I have been seeing a girl for the last 2 months, once per week. We live about 1.5 hours away from each other.

Anyway, I'm having a hard time remaining attracted to her. I don't know why at all, but that's not the point. She's so fucking nice, I don't want to hurt her and she is WAY more invested in this "relationship" (even though it's not really one) than I am. She has literally mapped out the next 3 weeks and when/how we'll spend our time together.

I want to break it off in the most pain-free way possible for her. She hates talking on the phone so we pretty much communicate solely through texting. The last thing I've ever wanted to do is break it off with someone via texting, but honestly, I can't see any other way. Any idea on what I could say or how I should word it to make it as painless as possible? I feel like a fucking dick, haha.

Just tell her...that she is a great girl, but you just don't see yourself going out with her. That is not her fault, that she will find a nice guy that will love her as much as you deserves it. And wish her good luck!

_________________
http://conquistadoracademy.webs.com/

Just some advice my friend...

Be careful as sometimes we can really like a girl but when the chase goes so does our attraction. Sometimes we wish for the perfect girl but when it arrives there's no challenge!

Sometimes we can get rid of these girls and deeply regret it afterwards!

When I was dating my wife in the beginning I also had what your currently experiencing and I decided to stick with it and give us a chance! It was the best decision of my life as when the attraction came back it was 100% stronger!

Don't be too hasty


Unless you really dislike the girl obviously.

Tell her the distance is too much of a barrier for you and you think it's best to cut it off now before it gets too serious. Then if she tries too hard coming up with ways to rectify that issue, then level with her and tell her that you and your ex started talking again and you feel bad about being with her when you are considering getting back with your ex. So the right thing to do is just break up for now and see what happens.

I know it's not the honest thing to do, but it will avoid hurting her feelings. The truth always hurts in a breakup because it's so personal. When you make it seem like distance or some other person is the issue, they won't take it as personal.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

why do you want to cut things off completely instead of just investing less but still fucking her once a week?

thats usually my play in these situations until she gets tired of it and stops seeing me. then it doesnt feel like i dumped her (although i really did) and i dont feel like as much of a dick. plus shell feel better about it too.

lol same here man, had this happen twice a few years ago.

You dont want to keep fucking her because she is a nice person and you shouldnt play with people's emotions.

Since you live 1.5 hours apart you could lie: "I need to focus more on my job and i cant have a girlfriend in my life SPAM" or be honest "Im a player I chase women, you're the nicest person i know but it's not gonna work, this is who i am. "

The first time i opted for the second one ( being in college) and the second time the first. Three years later and they would both immediately give up their relationships to get with an asshole like me. So dont expect them to get over it easily.

But honestly three years later im still chasing lame women (see previous post) and i probably would have gotten a lot further in life if i would have sticked with one of those "my mission is to please you emperor" - kind of women. Maybe its like " A bronx tale" when you have to test if your girl opens your cardoor as you put the coats in the back: you only get three of those women. I only have one left

anyways

regret nothing

Had this happen to me recently (and I found out about this social world during/right after, aka last week) Posting it here, hope it helps... obviously this is partially related to personal experience, but it shows the general way to do it...the best way IMO.

Her: you ok??

Me: I don't know.

H: what's wrong??

M: I've been thinking about..well a lot of things..but mostly these last couple days what has been going on between us..
M: And I'm not sure what to say or do.

H: like what kind of things??

M: Like that I think you want something more serious than I... I'm looking for something casual, and maybe short-term...idk

M: To be honest, I'm still not sure what I want at this moment. And I do want to be honest with you about it, cause I respect you.
M: I know I dive into things too quickly myself, and I'm afraid that I will do that, and then later will come to realize that I won't be ready for it...I don't know exactly what I'm saying fully...what are your thoughts?

H: Well, first, thank you for being honest with me.

H: I guess I just got too excited... cause I like you a lot... I want something serious someday... that's what I'm used to, I guess... I've never had a casual relationship...

M: I did want to be honest with you, and I only came to find out Weds night what I was thinking, but I M: didn't know exactly what it was, and needed to think on it.

M: To be fair, it's not your fault, you remind me a lot of my ex...which isn't a bad thing at all. Beautiful, funny, dreams, goals...but certain characteristics (not bad ones) clash with how I view a relationship, I learned it the hard way last time, and a way that was painful for both of us, and I don't want to put you through that pain, especially what you've been through this past year.
I've not had a casual relationship either...and not sure if I could have one...one reason why I haven't been doing much dating this last year or two.

M: And what I have done was mostly at a chance for more physical intimacy than emotional, but I haven't been successful in that area either, and that's not a big deal.

H: I haven't dated in at least 3 years... well, really never even before that either I guess...

M: Nods, neither have I...hanging out with someone once is about the extent, you're the first person I've met a second time.

H: I guess that's something we have in common.. we suck at dating... haha
but I was hoping to see you a third time...

M: I wouldn't say I'm bad at it, lol. The ones I have gone on before meeting me ex went well. I was good at first dates, just not good at second dates..

H: well, I thought our second date went well...

M: As for a third time, I know I don't want to lead you on, cause it's more than likely I'll get scared and close away from it all.

M: And typically, that means not giving this talk at all, and just sorta ignoring the girl...

H: well, I appreciate you not ignoring me...

M: Well the advice I got; they told me I had better. lol. And you do deserve it.

H: well, thank you...
H: could we try a casual relationship?? whatever that is...?
H: or we could just be friends & hang out...

wow, well done!