New years eve trouble!

My life doesn't make sense. 2012 almost did for a while. So, let me summarize this year.
Jan.
Recently quite working at SBarro's since it was seasonal and I wasn't getting any hours. Excited about Soul Calbur V's release date coming up 31st. Fucked some chick I road the bus with to and from work. Said I had this tea at my house she had to come and try [and she came over and tried the tea]. Then I fucked her. Ran out of condoms and she kept wanting to fuck me... Black chick... Not really into black chicks that much. But she was cool... in a fuck buddy sorta way. Never hung out with her again.

Met some chick late December 2011 and She came over to my place and me and her started fucking after about an hour over my house. She was irritating cause she always wanted to give me advice about shit that was common sense. Or things I had worked out anyway. And she was 30 while I was 28 and she acted as if her 2 years meant she knew better than me.

Looked for job and didn't find one. Nothing else really happened.

Feb.
Played loads and loads of soul Cal while looking for work and occasionally banging the annoying advice chick. Kinda stopped talking to her for a bit. Met some fugly chick at the college and was desperate to get laid so I used the "My slutty friend jessica is a slutty slut but I don't judge" story [You tell a girl about your whorish friend. Some story where you and your friend go to a party or something and she fucks like 4 guys at the party and steals the beer and starts running. And you go with her cause she's your friend and you say something like she's a pretty wild girl who like to have fun showing you're non judgmental.].

And fugly chick gives me her number and starts texting me and then wants me to meet her at the college. I fucked her behind these pine trees and then back at my house. It was convenient she was on birth control. And fun to play soul cal while this girl road me.

Mar.
Got a job at Home depot and was banging fugly and advice chick here and there.
Worked a lot. Worked more. and worked. Spent money going to ohio to visit my ex girlfriend Amy who I was still in love with. It was interesting that I felt something for her but no one else... I wanted to feel again for others girls.

Apr.
work work work. occasional visits. Advice chick keeps hinting that me and her should date. I tell her about Amy and how in love I am with her. Advice chick starts dissing on redheads. But she's still banging me. Also I had moved by this time to an area of detroit I hate. It sucks when you've got no car out here.

May.
Wrokity work work work. Advice chick is pissing me the fuck off. I go to a bar at some point and end up fucking some random girl in her car. Wasn't that good. Still not feeling anything for anyone. Advice chick admits that she was banging some other guy and me also and asks if I was sleeping with other girls. I say sometimes I do and that last week I had. And she flips out on me about this bullshit. Makes a big fucking deal about it. I tell her I'm tired of her. We never talk to each other again.

Jun.
Dry month... Worked but never once got laid. Depression sets in. Amy just wants to be friends.
I'm depressed nearly all of June. I met a bunch of girls and started to have feeling for them really soon, but didn't want to get hurt so I pushed them away and out of my life. Fugly runs into me at some gay pride thing... or was that july? I don't knwo. I don't want much to do with her.

Jul.
Also didn't get laid in July. Iwas was pretty depressing. I worked a lot. Then I got fired. For some bullshit. This was near the end of July.

Aug.
Randomly run into some ICP girl at a park and two guys. We end up renting a hotel room and not inviting the crazy crack head guy in the group. Me and the other guy fucked the shit out of this girl for a few hours taking turns. Pretty intense shit. I remember that my life usually doesn't make sense. But I forget about it when the rest of the month happens. I go to Ohio and take care of a legal matter I'd been putting off. And I don't get laid for the rest of the month and start getting really really depressed. I take Amy off my friends list on facebook and delete ALL of my friends.

Sep.
Started going to some thing out on 8 mile where they have bon fires. Met some older chick there and fucked her in the woods, then spend the night at her house and fucked all night. She tells me she has a boyfriend and a couple of guys she regularly sleeps with. I never see from her again since next time I go up there the bon fires have been shut down because of fights. don't get laid the rest of sep and I'm still very depressed and haven't met anyone I really feel anything for. I want to talk to Amy but at the same time I know she'll make me depressed. I love her but she doesn't love me.

Oct.
I remember that my birthday's always suck and I never get laid on my birthday. And all of October I don't get laid at all. Nor do I find a job. I'm depressed. I keep thinking about suicide. Someone tells me to get an OKCupid account, so I figure what the hell. But I'm still very very depressed. More so since I've stopped being emotionless.

Nov.
Youmacon. I meet a lot of girls at the anime con and find it's really easy to meet girls there... but I'm really depressed and still so down on myself. All the PU I knew is a scrambly mess in my head. The year has been so unsatisfying sexually. The only sex I had that I enjoyed was with some girl I was gang banging and I haven't heard from her. It also wasn't that good as much as purely entertaining.

I meet some girl from OKCupid and hang out with her.... but she said she feels awkward and she ends up dating some other guy. I meet another girl from OKC and we end up having sex. But she never talks to me again. And at this point I'm not at the top of my game really. I start thinking about the rope I have in the house and wondering if it's 13 loops or 7 for a noose. Someone convinces me to call the suicide hotline. They say I don't qualify for assistence and since I wasn't currently going to kill myself I'm not a threat.

I'm reading stuff online about ways to kill yourself with little pain. Or quick ways to die. Nothing seems satisfying... I figure one day I'll die and be free.

Dec.
I still don't have a job.
I have sex with some horribly ugly chick and less than a week later one of the hottest girls I've ever had sex with. Not only that I really liked that girl and was emotionally connected to her. But... Well let's progress this story.

2012 compared to other years of my life seemed to make sense. At this point things seem normal. Not the chaotic insanity my life usually is within a year. New years reminded me that my life really doesn't make sense. Before than the weirdest thing to happen was gang banging a random hoe.

So previously Harold was pushed into a fire pit because some jackass thought he was racist cause he said "'Sup my nigga's." And he's usually obnoxious. Also Bridget seemed really pissed last time I saw her.

So Harold brings me with him to some New Year's eve party. While in there he runs into the jackass who pushed him the fire. Big black guy. This guy comes up to Harold and says he and Harold says "Oh, hey Mark, this is Nick." I'm assuming Mark's head will explode after he understands that Harold isn't racist. No, cause my life doesn't make sense and people are fucking stupid as shit.

Instead He says "Oh NICK! Nick who raped Bridget." And I think . o O (Really gotta make sure I never fuck a crazy chick for the rest of my life. Especially if they're none to make shit up when they get pissed... Cause seriously this fucking blows.). I ignore him and go talk to someone else and he follows me the whole party and sounds like a broken record talking about how I raped bridget. At some point someone who knows Bridget says to him "You know she makes shit up all the time, had you spray paint Harold's lisense plate, and it on anti-psychotics that she sometimes refuses to take." and I say "What? That bitch is on anti psychotics?!" And this guy says "Yeah and she doesn't take her meds either."

Still, mark wants trouble and keeps following me around. Any girl I talk to he's there to tell them I raped Bridget. Some people are dumb enough to buy his bullshit. Others think he's a moron. Most think he's a moron. While outside smoking a cig and talking to some girl and a guy just telling jokes he wanders out there and goes on and on and I say to the guy and the girl. "Man, you ever hear a broken record. Those things are really irritating. It's like I'm retarded, I'm retarded, I'm retarded, I'm retarded..." The girl and the guy are laughing at Mark who then smacks my drink out my hand and punches me in the face.

I call the cops and leave. Detroit police never show up.
Harold leaves also. Later Mark smacks someone else in the face with a glass pitcher. There's blood everywhere and this guy's face has a cut near his mouth that gives him half a joker smile. Good thing we left when we did. Now Marks in jail since the guy pressed charges... Or so I've heard.

Moral of the story: Don't fuck girls like Bridget.
Girls like her sicken me. They get pissed at someone for whatever reason and decide to abuse what little power they have and make up a lie that someone raped them. Or one girl from 2 years back was mad that I didn't like her anymore [that way], moved on, and wasn't jealous of her boyfriend. So mad she started spreading rumors that I would stalk her and that I would show up to her house and stand outside.

Girls like that are disgusting. I hate when people lie. People like Bridget and Ashley [the one who claimed I stalked her, not Ashley White or Ashley B.] are what drives someone like me to hate women and want to be emotionally distant.


After we left the party I realized the cops were bull shiting me and weren't gonna show up. I really wanted him to get arrested. He'd pushed someone into a fire previously and now this. Well the next morning is when we hear about him cracking someone in the head with the pitcher. I assume he's in jail at this point.

However people in the neighborhood, some of them, started sending me messages on facebook about me raping Bridget. Hateful messages. I said to them "I owe you no explanation. I don't have to tell you what happened. Believe whatever you want to believe, this is childish and beneath me and I don't have time for it. Just stay the fuck out my life. I don't cause trouble so don't cause me any or else I'll get johnny law on your ass. If you don't understand that don't be angry when the police are dragging you to jail."

Some of them said they'll get the cops on me first.
Others said that I wouldn't be so confident about sicking the police on them if I actually raped anyone.

Overall I've deal with rumors before. People will believe what they want to believe. There isn't much point trying to convince them of the truth. I had someone think I stole $200 once and no matter how much proof or evidence I toss their way showing that I didn't. Or how much I defended myself they still acted as if I had stolen that money until they found out they'd misplaced it. And when they found the misplaced money they didn't even apologize for accusing me. And some of them still acted as if I had stolen it even when it was discovered someone just lost it.

That moment with the $200 taught me that there's no point in giving a shit. If I didn't do it then they can't get me in any legal trouble. And the Bridget thing isn't something I can prove anyway. Either people are stupid enough to believe the words of someone who's been known to lie and make shit up or they're not.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Another past issue...
Girl #3
While I was writing blog after blog about how much I loved Ashley White on Xanga I had Ashley B and Crazy Liz following my posts and leaving me comments about how sweet it was. I had Crazy liz's aim account and we'd chat sometimes.

I went to visit Ashley B. and was fucking her. At one point I was in the computer lab on Kent State's campus and decided to download a Game boy advance emulator and a rom for Zelda the minish Cap. Which wasn't even released in stores yet. Roms usually come out on IRC somewhere 3 days before the game is released. While playing Minish cap and seeing what it's all about I got a message from Liz, who was about 14 or 15. I don't remember, I was 21 at the time.

She was asking me to take her virginity... I told her I had just slept with someone else and that she's too young anyway. But she persisted and said I was a really awesome guy. I said no.


