To begin with, I put my yellow new years eve hat on her head that night while we were on the dance floor. For the rest of the night I would jokingly try to take it back but she would put the hat in her hands and run around giggling preventing me from taking it. Here's the text:
Me: Hey, can I have my yellow hat back? You never gave it back!
Her: Oh I haven't seen that hat since last year...
Me: Psh, girl, you're such a smart butt that you could probably sit on any carton of ice cream and tell what flavor it is
Her: Since when did my ass have taste buds??? hahaha
Me: As of 12AM Tuesday 2013. You didn't feel a difference?...or taste
Her: No sirrr
Me: ....thief
Her: I'm not a thief!
Me: Well...if I don't, who knows how many other ppl you'll steal from :$
Her: But I don't know where it is
Me: Your ass is going to jail then
Her: Too bad I just escaped the country!
Me: No, you don't understand. I know people in the government
Her: Unless its Obama your argument won't workkk pfff
Me: You kiddin? Obamas ma hommie
Me: You're toast
Her: Nahttt
Me: Do explain Mrs. "Badass"
Her: I didn't do anything, I simply lost your hat
-At this point I didn't know what else to say so I just threw out a neg-
Me: Better than you keeping it. Yellows definitely not your color
-She hasn't responded since and that was almost 4 hrs ago-
What do you guys think I did wrong, and how do you think I could improve?