Wanted to put in physically but it was too long.

Soon I will be moving out on my own to a college town and I have never been in a fight before. Usually I mind my own business and don't bother anyone. I went to a ghetto high school and a ghetto middle school but usually I just minded my own business.

Now I have not really been in situations where I had to fight anyone but how important is it for me, a 20 year old guy moving out on his own for the first time, to be able to fight (physically)?

_________________
I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

Speaking as a student who competes in things like MMA, No-gi grappling and Knockdown style karate.... not important at all.

Assuming you live in a first world country then violence is the domain of the military, police and bouncers. Honestly, I've met fighters who get laid and fighters who don't get laid.

I know its a common thing to get obsessed with, especially if you're a young male trying to find your feet in this world but there really are plenty of other more important things to focus on than whether or not you could take someone in a fist fight.

Heh, this is my first post since I signed up here, and it's about something that I know about.

Knowing how to fight could be important, of course, depending on where you live. I live in quite a good neighborhood and I've gotten in loads of fights just by staring at someone funny.(which I do often seeing as i don't always have my glasses on) I also find that it gives some people(like me), confidence when out somewhere, because I know that if anything was to happen, I could defend myself or someone who is with me.

On the other hand, some girls could care less if you knew how to fight or not. Some even find it unattractive when a guy is over aggressive. But some seem to like guys who are confident about their fighting abilities. I guess it depends on the girls...

Keep in mind, what I say may or may not be true. It's from personal experience.

I would say from experience that being able to physically defend yourself is not a big issue in a developed country. Play your cards right and you should never be in that situation in the first place.

You want to avoid fighting anyway. If you lose, you got your ass kicked and your night ruined. If you win, there's a decent chance the guy whines to the police and you've got a 3rd degree assault charge.

_________________
RSDTyler

Yeah, I forgot to say that. Don't look for fights. Ever, man. If it comes to you, defend yourself or avoid it, but never look for one. People who always look for fights are assholes.

Important. The ability to fight gives you self-confidence to stand your ground in any argument or disagreement. If you can't fight and a situation gets tense the fear of getting beat up is something that will push you away.

In dealing with any AMOG situation there is a potential for a fight. When you are with a girl there is always the potential that a fight will come to you.

Its kinda like a lie detector test. You behave confidently but when there is a potential for a fight will you behave confidently.

You need to be confident that you can win the fight or you need to be willing to take a beating if you have to because its better to fight and lose sometimes than to not fight.

Its even more important to be willing to take the beating because thats about respect. Even if you can't win, a bully will consider the headache of challenging you to a fight again.

If you are 16 or so, and at school Fighting to show a bully you wont back down is fine because you're going to be forced to see that guy again and you can be sure that the violence wont go beyond punches.

It's something different when the other guy is some random-er who might decide to shove a pint glass into your face. For 99% of people getting beat up for "respect" is pants-on-head stupid.
---------


There is a distinction between knowing how to fight, and how to deal with self defence. Just because you are confident fighting, doesn't mean you are confident in a confrontation where you might get blind-sided at any moment.

Agreed.

If you are confident fighting you are going to more confident in a random street fight than if you were not confident fighting. You would be able to handle the situation better.

If you are confident fight then if you get into an argument you don't have to be afraid of if what the other person will do if you offend them too much.

A random person may do something so insulting that you may have to fight them. Even more so if you are with your girl or your friends and they see you take shit they may begin to give you shit.

Also, notice when you asks questions like this people always tend to say don't fight, avoid fighting at all costs. I think thats because they are scared of fighting. If you could get in a fight and not go to jail and not suffer permanent injury, would you?

The average person will do just about anything to avoid a fight. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_upeZAeiozU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss9HhiRe ... =endscreen

When I was younger, I did. I used to deliberately provoke fights. I won most of my fights, and never actually got my ass totally beat down on a 1-1 fight.
The trouble with fighting is that it snowballs. Not in frequency, but rather severity.
I *did* get my ass totally beat down about 3 times in 10-11th grade when multiple guys jumped me. Frankly, they could have killed me if they'd wanted to. And sometimes, people do just that.