After a bunch of nonsense I make it back home to Elyria, OH. And was back to work. I felt a little bad I'd slept with Ashley B when I was so in love with Ashley White. Randomly one day I get a phone call from a number I didn't know. I answer it and the voice greets me with a friendly hello. I'm confused and don't know who it is. She says it's Liz and I say she doesn't sound like my cousin. I realize it's crazy Liz and ask how she got my number and she claims I gave it to her . It's all kinda creepy. I tell her she probably shouldn't call me.

A few months pass and she doesn't call me anymore but she still talks to me on aim. And I'm about to go on a date with Ashley and I'm extra excited and happy. ... but my dad kicks us out of the house before the day I'm going on a date with her... and he takes the car. We'd pay off half of the house in a year and the deal was we had 3 years to pay it all off and then we owned it. But it was in his name and his girlfriend didn't like us so she told him to kick us out. Also the car was my sisters and she'd paid for it in full but it was in our dad's name. He took the car from her. He gave the car to our cousin/his girlfriends daughter [see, life not making sense...]. So my uncle/dad's brother got a divorce and his wife [who isn't related to me or my dad, but is the mother of our cousins/his nephews and nieces] started dating my dad a few years later. And she told him to kick us out and sell the house and to give the car to her daughter/out cousin. Fucked up, I know.

Soooooooooo.... I moved in with my crazy ass mom. And post poned the date with Ashley. Drama kept happening at home and it was hard to just get to work [with no car] let alone go out on a date with this girl. She was very understanding and Liz kep messaging me on aim. I moved out of my mom's and into my friend Charles' house.

While there things started calming down and getting normal. I was saving money and me and Ashley set up a date to go and hang out. I was really excited about it and happy. Well, one night Charles was on my phone texting all sorts of horrible things to Ashley cause he hates her for some reason. She thought it was me. I told her it wasn't but she didn't wanna talk to me anymore and I was upset. I moved out of Charles' house back to my mom's.

All that money I saved... extorted or blackmailed by my mom. Threatening to kick me out or do something to my little brother unless I gave her money. She kicked me out few times too, which made it difficult with work. I tried living with my brother but he didn't want me there and my sister had moved out and got a room mate and there was no room for me. And I couldn't find a room mate and didn't have money to get an apartment either. I lived off and on at my moms house and on the streets.

I wanted to join the military and move far away, then change my name and never speak to my family again. When I went to join they said I couldn't join. All the branches did. Cause when I was 18 I was beaten up by racist cops in North Olmsted who didn't like having a black kid skate boarding at the skate park. I heard racial slurs while I was there once in a while and one of the kids who said them was apparently one of the cops sons. After the cops beat the shit out of me I was charged with assault on an officer [which often times means you got your ass kicked by racist fucking cops] which is a felony. It prevents me from joining the military and getting a lot of decent jobs.

I couldn't join the military. Had been kicked out of a home I paid a shit ton of money on. Was living off and on with a mother who milked me for all of my money and yelled and screamed at me every day and told me I was a horrible person. My older brother and sister weren't letting me move in with them. My best friend drove away the first girl I ever fell in love with. . o O (why the hell to I even acknowledge the rules?) I thought.

I'd been honest, nice, kind and played by the rules all my life.I was determined to keep being a "good" person even though life fucked me. Liz kept calling me and talking to me on aim and I kept telling her she's too young. Based on some law I never gave much thought about. At some point I was homeless again staying at friends house here and there and occasionally spending money on a hotel. I wasn't able to save money.

My mom gave me a car and asked me to pay her $400 for it. She put it in my name before I gave her any money. I never gave her a cent for that car. When she asked me for the money I told her "How much money have you taken from me? How many of the toys I wanted to save and sell when I was older did you sell of in a garage sale? Those are worth over $100,000 now if I sold them on E-bay by the way. How much money did you run up on my phone bill when I lived with you AND paid rent? How many times did you kick me out after I paid for your groceries and rent? Remember my financial aid check? $2,000 after all classes and books were paid for. How much of that did you steal from me again? OH YEAH!!! $500. If we don't count the toys it's still well over $5,000 that YOU owe me. Even after subtracting the $400 for the car."

She pleaded about how much she had needed the car and how much of a jam she was in and I said "When did you ever care if I was homeless and struggled to make it to work and find a place to sleep, then go back to work and not smell like I'm homeless so I don't get fired. I've had too many days at work where my manager complains that my clothes are dirty and smelly. Girls at work laugh at me because of this. My dating life and job are at risk. I don't care what your problems are anymore." She said I was cold and heartless. This person who'd blackmailed me with threats like "if you don't give me money your little brother is going to be grounded for a month." told me I was cold and heartless.

I lived in my car and decided to venture out to Oberlin, OH a lot of the time. Mostly to wash my clothes at the laungromat and hang out with old friends. I met a girl out there, Meredith.

Meredith was 16 or 17. I was 21. She was flirty with me and really hot. I told her she was too young. She said it didn't matter and that the age of consent law is just there to make money. She went on and on about psychological studies that show that there's no difference between how upset an older person is during a break-up or how damaged they are by it than a younger person. Nor does it make a different is a teenager is dating someone older or someone their own age. I thought about this for a bit, but still told her she was too young. Me and her hung out a lot whenever I was in Oberlin.

And one day I saw Liz at the library. I told her I was sitting next to her and she wanted to go hang out. I started hanging out with her on a regular basis and one day we went to Oberlin. I had been living in my Uncles old house... The one where I lost my virginity. I found out a way to get in the house even though most of the doors were locked. Basically climbed to the roof and in through the window like I used to do when I lived there if I was locked out. From the inside I unlocked the rest of the house.

We went there at some point and Liz was asking me to take her virginity. I thought about what Meredith said. I'd been thinking about it for a while. Life was really fucking me over. I didn't want to be a bad person. However I don't think someone who doesn't wear their seat belt is a bad person. I think laws about such a thing are there to make money. I had also researched the idea myself. and figured... what the hell.

And I had sex with Liz in an abandoned house I was living in.
Then we started dating off and on. And that was the 3rd girl I slept with.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Girl #4
I'd been dating Liz.
Her mom thought I was 16 years old cause I drove a car. People still think things like this. If I'm in a bar I'm 21. If I'm driving I must be 16. If I have a pack of cigarettes I'm 18. I look really young and people always assume I'm the youngest possible age a person can be for whatever activity I'm doing or place I'm at.

I never told her mom how old I was [21 at the time]. She was 15 at the time. Well, I realized she's a crazy ball on nonsense. I wasn't that she was too young cause she's still a crazy ball of nonsense to this day at age... o O ( umm.. divided by 18.4... carry the 1... minus...) 23. Liz was stupid, wasn't very funny, always did what I wanted to do, and generally really boring. It was fun having sex with her and all but I got tired of her and I broke up with her. She was kinda upset. About as upset as she was when other guys broke up with her [supporting Meredith's idea's and everything I read]. We still hung out here and there.

I went out to parties in Oberlin. Usually every friday and saturday.
There was a girl at work I liked, Danielle. Pretty hot server. Me and her would go and hang out from time to time.

And one night I went to Oberlin and got really trashed at some party. Some girl wanted me to dance with her and I said I wasn't in the mood to dance and she sat down next to me and started making out with me. I ended up going back to her dorm and fucking the shit out of her. All I really did was go to a party, get trashed. Sit on the couch and some girl asked me to dance. I said no, she made out with me and then she walked back to her dorm and I went with her and when we got there we started fucking.

In the morning I asked what her name was. Megan. I got her e-mail address [I don't remember why]. I walked her to class before I went to where I parked my car and drove to work. I e-mailed her and she responded saying she didn't want a relationship and she was acting out of the ordinary according to her friends. All I had said to her was hello and asked if she wanted to hang out sometime. I figured that meant no and responded "Okay" and she never replied. I never saw or heard from her again.


Then Liz begged and begged and begged and we started dating again. Somewhere in the middle of this begging was a blowjob. A really good one.


I guess sometimes random sex happens. Like with Megan.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

I certainly don't want to Jinx myself by talking about anything I'm anticipating or hoping for right now. SOOOOoooooo

Girl #5
I broke up with Liz [again]. It was the same reason I always broke up with her. I didn't really like her, not in a girlfriend sorta way. I mean I liked her as a person. But she kinda annoyed me. Thought it was unfair for both of us to date. I'm in a relationship with someone I don't really care for and she's in a relationship with someone who doesn't really care for her. The only mutual enjoyment was having sex and rare moments we make each others day [that just didn't happen enough].

Well, Liz started dating some other guy. She would send me messages all the time about how awesome he is and how he's got a monster cock and other stupid shit that I figured was designed to make me jealous. Or maybe to hurt me since I'd hurt her by breaking up with her. I just told her I was happy for her.

She tried to get this guy to kick my ass. Apparently the guy lived in Oberlin. I was there one day and she told him to find me and beat me up. I never saw him as I walked to the bus stop. But he claims we crossed paths and I ignored him cause I was scared. I don't know maybe he's just not that noticeable but the whole thing was childish. Liz sent me a message saying I was a pussy that ran away from a fight. I responded "Whatever. You're entitled to your own opinions."

My mom moved near downtown Elyria and I had gotten fired from my Job I held for 2.5 years. I was pretty upset about it. It was mostly poor circumstances that got me fired. I tried so hard and despite being homeless was late to work only once in 2.5 years. 5mins late that one time. I was unable to show up to a mandatory meeting and called in saying I didn't have a ride and the bus wasn't running that day. I got fired... *sigh*


I moved in with my mom for lack of anywhere to go and I was miserably depressed. I felt trapped. She yelled and screamed at me to get a job and stop being lazy while she sat on her ass and collected child support and made no attempt to find a job herself. She'd wake me up at 7am and tell me to leave the house to find a job [nothing was ever open that early. Most places didn't open till about 10 or 11. if you're lucky 8].

I eventually got a job at Subway. But I'd receive calls from my little brother while I'm at work. He's be crying on the other end of the line saying my mom was flipping out going crazy cause she didn't have cigarettes and he was scared. I was new at my job at the time, but I always asked if I could go home and make sure he's alright and I explained the situation. It was depressing I knew this wasn't looking good for me at work. And one of my co-workers apparently called me a nigger behind my back. Another told me blacks and whites shouldn't date or have sex and mixed kids are an abomination with no soul. I laughed at her and exclaimed that I'm an abomination with no soul. Then pretended to be depressed and said "Well, I guess I can't sell my soul to the Devil to learn the blues... *sigh*"

After work a lot of times I'd go to the bar and drink slowly. I'd stay till they closed. I just didn't want to go home. Not to my mother who was going to yell and scream at me the moment I went in the door. Not to hear how much of a horrible worthless piece of shit I am. I didn't wanna go home ever. So I went to the bar.

