I had a rather heated debate with some friends the other night on this topic. For me, to pay for a first/second date instead of going 50-50 is almost like paying for pussy. Why should you pay for some girl you barely know just cause she has a vagina? If you invite some male friends to chill with you and you guys go and get food, would you pay for them? Now if I had a job and I'm doing well financially and I was on a date with some broke college girl, then it's different. But I'm a broke student, and most people at my school are broke students too.

My friends think it's chivalry. They argue that it's the "gentlemanly" thing to do, and that it's the "social norm". They argued things like if you don't pay for her, many other guys will. And she'll find someone who will. That makes perfect sense...if she's a gold digging bitch. I feel like if you do a good job attracting her during the date, then whether or not you pay for her half at the end of the date shouldn't really be a huge factor in whether or not you get another date.

Is it really necessary that your wallet takes two bullets instead of one every date? Or do you think 50-50 is the way to go.

This dissonance often comes up in my head. I was raised in Ukraine where you ALWAYS pay for the girl when you two are out, no matter if you're dating or not. In American it's clearly different. But then again, I was brought up in a well-off family and I have no financial problems in regards to paying for the both of us. It's never a problem.

Most PUAs will tell you to not pay. Personally, I take the tab. I make sure she either tries to take it or offers to split it, after which I typically say, "Let me feel like a man next to such a beautiful woman" and take it. I never thought that that phrase would work, but it was suggested to me by this Buddhist woman when I spent a summer living with her. I don't know why, but girls always dig it. Other thing you can say is "Let me get this one, and you pay for the next."

It's pretty subjective in my opinion.

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Well I refuse to vote...I dont think not paying is an afc move, and the only choice is chivalry or afc.....so shows what side of the fence you already lean. I do think the idea of paying is great, but not for every girl, every time......Some girls may already be edgy if they think you are needy, and depending on how they see the issue, it can swing either way, just be perceptive. I do agree though that saying I get this round you get next round, is best way to go about it. Unless its just drinks, then make her get 1st and you grab 2nd so she doesnt score a free drink and ditch ya.

I'm always thought that if she's sufficiently interested this should really be a non-issue. But my friends spent like half an hour trying to drill into my head that a gentleman would always do it and not expect things in return.

Yeah, and I'm sure the women also clean the house, bake for guests, cook regularly and fuck their husbands on demand. Gender roles have the good and the bad.


Personally I wouldn't say paying is "completely" AFC, but I do believe it hurts your chances of having casual sex, even if it's to a small degree. Of the f-buddy relationships I've had that lasted the longest, I can honestly say I paid for almost jack-shit. I remember one time after sex me and this girl went to the movies and I laughed when she told me to pay for her, and the cashier said he would if he was dating her. She ended up giving me road head on the way home, and we did it again that night.

Paying for her versus going dutch makes you look try-hard (covertly), and she'll end up feeling like she owes you something. Or worse, she just uses you for the free meals while she bangs somebody else. Chivalry died the day feminism came to fruition (third-wave, at least), so if they're independent enough to make their own decisions and earn their own money, they should be independent enough to go dutch.

This is exactly my opinion as well. It's just the way I was raised. I don't think this has anything to do with being an AFC.

With my vote it would be 3-3...pretty much what I expected. Small sample size though...so...bump.

I've had the situation where the waiter brought the bill to us, and the girl stood up, walking to the door, indirectly telling me: "You're paying"

I would pay for that bill, but she'll be making the coffee at my home.

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It's shit like that I hate the most. Girls assuming you're gonna pay just cause you have a penis and they have a vagina. Feminist/gold-digging bullshit if you ask me.

Back in the day women generally didn't have real jobs. They stayed at home, took care of the house and didn't make money. Therefore it made sense that the man paid. However in the 21st century this isn't the case anymore. They have jobs and the gender income gap is generally shrinking. Some of them are actually mad ballers that get paid six figures cause they have management positions. Yet some of these women still expect the man to pay. Think about that.

A chivalrous motive would be to protect someone who is powerless. Although it was certainly different in times past, women are not exactly powerless in this day and age. In fact, some women even goad men into paying under the threat that they will think less of him if he doesn't. Does that sound powerless to you? Paying on the first date is not chivalrous, but placating. It is not the story of a knight who saves a damsel in distress, but the story of a man who tries to appease a goddess with an offering of food and humility.

Of course, I'm making this a much more serious issue than it really is, and I might offer to pick up a bill if I'm in the mood and spare in cash. But when a woman clearly expects me to do it, that is when I absolutely refuse. Let her execute her harshest threat, and see how many fucks I give for that.

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It's definitely not AFC. It's expected. However, if a bitch doesn't even offer to pay, then I typically don't bother for another date. Bitches be bitches. Naw mean?

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Ill buy drinks on a first or second date. If your poor just go somewhere with cheaper drinks. Dont buy meals until you fuck the girl. After you have had sex you can be more generous. Don't try to buy affection or act like she is doing you a favor by being with you so your paying, thats DLV.

I have no issue with paying...I am not broke student after all. However, I would expect a thank you. The thing I hate about Asian women, is that they EXPECT you to pay, and for that reason, they rarely say thank you. I rarely have this issue with white women.

I don't pay on dates.

THANK YOU. REPPED.

EDIT: Oh snap they got rid of it. Just noticed lol...