Hi guys!

Okay basically me and my girlfriend had been together for 7 months in October and at the end of October we were going through a really bad patch and she decided we should go our separate ways. Although this was a shock to me I agreed with what she was saying and also thought it was for the best.

Anyway we don't see or speak to each other for 2 months, she contacts me a couple of times but Im really vague and don't give her much back. Then on the 22nd December she texts me and tells me that she wants to meet for a drink, I tell her no it's not a good idea and then she says that she really wants to get back together with me and misses me like crazy - I ignore the message. 5 days later she starts texting me again saying all the same things, I respond to them but at this point I am not sure what I want. A day later I am doing some christmas shopping and was in the most random shop in the world, one that I have never even been in to and I bump into her, she was with her cousin. My heart sank and I could hardly speak. Afterward she told me that she wanted to grab me and never let me go - that's how I felt.

Anyway we met up a few days later and decided to give it another try, she told me she was still madly in love with me and had missed me like crazy. We got back together on Saturday 29th December and have spent all this week together pretty much night and day, apart from last night. On New Years Eve we were together and actually started to talk about the future and having a kid etc. Things have been going great with us, way better than anytime before. My problem however is this: She was seeing a guy for about 3 weeks when we were broken up but ended it when she realised she wanted me - it was never serious with him anyway. No matter what I do I can't seem to get the two of them out of my head and each time I think of her with someone else it makes me feel sick. I also find it so hard when we aren't together because I miss her like crazy and start to worry that she doesn't want to be with me which is absurd. I also worry that she cheats, which again I know is crazy.

I am an extremely confident guy and have been with a lot of women in the past and have never ever ever worried about things like this but no matter what I can do I just can't seem to help worry. Im honestly fine when Im with her but then when Im not I worry about when to text and everything.... It's getting crazy now.

If any of you can offer some friendly advice it would be massively appreciated. I love this girl like crazy but for some reason am quite scared - nobody has had this effect on me before.

Thanks in advance guys!

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Berg!

Put the brakes on bro! Try not to get sucked back in too hard.

She was with another guy three weeks? Then that went sour so she calls up her fallback plan... I don't want to worry you too much, but I think any intense emotional investment on your behalf is a BAD IDEA right now, take things easy and slow and don't even start to consider a future and especially kids with this girl for a LONG time.

Thanks for the response but believe me she hasn't got back with me because things went sour with that guy - she made them go sour with him because she regretted breaking up with me in the first place. I've known her for a long time and I do know that if she wasn't serious about us getting back together then she would never have tried. She told me when we first got together last time that she never ever goes back to an ex.

I do understand what you're saying though about taking things slowly and normally I would but with this girl I just can't. I constantly find myself thinking about her and I just can't help it. Something has changed in her since the last time and I can tell that she wants us to be together just as much as I do - she is far more affectionate than she ever was previously.

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Berg!

She has got you by the bollocks.

Seriously, I think you need to try not to fall too hard. As soon as you fall for her and become needy or AFC she will be gone leaving you more heartbroken than ever.

Go to the "Relationships" forum and read the threads about "Emotionally Manipulative Women" and if she ticks a lot of the boxes, then heed my advice.

She's just entering the honeymoon phase again, man. This is your opportunity to be even more alpha while her interest is high. Like the others are saying, start investing too much and you'll regret it. Here's what I would do:

1. Don't officially get back together. See her 1-3 times a week at most.
2. Go out on dates with, or at least meet other women. You don't have to close, but remind yourself that your ex isn't the only option you have.
3. Keep it casual. Pretend you just met her. Conversation should mainly be light, playful and fun.

If you can't keep your emotions in check (you're deeply infatuated at this point) then you may be best saving yourself potential ruin and backing out now. She dumped you, this made you want her even more, now you've got a chance again and you're going "lovesick puppy" on her. I have been in your shoes and it does not end well, keep your eggs spread about good sir.

And yeah you can check out the threads on EMW's, but either way your interest level is much too high. I hope you don't display that around her or it will only be a matter of weeks before she walks again.

I've been in those shoes also.

And I agree with you.

As soon as you go emotional in front of her. You're DONE, she looses interest and walks away.
Get yourself together and fake it until u make it man. Don't show her that you give a rats ass about her

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Heat

I will concur with the others.

One of the big problems that I see is that she dumped you for another guy temporarily because she lost interest to another guy for a while. I agree with the others that say to date others, even if you do want her back. First of all she needs to see that her actions have consequences. You want her to know deeply that if she doesn't treat you right that she can lose you.

If it were me, I would express hesitation to take her back. I would let her know that her actions have hurt how I feel about her and if she wants me back that she is going to have to work for it. I would also tell her that I would date her and try a new start, but that I have moved on and am not yet willing to make it elusive. If you play it right, she will have to stay exclusive to you even if you date other women or risk you loading interest over fear of a repeat.

Not only this, but the competition and being unsure of the relationship will drive her to fight for you a lot harder.

I have used techniques like this with my wife in the past to get her to actually offer three somes unsolicited (because she knows I like them).

The person willing to leave a relationship has the most power. Make her 'pay' and work for the relationship if she wants it.

Man oh man, I feel so much what happens to you :/... This happened to me 8 months ago and TRUST ME, if you think you can't live with the feeling that she met an other guy... You won't be able to live with it at all! It,s been 8 months since my girlfriend met "her ex" and kissed him but stopped... But even if she stopped because she loved me, I still think about it and it's a torture... I'll probably think about it for the rest of my life