One night at the bar I saw some girl at the end of the bar eying me up. She kept staring at me and in the dark cloudy smoke filled bar I couldn't tell if she was hot or really what she had going on. She looked alright so I wandered over to her and said hello. She started chatting with me and bought me a beer. We just talked about whatever and told a few jokes... not many though. I wasn't really rainbows and sunshine back then and didn't tell many jokes.

She said I seemed depressed somewhere in there. I said "Yeah... a little." Then she says we're going to go on an adventure. So I tagged along. We split a cab and went back to her hotel that she lived in. Got some burger king on the way. In her room the lighting was better than the bar and I'm starting to notice she's a bit older than me. She says she's 35 and referred to me as "young buck." Kinda weird. But at least I'm not at home and at that moment that was what mattered most. I was 22 at the time btw.

She tells me to get naked and I stripped down to nothing and then she chuckles and remarks that that was easy. She starts blowing me and I use my feet to undo her belt and take her pants off and she makes some sorta remark about me being limber and dexterous. Then I put on a condom and we fuck like rabbits and she says that I'm amazing and moans and screams like a banshee.

Other than Megan [who seemed to moan if she looked at a penis] I've never had a girl do that before. Liz is silent all the time and so were all the other girls I'd slept with. I gave that a little bit of thought, but not much.

Afterwards Someone bangs on her door and tells her to pay for the room. Then she starts cussing them out and threatening to fight them and I'm thinking for the first time . o O (My life really doesn't make sense. This isn't normal. This doesn't happen to normal people... )

I decided it was best to leave. I quickly get dressed and leave and she doesn't get dressed and walks outside and storms towards the place where you pay for your room and starts cussing the girl behind the counter out. Yelling and screaming like a maniac. I never caught this girls name and I don't really care to.


As I was leaving I ran into some random dude I knew from the bar walking towards another hotel with this really hot chick. He says she's a freak and wants to be tag teamed and asks if I'm game. This girl is amazingly hot, but the situation is shady as hell and the last girl was a drama filled mess. I politely decline and keep walking and end up at home around 4:30am. My mom's asleep, good.

Though the next morning my mom tells me what a horrible person I am and how I'm such a slut and I was probably out all night banging every girl in town and telling them horrible lies. She's telling me that I call girls up and breath heavy on the other line then have sex with them and never talk to them again and how I probably got a bunch of girls pregnant and gave them a fake name. I put on a pair of head phones and crank up the volume.

Liz calls me and says she broke up with her boyfriend and that she got a car and she wants to go out with me. I think . o O (Car? hmm... means I get out of the house more often. She'll drive me places and I wont be here. I don't want to be here.). I tell her I'd liked to hang out sometime but I don't want to date her. And me and her end up being friends with benefits sorta. I never try to have sex with her, but she keeps trying to sleep with me hoping that I'll want to date her if she does... *sigh*

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Girl #6
I'm at the library one day. Some punk ass kid is trying to act tough and intimidate me while I'm on my computer and I tell him to stop being childish and calm down. He doesn't stop so I tell the Librarian who promptly kicks him out of the Library.

About 30mins later I leave the Library and this punk ass kid and I guess his two sisters are following me and yelling threats at me. They're saying they want to kick my ass. I spot a tree by the sidewalk about 20 meters up and know exactly what to do. I keep walking and say not a word to the kids behind me and then the tree is to my left. I leap in the air and side kick the tree with my left foot, use the rebounding force to spin around and give a very hard side kick with my right foot and landed facing them. Very calmly I say "I don't want to fight. Leave me alone."

The kid is about 5'6" maybe 115lbs at best. His sisters [or whoever the fuck they are] are shorter than him and maybe 100lbs at best. At the time I was 5'11" and 135lbs in near perfect shape [my hobbies included climbing rocks and trees, Martial arts training with my friend charles, running, push-ups, skateboarding, free running, and video games amongst other things].

This jackass kid and his two sister say "Whatever man, you soft." and walk away and leave me alone. Fucking assholes.

I continue on with my walk and this guy and his friend come up to me and tell me they'd been following the kids who were following me cause they were concerned about my safety. His name is Nick. I say it's easy to remember cause that's my name too. We start hanging out on a regular basis and now I have someone to go [other than the bar] on a regular that's not at home.

I don't hang out with Liz as much since I was mostly only hanging out with her to get out of the house.


When I walk home from Nick's house I always stop at the Hospital. It's the halfway point. I stop there, get something from the vending machine and relax for a bit and play my DS. There's also a park by the Hospital.

Well, one day I'm at the Hospital and I'm play Mario Kart DS [the greatest fucking game ever!!!]. And some chick asks me what I'm playing. I tell her and she wants to play. So I let her play for a little bit and then she goes to the picto-message on the ds. She writes a message that says "you sexy."

I draw a picture of a condom.
She draws a picture of a smiley face.
I draw a picture of a park [swings and a slide]
She copies my picture and adds two stick figures having sex in the park.

We get up and walk to the park and I notice a stairway that leads to some isolated spot. So instead of going to the park I go down this set of stairs and she's sitting on my lap. I pull down her pants and mine and pull out a condom and she's riding me reverse. Then we stand up and I'm taking her from behind.

Afterwards she says she had a lot of fun and I should come back and hang out with her. I say I come by that way pretty often.
I never run into her again and still have no idea what the fuck her name is.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Lucky #7
Nick moves away at some point and I'm 23 now.
Liz is 17. We've been hanging out more now that I don't really have anywhere to go to get the fuck out of the house.

One night my mom flips out on me and tells me to leave [I think cause I didn't give her my last cigarette]. I say I wanna grab some stuff first and put it in a back pack. She grabs a knife and threatens to stab me if I don't leave right away. I grab her wrist on the knife hand [her right hand and my right hand] and spin around [two steps, my right foot steps in from of her right foot, then my left foot in between her feet] quickly and smashed into her, but chop at her wrist till she drops the knife. i pick it up and toss it in the other room.

I tell her I'm getting my stuff and say "Don't you EVER try to stab me again. Next time it's not going to be pretty." [btw, it wasn't pretty the next time].

I end up running around with this guy Dan. Dan claimed to have banged over 30 girls. At the time it seemed like a lot to me. I had only had sex with 6 girls and I didn't even like any of them really. The hottest one was a 7. Dan was homeless and so was I. We ended up making friends with some guy who let us stay at his place. I went to work and found out I was fired. I asked to go home and make sure my little brother was safe too often my boss said.

At that moment I had never hated anyone in my life. I felt something horrible inside. I didn't like that feeling. I was like dislike but multiplied by 30 and mixed in with frustration and irritation with a dash of rage. I assumed this was what it feels like to hate someone. I didn't wanna hate her, but I was really starting to hate my mother.

While staying with Dan and Dan's friend I had a backpack full of Clothes and DS games. At some point Liz's mom and her mom's boyfriend went on some week long vacation. I stayed at Liz's house for most of the week. I started fucking around and learning new shit about sex. I would read about it and try out new things. I got liz to stop being to damned quiet during sex for a change. And she started buying me shit and wanted sex more often. I found that curious.

After the week was up I went back to Dan's place and one day him and his friends stole all my DS games and sold them. I reported them stolen and found out where they turned them in and Dan got arrested. After he got out he started talking to Liz and told her a bunch of lies about me.

Liz started bragging to me about how awesome Dan is and how lame I am. I told her he was full of shit and explained everything to her and how he stole my shit and showed her the police report. Somewhere in there she was bragging about how he has a monster cock and his nick name is pop can dan to her.

I assumed it was the usual nonsense from her. Normally I'd kick her to the curb but I was homeless and could use a girl who'll buy my shit and drive me everywhere.

Eventually my mom stopped being a bitch and I moved back in.


And one day. It was around Valentines day. Liz wanted me to come over for Valentines day. We were going out. She asked me while we were in the middle of having sex in her car. I just couldn't do it anymore. I told her I couldn't date her anymore and that it's unfair cause I just like her as a friend. She started crying and wanted to finish having sex. So I kept fucking her while she was crying which is awkward as all hell. Seriously... it's weird.


Afterwards she started dating some jackass who was bent on fighting me. I kept telling him it's childish and silly. And one night I was at the bar with my income tax money and he's texting me and saying he knows where I live [The entire time I dated liz she never knew where my house was. If she gave me a ride I always had her drop me off near my house but never at my house. She was kinda stupid and never really caught onto that concept or asked why I did it].

I'm kinda bummed out and annoyed and this random guy comes over and says I look like I'm having a bad night. I said "Yeah..." He says I should loan him $20 and after the bar closes hang out with him and he'll show me where the parties really at. I figured, what the hell, why not.


I'm walking with this guy and we go to some house that looked abandoned. We walk in and there's some old guy smoking a pipe and the guy talks to the old guy and hands him $20. The old guy gives him some crack. and I'm thinking . o O (Yeah... bad judgement call on my part, but what the hell I'll ride this out and see what happens.).

Next thing I know he's handing me a beer and asks if I smoke. I say "Weed and cigarettes." He says he likes that I'm not freaking out and nonjudgmental and passes me a joint. . o O (interesting...). These two girls come over and he's telling them I'm pretty awesome and tells the hot one [10/10. C-cup, slim waist, nice ass, long blonde hair, cute face, the list goes on] to "Take care of my buddy over there."

She tells me her name is Dyserea and lead me upstairs. And she gets naked and hands me a condom. I get naked put on the condom and me and her are having sex for about an hour before we're done. Then we're sitting around and chatting and she says "you don't mind if I smoke do you." I say no. She pulls out her crack pipe and starts smoking and asks if I wand a hit I say no thanks and light up a cigarette. Then I think . o O (Is she a... no... but the crack and the "take care of my buddy..."... It would be really rude to ask if she was... she's really nice and really fucking hot but I think she might be a... Nononononononono!! If I don't think of the word it's better. I'm just gonna think of... Mario Kart. On the DS. Such a good game. yes. MKDS)

And I pull out my DS and start playing Mario Kart and she wants to play and we're laughing and joking. And we have sex again.


I asked for her number and she says she doesn't have a phone at the moment and asks for mine. I also didn't have a phone at the moment. And she says "Well, I'll see you when I see you then." With a smile. Eventually I walk home and think . o O (okay was she a... MARIO KART!!!! MARIO KART!!!!!) and when I get home I play Mario Kart all night until I fall asleep.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Girl number eight.... *sigh*.... Really don't want to remember and relive this....

So I never saw Dyserea again. MARIO KART!!!!!
At some point I move back in with my mom and Liz is still dating her asshole boyfriend.

