All this reading up on PUA material just fucked my personality up. Maybe I didn't understand and utilize the stuff I read correctly, but this stuff really fucked with my head. My best traits were being honest and genuine, but now I come off as cocky and fake and just not..."congruent."

I believe the main messages behind PUA is important which are being more confident, actually taking action and going for what you want, and increasing your numbers with women by simply trying and putting yourself out there. It's all the details like negs, active disinterest, be a dick, alpha, etc that can easily be misunderstood...

I tease too much, I'm too cocky, and most of all I never show interest because I thought you never chase and instead make the girl chase you. And showing interest is needy. I let the one girl I'm crazy over slip away because of my fake personality I put on thinking that it would help me get her. If I was just my true self and let her know I was into her, I truly believe she would be my girlfriend right now.

My point is, If you are new to PUA, there is really no reason to read thousands and thousands of pages on PUA...it will just fuck with your head. All this fake it till you make it and be more alpha make you act fake and act like someone you are not.

I would really like the more experienced to help me out of this confusion and help me become the best me. I feel like I am so tainted by reading all this PUA stuff, I forgot who I really am and who I should be. So after being confused and coming to this realization that I have been acting like someone who I am not, these are the main points I am taking away from ALL of pua shit i've read, ALL of the shit i've tried, etc. and I want the more experienced members to tell me if I have the right understanding.

-don't try to be someone you are not. It's perfectly fine if you are a genuinely a nice guy.
-put yourself out there and go for what you want without apologies, but you don't have to be a dick or act like an asshole to do this.
-Tease less after attraction...constantly teasing and being cocky makes you look arrogant and an ass. It's very easy to overdo the teasing and cockiness
-be unreactive and aloof
***SHOW INTEREST*** this is the most I have fucked up on. Mystery Method and shit like that made me never show interest in a girl. I would always just ramp up attraction and make the girl chase and chase until she loses interest. Make your intentions clear to a girl that you are into her.

on a side note...can you guys give me pointers on how to make intentions clear without coming off as needy or desperate?

does all this makes sense...am I on the right track? Please feel free to add more tips and give your opinions. I feel so lost in who I am right now and it's a pretty scary feeling...

http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=49176

read this thread

Say you are learning golf. You have a coach. You aren't bad, but your swing is inconsistent. He tells you a few pointers, and maybe even gets you to change your grip entirely. You then start practicing with the new grip and you can barely even make contact with the ball now--it just seems awkward to you. You are inclined to tell him "I was doing better holding it the old way." But eventually, if you embrace the new grip and PRACTICE, your swing actually improves in the long run and you become a better golfer.

I've tried pua stuff and it worked great. I tried other stuff and got no results, or sometimes even backfired. I have to also be honest with myself and admit that some of the pua stuff I attempted was not done correctly. I like to test things out and sometimes I'll do things that I know are AFC as long as that feels like the right thing to do. I'll call a girl and tell her I'm thinking about her and come across as needy, because sometimes they like that shit.

Try to be natural and be your best self. Eventually the pick up stuff will "click" and it will all make sense. You just need to know the theory behind it and do it your own way. If you become too dogmatic it will likely backfire on you.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Couple of things here...

1) If you were AFC in a girl's eyes, then did a 180 on your personality, it's not a guaranteed home run because she may get thrown off by this complete change.

2) Seems like you aren't necessarily applying all techniques correctly as puaninja is saying. "I would always just ramp up attraction and make the girl chase and chase until she loses interest." Not quite. Depending on the situation, it's okay to drop subtle hints to signal your interest (without saying crap like "I like you" or "I want to date you.") Also, see Push-Pull. Something you probably should be doing a lot more.

3) You don't need to integrate everything about PU into your game. I never integrated lying, let alone exaggeration. The only time I'll lie is when it comes to my feelings or anything else that comes from within and that only I can know the answer to.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

if PUA fails, live Epically. But living Epically is probably too demanding for you.

I thought a lot about things and I think I tend to overdo the pua stuff and play too hard to get. Main points I need to remember are:

-it's ok to show interest and make your intentions clear long as you aren't professing your love or begging.
-it's ok to be nice and honest. When they say nice guys finish last, they mean guys who are too nice to escalate and go for things they want NOT you must be cocky and an asshole to get the girl.

One thing I'm still confused about that I wanted to ask you guys... The fine line between chasing/persistence and being needy. I feel like some girls just don't chase no matter how attracted she is. Guys need to lead the interaction and take full responsibility and put himself in the vulnerable position, not the girl. So can you give me examples on how to chase and be persistence and then give me an example when it becomes too much and needy?

it depends on the perception of the girl you are chasing.

Look either a girl likes you or she doesn't. FORGET about creating attraction - IT'S A MYTH.
If a girl is into you feel free to chase her. If she isn't, unfortunately, you have no choice but to move on.

This is true. However, be perceptive to the "you can approach" signal that she will give off. If she does, close in, and don't screw it up.