Okay, instead of drawing this out (ive seen some huge walls of text with pointless info) let me break it down to this:

1) Dating this girl for almost 2 years and live with her
2) I have a little jealousy issue (expected at 2 years) but she has them too (worse)
3) She texted guy co-worker and lied about who shes txting and then I leaned in to kiss her and saw his text pop up and she turned red as fire and said "just friend" etc. i read it and it said shed miss him etc.. since he was leaving town for a while.. (still not really really shady cause of the first part of point 4)
4) Did some crazy spy work (and nothing seems too shady.. except she lied to me a second time about talking to them when asked nicely.. then admitted after I said she has a "tell" when she's lying)
5) Her excuse was she thought i'd get mad and flip. (aka jealous)
6) Stuff was great for a bit.
7) Girl hangs out with her chick friend from the same work and her boyfriend (i was here) the other night quietly talking.
More spy work shows they were talking about something that the girl wanted to talk about in person but my gf basically didn't want to talk about over text.

Now, thats the timeline of the issue. I'm a bit insecure etc, I don't need all that talk.. I know those issues and I sure hide it a lot.. been working on it a good bit actually... but what I don't understand is why I have a gut feeling something is up?

I trusted this girl, and she was lying about txts. i told her i didnt mind if she txted friends just dont hide or lie to me.. she said okay.. went back and did it again.. and i caught it the second time.. but for some reason since I met her friend and her boyfriend the other night and now they cant talk of certain things over text I feel really really weird. Much more than when I had the first gut feeling.

Now this could all be innocent etc.. maybe the convo is about her being pissed with her b/f and he goes through her phone etc.. idk.. but...

Is this gut feeling warranted or am I just paranoid? The girl's only 18 btw. (YES I KNOW!) lol. I've always had a vibe about things and I'm generally right 95% of the time in some form.

If you're already checking her texts and stuff its pretty clear you no longer trust her and should probably set her free. Its always tough dating girls who are eighteen, since its probably not a good time in their life to be tied down.

Well, she knows it made me lose trust. I told her she had to earn it back and she's been generally okay since telling me stuff etc. I'm probably just paranoid.

Just updating:

Now I know the whole trust deal has been lost etc.. just thought I'd inform that I'm basically a computer security nerd.. so I know and can see things... and she's deleting even innocent convos with said co-worker guy it SEEMS.. now.. she COULD feel guilty..but it really mainly looks like she just doesn't want me to get upset at her.

With that said, working on my inner issues with insecurity will be priority.

If you're constantly checking up on her online activity etc then for goodness sake just break up with her. This is not behaviour that is conducive to, or should take place in a healthy relationship.

Maybe they are innocent conversations but she feels obliged to delete them because she knows how hung up on them you can get.

We all get jealous, but you need to learn to control it./