He keeps trying to fight me because of shit she's telling him. I'm 23 and he's 18 or 19. I don't remember. I'm at the mall one day playing DDR and he's there with her and he's yelling and screaming at me and saying he's gonna whoop my ass. He's not doing anything but trying to act tough in front of his girlfriend and the thought line with like this . o O ( I know I could get her to fuck me right now and throw it in his face.... but I'm done with her.. He has called me a nigger before and I can.. HAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAhAhAhA!!!! I can be an evil bastard sometimes)

I ignore him and keep playing my set on DDR. He keeps saying more and more intense shit to get a rise out of me. Occasionally I make comments like "Yeah, I haven't heard insults like that since the 7th grade." and he'll say something worse. I pick a song that has a really long break in it [if you take away all the 8th notes]. And egg him on till he calls me a nigger [timed just as the breaks coming YES!!!]. I jump off the pad and in his face and say "Thems fighting words. But I don't wanna fight in the arcade and get banned so I'll show you where we can fight and not get in trouble." He starts to say something and I cut him off with "But first I'm gonna finish my song!!" and I jump back on the mat [the break was over] and finish the song [last of my set].

Now me him and Liz are walking and he's yelling at me about how I'm a nigger and he's going to whoop my ass and I keep saying things like "Do you always use your indoor voice?" or "You're as intimidating as a box full of kittens." and with each comment I make he screams louder about how he's going to beat me up and I'm a nigger. As we're walking I'm leading the way and walking in front as him and Liz trail behind.

At some point we're in the middle of the food court on this Friday afternoon. The mall is packed and they always have police in the food court on fridays as well as extra security. These people see a Black kid [mixed actually] walking away from a White kid and his girlfriend who's screaming at the top of his lungs that the black kids a nigger and he's going to beat his ass. I walk up to the head of security and say "This guy wont leave me alone and he's threatening me."

He's escorted out of the mall by the police and told he's never aloud back on mall property. He has to walk all the way around the mall to get to his car and gets hasselled by the cops as he tries to walk to it. I think he got arrested. Me and my friends watched for a bit and laughed at him. He texted me calling me a bitch.


Later he keeps sending me threats on myspace about how he's gonna kick my ass. How much of a pussy I am, blah blah blah. I tell him that during my day I'm going to be hanging out with people except for a 2 hour time window where I'll be at the park by myself. I tell him where I'll be and how to find the location in the woods. I sleep in until it's time to go and I'm there at this park by myself and he shows up right on schedule.

He's yelling that I'm a bitch and I should do what I said I was gonna do. I said "I am. I said I wouldn't back down if you fought me, nothing more, nothing less. You're the one who's not doing as you said you were. You said you were going to kick my ass but all you're doing is talking. Are you afraid?" He rushes towards me with the look of murder in his eyes. It was kinda scary. He was probably going to kick my ass. I wasn't afraid, didn't move or flinch.

He steps on a pile of leaves and dirt that's been set on top of a Tarp which is covering a 12' hole me and my friends dug into the ground out of boredom over the last 3 years. I walk up to the hole and he's swearing like a sailor and going berserk. I tell him I'm not going to give him the rope if he doesn't use his manners. He calms down and I tell him "It puts the lotion on the skin. It does what it's told." he says "That's not fucking funny man!!!" and I say "It puts the lotion on the skin. It does what it's told." in a really angered frustrated tone. I toss him a bottle of lotion. He puts some lotion on and I toss him the rope and leave while thinking . o O (should I have told him the rope wasn't tied to anything?).


A few weeks later I run into Liz's new boyfriend. Apparently the last one broke up with her after being trapped in a hole in the middle of the woods. I've been meaning to ask how he got out of that but never bothered to do so.

This new boyfriend confronts me and says "My girl hear says you raped her." and I say in a cheery voice "Oh Liz, you and you're silly stories." and he says "It's not a laughing matter." I say "What if you're raping a clown?" He laughs a little bit and asks "Well did you?" I say "What do you think? Ex girlfriend of mine. Talks about me all the time. Obsessed. Wants you to kick my ass. You seem like a reasonable guy. Smarter than her last boyfriend. I'm sure you've had crazy ex's before. Are the stories they tell about you all true?"

He says "Well, no. My ex girlfriends make shit up about me all the time. I see where you're going with this. Have a nice day dude." and Liz is yelling and screaming at him and he walks away and she runs after him.

About a year passes and I don't hear from liz [thank god]. I'm 24 and my mom is getting kicked out of her house cause she can't pay her fucking rent [seriously bad money management with that woman]. I get a job at Cedar Point [30 miles away from where I am]. I have no money. Me, my mom, and little brother move in with my cousin Liz and her boyfriend. btw Cousin liz isn't crazy psycho ex... that would be so fucked up if she was... Just my cousin.

Cedar point gives you a place to stay and a job. I'm asking all my friends for a ride up there [I don't start work for a month]. All of them say no. Not a single friend wants to drive me 30 miles to this job. Or loan me $14 to get there.

Every bit of money I make goes towards food so my little brother doesn't starve. And then it's three days before Cedar point [the day I start work].

No one will give me a ride. It's 30 miles. I have feet. I pack all my things into a backpack and start walking.
While walking on route 2 I run into a cop and he says i can't be on the highway and asks what I'm doing. I explain the story and he drives me just out of his Jurisdiction and puts me on route 6 [which I can walk on] and points me in the right direction. Officer Troy, I'll never forget him. I continue my walk and my thoughts about people are increasingly getting more and more negative. I'm thinking . o O (I have no real friends. People are selfish scumbags. I'm done with people... Just gonna work and forget about everyone else.).

While walking a man who's cutting his lawn asked if I was ex military. I said no and he asks what I'm walking for and where too. I explain. He says his cars broken down but runs inside and comes out with 3 cans of mountain dew and 4 cigarettes and says "It ain't much but it's the best I can offer you." I say thank you and stop thinking people suck so much and continue walking till I get to a bar. I go in and grab some water and some girl is flirting with me. I'm thinking . o O (I should try to fuck her. Cause if I fuck her I'll have a place to stay tonight.). It's working out and we end up making out.

Then Captain Cockblock swoops in and disses me and charms her socks off and leaves with her. And I'm there wishing he was dead. The bar closes and I keep walking. I find a hill and try to sleep... but it's getting wet and cold. I keep walking figuring I'll find someone else.

I come across a barn. The plant life in front is over grown and untended. No one's been her for over a year. I go inside and pull out my blanket from my backpack. I've had that blanket since I was 12. I put it on the dirt and sleep on the blanket.

In the morning I fold it up so that the clean side is facing out so I don't get everything in my back pack dirty. I keep walking. I didn't sleep well and I'm still tired. Eventually I make it out of Huron and I'm in Sandusky [where Cedarpoint is]. Recap, started in Elyria, walked on Route 2 and made it to Amherst before a cop picked me up and took me to Vermillion [Officer Troy is pretty cool]. Walked all the way through Vermillion and ran into the old ex military guy who gave me pears and Mountain dew along the way. Then I went to a bar in Huron and got cockblocked. Slept in a barn in Huron and woke up and made it to Sandusky.

While in Sandusky I'm tired still and I see a church. I figure I can go in and pretend to pray and get some sleep. It's inbetween services when I get there. There are snacks and orange juice. I help myself to one donut and one glass so as not to impose. A group invites me to their table and asks what's going on. I explain. They tell me to have all the donuts I want and as much Orange juice as I want. I drink OJ like it's going out of style.

A couple at the table offers to drive me to Cedar point [at this point 7 miles away I think]. And they give me $10 when I get there. I decline but they insist. I stop thinking people suck so much and realize it's just my asshole "friends" back at home. I'm starting to hate them. I already hate my mom. My dad, don't like him either. I have no one and I'm alone. Most people suck ass, but there are some good ones out there. That's how I felt.


I get settled in and grab my first pay check. I buy new clothes and wash all of mine. I wash my blanket finally too. And I've got more than $10 two pears, and three cans of mountain dew to last for 2 weeks this time. I appreciate every little thing life has to offer. Water, sugar. I take nothing for granted.

One day a bus shows up that says "Club X" on it. It's by the dorms outside the gate and people are getting on the bus. Intrigued I hop on. Club X is a gay club. While I'm there this guy is hitting on me and buying me drinks. I feel I should tell him I'm straight. So I do. And he buys me a few shots and thanks me for being honest. After a while I'm shitfaced and he leads me to his freinds and introduces me to this girl and says she's really horny. Me and her start making out and I go back to her house that night. We're fucking all night, but it's kinda creeping me out that she says shit like "Oh yeah fuck me. I'm a bad girl [random dirty talk]". I'm just not into that sorta thing. She wants me to talk dirty to her, I don't want to. I try to go to sleep but she starts giving me a blow just and then starts riding me and saying shit like "OH yeah, I'm a bad girl. Fucking fuck me."

Eventually i fall asleep while she's banging me..

I wake up and realize just how much alcohol impairs ones judgment. I remember going to bed with a really hot girl, but I woke up next to Shamu. *sigh*.... . o O ( Will I ever have sex with someone I actually like? Or have a relationship with a girl I like?) I think. I go to work the next day. I see this girl again but kinda kept the conversation brief and too the point.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Girl #9!!!!
Remember how I said I got my ass kicked by racist cops when I was 18?
Yeah.... Felon. Me. So the judge is a little prankster bitch whore cunt. She tells me I have 1 year probation and fines to pay. Once I'm off probation and all my fines are paid the charge is expunged from my record. Meaning on an app I could say no to the question "have you ever been convicted of a felony?". She's probably laughing her ass off right now telling her friends "And then I told him that when he's done with probation the charges would be expunged! hahahahahahaha"

So I'm working at Cedar Point. I live there too. In the dorms.
Pretty sweet set up. Live for free all summer, work, make some money. As long as you work and do your job it's all gravy.

My friend Ryo worked there. We'd been friends for 3 years. And we were roommates at Cedar point. I meet this girl. I can't remember her name anymore. Mary? yeah, Mary. I kinda like her. I introduce her to the last friend I have left on the planet, Ryo. He's always been a loyal friend. When I was homeless I stayed at his place a lot of times. When he was homeless he stayed at my place. We shared stories about how our mothers are both psycho bitches. We've been homeless together and toughed it out. I found him a job. He told me about Cedar point. We were good friends to each other and loyal to the end or ends.

Mary and Ryo get along well. I like this girl and Ryo says "Wow, you really like that girl Nick." I ask "Do you like her?" and he says "Only as a friend. She's cool, I'm just not into her you know." Me Ryo and Mary often go to the bowling alley. They gave discounts to Cedar Point employee's.