I decided it was *probably* about time to quit when a guy pulled a gun on me when I was 17. It was getting seriously out of hand and I really think I'd have gotten myself killed by now if I'd kept it up.

There are a lot of good reasons to be afraid of fighting. Criminal prosecutions, major injuries and even death. And at the end of the day, you need to ask yourself what you're trying to prove. If I beat up one more guy, does it finally prove I'm a man? How about two more? It's immature, boyish behavior. I was an idiot back then, I've since matured. Ballsy and reckless are different things and fighting is just not something adult men should be engaged in.

_________________
RSDTyler

Maybe, maybe not. I've seen high quality fighters stall, because they weren't used to the particular kind of set-up in a bar-brawl. A lot of fighters like myself are quite comfortable getting hit and vice versa, but we get enough of that in the gym, why the hell would we be interested in beefing with some loudmouth at a bar?

If someone is being rude and inconsiderate to you and your friends laugh at you for it (rather than just go "Wow, what an asshole.").... then you need to get better friends.
Yes it's called MMA. However I take umbridge with the fact that you are assuming that you know you won't go to jail or suffer permanent injury. I lost a friend to knife crime because he made precisely this mistake. You don't know what the other guy is carrying, how far he might take it, whether he has friends nearby, whether he knows where you live etc etc etc.

for me PUA must learn self defence . there's gonna be lots of drunk aggresive AFC puppy friend of HB. who will hate guy gaming her ONITIS.

_________________
Excuse my awful English !!!

The truth is that, at some point in your life, you WILL need to know how to fight.
Whether it's for practical or for mental purposes, it's good to know a lot of skills. Defending yourself is one of them.
Fighting is a big part of my life (5 years of sambo, 4 years of karate, 2 years of judo) and I will always say to avoid any fight you can. People are stupid however, and there will be times when avoiding it is out of your control.

Realistically, there is a very very miniscule chance you will get in a fight anytime soon.
BUT. You should definitely have the confidence of knowing you can AT LEAST not hesitate and throw a punch or two.

_________________
A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.

18 Body Language Mistakes I Bet You're Making

Everyone of Slipps' posts on this thread sounds like it's coming from someone who actually can look after himself, but someone who actually knows that fighting in public doesn't prove much at all. I've got no problem with 'proper' fighting such as MMA or whatever - if nothing else it gets you into superb physical shape.

But feeling the need to punch people every time they offend you is ridiculous. What do you think girls are going to be more attracted by; someone who gets insulted, loses his temper, beats someone up (ie; an immature 15 year old who has gotten older but hasn't figured out any more of a sophisticated way to deal with his problems than resorting to fighting), or someone who just laughs at the person making the insult and handles the situation calmly and cooly? I know which suggests more confidence to me.

Someone insults you and your friends laugh at you? Like Slipps says - firstly get new friends. Secondly, all a situation like that takes is to turn round to the girl and say something witty like "wow, looks like the local zoo is late on feeding today, this gorilla is getting a bit rowdy. Perhaps we should move somewhere a bit more classy", then take her to a quieter area of the club/a different club and sorted.

The self defence issue is to a large degree a moot point. Yes, being able to fight might help you if you get jumped. However, in most circumstances you'll be abel to avoid a fight through non-violent means. In the few circumstances where you can't avoid a fight any other way, do you think the person wanting to hit you is going to come up to you and fight in a 'proper' fighting style? Or do you think he's going to try something sneaky like waiting til you go out the club then coming after you from behind and smashing your head in? Or bottling you as you go to the loo? Or something like that? However good you can fight, it doesn't matter then, you've got no chance.

So overall, I don't think it's important whatsoever. If you want to learn to fight 'properly', do it because you get a buzz from it, because of the health benefits, because of the improvements to your body and maybe because it might just help you out in a bar brawl. However, in reality, there are so many ifs and buts that being able to fight isn't going to be winning or losing you many women.