hi

basically, long story short, ive liked this girl at work for about 2 months now. i've just not had the balls to make a move and ask if she'd like to be more than friends. she suggested that me and her spend a day out in london (about 3 times) but when i suggested a time when we were both free to do it, she put it off 3 times). on sunday, she was kneeling down and gave me her hand to help her up (even though she didn't need it) and we held hands for about 10 seconds, i squeezed it and she squeezed back. i bottled it up and didn't tell her how i felt and then told her 'btw why am i the last one to find out about X?' (the guy she is seeing) in a jokey way (since me and her are very close) and then she said 'oh no it's just a date it doesn't mean anything honestly!' (very sincerely). after that incident, on the wednesday, she said to my friend 'why didn't you tell me that liked me' (my 'trustworthy' colleagues told her that i liked her) to which he said 'well, yeh he does. do you like him?' to which she said 'we're just friends'.

since then, over the past couple of days, she has been completely unreceptive to my advances and goes out of her way to flirt with another colleague who is already taken (and is in a very serious relationship) i get the feeling that i have completely fucked it but if not, is there any way at all to save it?

thanks

Hard to tell if it's ruined or not because of a mix of IOIs and IODs. But just stop making advances on her and pretend it's over with. In other words, keep your distance and wait for her to come back to you.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Start over with a new girl, she is not the only one on the planet

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

a little update:

a few days ago she was angling to go out again, even though she knows i like her (by hinting that she was free on saturday morning) i told her we should do something next week and she agreed (she seemed very relieved that i asked her to do something). i phoned her up out of the blue about 2 days ago and asked her if she wanted to join me on new years eve. she said she couldn't because she was spending time with family, but reassured that we will do something next week. i'm wondering if i should call her tomorrow and suggest going out for a drink after work or lunch on our day off that week or wait until i see her on monday and ask her then in person?

Call her the day after new years day. Make sure to tell her how awesome new years day was then TELL don't ask.

i'm working with her on the day after new years day, so in that case i might as well tell her in person? (the day off that we both have is thursday 3rd, and nothing will be open on new years day)

Problem solved, do it then. Stop needing to know/having to know that a girl will see you a week or whatever in advance because that is what leads to flaking. Just tell her the day before that she's having a day with you instead of a boring shitty one.

update 2:

told her to come to lunch with me on thursday, which she was happy to do. i plan to tell her after lunch that i like her and would like to explore the possibility of being more than just friends and if not that i'll always be there for her. thoughts?