One night I'm going to sleep and me and Ryo are up talking all night and he asks again "Do you like Mary?" and I say "Yeah... ". then I think for a moment and ask "Do you like her or something?" and he says "No man. Not at all. Let's go bowling tomorrow, what time do you get off work?" I say "I get off work around 8 tomorrow. Bowling sounds fun." And we're telling jokes and bsing and then fall asleep. Life was good.

I go to work and it's a slow day. My boss tries to get me to be a manager at the stand and I ask if I can transfer to Friday's instead. He says sure. I organize a bunch of stuff in the back and show the cooks how to use the heat lamps so the food comes to the customer faster. I help the manager do inventory since he keeps ordering too much and our freezer is hard to walk through. They ask me to be the manager again and I say I don't want to I just want to transfer to the fridays. Since it was slow and I got so much work done they let me go home at 4 instead of 8.

I'm happy to have time off since I worked 80 hours a week on average. I go back to the dorm and get there around 5 and find Ryo in bed with Mary. Both of them are naked, cuddling and giggling and laughing. They're shocked I'm there. Ryo says "How'd your day go?" I reply "Very productive. I got a lot of work done was offered to be a manager again and asked about Fridays again. But I've got this sharp pain in my back." I grab my back and wense in pain and say "OW FUCK!! THIS HURTS!!" Ryo looks concerned and says "What happened to your back?" I stand up straight revealing the my back is perfectly fine and say in a calm voice "I don't know. It feels like someone put a knife in it." Ryo, being a clever guy, understands the message and says "Oh... um... wanna go bowling?" Dryly I say "Sure, Ryo, let's go bowling later." and I leave the room.

We go bowling that night and Mary and Ryo are flirting the whole time. making out here and there and Mary says shit to me like "Isn't Ryo just the most amazing guy ever?" or tells me how much she likes him. Ryo says to me "Mary's such a wonderful girl Nick, aren't you happy..." I cut him off with a menacing hate stare. He doesn't finish his sentence and he takes his turn. I get up and walk away to smoke a cig.

I'm climbing on the cross beams of the awning and some girl is doing the same. We chat for a while and laugh and joke. I usually don't laugh and joke but this girls got me going. She's really funny too. She asks what's going on I vaguely elude to what's buggin' me and she says "Your friend sounds like a jackass, let's ditch this place and go somewhere else." So I tag along with Christi, my new friend.

I'm questioning everything now. I feel like I have no friends and that trust isn't something I should give anyone. Me and Christi hang out almost every day and we talk about things like that and both openly tell each other that we don't trust one another. me and her both feel that everyone you ever meet will stab you in the back at any point in time given the correct motive. No one is to be trusted.

Christi is a lesbian. She tells me about her father. While growing up things would happen where he'd be busy on the computer and she wanted him to play with her. She was 4 when it first happens she remembered. She said to him "You don't love me!" in frustration because he was too busy to play with her. He backhanded her in the face so hard he knocked her on the ground and said "Don't you ever say I don't love you." We were talking about how for the most part your parents shape how you feel about people of that gender and what you look for. Most people end up straight and guys for after girls that're like their mother and have friends that're like their father. And vice versa for girls. She even noted that most of her girlfriends were like her mother and that she tries to avoid guys in general cause she always has an irrational fear around them. Especially when she falls for a guy, she just doesn't feel safe. Usually a guy get's frustrated things aren't moving fast enough.


There was also some girl I met while playing soccer one day. She was kicking a ball back and forth and thought I was cute. We'd hung out all the time. But she felt like Liz. Like if I did anything with this girl she was gonna cling to me like white on rice and flip out if I ever left her. I knew I could've fucked that girl but I always avoided the idea. Instead I hung out with Christi a lot. Crazy girl would scream at me "Christi's gay!! She's not going to date you or fuck you. Why wont you go out with me." Definitely like Liz. I hung out with her less and less because of that.

Eventually Crazy girl got fired and I thought . o O (Man.... I could'a fucked her and then she was going to get fired and I'd never see her again. I guess that would be a bit assholish...).

One night Christi and I were out in the courtyard telling jokes and Mary was there. Christi said "What's worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can?" Mary said "Ew, I can't stand those jokes they gross me out." I said "1 dead baby in 10 garbage cans." Me and Christi laughed and Mary said "Okay, you had your joke. Now stop, they aren't funny." I said "What's the different between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?" Christi said "You don't have a Lamborghini in your garage." and we laughed and Mary said "Seriously stop with your sick jokes." Christi said "What's blue and pink and sits in the corner of my room?" I said "A baby that found a plastic bag. What's Green and blue and sits in the same corner?" Christi says "The same baby a week later." Mary looks like she vomits in her mouth a little and she leaves.

She walks towards my dorm.

Christi comes over and spends the night and Ryo's there with Mary who's also going to spend the night. Me and Christi tell Dead baby jokes all night long. Ryo tells a few himself at first until he realizes why we're telling them. Mary leaves the room and slams the door behind her.

Ryo follows after her. That night Christi cuddled in bed with me and then out of the blue and said she didn't feel comfortable or safe. I said I understood and climbed to the top bunk before kissing her on the forehead. She smiled and said thank you. I walked her to her dorm in the morning before work.


Mary started cheating on Ryo with some guy from Texas who claimed to have money. He was really upset about it and me and Christi took him out and cheered him up. He said he felt like an asshole and that he didn't deserve friends like us. I figured I would never trust him or anyone else as long as I lived.

Note: Somewhere in here I discovered that Mary was my friend Ryan's sister. I knew Ryan from Oberlin, he lived there but went to a different school We'd met in college. Mary knew Meredith [the girl who told me age of consent is bullshit designed to make money]. Mary told me how Meredith would go to party and the guys at the party would run trains on her. I made a mental note of this.

Basically me and Ryo hung out with Christi everyday and I was making progress with her. She said she felt safe with me and would spend the night a lot. We started kissing. I really liked her. Then it happened.


My boss, the one who kept trying to get me to be a manager and never actually talked to Fridays got angry with me. I stopped organizing my stand and stopped helping my manager do his job. So the bossman was looking bad. He never had any plans to transfer me. There was a point system at cedar point. Things like showing up late or whatever got you points. If you had 8 you were fired. I'd get 7 and then wait three weeks without points and they're got back to 0, then I'd get 7 again. There wasn't shit he could do to me. I was untouchable. So I thought.

I get pulled into the office and his boss explains that I'm fired because I lied on my application. I said I had never been convicted of a felony when in fact I have. and I thought . o O (that judge is a fucking bitch!!) Not only was I fired but I was never aloud to work at Cedar point again. I tried to explain what happened. He said he understood and it happens a lot but there was nothing he could do about it.


Aaaaaaand I was homeless again. Ryo got Fired that day too. Christi said she's give us a Ride to Ryo's house after she got off work. Some girl I kinda liked and talked to once in a while confessed that she had a crush on me and she'll miss me but we should keep in touch. I asked her if she had myspace since my phone was off. She said "Myspace? No, I have facebook though."
"What's facebook?" I asked "It's this new thing. It's pretty cool. Start an account and look me up my name is [name that I don't remember]." I said "okay... I guess I'll check it out."

This guy Dan I knew told me that I should look him up. He'll hook me up with a job out in Erie PA and that it's a chill place to live. Not thinking I said "Yeah, sure. I'd love that." I thought it would be great, I'll get hooked up with a job and room mates.


Christi gives us a ride to Ryo's.
I stay for about a week before I tough the streets again.
I end up staying with some guy named Mike I met when I hung out with "Pop can dan" [what a fucking asshole]. Mike is gay, but whatever. While staying there I landed a Job at Pacific sun wear. I had known the manager for a while and we'd always chat and flirt when I went in the store back when she wasn't the manager.

There was this really cute girl I liked who worked there.
My mom gets a house in Lorain and invites me to move in cause she doesn't want me living on the streets anymore. So I move back in and work part time at Pac Sun and the cute girl flirts with me a lot. I find Cedar point girl on Facebook also. And life is starting to work out... but my mom is pretty random and crazy.

I get a construction Job from her land lord which is starting to work out really well. I'm learning a trade and making money. Then one day my mom flips out and kicks me out of the house again. I don't even know why. There's never a rational reason. This time I'm so sick of being homeless so frustrated of her. I hate her. People suck everywhere.

I call my boss and tell him what happened. I tell him to give my pay check to my mom for rent cause I'd rather not see my brother on the streets. I say I can't come to work and explain. he understands. I go to the mall and tell Pac Sun what happened and that I gotta go to Detroit. She understands and wishes me luck. I don't want to be homeless. I'm so tired of everytime I'm about to succeed shit falls apart.


I sell my DS and mario kart [sigh....]. I use the money to get a greyhound to Detroit, MI. In Detroit I walk to my grandmothes house and she lets me stay with her. I start working construction with my cousin's boyfriend. They're really unorganized and rather lazy and don't always have hours for me. So roughly once every 3 weeks I work and make only $50. I have trouble finding a job. I started hanging out at Wayne state university with the college students.

I meet this girl, Lisa. Short Asian girl. about a 7/10.
Through her I meet a lot of other people and end up hanging out in their dorms and buying all of their alcohol since they're too young to buy it. They give me cash, I buy it, we hang out and party.

The first day I met Lisa I thought . o O (I wouldn't mind fucking her). And when I left that day I thought . o O (I remember the first time I got laid. I gave the girl a really nice hug the first night I met her just as I left. Worth another try). I gave her a hug, didn't try to kiss her and left.

Next time I saw her we got high and she invited me into her dorm and we fucked like rabbits.
I still trusted NO ONE. No one at all is to be trusted.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Girl #10
At this point I'm 24 and I lost my V-card at 19 and I've slept with 9 girls. 9/5 rounds up to 2 roughly.
So there was a girl Back in Elyria I used to hang out with just before I walked to fucking Cedar point and lost faith in humanity. Deb. She was 13 when I met her. I don't really remember how old I was, but whatever. I would see her as I went back and forth to work and we'd chat sometimes. Usually she'd ask me to buy her cigs and I'd sometimes do it.

Anyway I'm living in Detroit now. I was fucking Lisa. We started going out and then one day she breaks up with me. She gives me ten e pills and says she wants to quit and I can have them. I sell them for $10 a pill around the dorm instead.

