I will continue, thank you very much.
The same impulse that promotes this behaviour is the same impulse that keeps people in their comfort zone, doing crappy jobs their whole life because they haven’t got the balls to push themselves and get something better.
It's the same impulse that prompts these "piss takers" - you've all met them I am sure…People who will try and put you down in front of others, to try and raise their own value.
And it's the same with lower quality chicks blowing you out harshly, I think.
What do I take from this? I reaffirm to myself when writing this that I am sure as shit not gonna change my internal compass (the overall DIRECTION I am taking), and THEY are the ones who are fucked up. So when you face negativity like this, for christs sake, never let it affect you..On the same night that a 7 (or more than 1, lets say 4 7's blow you out)..you can be with a beautiful 9, and she will LOVE you for who you are.
I also reaffirm that ALWAYS go for the absolute hottest girls you can, the ones that you see and that make you WANT them. For me, my pickup has to be 100% genuine, in the moment...I think it is why the hotter girls are MORE receptive to me as my behaviour is more congruent around them…SO always aim as high as you fucking can, and NEVER let others drag you down!!!
Steve
p.s One more thing - this lesson, with regard to pickup has also taught me that I can change my initial approach somewhat to be less "intimidating " to some girls. Perhaps not quite as direct, more under the radar, and more calibrated to each individual girl. Yes it works well a LOT of the time, but I think I am perhaps too unforgiving of the girl, and she can also tell I literally don’t give a shit…There is no real INTENT there. This is something I am presently working on. BUT, the overall fundamental direction I am taking is not gonna be changed by the behaviour I am describing here. Beliefs Here's a few little tips that reveal the mindset that you should be adopting...
I'm writing it because I think one of the main differences between me and other guys is my BELIEFS.
(i) If a girl ever approaches me, and opens, no matter WHAT the excuse, my assumption is
(ii) If I open a girl, and after 1 minute or so she is smiling and responding well my assumption is
She wants to shag me.
(i) SHE OPENS ME
In this circumstance, I act slightly differently, just because it is fun to do so and play around with her a little.
Here are the things I do:
1:/ Pretend not to notice IOI's to see how blatant she will go.
If she compliments me on my dress sense - I’ll say oh wow thanks, and give her a big big smile
If she starts touching me and saying I am sexy, I’ll look at her in an amused way and say - bit horny are we?
NOTE: - You have to leave her in some doubt whether you get what's going on. But you can't act completely
Oblivious to her and unobtainable.
2:/ I will wait until she says something cool (you make something up arbitrarily), then pretend to be more "into"
her
E.g. when she opens, be pleasant so she doesn’t walk off (if she's fuckable), but not TOO pleasant or TOO cold. Judge
her level of discomfort - if you sense she's about to walk off, either react positively to last thing she said
or bring something else up and SOI her on it
Hey so you like ski ing uh? Wow, I remember when...etc etc.
3:/ Do not get sexual, touch or kiss her in any way
Never SOI her back. It's just FUN to do this.
So you see, you do these things, no touch, no escalation, make her work for it. Then at the chosen point,
you extract, walk her home, then BOOM - you collapse on her like a ton of bricks.
It's just fun to do as she doesn’t know what hit her. She is in doubt if she is with a player or not. Then all of
a sudden she finds herself getting rails and thinks - Where the hell did that come from (even though she wanted
that in the first place)
Key thing here is this :
Here's a few little tips that reveal the mindset that you should be adopting...
(i) If a girl ever approaches me, and opens, no matter WHAT the excuse, my assumption is
(ii) If I open a girl, and after 1 minute or so she is smiling and responding well my assumption is
In these circumstances, my thoughts are : should I shag her? What time is it? Should I go for another girl, can
I be bothered, etc etc. You shouldn't be thinking GAMED HER at this point, at this point it should be GAME OVER, do I want to do it?
Though of course you still have to be mindful of outer game stuff (logistics, friends etc), but this should be on autopilot.
Steve Jabba
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Be Do Have
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CHAT
