Hahah,.... yeahhh I probably shouldn't put myself through this drama, but deep down inside I really want to take a chance and see where it goes.

So we had small talk today, no more drama really. Actually, it was a normal conversation and she flirted.

Last week I told her about coming out to see my friend's show (which was today), and she said she'd come. Anyways, that was before all this drama. So today we just have a light text convo, and then I tell her I'm going to my friend's show and I'll talk to her later.

So she says "I thought you wanted me to come." ,..then I told her she could still come if she wants. She said she'd never make it there in time. I said it's cool if she comes late, we can hang out afterwards, otherwise no biggie some other time then. She said her mom has her car (they actually do share the car) and says ttyl. No bitchfest, no fighting, that's good.

Should I have asked her earlier today if she still wanted to come? It honestly didn't cross my mind to ask her, considering everything we just went through.

Lol,

I feel like this is a one person conversation now. Okay, quick question for anybody who can advise:

So as I said at beginning of thread, she deleted me off facebook. We ended our fight on good terms and we're still together. We hang out tonight, lots of fun.... So I brought up facebook generally speaking, and she's like "oh yeah by the way, we're not facebook friends anymore". I played stupid lol, and she's like "yeaahhhh it's okay, we weren't really ever friends anyways ". Lol, I don't really give a fuck if we're facebook friends but I do give a fuck what this MEANS.

yeah sounds pretty ambiguous.
This "MEANS" nothing! Really... nothing at all. She wants you confused and on your toes
If you want to get a handle on this relationship you're going to have to put your foot down at some point.
You need to recognize the games shes playing so you can call her out on it.
You have more options then ditch her, or do what you're doing. Lol and you haven't taken any chances. I can see where it goes.

Now I've only had one relationship in my life, granted it lasted nearly a year, but I've spent my life dealing with the problems you're explaining. I deal with similar ones myself, in fact. The most reassuring thing I can tell you, is that people with anxiety try to find the source of the problem in their everyday life, it helps us cope. The only problem with that, is that we generally tend to throw out logic in order to do that. I've had my anxiety problems since elementary school, and I'll still catch myself blaming things that didn't happen until last month. Doesn't make much sense, does it? The main reason for this, is that everyone can justify anything in their own mind. She could be blaming you for any psychological problems she possesses. The absolute WORST thing to do would be to simply tell her off and confront her about it at this point in time. It'll only help her to justify the fact that you're causing her pain and stress.

The next step I'd recommend for you, is to wait awhile. Give her some space. After a little time, she'll either think it through, and realize how dumb it is for her to blame you for her problems, or she'll move on to blaming something else. It doesn't usually take as long as you'd think. From personal experience, I'd say 3-5 weeks. After that, if you seriously want to be with her, go with the apologetic route. Take all the blame for everything, and explain to her some methods to fix that. "Hey, I just wanted to say that you're right. I haven't treated you in the way you deserve, and if it's possible, I'd like to try my absolute best to make it up to you. You mean a lot to me, and I only want you to be happy." But I stress this highly, do NOT do this unless you are serious about being with her. Otherwise, you WILL become a cause of anxiety for her.

On the sexual note, this is how I would handle that. To make her feel better about you and your intentions, ask her if she wants to give up sex for a little while. Setting a time period (1-2 months at first, but explain that it can be extended if things work for the better) works extremely well. This works out to your benefit, because you come across as the good boyfriend who is trying his best to calm her, and if she enjoys sex with you, she'll throw out the abstinence after about a week.

Once you get back into consistent communication, this is the way I would go about it, people with anxiety problems generally respond to logical responses, as long as you keep them slow, calm, and do your best not to come across as condescending. Don't inject ANY humor at ALL until you sense she's beginning to come out of her current slump. It makes you come across as if you don't care, and that will only hurt her more. Plus, she'll be less likely to see you as relationship material. She wants you there for her on an emotional level, and if she feels like you can't give that to her, she'll find it elsewhere. However, if you can time it appropriately as she's emerging from the mood, it can be the perfect thing for her.

P.S. Don't pressure her into it, she'll only become more stressed out and you'll see more problems in the future. Ask for her opinion on every topic when it comes to your relationship. It makes her feel more valuable and important to the situation, and to you as a person.

I hope this helps!

I don't mean to be dramatic. That is some of the most dangerously mistaken advice I've seen. You do not change you view of reality to appease and match the perception of a mentally unhealthy person. This is the worst kind of enabling. I have seen terrible things happen that could have possibly been prevented had this not been the case. But no need for ghost stories.

She has an anxiety issue. This is given. At no point did I intend to imply this to be anything other than the truth. It's a serious problem, and to be in a relationship you'll have to deal with it together. From time to time she is going to lose her shit. You do the best you can to comfort her when she does.

Manipulation is a learned practice. Carefully planning your actions to minimize your risk while still achieving your goal. The weak and helpless feeling that comes with anxiety lends itself to wanting to minimize risk. This option can not exist.

"yeaahhhh it's okay, we weren't really ever friends anyways *winky face*"
This is an intentionally ambiguous, and mixed message. It's meant to raise your anxiety forcing you to take action, and risks, and be venerable in ways she would rather not.

Am I saying "confront" her about it? Not necessarily. You can let her know it's unappreciated though.

A good first step is to be aware. If you're aware of the mind games then they can't work.

She also threw me for another loop last night. We're meeting up for a mutual friend's birthday party in 2 weeks and she said "I might sit across from you at the table" . This is the same place I met her about a year ago, so rather than ask her why across and not next to me, I joked about it being like meeting her all over again.

Is that something I should ask her about? As far as I know, her best friend (female) who's coming knows we're seeing eachother. She told me her best friend is going to 'grill me' with questions lol. Am I overthinking this, like the facebook comment?

I can't tell if she's playing games with me, or if she's lost attraction for me. Yesterday was my birthday and she got me the most thoughtful gift ever (it related to an inside joke from before our first date) and a couple other goodies personalized for me. We made out, and nearly had sex but I refused to go all the way (she was dying for it but I didn't for several reasons), so she gave me head. We were cuddling and she said "you're ALL MINE, and nobody elses, ever" and hugged me hard. In a sick way, I kinda think she only treated me this way last night because it was my birthday.

She didn't text me to say she got home like she always does, and since the fight she's cut back on texting / replying to me. I do initiate all of the texts now, but I don't double text or call her out on being a shitty texter. Actually I just texted her with some callback humor letting her know I had an awesome birthday. As far as she knows, I'm completely unphased by her changes, but you all know how I truly feel lol...

EDIT: Let me just make it clear that my GUT FEELING is that she says these things to confuse me and play with my mind (probably took some advice from a friend or magazine is my guess), and while internally I feel confusion, externally I show her that I'm unphased by it.