She starts fucking a bunch of other dudes before we broke up. She tells me she's in 3 open relationships. And then breaks up with me. I'm still hanging out with some of her friends. Mostly people I'd meet before I met her. She starts fucking all of them, which is cool. She's also rubbing it in and telling me how she fucked all my friends. She's being a bitch, but I don't let it bother me. It's just how people are I think. People generally suck.

One day my sister is talking to me online and asks if I want to move to Cleveland and move in with her. Sure I say. I'm tired of Detroit, can't find work in this shit hole I think.


My life will never be the same....


I live at my sisters and find work at bennigans. And randomly Deb adds me on Myspace. Okay...
We start talking and she's 16 now and she says she likes me. I figure what the hell and ask her out and she says yes.
She gets a ride out to Cleveland from Lorain and we hang out all day. I'm getting butterflies and shit. She's such an amazing girl. We talk about all sorts of fun things. Philosophy, science, psych, jokes in poor taste, etc. etc.. I really like this girl.

We go back to my sisters house and we were drinking 40's all day. She reveals it's so she'll be more out going and not so nervous. I grab her 40 and chug it and say "You don't need to be drunk to be around me. I like you just the way you are." She smiles and kisses me and we're making out and I grab her breast and she stops and says "I didn't say you could grab my breast." I say "Sorry, I just figured it was okay since we're going out." I don't grab it anymore and we're making out and she stops and ask "Where do you sleep at?"

I show her and she's making out with me by the corner of the room I sleep at on my pile of blankets [including my favorite I've had since I was 12]. Then she grabs my hand and puts it on her breast. I'm extra happy right now. And she whispers in my ear "Do you like anal?" I respond by taking her shirt off. We both get undressed and then we're having sex, I'm putting it in her ass.

And at that moment I was changed. I experienced for the first time what sex is like when it's with a girl you really really really really like lots and lots and lots. It didn't matter if the sex was good or bad cause I liked her so much that it would always be good.

Afterwards we smoked a cirgarette and cuddled. We talked and hung out all day. It was bliss. I was so happy and over joyed.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Mysterious #11
I was 24 and had an average of 2 girls every year. 10 girls and I'd lost my V-card at 19.
At the time I was happy as a clam dating Deb. I was in love with this girl. During the relationship we'd only had sex once. I didn't even care that we weren't having sex. Basically a lot of inconvenience prevented us from having sex more than that. But it didn't bother me I just liked being around her.

And then I found out my little brother went to school with her... *sigh*.
He kept his mouth shut about her age. But somehow, someway, my sister found out. She wasn't very happy about it and was screaming at me for dating a 16 year old.

One day Deb was supposed to go with me to a party at my friends house and spend the night and then go home. The plan was we paid my sister $20 for gas to pick her up and drop her off the next day. My sister intentionally gave disinfomation to Deb so Deb only gave her $10 instead of $20. I had been using my sisters phone for contact since I didn't have one.

When Deb showed up and found out she wasn't getting a ride home unless she got $10 she wasn't happy. I sold a lot of my stuff to get $10 and then Deb said "Nick, it's not going to work out unless one of us has our own place and doesn't have to deal with a crazy family." I stopped and thought about it and said "You're right. I love you but I agree we should break up." And she kissed me. The best kiss I've ever had and said "I love you too. I'm going to call my mom right now and let her know I'm in Cleveland and not at a friends house."

She made the call. Afterward We hugged for what seemed like forever. Neither of us wanted to let go and she said "Call me in 2 years when I'm 18. I love you." And she walked away.

Oddly I wasn't said or upset. Everything made perfect sense. When I think of her I'm always happy.


So I went to that party and was fine. My friends asked where my girlfriend was I told them we broke up and they said I seemed really happy for a guy who'd broken up with a girl I was in love with. I said "Everything made sense. My relationship got Stage killed and we called it quits." Stage killed refers to Smash bro.s. In Smash brothers on some stages there's a hazard that can kill you. Like a fish that leaps out of the water and eats you. Also you fight against your friends and can kill them. Normally they die at each others hands, but if the fish or something else kills you they call it a Stage kill.

So a relationship that fall apart because those in the relationship have a disagreement is killed normally.
A relationship that falls apart because of external forces and not the two in the relationship is one that's stage killed.


At the party there's lot's of girls and I don't get laid.


A few months go by and I'm annoyed I haven't gotten laid in roughly 5 months or so. I had bought Mystery Method. Figure all the nonsense I hear about it it's worth a try. I read it in a 3 days and take a few notes. And then one night I decided I was going to get laid.

I have these pants that used to be black. Then I bleached them to a tan. Then I dyed them red. They have holes in them. I also wore my sisters fancy red frame gucci sun glasses [neutral sex]. Red shoes, a black shirt with a red and white logo [Dekline skateboarding company shirt] and a rather fancy zip up hooded sweatshirt. Then I was off to the 24 hour coffee shop.

I see a bunch of people I know and they know I'm weird and think nothing of me wearing this weird get up. They just say "Hey Chocolate Thunder, what's up?" I chill with my friends for a moment or two and spot a group of girls and guys. Hot girls. One of the guys is visibly the dumbest in the group.

note: in Detroit when my sister asked me to move to Cleveland she also told me I'm and INTJ. I said what the fuck is that? She explained it's a personality type and there are 16 types. I looked them up and started researching it. Figuring people aren't to be trusted, but one can trust them to be them. Also while in Cleveland I read lots of books about Body language and tell tell signs e.g. Someone who walks mostly on their toes doesn't want to make waves or disturb the environment. I also would watch reality tv a lot for practice. I'd been doing this since I'd lived in Detroit. So spotting the dumbest of the group isn't too difficult

The dumbest one gets up and walks away from the group and I get up and act as if I'm just walking that direction when I catch up to him. He's smoking a Black and Mild and I have Camel Crush's. I tell him I can make him a menthol black and mild and he thinks it's the coolest thing in the world while I'm thinking . o O (Really, it's not that fucking cool...).

I take a camel crush cigarette and pull out the filter. I get the menthol ball out and put it at the end of the black and mild and crush it. Now the black and mild is menthol flavored.

He invites me to join his group [my plan in the first place] and brings me over to them and tells them how cool it is that I made the Menthol black and mild. One person in the group looked like me. Well he was white and certainly wasn't dressed like me, it was his expression. The look in his eyes was the one I see when I look in the mirror. The same I see in pictures of me. He Facial jestures were close to me also and the way he chose his words as he talked. He was like me. I immediately introduced myself to him before retard can introduce us. I extent my hand and say "Nick." He shakes me hand and says "Tony, nice to meet you." I ask him what's worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can. He laughs and says 1 dead baby in ten garbage cans.

Me and my new friend Tony are laughing and telling jokes then we're talking about psych, and philosophy, and robots and video games and acting like we've known each other for years. I'm thinking . o O (INTJ... Thanks Celia for showing me that).

I wander inside, cause my manual says I should. I play some smash brothers, order a coffee and chill for a bit before I go back out. When I go back out the group invites me to come over their house for a jam session. While there no jam session ever happens and I wanna liven things up so I say "Hey I'm gonna run to the store and get some beers, anyone need me to buy drinks?" And one of the guys [the stupid one] says "yeah. Wait how old are you?" I say "I'm 24. So if you want me to buy alcohol I got ya covered." Stupid guy says he'll give me a ride and one of the girls gives me money for beer and pretty much everyone else chips in too.

When I get there stupid guy buys me drinks and tells me not to worry about spending my money. [unknown to everyone involved I didn't have any money at all. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *COUGH HACK COUGH* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!]

We get back and they're drinking and some of the guys wanna get Taco Bell. I say I've got a fun game and I know that Tony is going to think it's bullshit. Cause Tony's like me and I thought it was a load of crap when I first heard it too. I say I just need to ask a few vague questions and then I can tell a lot about a person from it. There's a really hot chick in the room and I start at her right with one of the guys. It's the Cube in the Dessert!!! I heard about it when I was 7 or 8 or some shit. Apparently it's also in the book "The game".

Here's how it works you ask these questions and they represent certain things. You never want measurements from a person but you want to hear shit like Long and small or other vague descritions that really just gives you an idea of how the person who said the word views whatever they're talking about.

Describe a dessert. The description they give you from their imagination is how they view the world.

There's a cube how big is it, what color, and where is it at? The size is their ego and self esteem. Color is personality, if it's on the ground they're down to earth. In the air they're lost in thought and a world of ideas.

There's a body of water, describe it. The body of water is their Sexuality. If someone says a shallow puddle they aren't getting laid. If it's a running river they're fucking a lot. If it's deep, you get the idea. Also life in the water means more sexual.

There's a horse, what's it doing? Also describe what it's like. The horse is their ideal lover. Or was the horse them... I don't remember.

Ladder, describe it. Where is it? How they make friends. Broken ladder is bad. Endless ladder means they're friendships have many levels... you get the idea.

Flowers... what kind, how many, where. Flowers are ideas. you can also say plants. If someone says the flowers are in the body of water you know what kinda ideas they got going on? oh yeah! sexy time.

Storm. Where is it, how bad is it, blah blah blah. Trouble in ones life from their perception.


So I do 4 people before I'm at Tony who thinks it's horse shit. I do Tony and tell him about himself. I also add in some INTJ crap in the mix. And other vibes I'd gotten off him during the night. My description of him is the most detailed and has the least ambiguous descriptions that apply to everyone. It has things that clearly someone is or isn't this way. He says I was spot on and says he needs to think about how I know all of this. That concluded the group that was going to Taco bell. I go around and get to the hot girl. After a few of her answers [ones that make her out to be an amazing girl] I remark "Wow, you've got an amazing personality. "

Later when the come back from taco bell everyone goes to bed. At some point the hot girl was talking about going to clubs and wanting to feel safe by being with her guy friends but also wanting to hook up with guys at the club. I suggested a staggered approach. The guys show up early and then the girls show up later so they aren't see coming in with the guys. And the guys make sure they can see the girls. That way other guys in the club just think it's a girl by herself, but the girl feels safe cause her friends are there and can see her in case anything happens.

She says that sounds good. Her name is Courtney. And she owns the house. After everyone goes off to bed Her and this other guy downstairs are watching a movie. They said I could crash on the couch. She goes upstiars and comes down in a blanket and invites me under the covers. She's got no top on. We kiss here and there but actually watch the movie.

Then we start making out hard core and I say "Are you still drunk?" and says "Yeah a little." I say "We should slow down then." and she says "That's a good idea." Later she says "I'm sobering up." and starts making out with me again. And we go up to her room.

