I answer relationship questions for a living, and I thought that I would post some of the questions I receive from my clients, here on pick-up-artist-forum, just to see how divers the advice would be coming from the PUA community. So please leave some feedback.

Question:

Dear Chakara,

I (23 yrs) have been dating this guy (23yrs) for 7 months now. This is the first relationship for both of us and we love each other. We are both really nice to each other. He is a very sweet, smart, caring guy and he means the world to me. But there’s something in our relationship that’s making me really upset. He’s not very enthusiastic about the physical side of the relationship. I believe that, when two people are in love, it’s natural to want to be physical with them. He is happy to cuddle me. But everything beyond that seems forceful on my part. Even when it comes to hot and heavy making out, and going down on him, I feel like I’m forcing it on him. He tries to come up with all sorts of excuses to avoid it. When we do get intimate, he would finish off quickly, then becomes satisfied and would want to get dressed and end it, and I haven’t even started getting any pleasure. He never does any dirty talking or makes any sex jokes, which, even my male friends used to do with me when I was single. I mean, come on, we are not 12 year olds. Usually, it is the girl who is less inclined to be physical, but in our relationship, it seems to be the opposite. I’m not sure why he’s not into physical things. I know that he gets an erection even when we make out, but one day he told me that now he is desensitized to kissing now. He tells me that I’m good in bed, but his actions seem to prove otherwise. I try my best to be creative and make things pleasurable for him, but I don’t see it being reciprocated.
I feel really frustrated, bored, upset and angry. Yet I don’t want to break up with him because he is an amazing guy and I love him so much. Recently, we talked about having sex, and he told me that he wants to do it with me sometime in the near future. Up until then, he pretended like sex never existed, and I had no choice but to play along, because I was too shy and scared to be bold about it. I haven’t told him anything about this because, 1. I don’t want him to think that I’m sexually frustrated or horny or something, and, 2. I’m scared that bringing this up will ruin the otherwise beautiful relationship we have.
I don’t know if I’m being ridiculous here, or whether I have a right to feel this way about this. I’m worried that, if his libido is this low at 23 years of age, by the time he reaches 30 or 40, he’ll stop doing physical stuff completely and our relationship will be very dull and boring, and I feel that it’s not healthy. I love him so much, and I feel that physical intimacy ( and I don’t mean just cuddling), is just as important as emotional intimacy in a relationship.
What is going on here? Why do you think he’s not interested in physical things? This is really affecting me. Please advise me on what I should do.
Thanks