In her room she takes off her underwear, I get naked and put on a condom and we have sex. She didn't feel comfortable being on top. So I put her on her back and work my magic. And we go to sleep cuddling together.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Calling #12
Before I'd slept with #11 I was at the 24 hour coffee shop one day. I was playing Smash bros with my friend Taaj and there was a girl ordering coffee. I shyly looked at her and kept asking Taaj what I should say to her. I was nervous.

She walked over to me and introduced herself to me. I sat at her table and she said I seemed like and INTJ. I responded by saying she seemed like and ENFP. She laughed and said she randomly said that as if I knew about it, which was silly. We chatted for a while and talked about things like MBTI and so forth.

She said she was a Lesbian and she's Jewish and also she's a stripper and told me her name was Megan.

One day while hanging out with Megan, the gay jewish stripper, she asked me randomly to describe a dessert. It seemed familiar but I couldn't place it, so I described on. Then she said there was a cube and to describe the cube... I remembered what the question meant but didn't remember where I'd heard it from so I said "The cube is infinitely large. Larger than the universe actually, it's everywhere at once and the color is unimaginably beautiful. All the inhabitants of the dessert worship the cube and seek it for guidance cause their lives are horribly miserable without the Cube." She laughed not knowing I was fucking with her right away and asked me to describe a body of water. I said "I'd the purest or pure waters, drinking it cures every ailment a person could have and make people happy. It's unending and in great abundance. An infinitely deep lake with a river that flows like a white water rapid through out the dessert. All the inhabitants of the dessert dream and fantasize about this water their every waking moment."

She gave me a look and said "You've done this thing before haven't you and you know what the questions mean." I played dumb and said "Done what? You're asking me some pretty weird questions." She said she knew I was fucking with her. She laughed and kissed me.

I started falling for Megan and figured she wasn't completely gay.
And then that day happened when I slept with Courtney and Megan was hanging out with me the next day and asked me about my night and I told her. She seemed a little upset and asked me to come out to her house and spend the night. I did and ended up on the couch.

We had played drunk chess all night. In the morning she was off to work. I was going to some show with Courtney and her friends. We'd gotten tickets for free to go to the show. It was near where megan lived so it made sense. She'd left me instruction on how to get to the show and bought me condoms in case things got hot and heavy with Courtney and wrote me a note saying "I know you're pretending to sleep right now, here's condoms in case things get hot and heavy with Courtney tonight. Best of luck. Love Megan <3"

Her instructions sucked ass. But her room mate made me a made with really easy to read instructions. I followed this to the place and showed up early and made friends with people outside. Got everyone to think I was the shit. Then I went in as the show started and Courtney and the group showed up and Tony was amazed that I had made so many friends so fast and asked what my secret was. I broke some of it down for him.

After the show I went home with my friend John and Courtney didn't seem into me anymore. I was a little bummed out.

Megan spent the night at my place and we looked up at the stars and made up out own constellations. I'll forever remember the coliflower cluster.

I slept with her on the couch in my house [literally slept... no sex]. In the morning she left and kissed me before she did. We'd been hanging out for a while here and there. Always something fun with that girl. She drove me all the way out to Oberlin once cause she knew I loved the town. We went to a few parties and drove back to Cleveland.


Then my dad reappears in my life and gives all my siblings $100 for Christmas I was 25 by then.

I wander off to a coffee shop in Lakewood Ohio. I'm kinda annoyed I'm having trouble with girls and things aren't working with Megan. I really liked Megan.

At the shop I played chess with people a lot and this day no one is there that plays. There's 3 random girls I don't know so I ask "Do any of you play chess?" and one says "I do but I'm not any good." I say I don't care I just feel like playing and that it'll be fun.

While we're playing I say things like "My pawns talking shit about your queen. Is she gonna take that shit?" She says if she kills him my other pawn will kill her queen and I say that the other pawn don't give a fuck about the first one. The first one did him dirty on a weed deal. She kills my pawn and the one who got done dirty on a weed deal kills her queen and she says "I thought he didn't give a fuck about him?" and I say "He didn't, but he love his country and fights to protect the kingdom!" She laughs and we keep playing and I'm making jokes like this.

At some point I leave to smoke a cig and don't invite her along. She follows me and smokes with me. Then we walk to the store and she gets another pack. She was 17 and didn't turn 18 till January. I was November. Late Nov. so I buy her pack.

Back at the shop I don't sit near her friends and instead find a new table and she follows me and sits down with me. I'm playing a card game with her that involves slapping cards. And occasionally we touch hands. She asks if I wanna smoke some weed and I go with her.

While we're out there I take off one of my 3 jackets and put it on her and she says thank you. She's got a gay pride bowl and I'm wondering if she's bi or gay or what. After we're done as we're leaving she puts the coat on me and says "That was a very husbandly thing of me to do." I say "So you're wearing the pants in this relationship?" and she laughs and says yeah.

We hang out until the shop closes. Somewhere in there she said she lives near me so after teh shop close I ask if she knows which bus leads that way and she says she things the 75 but I could just wait with her and she'll ask her ride to drop me off since it's on the way. When I asked I only turned my head but not my entire body.

Anyway we sit and I do the cube in and dessert thing.She thinks it's interesting. Her dad comes and gives me a ride home. And I give her my myspace.


She adds me and comes over to my house and we watch a movie and make out for a while. Actually we met at the 24 hour coffee shop down the street from my house. While there at some point she goes to the bathroom and when she comes back her shirt is a little more unbuttoned than it was. So we go back to my house and watch a movie. She has this plaid flannel shirt on and my sister and me say she's a lumberjack jokingly. And she laughs and says she loves choppin' down trees.

My sister leaves and me and her make out on the couch and I take her top off. But she feels awkward. She puts it back on and we're dry humping and making out and then she goes home.

She comes over a few days later and the same shit happens. Just dry humping and making out.

Then a few more days later she comes over and we go in the bedroom and she gets naked and I fuck her. And we're out smoking a Cigarette. Colleen... *sigh*... I royaly fuck all of this up later. I was really in love with this chick. And I was having a good streak with girls too.

Deb: Loved her. Really really loved her.
Courtney: She was fucking hot and I really liked her a lot. lots and lots and lots.
Colleen: Was falling in love with her... but I fell too deep. Things went south. This girl really hates me.... You'll see. Shit gets fucking fucked the fuck up.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Oh god.... #13

WARNING THE FOLLOWING IS A LOOOOOOOONG LIST OF SHIT YOU SHOULD NEVER DO. MISTAKE AFTER MISTAKE AND POOR DECISIONS. DON'T DO ANY OF THIS SHIT EVER!!!

Seriously.... fucking don't do anything I did between 12 and 13. All fucking horrible... wrong on so many levels.


I called Colleen a day after we fucked and she didn't answer. I waited and call the next day. No answer. I called about 20 times the day after that. I was depressed and heart broken and didn't get it.

Somewhere in there I ran into Megan, the gay jewish stripper who kisses me from time to time and does really sweet wonderful things. I had the stupid idea that if I tell her how I got laid and really liked the girl I banged it might turn her on to me. Nope. She looked at me with a disgusted look, which should've been a sign. I should've said sorry. No I played that card, the one that clearly didn't work in the first place and she slowly stopped talking to me.

One day I saw her and she told me she had a boyfriend and they were going to get engaged. I knew she wasn't really gay.

I kept calling Colleen and my whole world revolved around her. Sometimes she answered. She was nice when she did but she told me she felt awkward talking to me and didn't want to anymore. I was crushed and acting really stupid. Someone stole my Mystery Method book [thank god, I hate that thing.].


All my friends said "Don't worry about her, she's just a girl and you'll meet other girls you like."
I would say I wouldn't ever meet girls like her [so true... everyone is different in their own way]. I didn't get it. It didn't matter. I was so very in love and crushed and acting like an asshole all the time. Clingy. I was going insane. I didn't trust anyone either.


I was broken.


In the midst of it all I met a girl. Aleah. She was perfect. Really sweet and nice. Cute face and long curly blonde hair. Deep blue eyes. Short, in shape. Extra innocently naive. When I was around Aleah I stopped and thought I used to be like her. What happened? Aleah, however, was 16 and I was 25. She brought out the best in me. I just hung out with her but it was very platonic. We liked each other but the age was an issue so nothing came of it. This was only the eye of the storm.


At some point Aleah had a job and so did I and we didn't have as much time to hang out. One of the days I had with her we went to the library and started learning origami together. Then she was out of my life and I rarely saw her.


And I went back to being upset and crazy and broken. My thoughts jumbled into a horrible mess. I didn't think of things like "Well I did date Deb and that was awesome." no, I thought about how Colleen and Courtney didn't want to be with me. How Megan was engaged and Aleah was too young and everything sucks. I was upset and depressed all the time.


One day at the bar some older lady was talking to me. She showed me a picture of snoopy she drew. This woman was in her 50's at the least from my guess. She showed me an old picture of her [she used to be pretty hot].

That night I told her she had nice eyes. and I flirted with her and she bought me a beer. I succeeded. I got free drinks from her all night... but I wasn't in the right state of mind. I was being a horrible person and I was horrible unhappy. She was married and I wanted to fuck her just cause she was married and I was being a hateful evil bastard. Broken, stupid, depressed I told her, when the bar had closed, that I'd walk her home. When we got outside she was talking about how she likes wine. I said I had some at my house if she wanted to try some and she said okay but she's not having sex with me.


So we walked to my place. I stopped at some point and kissed her and she said "Why are you doing this?" With a silly smile on her face I thought . o O (Cause I'm angry and I want to hurt people) and said "Cause you're gorgeous." And kissed her again and we kept walking.


It was raining that night. At my place she took off her pants and hung them on the back of a chair to dry and said they were too wet and not to get any ideas. She took off her shirt too and had no bra on underneath. Just wearing underwear at this point. I got her a glass of wine and got myself one and we sat on the couch and drank and I pulled her underwear off and said "Those are wet too." She said thank you.

I took off my pants and put on a condom and slide inside her and started pounding it like ground beef. Then I put her in all sorts of crazy positions I've seen in porn [she was pretty thin and really limber]. She started making noise so I put my hand over her mouth cause my sister was sleeping. I never got off, but she did a lot of times.


Eventually she got up to use the bathroom and I had taken the condom off. She came back to the couch and I started fucking her again in all sorts of positions and she was loving it. Then we were spooning and I'm getting her from behind when I'm about to bust. I bust inside her. I wait a little bit and go back in and bust inside her again. She says "What if I get pregnant?"

I say "Not my problem. You're married." I tell her to get dressed cause her clothes are dry and she does. and I lead her outside of the house and tell her to have a nice day and walk back inside with the door locked so she can't come back in.



See. This is some horrible shit. Don't do any of that shit. Ever. None of this worked out for the better. None of it at all. Just a set up for disaster.


Unfortunately things get worse

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

#14.... new lows are reached....


Some things I'm not proud of. This is one of those things.

I was still obsessed with Colleen. I had stopped calling so much, but I had made two fake myspace accounts. Hot chicks. They'd post on my page and flirt with me for all the world to see. I made it difficult to find their friends with confusing html coding and confusing page layouts. I'd randomly add people as friends and had about 20 other fake myspaces I'd set up in the beginning to make them look like real people [which is a lot of work].

One of the girls cussed out Colleen when she posted on one of my blogs. Both of them would fight with each other and say how awesome I was. Occasionally they'd leave comments about parties I'd gone to or hanging out with me.

Colleen isn't stupid. She saw through this and hated me for it. Said I was creepy. My morally bankrupt plan backfired horribly. I was fooling some people but not Colleen.


Angered at life and the world I found Lisa on myspace. #10, girl from Detroit who had 3 open relationships, cheated on me, then fucked all my friends and threw it in my face. If had been just a little over a year since I'd fucked Lisa.

I sent her a message on April 1st titled "Just being responsible."
the message said "I recently tested HIV positive. I mean I really hate you and think you're a bitch for what you did but I feel it's my responsibility to let you know I have HIV and you're the last girl I've had sex with."

She responded asking if I'd worn a condom when we had sex and I said "No. I think one did I did, but the other times I didn't wear a condom at all. Anyway, I don't fucking like you I'm just doing the right thing. So stop talking to me."

She responded something about how mad she was and blah blah blah but agreed not to talk to me and actually thanked me for telling her about the HIV.

And I imagined it in my head. Lisa is a sympathy whore. She'll cry to everyone about having HIV and me giving it to her and make a big fuss about how unfair life has been to her and have shoulders to cry on. She wants people to feel sorry for her. She'll tell everyone she's got HIV. I gave it a week before all her friends knew.

10 days later I sent her a message titles "April fools!!!!"
In the message it said "Wow, you're a total dumbass slut Lisa. Notice the date of the HIV message. April 1st. HAHAHAHAHA, I don't have HIV. But knowing you I'm pretty sure you've told everyone you know that you have it and got it from me to gain sympathy. You probably didn't even get tested. Fucking retard. Now everyone thinks you have HIV.

Love Nick

P.S. I hate you"


To say Lisa was upset about that is an understatement. She flipped out and told me she'd told all her friends and now they think she's got HIV. I was so deranged and hateful at the time that her message brought loads of joy to my heart. I was so happy to see her suffer.



These days I openly told people I didn't trust them. And this got me in trouble at work and people at the coffee shop felt offended. I got a bad rep for being an asshole. One day some chubby girl was sitting at a table with me and I thought . o O (Who's this slut?) and politely introduced myself to her. Jeane was her name. I started playing footsies with her and then when I left to go home she followed me and asked where I was off too. I said I was going home and she's welcome to come along for the walk. She walked with me and I started making out with her.

Then she said "Let's go to the graveyard." I thought . o O (Seriously, what a fucking slut) and went to the graveyard and fucked her. Then I went home. She came with me and my sister was awake and convinced me to leave.

Me and Jeane went to the woods and I fucked her in the ass inside this tree fort thing. After I came out of the thingy I saw three really cute girls and I started flirting with them. Jeane got dressed and saw me flirting with them and got mad and stormed off and I thought . o O (What a fat whore) as I talked to the girls in the woods.


I was a horrible person back them...
Things get worse before they get better. Much worse.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

#15... it's not too bad...

Everytime I run into Jeane I act like I want to talk to her and pretend I'm going to spill my heart out. I lead her somewhere private we can talk and end up doing something manipulative and fuck her in the ass. Then I get dressed and wander off before she get's dressed. She tells her friends that me and her had sex and I deny it and say she's lying. I say this when she's around.

When she asks me about it I say "I don't like it when you talk about my private life like that. I'm mad at you." and stop talking to her for a few weeks.


I'd lost my job and my sister was getting pissed at me. The plan was I was moving in with her, getting a job, then getting my own place. I acted like an asshole. I had every opportunity to do that. I hated people and didn't trust anyone. I felt my sister owed me for things she's done in the past. Generally i was being a jackass.

My sister kicked me out. I moved in my moms house and some girl who was living on the streets was staying there. Mellissa. She was cute, but had a crazy horrible mother. She had joined the army and she was irresponsible. Right now she was on leave and had no where to stay and my mom often lets people stay at her place. Though she kicks her own children out a lot.

First day I see this girl I start making fun of her and my little brother joins in. Nothing mean, just light hearted jokes. She says it's the first time she's heard my little brother speak. I chuckle and say he's a riot.


One day me and her leave the house cause my mom's going crazy and we want some peace. She's telling me she's bad ass cause she's been through army combat training and I joke and say "So, you know aggressive hugging?" She says she's been through 3 months of combat training and now she's badass and I laugh and say "That's real cute."

She tells me to mount her and I do and she locks her legs with mine and flips over so my backs on the ground and I said "Basic Judo." unimpressed. Then I flip her over and move around and get her in an arm bar and sigh. She wants me to stand up to show me a through. It's a hip toss. I say "Hip toss... yeah 7th grade wrestlers know this move..." unimpressed. I do a shoulder throw and have her on the ground as I come down with a chop and stop before I make contact. She asks "What martial arts have you done?"

"Well, I started teaching myself when I was 12. 14 my dad beat me up so I hung out with my best friend Charles who's done Shotokan Karate since he was 4 and was a black belt at the time, he taught me a lot. We'd go to the gym where a boxer taught us boxing, a third degree Tai Kwon Do black belt, Fencers, Wrestlers, Judo, etc.. taught us things here and there. For 6 years we did this almost every day. Both of us were on the Wrestling team in high school. At one point I took a 3 month Aikido expo. Every day for 3 months I trained in Aikido. 3 months only scraps the surface and isn't sufficient time to make someone a 'badass'. I've also dabbled in a little kendo."

Then she says "Oh... yeah. This was a pretty humbling experience. When you put it that way 3 months seems like a very short time."
I say "We also trained with ex-military at the gym. The army guys would laugh and say they learned aggressive hugging."
She chuckled and asked if I wanted to stay in a hotel so I didn't have to go to my moms. I said "That would be lovely."


She got some money she was waiting on and we got a hotel. We bought some beer and drank a few. We got invited to a party in the next room and hung out for a bit. Then back in our room I kissed her and she said "You're going to the store for the condoms." I said "fine by me." She gave me money and I went to the store and bought condoms and came back and we had sex.

First time I was with a black girl... well she was mixed and so am I. I could joke and say there was one black person in the room and one white person and they're transgender...

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

#16 seriously... this is fucking fucked up. I almost have an excuse.... but it's a very thin one.


In the hotel with Melissa she starts making out with me after we had sex. So I put on another condom and fuck her again and she says "hey, we already did this. I'm not complaining." I say "Well you started it. You got me all horny." She chuckles and we keep going and then go to sleep.

As we road the bus back to my mom's house and was getting all cuddly with me. I just wasn't into her.

She would follow me around everywhere. And was all lovey dovey with me and I just wasn't into her. She wasn't very smart. She wasn't funny either. So I decided to catch a bus out to Cleveland and hang out with my friends. When she wasn't looking I dashed out the house and made a break for it.

I get on the bus and she's nowhere to be seen. I sigh a sigh of relief and then I see her boarding the bus. "There you are!" She smiles and walks over and sits next to me. . o O (fuck....)

In cleveland she follows me everywhere and I eventually go home.


At home my mom is bitching and me and Melissa are making out on the couch whenever my mom's in the other room. But we didn't want her to know anything about us so it's only when no one's around. She pulls out a condom and shows it to me. I leave the house and she follows me. We go to some back alley and fuck.


Another day I try to escape and go to Cleveland. I make it there alone. But an hour later there she is. Following me. We stay over at my sisters that night. No sex. And I walk to Lakewood in the morning hoping I wont be followed.

But Melissa is following me. I run into Colleen. There's this weird girl, Christine. She's Colleen's twin sister. They're fraternal. Christine is taller. She's chatting with me and we're talking about MBTI. Christine asks for my facebook. I say I'm on Colleen's and try to avoid adding her as a friend. Colleen and I are pretty cool now and I'm over the whole thing... I mean I still loved her but I'm not acting retarded about it.

Colleen asks who Melissa is and I say she's some girl that follows me everywhere and wont leave me alone. Colleen says "Aw... she likes you. You should sleep with her." I say "I think that's why she follows me around... " Colleen laughs and tells me to keep it in my pants. Colleen is making street tattoo's with a home made tattoo gun. So sketchy.

Melissa get's on and pays Colleen $5 for it. So fucking Sketchy....


On the way home I get condoms from Walgreens. At my sisters house I try to fuck Melissa and she says "You always avoid me unless you want sex I noticed." I don't know what to say... I just don't press the issue anymore.


A week or so later Christine sent me a friend request on facebook. I'm thinking . o O (Focuse... I'm just going to talk to her. That's it). We talk about all sorts of things in great detail and after a week she asks me to come over and watch some movie with her. Colleen is living on the streets [by choice] apparently but Chris is still at home.

Meanwhile, Melissa has [within a week] fucked 5 guys from the 24 hour coffee shop... I mean seriously... Everyone calls her "That one slut that used to stalk Chocolate Thunder." note: my nick name there was chocolate thunder.


I pretend I'm too busy to hand out with Chris. But eventually I go out there and we're smoking weed in the attic. We start watching this movie she wanted to watch. She asks me out and I don't wanna say no or yes. I change the subject instead. And she asks again and I eventually say yes. I really didn't want to but didn't wanna tell her no. She asks if I wanna have sex and I say "I don't think it's even a good idea to go out with you." She says "Are you still in love with Colleen?" I say "I don't think you'll like the answer." I had a deck of cards and I show her a magic trick to change the subject.

She says "Hey, I'll pull a card. If it's red we have sex. If it's black we don't." I shuffle the deck and stack it so there's 4 black cards on top. She slides away the top four cards and pulls the next one and says "I used to do card tricks too. " She flips over a red card... . o O ( Fuck.... sometimes I hate that I always keep my word.)

We have crazy amazing sex in the attic, where colleen used to sleep. On the bed colleen used to sleep on. This goes on for about an hour before we cuddle and smoke a cigarette and I eventually go home.


What the hell have I done.... This was fucked up. But at least things don't really get worse from her.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12